Monday, August 20, 2018

The Po'Boy Shop

This new po'boy shop quietly opened next to Ms. Icey's in the Community Q BBQ strip mall... But it's making a big draw with the crowds. Supposedly, they have served over 400 po'boys in 3 days and many other items on the menu. Obviously, the big seller is the po'boys since they are proudly serving the famous Leidenheimer bread which makes the po'boy a po'boy... Kinda like how an Amoroso roll makes a cheesesteak a philty. The last time I had a po'boy with Leidenheimer bread was at On the Bayou on South Cobb Drive many many moons ago... It was pretty good but they shuttered eventually like everything else in Cobb county. There hasn't been a decent po'boy since... Not that you can't find a po'boy around this one horse town but if it's not on a Leidenheimer bread, it's tough to call it a po'boy.
Since, this new joint is using the genuine bread, it's time for the Pouch to take a sneak peek and see what the fuss is about... Walked in and it's counter service which is pretty much standard for this type street grub. I liked the open kitchen so you can see them hock a loogie in your food if they're having a bad day. It's clean and it looks like they are doing a good job at keeping it clean with this type of messy menu. For being open for just a few days, they are pretty efficient but are they consistent? Let's go find out... I'm kinda excited and skeptical about the Leidenheimer bread, there is just so much bait and switch going on these days and most people will never even notice.

Half & Half, oyster and shrimp, spicy remoulade, Leidenheimer bread. They have a small which is 6 inch for $10 and the regular is 10 inch for $14... Which was kinda pricey for an unproven po'boy. I went for the full priced 10 inch to see what they were packing... As did many other broads behind me, they must be hungry for the 10 inch po'boy. It came out wrapped in paper and the size looked decent... Once it was unwrapped, I poked at the bread. It had a thin crispy crust and a soft spongy inside. The bread seemed legit... And the crispy golden brown sea snots and skrimps peeking out did so as well. It's a good start so far... Let's open up this specimen and check out the seahorse power underneath the hood...

What the fuck... How chintzy can you be for $14? What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this? They should rename this joint "The Po Shop Boys" instead. This snatch patch had 3 small oysters and 4 shrimp in single file. C'mon, for $14 you gotta be a little more generous with the all important filler. I don't know who cut the veg but it looked like they cut the iceberg lettuce and tomatoes together at the same time like at Ann's Snack Bar. I kinda prefer the lettuce to be a bit more shredded and the tomatoes in half moon shape.. But that is neither here nor there, it's just all aesthetics, right... C'mon, Pouch, it's not nice to criticize them about proper knife skills in a commercial kitchen. Closed the hood and took a bite... It's not bad at all but I must admit that the bread had a lot to do with that. The oyster and shrimp had a nice crispy batter and seasoned nicely... But I wanted a couple more oysters and shrimp, I wanted this po'boy to be plump like me. The pickles were fine and the spicy remoulade was pretty tasty. It was a respectable po'boy, great bread but just fill'er up with just a bit more crispy sea nuggets and I would be ok with paying y'all top dollar. Would I get it again? No, not at this point. But I would if they would just clean it up a bit more. This is not a subliminal message... I want more shit inside that fucker, yo.

Combo of Oyster, Shrimp and Grouper.  Red beans & rice, slaw, hush puppies and remoulade. When I opened the lid... At first glance, it didn't look like $16 worth of food. That styrofoam box looked kinda light with a few scraps of fried sea specimens. 3 oysters, 3 shrimp, 2 grouper and 2 hush puppies. Let's take a closer look...

Now, lookie here... Up close and personal. The batter is pretty good, light, thin and crispy. The hush puppies looked a bit sad... It's just useless filler anyways, so, we'll eat that last. The oyster and shrimp is the same as the po'boy. The grouper was nicely fried with the thin crispy crust and the inside was moist and flaky. It was pretty good. I would be happier if they round up the oyster and shrimp count  to 4 pieces each but the 2 pieces of grouper was acceptable.

