Like with hookers, I'm not even gonna get that involved with this place... It looked good on the outside and the inside looked acceptable but once you sit down, it's basically all down hill from there. Sat at the upstairs bar because the downstairs bar was packed with local creastures... How did I know they were locals? Three words: acid washed jeans. I'm not just talking about the pants, they had matching leather fringed jackets and the big hair, too. The 80's just called, they want Alyssa Milano's wardrobe from Who's the Boss back. So, I'm at the bar and the entire bar is sticky, the menu had to be peeled off and the pages were stuck together like some teenager's heavily used beat off material. Then I look around and the floors were all filthy... I'm like what the fuck am I doing here? Oh, yeah, the lady at the front desk recommended this joint. Whatever, I'm at a bar and there's whiskey, beer and more booze... I got a shot of Bookers and a pint of their house brewed beer... And the world is alright again... Until the food started arriving. Now, I'm back to a world of shit with a disgusting fatbody like private Pyle. Ok ok, I'm being a douche, the place is located on prime real estate and has a great view of the water and the Bridge of Lions... It can't be that bad. Let's nosh, shall we...
Lobster Bisque, rich and creamy with a hint of sherry. Looked decent enough... Until you put a spoonful of it in your mouth. It was just god awful, tasted like it was made weeks ago and lumpy... And the lumps weren't lobster, it was clumps of flour. The creme fraiche or whatever the jizz of white stuff was didn't not blend into the bisque after a quick stir. The hint of Sherry was prolly the loogie she spat into the cup before it came out of the kitchen. Sent this shit back and they never took it off the bill as promised. Just give me another shot of Bookers.
Fisherman's Platter, crispy, breaded seafood platter with seasonal fresh fish, shrimp, calamari and hush puppies served over house fries with A1A tartar and marinara sauces. What a cornucopia of old frozen sea roaches...
Ragtime Shrimp Appetizer, shrimp dipped in our own ale-infused batter, tossed in flaked coconut and
deep fried. Served with honey mustard sauce. The name of the dish goes perfectly with the raggedy presentation of plain old coconut shrimp. Why don't you just call it coconut shrimp? You ain't fooling anyone with that ridiculous name. These shrimp tasted like they had 5 years worth of freezer burn on them. Look at the tails, they looked like they were stored in the tailpipe of the Apollo 13 during re-enter. The honey mustard sauce tasted like left overs from the Apollo 11 mission. You would think being on the water and being a seafood centric resto that the seafood would be somewhat fresher than the Gorton's Fisherman.
So, after the seafood debacle, I have resorted to cheekan wings at a seafood joint. When I thought my pathetic life have been brewing at the bottom of the barrel for the last 4 decades, it has just reached a new low. Surprisingly, these naked wings from the back of a Sysco truck were light years ahead of the seafood found in the waters across the street. I'm just joshing, their seafood was also from the back of a Sysco truck, an unrefrigerated truck. The wings were medium sized and plump... Weren't half bad until you got to the hot sauce... There's a reason why I always get the sauce on the side. It tasted like the Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce mixed with Taco Bell's hot sauce.
This place was special... Real special. Like a class of gifted young simple Jacks. The food sucked ass big time but the bartender was the saving grace, he gave me triple pours of whiskey all night. That washed away the memories of the shitty grub... Well, not really but it helped me write this stupid ass post. Don't let the location and appearance fool ya... Skip this place at all costs.
1 King St #101
St Augustine, FL 32084
http://www.a1aaleworks.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment