Friday, December 17, 2021

Popeyes Hottie Sauce Chicken Nuggets and Sandwich

In case you're reading this ridiculous food blog for the first time... 

My name is Pouch and I'm a fat marsupial fuck. 

Hi Pouch... 

I'm addicted to cheekan, OK, mostly fwied cheekan... And I like fast food fwied cheekan, especially, Popeyes. 

So, they have been plastering the airwaves and interwebs with their new sauce, Popeyes Hottie Sauce, being pimped out by Megan Thee Stallion... 

Who da fuck is Megan Thee Stallion you axe?

It's Sly's daughter... Duh. She's one of those dark Eyetalians, you know, from the southern coastal area near the tip of the stiletto of the boot. She was in Demolition Man, she was in the background making chimichangas at Taco Bell.

I know what y'all are saying... Ginzos do not eat fried chicken. Did my beloved Pops fuck up with this gimmick... Is it time for Megan to sleep with the fishes? Let's go check it out... But if this doesn't pan out, there's always a back up plan (surprise)...

Chicken Nuggets-
They don't look like nuggets... They look more like kid's size tenders. They were crispy and tasty but really nothing that special. It just doesn't compare with their amazing bone-in cheekan... Spicy, of course.

I got both the Sweet Heat and Hottie Sauce to compare...

There is no difference at all visually. And it also tasted the same... They should call it- WEAK ASS HEAT by Chad Thee Chode. It's more sweet than spicy... Chickfila's Polynesian sauce is spicier.

Enough of the kiddie tenders... Time for the big guns.

Chicken Sando-
This ain't no regular Pop's cheekan sando which still reigns supreme in the cheekan sando wars... This is the Hottie sando... See the "H" on it? They are so SMRT to label it. Finally, working for that $15/hr... 

Bun looks kinda flat... Let's see what under Megan's gigantic bread bra...

That is a handful of fowl mammary... GMO, saline or silicone? Not much Hottie sauce on it... Need to add more but they are really chintzy about it... They may give you two if you axe nicely.

Double nipple pickles and a smear of the Hottie Sauce I assume... Kinda looks like slutty Chino nuclear sweet & sour sauce.

The double side boob... Wooo, what does it mean? Oh, it's so beautiful. The cheekan sando is great but does the Hottie Sauce make it even better? Fuck no. When this promo/gimmick runs it's course and if you really like it, you can always order the regular cheekan sando and get a few Sweet Heat sauces... Believe the Pouch, you won't notice the difference.

So, Pouch, what's the surprise that your lard ass was hinting at before?

The nuggets were just OK, the cheekan sando was good as usual, the Hottie Sauce was a dud and this corpulent chode is still hungry... But the Pouch is SMRT and always have a backup plan... Viola! A fucking box of goddamn dericious SPICY bone-in golden fwied cheekan... Heaven, it's heaven.

Y'all know how it tasted... No review required... OK, here's my three word review... 

PUMP PUMP SQUIRT...