Ever since P'cheen closed up shop, this location has become a curse of sorts... Last Word had good press because of the owner's history of success from the Woodfire Grill. But it had major growing pains right from the start, there was too much turnover in the front and back of the house, it just couldn't find an identity within the surrounding community... It came to be known more for a pop-up venue which helped local cooks spring board into other ventures from the publicity they received. I liked the place a lot even though I have never really had the food because the kitchen was such a shit show and nothing ever showed up at my table... But the cocktail program was very respectable. I have had very decently executed drinks many a times there. Sadly, the cursed location had the last word for that place.
But now comes another concept that is toned down a bit more and they're trying to get the feel for the neighborhood but the flux of outlanders jamming into the over commercialized Inman Park area isn't helping define the community. The Inman Quarter retail strip has become such a shit show with OTPers trying to be hip and jiggy with it. It's actually doing a disservice to the area that the locals have created over a long time... It's like a mini-Buckhead now, all you have to do is look at the people loitering around there in their Buckhead army outfits. But luckily, this new joint is not within walking distance of those BMW drivers.
On a recent weekend visit, the place was quiet but not dead... It felt cold and lifeless inside. I had to move from the back table they put me at near the bathrooms because of the intense cleaning liquid aroma that smelled like embalming fluid... I thought I was in a morgue. The front booth was no better with the narrow space between the table and back of the booth... I'm fat and I could barely slide my fat ass into the booth, imagine someone bigger than me trying to squeeze in there... All I can envision is Ms. Piggy putting on a pair of yoga pants, please don't bend over... I'll even pay for your food. Speaking of food... The menu looked like a good start for the initial opening... Let's see what will stay and what will be 86'd. The more I read into the menu the more I was like "meh"... Only a few dishes stood out enough for me to be interesting to test out...
Gotta start the festivities with some brown juice and oyster stout... An industry standard practice. The staff might want to brush up on their liquor inventory since they're so proud to say that they have been working in the industry for so long... Don't be a fool and tell me you have something when in fact you don't even carry it. But what do I know, y'all are long time industrial professionals. Just sayin', yo. But I got my black and brown, so, I'm good for now.
Duck Confit Gaufrettes, pickled onion cream, cherry mostarda, duck skin. The word confit always sounds so fancy and Fronch, but in reality... It's basically cooking meat in it's own body fat. This shredded duck confit looked so sad and dry... It must have cried all night and ran out of tears for moisture. The gaufrettes were thin and bit soggy... I mean shit, if you're really gonna give me four fucking chips, at least make them thicker like Chick-fil-A's waffle fries and make me feel like I'm getting my money's worth, even though, at the same time I know I have been had. I wouldn't even serve these hors d'oeuvres at a frat party... Maybe perhaps at a sorority and try my luck with one of the babes rushing... Hey, I still have 2 roofies left from college, they don't expire right? Don't hate.
King Trumpet and Oyster Mushrooms, sherry, balsamic, chili bread crumbs, egg yolk. This dish looked like a piece of art... Real Alinea type of shit. But once you start dissecting it and tasting it... Nothing really came together as a single composed dish. Don't get me wrong, the mushrooms were great but that's all you will take away from this dish... The accoutrements were just tasteless plate filler. Why the fuck would anyone spend $11 for a few slices of shrooms...
Sweet Potato, leek, apple, mustard greens in warm mushroom broth with pumpkin seed oil. Another very artsy fartsy contemporary style dish... Yeah, great, I saw how that first one came out. It's all a gamble from this point. There is barely any broth in there, serious, how difficult is it to make shroom broth... I understand that you don't want to cover up all the goodies underneath the dark broth but shit, bro, a lil mo' broth ain't gonna kill ya. But this hybrid soup/veggie/fruit bowl was not too shabby... It was tasted pretty good as an experiment. But it ain't good enough to get it again. It's cute, though, I'll give you that.
Cider Brined Pork Ribs, cabbage, white sauce. What a lovely piece of manmeat staring me right in da face. My facehole is getting wet... My facial orifice is getting all lubed up in anticipation of this hunky piece of meat... Do I, should I, take it in whole or shall I tease it and swallow it a little bit at a time... I'm a southern belle, so I'm dainty like, I will put this meat in my mouth like a lady... One morsel at a time. So, I start cutting this gently because it looked tender enough to cut with a fork but then the cutting became a sawing motion, then to a violent hacking movement. This shit was tougher and more leathery than Danny Trejo's face. Jesus, it even looks like him if you squint your eyes from afar. What a gorgeous piece of rib but what they did to it was a crime. They shoulda just pressure cooked it and then finish it off on the grill or in a salamander. I'm still having nightmares of this tough and chewy specimen... And it reminds of a Star Wars joke...
I love this joke! Now, only if this rib can fly the Millennium Falcon...
Seven Ounce Patty, bacon, Tillamook cheddar on chili cornmeal bread, "burger salad". I was going back and forth on this or the monkfish or the shrimps and cold noodles.... I saw the monkfish at another table and it was chunks on a plate, wtf, yo. I didn't see the shrimps and cold noods but for $12 I guarantee you that I can find this Asian inspired dish on Buford Hwy for $6 and it would be spectacular... So, I guess it's the burger then. This entire concoction was all gimmick... The cornmeal bread is like the southern counterpart of a ramen bun. The "burger salad" is prolly the dumbest idea on the entire menu because no server can explain what it was to any customer. It was basically a sloppy ratatouille. But let's just get to the good part... The burger. Asked for mid-rare like usual...
First try... Well done. Well, not well done as in a good job but way overcooked into a gray matter patty. I was over it, just left it on the side uneaten and waited for the server to take it away. She's like, is there something wrong with it... I'm like, I have seen hockey pucks with more blood on it. This was so overcooked, I woulda tossed it into the woods if I was at a backyard BBQ but I was stuck... In this narrow ass bench, that all I can do was push it off to the side. I was over it and I didn't really want to make a stink about it but the server was adamant about having the kitchen redo it because one of the line cooks was new. The server did done well there...
Second try... Spot on. Now, that's what I'm looking for... Blood oozing from the patty like a puck to Gretzy's face. I wouldn't eat Wayne's face between a cornmeal bun but I would eat the shit outta his daughter's meat flaps between her buns... That skank is hot as balls. What was I talking about before? Oh, yeah... The burger, I got off track there for a second. The burger was nice, seasoned well, juicy and tasted good... But I could forgo the gimmicky cornmeal bun, why waste your time making this silly thing. A really nice potato or a King's Hawaiian bun woulda done the trick. This dish was tasty but just stop with the gimmicks already.
I don't know if I like this place or not yet, it doesn't feel neighborhoody just yet... I like that another small business owner opened up shop in this corner location but they got some work to do still. I would tweak the menu a bit and dispense with the trendy food gimmicks, a neighhood joint is about getting solid food, solid execution and a good value, consistently. The booze station is acceptable for now, nothing really stood out for me on the cocktail menu or drinks. They got the right location, now, they just need to make that connection with the community. I won't be rushing back anytime soon but I wouldn't stop anybody from checking them out either.
701-5 Highland Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30312
http://castironatl.com/
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