It was a pretty decent crowd in this newly opened East Lake resto or bar... As they would like to call it. I can almost guarantee that no one here belongs to the Dollar Shave Club... But a couple of ladies in here might be. It was total goddamn hipster heaven, where bushy facial hair and body ink was a prerequisite for entry... Including the girls. And what's with the outdoorsy/lumberjack outfits... We all know they don't own an axe, let alone have ever used one because that means they have to kill trees. There's a bar side and a dining room side with the kitchen sandwiched between them. The bar is pretty long and can accommodate a good bit of yupsters... Yeah, that's what I'm calling them, part yuppy part hipster... Because we all know there are no true hipsters anymore... They have been reduced to a "gullible, target market who consumes cool, rather than creating it." But anyways, I'm curious about this local joint, the menu and the cocktailing abilities. I don't think they expected a crowd this large so early into their game and they were unprepared for all the gullible target market group that wanted to consume the cool new thing before it becomes trendy. Luckily, I'm not cool and being that I'm obeast, I will never be admitted into that club, ever. I'm just here for the food, really... Speaking of which, I need to medicate immediately to tune out the lumbersexuals ridiculous conversations about the environment, herbal teas, essential oils, vintage vinyls, Lululemon yoga pants and knitting shitty mittens and hats for the Georgia "winter". Jesus fuck, someone get me a drink right now or shoot me...
Old Fashioned. Fucking took long enough... I was drowning in a sea of yarn talk. This OF wasn't half bad for someone who just started today... Keep 'em coming, woman.
Negroni. I couldn't decide if I wanted a corpse reviver #2 or a negroni... Since, I haven't had a negroni in awhile, it was in order. It was alright, a little light on the O4W gin and Campari but drinkable.
So, I'm perusing the bar menu and ask for the dinner menu, bartender says the dinner menu is not offered at the bar... What? Come again? Squirt... What was that again? We don't allow the dinner menu at the bar. WTF, yo. That is the stupidest and most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Now, I get why they call it a "Restaurant or Bar"... You have to pick one or the other, you can't have it both ways here. Do you like to not make money? Is this a local business or a big corporate business that you can afford to lose ticket orders per the many seats at the bar? All I really wanted from the dinner menu was the Clams & Mussels in a bourbon-chili-bacon broth with fries... That's it, just one fucking thing. But they are adamant about not serving you the goods at the bar. Ok, I'll bite and just do the bar menu since it looked like there were a number of tasty morsels to be had...
Garlicky White Bean Dip with veggies. A nice portion of bean dip but the ratio of veggies to dip was kinda scarce. Unless you're digging up a huge load of dip on the tip of the carrots like a seasoned porn star, then you're gonna have a lot of dip left... Their advice, order bread on the side. Ah, so that's how they're making up the no dinner menu policy at the bar... Suckering you in to ordering scraps to finish off the dish that you expected to come completed in the first place. I ain't buying a car here, I want the dip app to come with enough dipping tools to finish the job. The dip was good but it was ultra light and fluffy.. I like it a bit more dense and toothy but not hummus like. The veggies were nice but you gotta give more of it with this dip.
Salmon Tartare with bag of chips. The salmon tartare was bland and tasted like it was extruded through a pasta machine. I guess the thinking here is that you're gonna put the salmon on the salty chips and that will season it when you eat it together. Yeah, no, that didn't work out as expected.
Sweet Potato Biscuits, sorghum butter, country ham. This looks like my 7 year old nephew made this in his Easy Bake oven... The ham looked like edible Shrinky Dinks. I'm so fucking tired of sorghum this and sorghum that but the butter was actually pretty tasty on the mini biscuits... And I mean mini. I have seen squirrel nuts bigger than these. The ham was chewy and salty but the tiny biscuits were pretty good lathered up with that butter.
Bacon, honey, peanuts on a stick. WTF are these? They look like the candy bars that have insects in them... Ooooo, I hope mine has a scorpion in it and the other a cricket. Too bad these two tiny half bites of roach bacon were awful... Dried out and the crushed peanuts did nothing except fall off them when you try to pick it up. The sweet sauce coating was too thin to hold the crushed nuts onto the bacon tic tacs. Skip these and wiped them from your brain.
Hot-Smoked Trout with buttermilk, pickled red onions, bread. It looked pretty decent until you assemble it and put it in your mouth... Nothing like dry on dry in your facehole. I need lube in that hole. The trout was flaky and smoked nicely but was it brined in buttermilk or a salt/sugar brine? Because there was no evidence of buttermilk anywhere. You put it on the barely fire kissed bread and you chew it and chew some more. Swallowing this bite was like a cartoon with that animated big gulp action and you see the adam's apple move... It really was like that, cartoonish. I'm not in love with this even though the trout was nice.
Chicken Wings, garlic parmesan. There's two choices- buffalo or garlic parm. I wanted to get buffalo because that's my thing, sorta like muscle memory... But I also know that buffalo wings on any menu in this one horse town pretty much sucks ass. It's never spicy enough.. So, I went with the garlic parm... And it was really tasty. It's coated very well and it's really finger licking good. They were pretty damn tasty... I would get them again but I might get suckered into the buffalo just because I'm like a cat... Curious. But y'all know what happens to the curious pussy... It hurls buffalo fur balls.
Bar Menu. It's interesting and reads well but execution and portion size are more misses than hits. But it's early yet... They got all the time to change things around until the money runs out. I like the place but I don't like how they won't serve you the dinner menu on the bar side and vice versa... That is not the ideal way to run a local joint. Accommodation is everything for a small biz starting out... Fuck, I really wanted to try that clam & mussels in a bourbon-chili-bacon broth with fries... Sounds so goddamn good. But with the bar menu's average execution, who knows how that bowl of bi-valves woulda been. I can understand not offering the bar menu on the dining room side but not offering the main menu on the bar side just doesn't make sense... A lot of people like to eat at the bar, it ain't taboo no more. Shit, I eat 95% of my meals at the bar... You just get better service because they feel bad for the pathetic losers alone at the bar. Plus, you don't look like a schmuck eating Han Solo in the dining room. But I usually bring a blow up doll of Greedo to keep me company... I like the conversations... Like who shot first.
I think the place will be a nice and successful addition to this hood, once they get their shit together and routine down, I think they will make the necessary changes that will make both bar and dining room patrons happy. If they take that fucking clams and mussels off the menu before I get a chance to try it (in the dining room, snooze), I'm gonna lose my shit.
2371 Hosea L Williams Dr SE
Atlanta, GA 30317
http://www.poorhendrix.com/home/
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