Friday, March 15, 2013

Popeyes


When I was a boy, Out of the Blue, I had a wet dream about Debbie Gibson one night... I always wanted to take her to my favorite restaurant that served the best fwied cheekan this marsupial pouch has ever had. Anything Is Possible but it never happened. No, only in my dreams, As real as it may seem, It was only in my dream...

So, what's a depressed chubby little Oriental boy gonna do? This Electric Youth sings her his love song... With a drumstick in hand.

I get lost in your thighs
And I feel my saliva rise
And score like a win...
Is it love that I am in?

I get weak in the drive-thru with a glance
Isn't this what's called bromance?
...And now I know
'Cause when I'm in a rush I can go

I don't mind not knowing what I'm hungry for
You can take me on your wings to the skies...
It's like being lost in chicken heaven
When I'm lost in your thighs

I'm so full, don't know why
Something's there my pouch can't deny...
And when I first knew
Was when I first took a bite outta you

And if I can't find a store my way
If satiation seems worlds away
Oh, you'll be found
When I am lost in your thighs

I don't mind not knowing what I'm hungry for
You can take me on your wings to the skies...
Oh it's like being lost in chicken heaven
When I'm lost in your thighs

I get weak on line with a glance
Isn't this what's called bromance?
Oh, you'll be found
When I am lost in your thighs


Burp.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

KR Steakbar

Update...

Screw third time's a charm... Sometimes it takes four. So, after a few I weeks went back to see how they were doing. That large kitchen staff should be nailing this shit by now... Hell, they should have had enough time to sync their periods by now.

Friday night primetime...  No more amateur hour. Kevin was present for tonight's showing which is a good sign. Time to nut up or shut up.

Bay scallops and beets. Bay scallops are silly to me because they look like leftover kibbles and bits my dog leaves in his bowl when he rather eats my meat... But I got say this was a colorful and tasty little dish.

Razor clams. Surprised and happy to see them on the menu on this visit. They're like penises of the sea but better. Pretty awesome stuff. Didn't see many chicks ordering this, their lost is my gain. Wait, that didn't come out right. Order it before it's off the menu.

Sweetbreads, pork belly. Nice combo of fried sweetbreads and pork belly, very tasty but the carrot ribbon did nothing for me. I rather trade it for another nugget of sweetbread. Good stuff though.

The hamery, tenshootoe, Tennessee. Nice and smoky meat flaps from the cameltoe region.

Tri-tip. Best cut of the heffer? Ah, yeah, prolly right after the deckle cut. This was cooked spot on medium rare.

Pappardelle, bolognese. Pastas in the past disappointed but have they finally fixed the problem? I think so. This was executed nicely.

Hanger steak, mushrooms, brown butter. A tad bit under cooked at medium rare minus. A rookie mistake or rushing out plates too quickly? Who knows but not really a big deal except it was missing the brown butter. Still a tasty piece of meat... After another few seconds back in the oven.

Chocolate hazelnut budino, candied hazelnut, biscotti. Yeah, pudding, how exciting... But the sea salt brought it to another level, edible.

Has the kinks been worked out since day one? Well, the fancy shitter outside has been taken away, I think that says a lot that this place has cleaned up it's act. So, yeah, this place has my blessing now.

Tasty stuff.

2 Stars.


--------------------------------------------------------------
3/14/13

No marketing,  no PR, no Opentable, nor frivolous spending on wasted email blasts that doesn't seem to do shit to fill the seats... This joint proves that the marketing industry is as dead as newspapers. In this technological age it's all word of mouth and free social media via the intertubes to put a place on the map... And having the name Kevin Rathbun doesn't hurt either in this town.

What I like about this place is that it isn't in Inman Park. He broke away from his little corner of the world and set up shop in all places, Peachtree Hills. WTF is that? Yeah, it's a little street that most people never heard of or been on. There's a couple restaurants around there that no one really goes to but somehow survives the sands of time. The small plate concept of this new joint is based loosely on the Italian and steakhouse theme. I'm guessing there's pasta and meat. Let's sample a dish or ten... Small plates can't be that expensive, right?

Lamb tartar, caponata. Supposedly, lamb hearts... Hmmm. They were tender, that's about all I could remember of this dish. Sounds better on paper than on the dish.

Mushrooms, charred lettuce. See any char? Put on your glasses then. Still don't see it? Oops, my bad, you're right there was no char. Mushrooms? Yeah, a few bits here and there, hen of the woods, barely noticeable. Weak weak dish, amateur at best.

