My one fan may be wondering what the fuck is wrong with the pouch lately... It's not eating it's fair share for 4 people. Well, the pouch has been eating in secret like a fat chick at home. It has been boozing more than eating because the scene has become tiresome this week... But the meaty muffin top still needs to eat... Don't y'all wanna see what it has been slurping down it's oral gash? Let's go back and take a look at a couple of oldies but goodies...
Kimball House.
Caviar Service, UGA Sturgeon. Even though, I have had this a couple times before, it still baffles the mind that UGA is farming and harvesting fish balls in upstate GA. The caviar service is pretty fancy pants by Decatur's standards. It is also pretty damn tasty as well. For $85, this is not too bad of a deal if your friend wants to splurge... Who the fuck am I to say, no dude, don't do it. If you wanna get laid, get this... Unless the broad is some hipster vegan millennial hairy armpit weirdo, then just get her a side of okra and some fungus from outside. She will still bang you and lick on your fishy balls.
Fork in the Road.
Fried Chicken. Haven't been back in a bit and I was craving a good fwied cheekan, so this joint made the most logical sense. This 6 piece dark leg/thigh combo meal is fucking unreal for $7.99. The chicken is made to order and takes about 20 minzies and it's totally worth the wait every time. The crust is ultra crispy and medium thickness but it comes off easily and seasoned very well. The meat is juicy and flavorful. It's easily one of the best fried cheekans in town.
Crab Cakes, sweet creamed cornbread. Who woulda thunk that a southern diner joint would even make a halfway decent crab cake... At $11.99 there is no way it would be that good. It's usually upwards of $20 for a single tiny crab cake a la carte with no sides. Then this shit came out... Two giant crabby patties seared golden brown. C'mon, there's no fucking way there's crab inside those cakes the size of a Fiat's wheels... It's prolly made up of soylent something or other. Wait, I take that shit back, they were loaded with crab meat, a mix of minced and lump meat. Am I fucking dreaming? This was pretty damn good for where it was and what I paid for. How can this be... Have I been missing out on these crabs all this time? This joint can give me mouth crabs anytime. The sweet creamed cornbread is one of their best sides.
Clam Strip Platter. I fucking miss HoJo's... For anyone who doesn't know what the fuck that is, it's a great restaurant from the old days called Howard Johnson's. The also rent out rooms after you have a food coma. They had some of the best frozen clam strips in the nation during the 70's and 80's. When I saw that they had a clam strip dinner here, I was so excited I tinkled a few drops in my underpants. I vowed to come back one day and order this to relive my childhood gourmet dish. For $6.99, the medium platter is more than enough. Look at the size of that portion. These frozen deep fried strips did not disappoint, they are not as crusty as HoJo's but they were just as good and brought back the wonderful childhood memories I had when I wasn't getting a beat down. This is old slutty grub at it's finest. Notice how there's broccoli on the side to balance out the fried shit... Not that I ate it all.
All this pouch stuffing has renewed interest in consuming mass volumes again... The bottomless pouch is back baybee! Stay tuned for more crap that the pouch will be stuffing into it's garbage mouth... Or not. Like anyone will even notice... That's why I write these stupid posts in my underpants.
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