Monday, February 27, 2017

Smoke + Duck Sauce

I was always curious about this new Asian BBQ joint that opened in the Cobb area but there was no fucking way anyone would drive up to bumblefuck upstate Atlanta for unsubstantiated Asian Que (Yelp doesn't count, when did they ever?)... Unless it was Heirloom. So, I distracted the pouch's attention to the newly revived Best BBQ dim sum for a couple weeks and if that didn't work... I would over medicated the pouch with a generous application of Popeyes before they go dark under the new Burger King's regime... Well, we're all hoping for the best with Popeyes or else it will be a sad day in the pouch history books. But we didn't have to wait too long for this joint to quietly open up a second location in the newly renovated Suburban Plaza... And I think I'm OK with this here, for now. But let's not get ahead of the marsupial pouch just yet... There's much work to do before any belly rubbing and gas passing can be had. Let's take a quick peek at what this joint is all about.
The inside is pretty straight forward, order at the counter, grab a number, wait for them to bring the food out to your table with a self serve beverage station... One funny thing I noticed was that they had a bunch of slutty duck sauce packets next to the bev machine, isn't it kinda insulting to ply your customers with fake packets of duck sauce when half the name of your joint is Duck Sauce and you brag about the housemade duck sauce? Hmmm... But the decor inside is a bit hard and cold, not a very comfy place to eat in, it's not as awful as a prison cell but it needs a little softening up, a little pussification is in order. And I wished you could smell a bit more of the smoke in the place to get your nasal juices flowing... After all, the other half of this place is called Smoke. I'm sure the health code called for a monster ventilation system in here for the "BBQ". Y'all know what, we don't even know if it's real BBQ or not, right? Just because they say it's BBQ doesn't mean it's the real deal, we all know Ruby Tuesday's baby back ribs isn't real BBQ, just like Fat Matt's slop. Now, I'm kinda making meself a bit skeered... Oh, stop being a fucking pink pussy, pouch... Just dew it! Would you like to wear a pink knit hat while you eat just in case your balls get chilly and get sucked up into the abyss like a baby turtle? Jesus, take that bone-in manmeat in your facehole like a man! 

Smoked chicken wings with teriyaki bbq. The menu says 6 wings but only 3 shows up... Say, is this some type of Common Core math question? I'm guessing they're accounting that each wing has a drum and a flat... Shit, if I'm using that methodology, I would say it's 9 wings... With that count, it includes that retarded hairy wing end nub, because science! I don't know, $6 for 3 relatively smallish wings isn't exactly tickling my freshly manscaped sack. I asked for teriyaki bbq but they gave me the spicy hot pepper sauce, instead... But they were quick to remedy that. The wings were pretty smokey and they flash fried it after smoking it to give it that extra crunch. It's not a bad wing, it's been smoked pretty decently with pink spots in the flesh but it was kinda dry overall even after drowning them in all the sauces. Wings are such a great scam... You can charge whatever the fuck you want and suckaz like the pouch will get it at least once. There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Atlanta, probably in Tennessee... That says, feed me gruel once, shame on... shame on you. Feed me gruel, you can't get grueled again. Or something like that, hillbillies are so full of wisdom, grace, toothless... Striking. I would skip these and put the money towards something else.

Smoked brisket platter with house pickles, fried rice, toasted bread with house duck sauce and spicy hot pepper. Hmmm, it looks kinda generic. I don't like how you only get to pick one meat, they should really do a single, double or combination option. Samplers are the way to go but I didn't ask about paying up on another meat on the platter because I didn't want to fuck up and jinx their routine in the kitchen. Brisket would be my first choice anyways. The meat portion looked decent... Heavy bark, moist, some visual pink ring and smokey. The toasted bread was a dinner roll straight from the bag... I guess you can make a fried rice brisket slider with it. The fried rice is your standard hole in the wall Chino slop. The 1.5 slices of house pickles were pretty lame. Back to the brisket, I flipped over the piece with the dark bark and half of it was gelatinous fat. I love how the kitchen tries to trick you by impressing you with the bark and hope that you will forget about the giant lobe of fat on the other side. The pieces that were edible were not bad at all, tender, moist, smokey, savory. Mix it in with the slutty rice and it's the perfect hangover grub. The tamarind duck sauce was sweet as expect but with a hint of heat from the chili flakes. The spicy hot pepper sauce was less potent than the Sriracha on the table. Overall, it wasn't a total mess but it ain't gonna blow you away, either. It's elevated pedestrian fast casual.

Smoked brisket lima beans and grilled corn chili seasoning. The platter comes with 2 sides and they're pretty boring... The lima beans and corn sounded the best even though I wanted the mac n cheez first until I saw it on another table, not that it looked bad but I didn't want more carbs and fat. This will be the closes that the pouch will get to be a vegan. The brisket lima beans was pretty good, a bit water but the flavor was all there, tighten up the juice a bit and it would be really good. The half of a corn cobb was ok, nothing spectacular, just some chili seasoning sprinkled on one small spot... Jesus, how chintzy can you be, not that chili seasoning is so expensive. 


I didn't love this initial visit... But it wasn't a total write off, either. There were some decent bites but not enough to justify another visit so soon. Let them work out what they need to work out and I'll be back for another try some day. Definitely will try the rack of ribs next time. But for the time being, if y'all need to satisfy your curiousity like the pouch, then by all means go ahead and do it... It ain't gonna hurt my feelings but don't say I didn't warn ya, my loyal one reader.

2633 N Decatur Rd, Decatur, GA 30033
http://www.smokeandducksauce.com/

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That brisket platter looks like the steaming coil bill paxton deposited into his hospital bed a nanosecond after he shuffled off this mortal coil

Anonymous said...

wow. Isn't it a bit soon for that comment Anonymous?