Their red beans & rice was a pleasant surprise... It was robust and hefty, not like the box shit you get at the market with tiny beans you make at home. I almost wanted to do an "American Pie" with this glory hole of beans. It was almost spot on except that it needed to be seasoned more, it was kinda bland... Not that a little hot sauce can't fix. I saw the gumbo as well and it also looked pretty good, next time.

Let's get back to those saggy ass old man grandpa balls... I was hesitant to put their saggy balls in my mouth but I had to for my one reader. I cut a Nawlin's testicle open and it totally surprised me... It wasn't all dried out and grainy like at so many other places. It was moist, seasoned nicely with jalapeno bits and a golden brown crust. I couldn't believe it, this was a very respectable attempt at the lowly hush puppy.

Overall, it was a pretty decent display of Nawlin's street grub... Not considering the price as a factor. The po'boy needs to be cleaned up a bit but when they do, it will be fantastic. The fry platter was tasty as well but the portion needs to be for an adult, not a tween. The slaw and red beans & rice were acceptable as well but the hush puppy really surprised me the most on this initial visit.
The staff was quick and friendly but one of the owners/manager was just drenched in sweat... I mean like he just got a bucket of Gatorade dumped on him after a Saints win against the Falcons. I understand the stress and volume during a rush can make you sweat but if Gordon Ramsay saw this sweaty pig out in the dining room serving guests, he would send this donkey home to change. Seriously, it's not exactly appetizing to have someone soaked through his clothes serving your food. They say 1 in 4 people have Genghis Khan's DNA but half of the people who has eaten here has Po'Boy Shop DNA... I feel sweaty all of the sudden.
I would not go back for the standard po'boys until it's more consistent and the disgusting Impo'ssible Vegan Burger, why why why would you? But I would go back and try some of the other items on the menu like the Debris I saw at the next table, a gravy laden chopped roast beef that is more of a manwich log than a po'boy. But if it's on the Leidenheimer bread, I'll call it whatever you want me to... Because it did look pretty good in a messy saucy kinda way. The Cajun Meat Pies looked like little empanadas which may be a hit or miss, next time as well. I'm skeptical about the Muffaletta Po'Boy because it's just sacrilegious without the Silician sesame bread. But I like what they're doing in here and Decatur needed something a little different in this area. The local yokels are coming in by the truck loads so they must be giving the plebes what they want and that will keep them in business.

1369 Clairmont Rd.
Decatur, GA 30033
www.thepoboyshopatl.com

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Firepit Pizza Tavern

Gentrification is in full effect on this stretch of Memorial Drive... So much generic bland ass construction going up in this once desolate area that reminds me of Detroit. This little black and white strip mall is no exception. Ok, fine, the Grant Park Market is pretty cute and the prices for the items in the market are pretty damn affordable and competitive. Their little built in deli counter is adorable and the menu is pretty decent. There's not much else opened yet except for this joint and Full Commission which is only serving breakfast for now. So, since it was night time... I guess I have no choice except to sneak a peak at the 'Za they're doing here.
First of all, I walked around the entire place looking for the fire pit. Their website is like... "So grab your family and friends because nothing says gather together quite like a fire pit." There is no fire pit. What the fuck, yo? If I named a joint called Cheekan and Beer I would be expected to serve cheekan and beer. This lack of attention to detail is already getting on my nerves not to mention the prices of the 'Za.. But we will get to that in a little bit.
The space is clean and modern but lacks any type of personality. And the bar, it's like something you find in a hotel or an airport... It is gaudy, cheesy and kinda over the top for a 'ZA joint. You can prolly pick up some nightcrawlers at the bar after 9PM... But not on the night I was there, woof. For a weekend night, the joint should be hopping but it was barely half full and the demographics were mid-century plus and depressing as fuck. The entire vibe of the joint was putting me to sleep... Hopefully, the food doesn't either... Let's grab a quick bite because I really want to get the fuck outta here already...

