Ay caramba! Mambo Italiano in a sombrero...
Oy, Dios mio... That's all we need is another "franchise", I can already taste the mediocrity. But of course, like the idiot I am, I have to get the "scoop on the poop". Plus, I like alcohol and Mexi-joints love their booze almost as much as I do. I'm sooo fucking easy...
Bogarted a space right out front, went in to see what the fuss was about. The whole decor reeks of Juan Valdez and Speedy Gonzalez... It's almost insulting. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, why don't you just slap every Hispanic that walks by on the street... At least they see it coming and can try to fight back, unlike this joint. You just sit there and take it... Dirty Sanchez taco slap after Filthy Felipe taco slap right in my face.
"Authentic flour tortillas" ....fucking oxymoron if I ever heard one. I asked for the corn tortillas but they all mysteriously disappeared. Let me tell you something... These cheap ass tortillas were dried out like Matzo, bland shredded innards and dripping with piss juice. Puta madre, I've had some sloppy pink tacos before but damn Cheech, this was like el Rio Conchos or is it Rio Cochas? I needed "wings" just to eat these Mexi Pads.
Al Pastor - Guajillo rubbed pork shoulder, roasted pineapple, habanero chile salsa, cilantro, red onion, grilled pineapple... The only thing they forgot to put in there was the taco truck itself. Drip.
Camarones - Sauteed gulf shrimp, black bean puree, chili de arbol, spinach... Dat shwimp looked like it took a big dump in that tortilla diaper. Splash.
Brisket - Oven cooked brisket, pickled red onions... More like over cooked shitsket. Flop.
The Texas and Prickly Pear margarita were so friggin sweet, I almost had a seizure... No, I wasn't trying to pop and lock.
You know it's gonna be craptastic when the description is spelled out in English correctly on the menu... Only corporate proofreads. If this is Mexican, then I am too.
We don't need no stinking badges! ...Obviously, you don't need no stinking cook or decent food either.
Mierda.
Pricks.
950 W. Peachtree St NE
Ste 220
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 881-8887
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