Sardines, fennel, pine nuts, saffron. This was a nice dish, well-executed and tasty. Real sardines! It needed a nice drizzle of olive oil, though.

Tripe, guanciale, tomato. It's just one big pool of mess, can't differentiate the tripe, guanciale or tomato. It's a mash up of a dish but edible. But I won't be getting it again.

Salt cod fritters, parsley aioli. Cute little dish and tasty, too. No complaints... Of course not, it's fried.

Octopus, farro, candied lemon. Baby pussies poached in red wine and then grilled off, you can't screw that up but you can try to screw it. Tis was a decent dish.

Chicken hearts, rosemary. Loved these hearts, sliced in half, super tender and flavorful... The price not so much. Put these 3 slices together you get 1.5 hearts for the mere price of like $6. A quart of hearts (about 250+ hearts) at Buford Hwy farmers market is like $3. Fuzzy math.

Lamb sausage, aged balsamic. We all know what this looks like... Pass the doggie bag. I got this a couple times, the first was pretty good and tasty, the second was seared on the outside but totally raw on the inside. The presentation really looks like shit, no pun intended.

Rapini, cream, garlic, parmesan. Mushy baby food with other green veggies added into it. Hmmm, kinda suspect. Liked the slices of cheez, though.

Oxtail ravioli. Pulverized meat filling, coulda been tempeh or Ikea meatballs. Pasta was gummy. They would be better off as little hats for hamsters.

Trenette, clams, white wine, parsley. Fancy pasta name, all it was- fettuccine, undercooked. Clams- decent. Kinda a snoozer of a dish with little flavor. Barely a hint of white wine, butter, olive oil or seasoning. Tiny portion, big price tag for pasta.

Hanger steak, kumquat salad.Grilled perfectly, tasted great... And it should from KR. Chintzy on the kumquat with like 3 thin slices from a single kumquat.

Porchetta, cracklings. Cracklings- cute, porchetta- deep fried like a mini chuleta can can found in Puerto Rico but not as tasty. It's one of the better dishes here but a non-contender compared to other porchettas around town.

Spaghetti, guanciale, black pepper, egg. Pasta- undercooked (again), guanciale- acceptable (but can't confirm if it was guanciale), black pepper- yes, egg- AWOL (unless it was an eggwash). A pretty underwhelming dish that I could make with a Boy Scout mess kit in the woods.

Short rib, polenta. Short rib fork tender and savory but the polenta was like a thin porridge lacking any seasoning.

Like the location, like the space and decor, service was decent but could use more training, cocktail menu needs work, the food menu needs a lot of work. Italian small plates is a oxymoron. The tiny pasta dishes were barely satisfying and the flavors were weak. The meats were well executed but the portion doesn't equal the price. You feel like you were ripped off after paying the check while thinking of the next place to go to get something else to eat (which I did twice).

The food is a hit or miss (mostly) but it doesn't matter what I think, the place has been slammed since opening night. The demographics is diverse but it's definitely catered towards the age group that's about to make their required minimum IRA distribution... And y'all know that the cougars can sniff them out like me to Popeyes. As a dinner destination, it's kinda borderline for me. I don't mind grabbing a drink and a small nibble at the bar but the smallish bar has been pretty much packed on a nightly basis. They have a lounge area with chairs and small tables, if the bar is full. I like KR's other joints, they got their shit together over there... Hopefully, this new baby to the family grows up sooner rather than later. 

Developing...

349 Peachtree Hills Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30305
404-841-8820
www.krsteakbar.com

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Dutch

Like all New Yorkers, I hate Brunch. The whole Brunch concept is so contrived. Is it breakfast or lunch... Do I put a napkin on my lap like the civilized ladies on Downton Abbey or not... If I go early in the morning do I eat Linner or Lupper later? Then what do I do about Dinner? Brunch is such a girls' thing. Those nitwits from Sex in the City do Brunch all the time and talk about bullshit that doesn't concern me or the human race. But sometimes you have no choice because the restaurant only offers Brunch on the weekends. I'm in a dilemma here, do I eat here or do dim sum instead? Which is basically Chinese Brunch (fuck, I'm so screwed). Then I saw on their Brunch menu.... Hot fried cheekan. Sold! Sign me up, you Yentas...

