Biscuit Head

Talk about fucking hipster central... Why do these smelly tech friendly iHippies fucking love biscuits so much? These bearded, iPad air hugging, Osh Kosh overalls, wide framed spectacle wearing, Swiss chard humping don't know the first thing about farming but they do know a good biscuit when they see one. If you don't get your fat ass here early before them city dwelling nature rascals wake up, you'll be standing on line around the corner. Luckily, I actually work for a living and get up super fucking early like a robot and there were just a medium crowd here.
Ordered me a couple samplers and a trendy hipster bra-less yoga cameltoe pants wearing chick with aspirations of being a famous quilt, scarf, mittens and hat knitter made only from the finest freshly sheared wool of a free range sheep brought out my two plates of biscuits within a few minzies... See, millennials are useful in this capitalistic society after all... Which they despise, naturally, except for all the money they make from the customers' generous tips. Let's see what my hard earned cash will reward me from this joint.  

Mimosa Fried Chicken, sweet potato butter, sriracha slaw, poached egg. Shit, they should just call this Cheekan Head. It's literally a mound of crap in a Confederate civil war era mess kit bowl/plate combo thinger. I have no clue what kinda of metal it was made from but it coulda been on a roof at some point in it's manifestation. This creasture was a thing of beauty, to a portly person such as myself. The poached egg was spot on bright and runny, just let it ooze down all over the face of this beast like an amateur's casting call because you are not going to be eating this with your hands like a sando. The biscuit was a little bit more hefty than most other flakier and moistly soft biscuits... It has to be because it needs to stand up to the punishment of all the shit on there. The biscuit was good, the boneless fwied cheekan was good, but the sriracha slaw was just ok, it was so damn wet it made it look like the chicken shat on itself knowing it's end was coming soon when the pouch walked in. Shit was pretty good, though, I liked it.

Gravy Flight, sweet potato coconut, pork sausage, espresso red eye. They give you like 1.5 biscuits which is more than enough since they are pretty large biscuits. You can pick 3 different gravies/sauces. The best of the three was the sweet potato coconut because it was curried. There's something about dipping carby shit in spiced tinged sauces that soothes the pouch. The other two were good also just not as flavorful. 

No matter who you are or how you smell, you will prolly like this joint unless you're one of those GF inbred weirdos who just mysteriously came up with your own custom condition... But wait, they do have GF shit as well because these nouvo hipsters will never turn away the almighty buck... Along with a kale and pine nut dust smoothie made with dwarf lamb organic milk. Don't forget to goto town on their assortment of honeys and jams ripe for the pickin'... They prolly made it from their own sweat glands, smegma and fromunda. Sustainable substance and also good for wiping on fellow varsity football players and lubricating door hinges.

733 Haywood Rd.
Asheville, NC 28806
http://www.biscuitheads.com/