Naked and Unicorn Wings. They didn't look bad when it came out but upon closer inspection, the wings were pretty small and a few wings looked like some rodent took a bite from them before they threw them in the fryer. They were fried nicely, crispy golden skin and decently moist inside, that's how most bros like their chicks. The hot sauce was the weak ass bottled varietal and did very little to spice things up on the nekid wangz but it was edible at least. The unicorn wings... I don't know what makes them so magical because they tasted like they were just seasoned with some sweetened dry rub. They were ok, but I wasn't pooping rainbow soft serve or beaming rainbows out of my eyeballs. They were acceptable but there was nothing craveworthy about them.

Firepit Dip, brussels sprouts. It's amazing they have already bait and switched the price from $10 to $12... $2 may not sound like a lot but percentage wise, oh, it's a big change, so, it better be friggin' out of this world. And then this came out... Was someone using the bread as an elbow rest? Those two halves look like they were used as shoes on Naked and Afraid through the Amazon forest. And from this pic it looked like both halves could fit inside that side dish of brussels with room to spare. This sando is friggin small... S. M. All. I opened up the sando and the meat inside looked like a lump of coal. It wasn't sliced to make it easier to chew or eat... It was just a lump of overcooked, dried out, chewy turd that belonged on the edge of a lawn than inside your facehole. The au jus looked like the leftover coffee at the bottom of the pot after 3 days. You have no choice but to dip that dry ass sando in the jus to get it down your throat like at the July 4th Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest. Someone in the kitchen actually thought this looked appetizing on the plate. The brussels sprouts were a lot better but so would styrofoam peanuts after that sad excuse of a dip sando. To be fair, they don't have a firepit, so this dip couldn't be all that it could be without one. But still... I want my two dollars... Back.

Porchetta, tomato jam, argula. A 12" pie that is missing the red sauce and cut up into square slices for $19. Look at that fat wrinkly crust and that bushel of arugula... Kinda reminds me of a pig with a giant fat bush I hooked up with back in college. I was so boozed up, I couldn't see a thing when I was down in it's cellar, it was all stretch marks and thick curlies that flashed before my eyes, it was a sign my life was coming to an end. This crusty terror wasn't far from it, I hope I don't find any cheese inside the crust... Or else it will trigger another PTSD flashback. I need to step away from this mons pubis pie for a minute to gather myself.

The crust/dough was terrible, dried out, hard and way too crunchy and chewy... Come to think of it, if the crust had cheese in it, it woulda made a big difference. Cutting it into deformed squares made it even worse, they called it "Detroit" style... Did the Doctor cut it up with his metal hand? These square slices made me feel like a little kid eating room temp frozen 'Za back in the 70's. This pie was listed under the red sauce pies but it barely had a hint of red sauce. If they counted the tomato jam as sauce, then they also failed miserably since the pie was barely dotted with it... Shit, there was more sauce on the server's apron than on this pie. The slices of porchetta tasted like they were poached based on the gummy fat layers attached to it. The best part of this pie was the arugula, it was vibrant and fresh... That's because they didn't have to cook it. This porchetta pie sounds great on paper but it's lacking in all areas on execution. They really should give you a heads up on the square slices... They told me I can get it cut like a normal 'Za after the fact. I will never get another 'Za from here again... This specimen is all the proof I need.

