Sushi Avenue on the Square

When my right eye starts to twitch and my left nut starts to itch... It ain't my allergies acting up. It's just a bad sign. I walk in looking like a fucking Leprechaun doing the jig. And Riverdance ain't for another month, yo.

Sat at the bar... First thing I see is the maguro. Freshly thawed. Oh, dear. The 2 page menu looked like a crosswalk because it was so God damn pedestrian. Rolls after rolls... Makes me wanna put on Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies. But don't try to make me put on his short shorts, my one ball looks weird hanging out of them. Asked the server if they had Uni... Yes she sez. Thank you, baby Jesus. What do you order when nothing seems appetizing? Do as the Dickhaters do...

Chicken Karaage - They looked like fried chicken lips. Paper thin slices of chicken, breaded and deep fried usually ends up hard and chewy. Guess what they tasted like? Yup, like Elephant Man's goiters.

Mixed Tempura - Your standard issue of fwied up shit. Couple of skrimps and veggies. Snooze.

Sashimi & Sushi Combo - Dude, WTF is up with the long grain rice? I know sushi rice has gone up but at least Ru San's uses medium grain rice to try to trick me. How did they get the long grain rice to stick together? Who knows but that giant bottle of Elmer's glue wasn't there for the origami. Oh, the fish selection... As varied as a box of travel size Crayons. Not even gonna mention the fucking Cali-Roll...Oh, shit, I just did. Fuck.

Uni - This is what I call mushi sushi. I've seen better droppings on my car. But hey, I'll give them credit for trying.

And then there's the shitty side salad with carrot ginger dressing and miso soup. Nothing sexy about that... Except for one cute server that got miso horny.

I got outta there faster than the dude that dropped a deuce in the can that didn't flush.

Check pweez.

Pump.

Pump.

Squirt.

131 Sycamore St
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 378-0228
www.facebook.com/sushiavenuedecatur