HOT FRIED CHICKEN, HONEY BUTTER BISCUIT. Holy fuck, Colonel Cluckers. First of all, they make their own hot sauce which tells me they got balls... Big hairy ones. But is it any good like my Lick My Balls hot sauce that could be found sometimes at Heirloom BBQ... Not even close, bro. It's got some heat but nothing near the 'tear you a new asshole' heat that I crave for. Thanks for playing, here's a trophy, now run along, Timmy. Let's get to the good stuff, the fwied cheekan. It is a hefty portion, an entire half a bird, double battered and deep fried to 'perfection' (like how Golden Corral does it). I shit you not, this is a good ghetto pigeon, a very good one. Some people don't like heavier crusts, I say fuck that. That's basically the best part. It's like foul crack, can't get enough of that shit. The honey butter biscuit were even better than Popeyes' biscuits that just came right out of the oven, is this a dream? This is like a wet dream to me... Except the coleslaw was pretty lame. Hell, who eats coleslaw anyways, give it to the help, Lord Crawley.

ALMOND FRENCH TOAST, BANANAS FOSTER. Thick ass cut bread and super sweet bananas and caramel sauce. Someone get me a new pair of pants, my ass just exploded. If you like sweet and savory, this is for you... I'll have a bite, I'm on a diet.

BAKED EGGS, BARBECUE SHORT RIB, CHIPOTLE BEAN. Looks like some fancy southwestern dish you find on the border. Baked eggs seemed more like poached eggs but well executed. Short ribs under that mess was tender and flavorful. This looks like a mess you find in a baby's diaper but man, it was tasty. I can understand why dogs eat poop now. Taste even better if you're blind.

MUSHROOM OMELETTE, GOAT CHEESE, LEEKS, WATERCRESS. Why is there a vegetarian at the table? Can vegetarians even eat goat cheese? It's basically goat piss, that can't be vegetarian approved. But whatevs, that omelette was cooked spot on. Look at that color, no brown bits at all... That's more than I can say for my underpants. Well executed dish, but boring as fuck... Almost put me to sleep, I think it was singing a lullaby. Snoooze.

The Dutch has talent, it better with Andrew Carmellini behind it. This dude is killing it in this city, especially, with Locanda Verde (that joint is da bomb). This is the standard for all NYC restaurants. But if you're in Miami Beach, he opened a Dutch there, too. If you haven't eaten here, go... Go now.

Burp.


3 Stars.

131 Sullivan Street
New York, NY 10012
212-677-6200
http://thedutchnyc.com/

Ramen Misoya

My ramen quest is never ending. And this tiny hole in the wall is off the grid for most tourists and novice. They specialize in miso based ramen only and located right next to a couple of my favorite drunk snatch shacks, Cheeps and Paul's Burger Joint. If you don't open your eyeballs, you will easily miss this armpit.... Which I'm OK with because who needs Bubba from Alabama taking up 2 valuable spaces up in this piece. The space is not as small as Totto Ramen (one of my favs) but if you don't get there early before the rush, you'll be waiting a good bit to nosh on their fleshy noodle. This is the first NYC location for this international franchise... What? Yeah, who knew they were a multi-location, multi-country chain located around the world. But the question is... Is it worth the valuable pouch space?

Time to put up or shut up. So, what is good to eat here... You got 3 types of miso- Kome (red) Hokkadio style, Shiro (white) Kyoto style, and Mame, popular in Nagoya. There's also a bunch of extras and other filler shit to dump in your bowl of noods if you like playing Top Chef. The lunch special is a really good deal if you can swing it during the week days. It's like $10 and comes with a ton of shit. You can watch the FOBs in the basement make your bowls on a TV screen. Fancy.

Kome Miso. The ramen noodles are thicker than most joints. A dealer breaker? Nah, the broth is where is at. Not as salty as I thought but it had a nice soothing flavor to assist the thick noodles slide down your hole. The potato wedges were kinda weird and didn't do much to enhance the flavor except maybe for texture or something. I also got some fried tofu slices which were nice. The softish boiled egg was nice, still runny enough to coat your throat. This is a big bowl of ramen noodle and a steal of a deal for lunch if you're hungry. Wait, the shit doesn't stop here...

Kara Age. The lunch special I chose also comes with fried cheekan nuggets and rice. Holy shit that's a lot of grub. These cheekan bits were pretty awesome, crispy thin crust, juicy tender inside and some sea salt to topped it off. It's funny that they give you rice as well... It's starchy overload! Love it!

Is this ramen shop a contender in a city with noodle shops on every corner? Yes. I would totally go back for the lunch steal. Sometimes, it's not always about the infamous tonkotsu ramen... Well, maybe. But this miso joint is a nice getaway from the hip and trendy spots that you have to wait hours to get in to... Fuck that noise, especially, if you're in a rush or have to take a dump.