This sampling of food was disappointing but not as disappointing as the space. This is supposed to be a "tavern"? It had zero "I want to stay here and drink some more" factor... I was struggling just to eat the food as quickly as possible, so I can get the fuck outta here ASAP and go somewhere else to drink. I mean, I would even go to the Republic, that dump has no atmosphere whatsoever but at least there's strange creastures to look at and make fun of at the deck bar. This place feels cold and empty... Maybe that's because they don't have that firepit to warm up the joint as promised. And if it is supposed to be a pizza tavern why aren't they showcasing the pizza oven? The pizza tasted like it came from an Easy Bake Oven... They should give you Shrinky Dinks on the side as a prize for ordering the pizza. The service and staff was borderline acceptable, nothing wrong with it but not really warm and friendly, either. It felt more like you were intruding on their space and time... If you're here and I'm here, doesn't that make it our time? Why do I feel like Spiccoli when he orders the pizza in class and Mr. Hand confiscate his pie and gives away the slices to his classmates and he's force to watch them enjoy his 'Za... But I actually wanted to give away my pizza to the few customers in here and watch them spit it out. I left more than half of that overpriced small 'Za on table and nobody wanted the rest... Not even the hobos on Memorial. How can a kitchen be so oblivious to what they're putting out and charging real money for it... At this rate, they should just move across the street with the rest of the dead. Bless their heart.

Flush.

519 Memorial Dr SE
Atlanta, GA 30312
http://www.firepitatl.com/

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Shoya Izakaya Check Up

It's no secret that Shoya has been on the Pouch's go-to list and rotation ever since they opened years ago. I have been a fan since day one and that has never wavered... It's been a few moons since I showed my fat face, it's about that time on the rotation schedule to make another visit, so, let's see how they're doing these days.
I know they have become very popular in the last couple years with the roundeyes but I was kinda surprised by how crowded it was on a recent visit... The line to get in was longer than the checkout line at Aldi. Yes, I said checkout line, singular... Because Aldi only have one person working the register, always... And of course, I'm always stuck at the end of the fucking Human Centipede line trying to buy 6 goddamn bananas, I felt like I was doing the elephant walk back in college again. The line at Shoya was no different... Y'all should see the specimens coming to eat here these days... Woof. I was having flashbacks from Aldi... Let's face it, some of the people that shop at Aldi ain't exactly photogenic, even in the dark. The Pouch is no exception... I usually feel like Clint Howard in most public domains but I feel like Brad Pitt inside Aldi. And now, it's at Shoya... Did I go on a Cosplay night? Because there were so many slobs and pigs dripping out of their skanky costumes or perhaps it was their normal daily rags, I couldn't tell.
Waited and waited because Masa wasn't there to hook me up, finally got a table in the back like an average nobody, get to eat the rest of my meal staring at a wall like a schnook. Things have certainly changed here... Hopefully, not for the worse. I was excited and quick to put in my standard order of their generous $8 for 8 oz. house "wisky" pour with ice on the side, but the new server girl said I should have the ice in it because they have "never" poured that much wisky... I showed her a picture of the pour last time I was here and she said, you must be mistaken, that's not from here. The picture had the Shoya menu in it... I was about to kick her in the balls but it looked like she was wearing her steel camel toed underpants. I was so pissed they were gonna fuck me on the wisky that I recanted the order... Told her to get me water, instead. And of course, I changed my damn mind the last second and got a Sapporo draft.... I need fucking booze to deal.
Let's take a look at the menu and see what's new on their massive mudflap sized menu... Motherfucker! The first goddamn thing I see is a fucking poke bowl... $16 for tuna or salmon scraps on rice. Holy shit, I wonder how many gaijins ordered this shit... They loved it as much as the California rolls. Fuck it, it can only go up from here... Or will it...

Fuck me... It's over Johnny, it's over. Swipe left quick!

BBQ Eel. Why is it sitting almost on the edge of the plate? And does this ultra glazed eel need more sauce on the side... Jesus, fuck me. What is going on up in this piece? The eel was fine, tasted acceptable but I have been noticing the portions on the dishes have gotten smaller and smaller over time and the price has inched up or stayed the same.

Ankimo. Can I get more green onions, pweez? WTF is going on... The presentation in the past was so awesome, simple and the monkfish liver was visible... Now, it's a treasure hunt and you may get lucky or not. It's all a gamble these days. But luckily, there was a decent amount of ankimo in there. And it was smooth and silky, not as good as before but still tasty. It seems like they are just rushing all these technical dishes these days because of the higher volume they're getting.

