Hello-Weenie Pouch

This can't be normal but the rumors are true... This haunting black beast of the night does make your shit glow nuclear green with a blue-ish halo around it. Not only is this a real treat, it also has a trick. So, of course this dauntless fat fuck had to investigate and experiment.

What is this dark underlord creasture you speak of? Well, the pouch presents to you... The BK A1 Halloween Whopper. No one knows what this slop is made up of but for my one fan, I will put the pouch to the test and see what the fuss is all about with this spooky holiday offering from Burger King. I have not eaten at a BK for years... There's no reason to. Until now. This is like a triple dog dare that's gone really really wrong... And my goddamn cute ass rat dog was the one daring me to do it. Why am I listening to a fucking dog? Obey my dog! What the fuck is wrong with me... Shut up, don't say it. I already know I'm a ra-tard.

Look at this dark Sith lord of the underworld... It is scary as shit. No wonder everyone is shitting their pants. It's pretty much a given that the bun is not made with squid ink... But A1 sauce is supposedly baked into the bun, none was detected. For about $5 and 710 calories per burger... This is gonna be one helluva amazing experiment and a terrible tragedy for my bowels. Look at that pic... It's making me gag already. My turd is already running scared shitless green without even taking the first bite. You have to treat this like a band-aid... Just fucking tear it off. I cut this bitch in half to expose the innards and to make it go down easier. I took the first bite... It was not awful. If you closed your eyeballs, it would taste the same as a regular Whopper. It ain't mind blowing, I think it's more of the visual that makes people's brain squirt out extra sensory receptor juice to mind fuck with ya. Let's face it, most crackers have a hard time eating anything black except Kim Kardashian... Eating things like squid ink pasta, 1000 year old egg and Sweet Hut's black pig bun is too adventurous for 98% of the whitie population. So, it's a big gamble for BK to even introduce this black burger to the masses. The burger is gimmicky as fuck and it will get people to dare each other to try it at least once... Well, maybe only the dumb people with yours truly included. I think BK kept the "trick" a secret and waited for social media to spill the green beans on the side effect which is giving them a ton of media coverage without even spending a dime.

It won't kill ya to eat this once just to be part of the green shit clic... But once is more than enough for a lifetime.... Well, until they come up with a St. Paddy's Day burger. That would be fucking awesome, green beer shits... Now, only if they can make a drink that make you piss rainbows. That fucking leprechaun still has my gold at the end.