Cheekan Bits

The pouch has been getting back on his regular feed schedule lately...Let's go take a look at what goodies were had before the peeping turtle comes out in about 3 hours.

Popeyes. Fried Chicken Lips lurv fried chicken livers...There are very few locations that does this specialty item. I finally stopped into the Roswell location which had a big sign out front for months trying to lure me in with their plump crispy livers... I'm glad I did because they were really tasty. It's offered as a combo so you get a dwink, bizkit and side... Which their cajun rice was calling for the pouch. I don't know why they don't do this at every location because these would be competition to Colonnade's kick ass fwied cheekan livahs.


International Cafe.
I think we all (me and my one reader) can agree that anyone who post rave reviews for the "German" food in Helen, upstate Georgia, are not food critics... Let alone people who go out much. The only thing this gimmicky town is good for is the beer and chick watching. But since we (me and the pouch) took a nice fall ride up for their Oktoberfest, we might as well get some eats in... I hope I don't shit my pants instantly... That would not be a pleasant ride back. Squoosh.

Reuben. "We're famous for our Reubens." ...Famous fucking last words. Yeah, and I'm famous for my girlish figure. The only thing German about this NY Jewish deli tradition is the kraut. Which is kinda amusing to think why Germans here would even think about eating this sandwich, let alone claim it for themselves. I just hope they don't bake it in an oven. This version was absolute garbage. I don't even know if that bread was even Jewish rye or someone wiped their ass with it and tried to pass it off as one. It tasted like a fucking Arby's sando. Where's the horsey sauce? The fucking tourists at every table loved it, though.

Bratwurst. They claim they're German here, so this has got to be their specialty... Sadly, their Jewish food is better than their German flesh tubes... This was wurst than the Reuben. Don't you just love the square piece of single serve Swiss cheese draped over the entire wiener shitzel and tossed under a heat lamp to soften? That must be an old school French technique... To cover up the tube of mystery meat so you don't have to see the cancer causing human DNA logs being ingested into your bowels. I tell you what, I ate like 2 bites of this logness monster and I had the Hershey squirts within 2 minzies... Macht Schnell! That poor toilet, it felt like Lemmiwinks was lighting off M-80s with the candle on his head in my bowels... That fucking inglorious basterd. Oh, Mistor Slave, behave!