Ha ha, you got me Michael Kelso. Fine, I just got Punk'd, where the fuck are you hiding at, you trucker hat wearing mofo? Isn't one Geisha House enough already? This joint is about 5 years too little, too late...
"It's a high-energy, music-driven sushi concept..." WTF does that mean? Who is this... P. Diddy or Jermaine Dupri? If you have to have a theme to cover up the purity of the sushi, there's problem number one. We all know Ru San's is the badass rock-n-roll/ techno Candy Sushi concept, fine, but no one is kidding themselves either about the food. It's cheap, plentiful, barely edible and Mexican, perfect for the poor young college kids. But if you're charging prices upwards of triple digits for a dinner for two, you better bring it. So, after letting all the positive soft opening reviews digest, it was time to see how they manned up to paying customers.
Sweet Appleseed, if I never see another God damn cream cheese roll in my life it would be too soon. Rolls are not sushi. Cream cheese is not Japanese, hell, it's not even real cheese. Limburger laughs at it. I knew what I was getting into but shit, I was getting a migraine reading roll after roll stuffed with this crap and covered in sweet sauces. It was more mind altering than the weed I smoked laced with angel dust last week.
Started with the Okinawa Iced Tea... It was like reenacting the battle for Okinawa. It was a bloody battle to find the booze of mass destruction in there. It was sobering.
Crispy Soft Shell Crab - Stoked to see 2 crabs on the menu but when it came out, I felt like I got smoked. Just covered all to hell in panko breading and over fried... Like bad chicken fingers. The middle was pure mush and smelled like taint. The ponzu garlic sauce didn't do much to enhance it, mebbe some MSG would help. The Asian slaw was nothing more than chopped up cabbage doused in some watery concoction from the swamps of Dagobah.
Spicy Octopus and Cucumber Salad - I don't even know where to begin with this thing. It looked like the Soft Shell Crab spewed all over it. Everything was cut into brunoise size. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack for that octopus. The taste is indescribable... part sriracha and part salt water. It was so 80's nouveau... And it shoulda stayed there.
Sashimi Assortment - Tuna, salmon, yellowtail, whitefish and octopus. The quality vs. price point was about right... At a dollar a piece. It was passable but not memorable, mostly because it was totally flavorless which might be a good thing since it didn't smell like the Clermont Lounge. The whitefish shoulda been called hackfish... That thing was so hacked up it fell apart into pieces trying to pick it up. The gari (pickled ginger) was inedible, how do you screw this up from a jar? The Shiso leaves were the only things that impressed me. I wrapped the sashimi in it a la Korean bbq style.
Uni - This was the only thing that saved the night. The two muted yellow double stack of creamy gonads were tasty... Which also represents the two yellow stars above.
Mango Lobster Roll - I had to do it. Just to reconfirm why rolls are not sushi and just a bad joke. "Lobster mix"? It was bland tasteless imitation lobster! Canned mango slices and the kiwi-wasabi sauce was just way too sweet... It's only purpose was to mask the entire thing in HFCS (high fructose corn syrup). Any one got a Coke to wash it down? Wait a minute, WTF is kiwi-wasabi sauce anyways?
On the bright side, at least the sushi chefs were Asians, what kinda flavas they were... Who knows. But definitely not Japanese, they woulda committed Seppuku long ago. As long as I don't hear them speak Spanish, it's all cool with me.
The server was wet with sake behind both ears and eyeballs. Although, she was very sweet, she went full retard after taking the order. Discombobulated with cooked items vs. raw items. Just wasn't well versed with the menu.
The space is nice, I like the dark woods and the sake barrels hanging from the ceiling, kinda reminds of Spice Market with the wood cages, bells and rope... Don't know why, though, mebbe to hang myself afterwards from that deafening music.
Ru San's in Seven jeans.
2 Stars. 1 each for the Uni.
Thanks Benihana... You did it again!
Pooped.
1080 Peachtree Street, Suite 8
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 267-0114
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