Himalayan Spice

I have not been in this dump in many many moons... The last visit here was an epic fail. The Nepalese grub was god awful... The worst momo I have ever tasted. It was like eating a dried up castrated monkey ball sack filled with slimy maggots... They kept asking me, "What, you don't like rice? Tell me pouch, how could 29 million Nepalese people be wrong? How are those maggots? Maggots, pouch. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?" ...And with that last bite, I have sworn this place off for years until now... I got bamboozled into coming here by a friend who knows nothing about Nepalese and Indian cuisine except that he was here once and they had some ridiculous drink specials that night... And those little words just pushed my button. Shit, anything with cheap booze pushes my buttons. So, I dragged ass back to this place and it was dead as dead, a couple of mooks at the back table looking suspect almost made me go out to my car and grab my back up heat just in case a .45 cal wasn't enough and some homely looking tourists at another table pretending to be adventurous eating ethnic cuisine on Clairmont and Briarcliff... Yeah, people will believe that story, Kathmandoofus.
So, even before looking at the menu again... I asked the server if there were any drink specials. She was like there's the cocktail list... And it was the worst fucking cocktail list of nasty ass spring break concoctions I have ever seen, they were straight from the 80's with drink specials from the Double Deuce. I asked her if she knew how to make an Old Fashioned... No, was the answer. How about a simple Manhattan? No, again. This Laurel and Hardy shit went on for at least 6 different cocktails... I then tried a different tactic, how much would it be if I switched out one booze for another on the "list" and she said, "same price"... I just fucking fell in love with this dump all over again. Well, just for the booze... So, she walked me over to the bar and I basically told her how to make an Old Fashioned with some top shelf party liquor for the same low price. Then I spotted a bot of Macallan 12... How much for that? That's right, "Same motherfucking price."...Now, we're cooking with fire! Since, we got the important biznaz outta da way, let's get down and dirty on this filthy ass grubbery... The pouch is going all in on Indian tonight, bitches... But first, some party liquors are in order.

Samosa. These fat little fried turds were pretty much standard issue in taste and seasoning, the green and tamarind chutneys were not too shabby to dip your nuggets in. These things are as pedestrian as eggrolls in a Chino joint... But somehow you just gotta got them for some fucked up unconscious level shit.

Chicken 65. The skimpy portion looked like every server ate a piece of it on the way out to the table. They looked decent but they were a bit dried out and the spice/flavor factor could go up a few notches. They were just ok, even the lemon didn't help add much overall.

Himalayan Spice Special Biryani. Look at that fucking presentation... It's almost as bad as the bowl cut I had as a little satchel when I came out of mama pouch. Seriously, what kitchen with a restaurant license plates rice as if it were a bowl of Jell-O. I hope there's fucking booze in there. But actually, this house special biryani of cheekan, lamb and veggies was pretty darn tasty. It was pretty flavorful and the rice was cooked spot on. It may look like Lloyd Christmas' head on a plate, but shit, it tasted like Kashmir heaven in my facehole. I would have gobbled down that entire plate if I didn't order anything else.... C'mon, like the pouch would ever not order anything else.

Palak Paneer. The classic spinach mush with cheese cubes that doesn't need much explanation. The cheese cubes were toothy and held together and spinach mush was creamy enough to forego the Polident. You can gum away all night long on this dish.

Chicken Saag. Another mushy dish for the geriatric crowd... Ok, I kid, I kid... Those old farts couldn't eat this without their Super Poligrip because there's cheekan bits in there. Some were kinda tough to chew and others were tender... Go figure. I know y'all know why there's hard and soft cheekan in there but I'm just gonna leave it at that. Mix this shit up with some of that house biryani and it's a decent meal. Or spoon it over the naan and make your own custom Injun slice.

Bullet Naan. Doesn't that look dangerous and deadly to any and all oral and anal orifices... There is gonna be some black matter in the cleft between the buttocks being extruded tonight... Like a pasta machine on overtime at an Olive Garden. Shit, who am I kidding, OG ain't extruded anything since the last world war except hemorrhoids. This bullet naan was covered with red pepper flake which was kinda low rent like a franchised 'ZA joint... I was kinda expecting more of a fresh chili pepper topping, either green or red. The naan was pretty fresh and hot. Tear and pull-ability was pretty decent as with the chew. And yes, it was kinda spicy but not spicy enough to tear and pull your brown eye apart. This was borderline acceptable in taste.

Garlic Basil Naan. Doesn't look too basily, does it? That's because they fucking used some cracked out dried up basil sprinkles... Hate to break it to ya but dried spices doesn't exactly give you that aroma you expect from fresh basil leaves. I have never seen Dom DeMarco sprinkle dried basil on any of his finished Di Fara's pies fresh from the oven... He would prolly cut ya if ya did. So, don't do that shit here, brotel. Besides the low rent dried spices, this naan was pretty fresh and hot like the bullet naan. I would skip this one if there's a next time... But for now, you can just drown this shit in the palak paneer or cheekan saag.

Garlic Cilantro Naan. Ah, look, there's real green herbs on there... This was prolly the best out of the three naan breads. Simple, fresh, garlicky and green... Came out nice and hot just like the others.

Macallan 12. I had to take a picture of this because 1. it was like a 2.5 oz pour or more, and B. this shit was $7.95. I love how clueless, errr, I mean generous they are to their paying guests... Another round, pweez! Shit, just give me the rest of the bottle for $10, ok? I'll tip ya $5 on top. Sold!

Kheer, rice pudding. I don't even know why people even order dessert at places like this... You know they're not known for desserts. Well, real desserts anyways. C'mon, who really want to eat a bowl of sugary cold oatmeal at the end of a meal... Jesus, I rather drink a glass of mango lassi, instead. That fucking mango lassi.

I gotta admit, this visit was a total surprise and totally acceptable... If you stick with the Indian grub and booze. The Nepalese slop here is still giving me nightmares. Is the food worth making the trip here? Only if you're in the area, this is not a destination resto on any level... But if you just want to booze, I would drive from the west side all the way fuck over here for some cheap ass top shelf party liquors. 

2773 Clairmont Rd
Atlanta, GA 30329
http://www.himalayanspiceatlanta.com/