1.5 Stars.

129 2nd Ave
New York, NY 10003
(212) 677-4825
http://www.misoyanyc.com

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

General Muir

It's tough being a halfie. One half tells me to eat Popeyes, the other half tells me to eat Ms. Piggy. Most of the time I just say fuck it and give me a bacon wrapped chicken thigh deep fried in pork bouillon enriched fat. So, where can a gentile and a member of the tribe both meet for a meal in this one donkey sauce town? There are no friggin delis in this town... Some claim to be but they are just pulling your Schwartz. Enters, the General... No, not Tso but Muir. The closest thing to a NY deli joint... So, they say. Sounds like a triple dog dare and y'all know how much I like to eat dogs and deers...

MATZOH BALL SOUP herbs, vegetables, schmaltz. Interesting spelling on Matzo or Matzah... Maybe it's because this is their southern version of the classic? Since, I'm part of the tribe, I've had my share of this favorite Passover pastime classic. There's two camps on this, either floaters or sinkers. This one is definitely on the light and fluffy side. While it was a decent ball, I prefer mine a little denser... I'm all about ball bobbing. I suspect seltzer was part of the dough mix to lighten things up. I wished they used more schmaltz, too. The chicken soup was nice and flavorful. Overall, good stuff. I approve.

CORNED BEEF REUBEN sauerkraut, russian, gruyere, buttered rye. Besides the pastrami, the Reuben is the true test of a real deli sandwich. I'm all about Katz's, so this would be hard for me to swallow. But this wasn't. It was a pretty damn good Reuben for a southern joint. It was buttery and gooey but manageable in a hand to mouth manner. Corned beef was nice, not too salty and not too dry. The only thing that they switched up was the swiss for gruyere. The kraut coulda used a little more time fermenting. But I was totally fine with that noise. Can you believe I have nothing really bad to say about this? Wow. I impress myself sometimes. OK, it coulda used a couple more layers of meat flap for the price of admission.

CHOPPED CHICKEN LIVER schmaltz, caramelized onions, pletzel bread. I make the fucking best chicken livers in the world. Motherfuckers travel great distances to swallow my organ and then soil their pants immediately after. So how was this rendition? Not too shabby. Nice spreadable consistency and had a nice bite to it. I prefer it to be more silky vs. dense but it doesn't take away from the flavor. The pletzel bread is definitely a sight for sore eyes, this traditional Yiddish focaccia style flat bread is not common around these here parts. They did a nice job on it.

CRISPY PASTRAM. It's a pretty good pastrami, no complaints but Katz's is still King... There is no substitute. Ever.

POUTINE. gravy, cheese curds, pastrami. They did a great job on this poutine, the gravy was thick and not overloaded, just the right amount. Besides the missing pastrami, the only complaint would be the curds, needed a little infusion of heat to soften it, the heat from the fries didn't cut it. It looked like gnocchi but it was quite tasty and I ate the whole damn thing. That says a lot.

DOUBLE BURGER STACK onion slaw, American cheese, poppy seed roll, fries (substitute for pickled vegs). The ghost of the Bocado Burger... Not bad at all. The huge wedge of lettuce made it a bit difficult to shove that manmeat inside your mouth but it's totally doable with a little practice, relax your throat. I like my burgers greasy like how it should be but this was a tad too greasy. Not a problem though, since I inhaled it within 6 bites. Is it the best burger in da ATL? Maybe in the Top 5 I would say. I didn't want to double up on the fries from the poutine so I got some pickled veggies instead, they were nice, the beets were the best.


PRUNE STUFFED GNOCCHI oxtail ragu, carrots, brussels sprouts. I hope these aren't the curds the poutine was looking for... Nice colorful dish and well executed but doesn't the amount of gnocchi seem a little skimpy compared to all the other accoutrements in the dish? While the gnocchi was a little spongy and coulda used more prunes inside, the oxtail ragu made up for it with it's wonderful flavors. Not saying the gnocchi was bad, just expected it to be a little firmer. It was nice dish overall but overpriced for what it was.

The General Muir did not sink on my voyages here but the lunch and brunch menu is where it's at. It's a "deli" after all, stick to the luncheon meats and bagels. The dinner menu needs a little more variety. I don't know how kosher it is, if any at all (did not witness any beardnets in the kitchen) but I mostly enjoyed everything I have had and I will be back.

L'Chaim! Pass the Manischewitz.

2.5 Stars.

1540 Avenue Pl B-230
Atlanta, GA 30329
(678) 927-9131
http://www.thegeneralmuir.com/