Cuerno

When the Matador's away, the B.S. will play...

Speaking of bull, that piece of scrap metal could quite possibly trump Aria's cross-dressing Diamond Dog in brummagem. Just watch your junk when you walk out... those cuernos are deadlier than Bowie's silicone hump and ten inch stump. Oh wait, it was Pride weekend after all!

Screw all the glam... the grub was what I was here for, especially the paellas. A well read menu was a good start. An all Spanish wine list backed up the menu. All good signs... except that shrimp was out and R.U. wasn't around to keep things in check.

Croquetas de Jamon - Ham croquettes reminded me of fwied mozza sticks. I was looking for the marinara sauce... but none were to be had.

Fabada Asturiana - Chorizo, morcilla, chistorra, "judeon gigante" beans... ok, whatever that means but I swear I didn't see huevos on the list. It tasted like a half omelette and half quiche. I think there's a rogue line cook in there that night.

Ensalada Caliente de Pulpo - Warm octopus, potato, sweet paprika. Sounds tasty except that it was cold rubbery octopussy, garbanzo beanz and cherry tomatoes.

Paella Valenciana - Saffron-laced rice with shrimp, mussels, clams, cuttlefish, chicken, rabbit, and seasonal vegetables. Shrimp was out for the night but it still looked weak. Rice was undercooked, burnt on the bottom vs. caramelized, chicken was dry and hard, rabbit ditto, 3 mussels, 3 clams, cuttlefish or was it hermit crabs, no veggies witnessed... it was a large portion of rice for two but the scarce seafood/meat "Valenciana" part was pronounced more like "Vacant". It coulda been a lot better.

The bot of Tempranillo was supposed to be 2003 but they switched it to 2004. It was tasty but for an establishment such as this, I expect the menu/ wine list be up to date. If I was at Applebee's... I wouldn't care if my Miller Lite born on date was June 2008 or July 2008.

I haven't seen such scalawagging in the kitchen since Jack Tripper's Bistro went belly up in 1984. The quality was not bad, the execution was. The 2 foot long wooden spoon for the paella was uncalled for... do I really need an OAR to eat rice with? It looked as if the entire menu was one big substitution. If I wanted to mix and match... I would brought my Deal-A-Meal cards.

It might had been a bad night for them since it was the 4th of July weekend... so I haven't written them off yet. But they seriously need to get on the cojones.

Mas o Menos.

Asi Asi.

905 Juniper St
Atlanta, GA 30309
678-904-4584

www.cuernorestaurant.com