Thai "Street Food" is the gimmick here... And the gimmick is in the form of a picture menu. You can only assume what kind of clientele they're trying to target. Doesn't Mickey Deez have a picture menu or is that my imagination?
Let's take a look into their Magic Mirror Menu...
I see Tom Kha, I see Pad Thai, I see Massaman, there's Larb Kai over there and there's Pad See Ew in the corner... Ewwwww is about right! With so many other solid options within spitting distance, I decided to get a high colonic here instead because it looked sterile and had pretty colors. Self: Are you wearing that asshat again?
Walked in, empty. Sat down, ice cold plastic. Balls, shrinkage. Ambiance, Hoth System. Menu, so many pretty pictures. Food, Baffling.
What kind of tea you got? The green kind. Glass teapot looked like a water bong. Didn't know if I should smoke it or drink it.
Tom Kha - Hmmm, this doesn't look like the bowl in the picture. It looked like a bowl of whale semen with orange spooge all over it. Fuck it, just don't chew... Swallow. Almost gagged. Dribbled all over my chins.
Panang Chicken Curry - Do you know what Thai Hot is? You want Thai Hot? Ok, no problem. Yeah, you sound real convincing, you lil gash. Shit comes out looking like a clay landscape model. It must be modeled after their rice paddy back home. How cute! With one fell swoop of my spork, I turned their hut into kindling like a monsoon. If this was Thai Hot, then so is my mom. It was so pedestrian to the point that I wanted to look underneath the plate to see how many minutes in the microwave.
Pad Thai - It looked purty good but tasted like a hamster vomit. Shit was so bland that it took the juice of about 3 whole limes to garnish any flavor. Meh.If I ever come back here, it will be with T-Pain and we'll be ordering the "I'm on a Thai Boat" noodle soup.... I'll eat a mermaid, muthafukka.
Splash.
2 Stars.
5495 Jimmy Carter Blvd
Norcross, GA 30093
(770) 409-9219
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