This really cool joint is hidden in the corner of the Wedge building that includes art studios and a brewery. No one would know where the fuck it was if it wasn't for the Wedge Brewery. The place looks like it belongs closer to the downtown area with all the money they put into the inside of this joint. The only reason why I went into this place was the half-off raw bar specials of oysters and clams... Yes, I said motherfucking clams. Not many places offer clams on the half let alone be it half off, there's just too much work involved. Must admit they also had a lobster roll that I can't fucking resist... If a place had a lob roll made up of Play-Doh, I would not only order it, I would play with it first and then eat it. Fucking suckered again for this beast... Let's go take a look shall we.
Shift Drink. An industry favorite... A tallboy and a shot of whiskey. Look at the size of that shot, it's almost as big as the tallboy. Both for $7, you can't beat that with a stick... Unless that stick was a Slim Jim which would be a wonderful accompaniment with this spread. The Narragansett beer from RI is reportedly "Made on Honor Sold on Merit" but it still tastes like cheap swill that only the NE is famous for... Hold on, but that's where the shot of well whiskey comes into play. Both are not really that good but if you use the old standing rule of mathematics based on the Dr. Bruce Banner's theory of tipple relativity that a negative times a negative results in a positive... It's all common core to me but it's kinda like the 5 second rule... And it worked itself out just fine.
Oysters and Clams. This spread was a good deal at half off... Both the clams and oyster shells were exceptionally well cleaned which reminded me of the attention to details at Kimball House. The clams were surprisingly very fresh tasting, cold, decent salinity, and perfect texture and chew from a fresh clam. The oysters were beautiful as well, an assortment that included Fanny Bay which were plump, briny and a sweet finish. Can't really complain about this layout, it was good and I shoulda done more of them. I'm such a dumbass, someone kick me in the applesack.
Lobster Roll, shrimp crackers. I asked before I ordered but what does that friggin matter anyways... When it comes to lobster rolls, I am dumb as an applesack. My brain turns into mash and my head nods involuntarily when asked if I would like to try one. The lobster filler was dressed a little thicker than I would like but it wasn't a deal breaker... Not until I taste it first. The
brioche bun was lightly buttered and toasted which was acceptable but it really should be goldenly toasted. They also put some chili sauce on it, it wasn't overwhelming but there's hints of it. The thick chunky pieces of claw, knuckle, tail meat mixture were pleasing to the eyes but not very practical to the mouth. You don't want to be chewing and chewing big hunks of lobster, it should kinda melt in your mouth with little effort so that my tiny brain can concentrate on the sweetness and hints of the sea in each delicate piece of that dirty bottom feeding scavenger. It was a pretty decent lobster roll but it wasn't crave-worthy enough because it didn't bring me back to my childhood memories of eating a true and proper lob roll. To duplicate that sensual and arousing memory requires a warm and gentle hand with a
very particular set of skills. Skills that have been acquired over a very long career. Skills that makes dreams come true for people like me. This wasn't it but it was a good effort. The prawn chips were kinda a letdown also, use the colorful ones for crying out loud, give it contrast.
Pork Rinds, salt, vinegar. This was on the "sides" menu... This heaping bowl was enough to feed 6 people. They were pretty fucking awesome, came out crackling hot and was still popping 10 minzies later... That's how you do a spot on made to order pork rinds. What a fucking bargain... And dericious, too.
This place was pleasantly surprising given their location next to a bunch of fucking buzzed up hipsters cashing in on cheap brewery swill... and feeding from a Kimchi food truck. I didn't try the Wedge Brewery beer because the line was too long and the tiny bar area was dark, dingy and smelled like ripen hippies. This place on the other hand was all class... Because I'm all class. Wait, I fat fingered that last word... It's crass.
Squirt.
37 Paynes Way
Asheville, NC 28801
http://www.thebullandbeggar.com/#home-1-section
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