The Admiral

This place looks like a total dump... And I'm digging it already. This space feels more like an underground cockfighting arena than a resto with it's location right next to a shitty garage/used tire shop. The inside is like Clermont Lounge meets Moe's Tavern... And I love it. It's dimly lit with a nice long bar, a bunch of booths line the wall with a few stand alone tables in the middle and a really shitty ass tiny kitchen layout that is basically in the dining room (that can't be up to code, bro)... It's an ultra old school hip and trendy worn out diner from the 50's. I'm liking this place more and more... Does that make me a hipster? Fuck no, I'm too fat to fit into skinny jeans and I don't have enough hair to use cum as hair gel. But I will eat the shit outta some tasty vittles they're slinging out of the kitchen. This menu is really respectable... There's a lot going on here from the pretty ordinary to the adventurous. When I say ordinary here, it doesn't mean it's crap, it just means that it's safe for all the boring whities that want to seem cool but can't eat with the big boys... And I mean big plump husky boys. I wanted to order everything here but I have a long list of other places to eat after this... Blah blah blah, no one cares, just get on with it so da pouch can give it's one reader the scoop on the best places in this one horse town...

Excellent menu, I can see the pouch ordering and eating almost everything on here.

Foie Gras, Nutella, pickled cherries, brioche. Talk about skid mark central... It looks like Mr. Hanky slid into 2nd base for a bit of that trim. Even the brioche was cut into triangular pieces of trim. This was brown on brown S&M. Jesus, why do I want to just muff dive my fat face into that chocolaty snatch... Oh, behave, there's other people around and they're starting to talk about the fat kid in the room. Of course, the perfectly seared foie gras was dericious with the Nutella, just remember to slice it thin so that you can get a bit of everything on that brioche trim... It's a pretty tight V formation so careful not to overload it... Or just say fuck it and lick the damn plate. 

Fried Smelts, chili powder, cilantro, lemon aioli. Smelt gets a bad rap... Whoever smelt it dealt it. Fuck yeah, bro, it's all me... Along with that plate of dericious crunchy fried fishlings. I wish they would give you more because smelt is cheap as fuck, it's a trash fish... Anyone who orders them obviously loves them, so don't be chintzy.

Beet Carpaccio, spicy micro greens, smoked honey, almonds, pecorino. It's a nice presentation but it's quite deceiving... It's not a lot of morsels on there. They're pretty thinly sliced and fanned out to give you that optical illusion that it's a hefty dish. It's a good tasting dish but damn, yo, you can be a little more generous than that. Beets are cheap as fuck, yo, we know this plate had a food cost of maybe 80 cents.

Sweetbread Fettuccini, housemade pasta, artichokes, parmesan, sesame seed. Why didn't I think of this dish... I have dumped almost every other offal with noodles and they all work. Including this one which was really really good. Ultra rich and savory and the pan jus may look thin but mix all that shit up together and it glazes the pasta ribbons nicely and lubes your throat just enough to slide down that noodle with ease like a pro. Good shit.

Oxtail Ragu, rigatoni, ricotta salata, pesto, nuts. Oxtail prices keep going higher and higher... Stop this insanity. I don't know a single person that goes and buys oxtails to make shit at home except me. This dish was another winner. The colors were rich and decadent, along with savory... You just want to take a bite and keep that tail meat in your mouth and not even chew it, the oxtail ragu will chew it for you. Even though rigatoni is such a blah pasta overall but in this dish it worked out pretty well with the yum yums getting all up in that pasta's hole and all over it's business... Then it proceeds to go in my face hole which got me all hot and bothered. This dish ain't rock science, it's simple but packs a shitload of flavors in there. Real good shit.

I love this place, the ambiance fucking rocks, the tiny open kitchen is mysteriously putting out incredible dishes (even though some are a bit chintzy on the portion)- I don't know how the fuck two cooks can do that so consistently. They got their shit down, they don't even have to talk to each other.
The whole set says alternative hipster west Asheville cool, they ain't down with the mainstream hipsters, fuck that noise, just good cocktails and good food with playful ingredients. I would come back definitely.

400 Haywood Rd
Asheville, NC 28806
http://theadmiralnc.com/