Sausage. This was just a pathetic plating... It used to come on a slim rectangular dish. They prolly ran out of them, so they just threw them on any old plate. The sausage still tasted great but you can tell they just really don't care about presentation anymore... Just slap it on there and get it out.

Koebi Karaage. Just like the eel, the baby shrimp portion is half the size it once was. It's still pretty tasty but I'm thinking this may the last time I get these little fuckers.

Soft Shell Crab. This is still spot on... I'm glad at least one thing stayed the same... So far.

Chicken Karaage. Ok, I will eat any cheekan that is fried without complaint and I really don't have anything bad to say on this... Except that they was a bit soggy and didn't have that crunch like they used to... Prolly from not frying them long enough due to the volume tonight. The batter mix may have changed a bit as well.

Monkfish Karaage. This was a special and I had to get it... And they were worth the price of admission. They call monkfish the poor man's lobster... Even though only poor people ate lobster back in the day because rich people didn't eat these nasty ass bottom feeders. These nuggets were thinly battered, crispy enough, moist and flavorful.

Kushikatsu. These were basically fried tonkatsu on a stick... And they were pretty tasty. Shit, you got panko fried pork cutlets on a stick, what's not to like... Just shut up and stick it in your piehole and enjoy.

Chashu Ramen. Before I get to this bowl... I have an amazing short story to tell... This hot little blond cosplay thing at the next table orders a bowl of ramen and she proceeds to only use a spoon to eat it. I guess she doesn't know how to use chopsticks and didn't want to embarrass herself in front of her LARP pals. Watching her struggle to get a noodle into her mouth for 3 minzies was breathtaking, since she seemed like the type of classy broad that have no problem with getting her boyfriend's noodle in her facegash. All you saw was ramen broth splishing and a splashing all over herself. Then all of the sudden she uses chopsticks to pick up a California roll... WTF just happened? Still a mystery to this day. But anyways... This chashu ramen did hit the spot. If you want flavor and filler, always get the ramen, especially, the tonkotsu here... But never at their ramen shop, Yebisuya, next door, it's just awful. How do you open a dedicated ramen joint and it sucks massive ass... Next.

Sashimi Deluxe. I order this every single time I come here and I was hoping it hasn't turned to shit with all these fucking yahoos coming here in droves these days. It has always been pretty spot on with a nice selection of fish... And to my surprise, it was still spot on with the place being so packed on this visit. I mean the quality of people in here was suspect... And usually the quality of food reflects the type of people in the joint. Yes, there were a shitload of pedestrians but look at that platter, it was colorful, vibrant and fresh. They even included the sweet shrimp which I didn't even have to ask... Speaking of skrimps...

Sweet Shrimp Heads. This is the best part of the sashimi deluxe... I fucking love eating brains and heads.

I absolutely hate the fucking crowds they draw in these days... It's full of fat smelly interlopers who order fried rice and California rolls because they read about it on Yelp. But that's the price you pay for being so good for so long. At least I had the pleasure of enjoying their menu for the last few years in a somewhat peaceful setting with the ex-pats. I don't even know where the ex-pats are anymore, I never see them in there nowadays, maybe they found a new secret joint... I wanna know! I don't get as excited coming here anymore because of the pedestrians this strip mall brings in since they opened the Revolting Play-Doh conveyor belt sooshee next door. This strip mall has become such a shit show goat rodeo that I don't come as much as I used to... As for Shoya, the massive menu for the most part is still pretty tasty, but the portions have decreased and the prices have increased. And they are becoming more gentrified with each passing day as evident by the new plebeian items found on the menu like the fucking poke ... My once favorite izakaya will be reduced to a Ru San's inevitably. I will keep going until they put a gyoza hot dog on the menu.