Fork in the Road Revisit

This dumpy joint is like finding a needle in a haystack... Or more precisely a hypodermic needle in a pile of trash. Let's face it, Northlake Mall is a total hellhole... Ok, maybe not as bad as Southlake Mall but y'all know what I mean. Shit, I pack serious heat when I consciously know that I will be in this area... They call me John Woo Wick around here but my bullet proof suits are not as fancy as Theodore 'Ted' Logan's because, you know, of the robust plumage of the pouch. I rather take on the entire Russian mob than trying to tuck in the pouch's pannus flap (aka abdominal apron) into a pair of skinny slacks... The vest will definitely be a no go. But this joint is a total go go go... I haven't been back in awhile, so let's strap on a Kimber 1911, Glock 27 and a Kahr P9 just in case if the shit goes down that does not involve fwied cheekan legs and thighs.
I have always liked this place since the first time I stepped elephant foot through the door and that fried chicken thigh into my facehole... It was like heaven, ghetto heaven. Let's see how they're doing these days...
The place still looks rundown like usual but this time there were a bunch of light bulbs out and that wasn't for the ambiance, either... Wait, less illumination might be a good thing in here. Have y'all ever looked around this place... I don't mean the decor or food on the table, I'm talking about the creastures that are sitting at the tables... Woof. Ok, the decor is really kinda low rent, too, the drop down-ish ceiling in the middle of the room has a ton of round lights that most homebuilders use in their residential builds, it fucking cracks me up on whoever designed this place, it's awful but the rednecks seem to love it. So, that's why I prefer to sit at the bar so my view of vision is limited to just staring at the beer taps. Speaking of beer, they have the cheapest fucking prices around. I know they ain't high brow craft brews or whatever the fuck bearded manbun freaks drink these days, but for a simple pint of Yeungling is like $2.50. They got decent bottled beers for like $3.50, too. But enough with the foreplay and dirty talk, let's get to the good stuff already...

Fuck Fork in the Road, they should just rename it to "Fantastic Fried Beasts and Where to Eat Them"... Look at this fantastically deep fried spread on a recent Fat Girl Night out (yes, that was singular)... And all this for under $19, I shit you not... If you mofos really want to be technical, all this added up to $18.87... I know what y'all are saying, Are you fucking shittin' me? No, broseph, no. Let's go ahead and break this beast down, shall we... Can y'all take a guess what's first on the list?

Fried Chicken. I always get the 6 piece dark because it is the best fucking deal around... Not just because of the incredible price point... But their fried chicken is one of the best in town. Yeah, it's that good... And I never doubt the pouch's instincts. The fried chicken here are made to order, yeah mofos, hecho a la medida, ese! Takes about 20 minzies or so to prepare this, so, if you know you're gonna get this, order this when you sit down. The thin crust is ultra crispy and sticks to the meat pretty well and pulls off without too much effort. The flesh is amazingly moist... Makes me wanna strap a leg behind each ear while munching on a succulent thigh. This FC is legit, for reals.

Fried Clam Strips. It's almost impossible to find a fried clam strip dinner now since all the HoJo's are now extinct except for the last one in Lake George in upstate NY. No restaurant wants to put this on their menu because they think it's so fucking low rent... Fuck them, I love this shit. It brings me back to my childhood and how difficult times were back then... The struggle is real, motherfuckers! As real as the struggle to find pants that fit the pouch. I remembered the clam strips here were good when I had them a long time ago... But I just read an article about how the last standing HoJo is being put for sale so I knew I just had to have a fried clam strip dinner to honor them... And the only place I know that serves it is here. Look at this gorgeous platter... And it was a fucking medium portion for $7.99. I said, Seven-Fucking-99... I don't know how to spell 99 so I just wrote the numbers there. But damn, these fried clam strips were better than I remembered... Imagine if I got the LARGE order, I could take a fried clam strip bath. Fuck, they were so good I couldn't stop throwing them in my blowhole like a trainer constantly feeding a dolphin... But the pouch doesn't do tricks for treats, though... I can barely get it up... Oh, wait, nevermind, not those kind of tricks. The batter/crust was crispy, light and airy and the clam strip inside was moist and had just the right amount of chew without being rubber bandy. I would totally get these again and again and relive my struggling childhood living by the river. Ok, you got me... First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a van down by the river! So what! Let's get back to the task at hand...

Tater Tots. I know what y'all are saying.. Who gives a shit about plain old tots? Everyone has had them everywhere... Sure enough, but these were ultra crispy and tasted like they were deep fried in a pre-vegan snowflake McDonald's fryer with beef flavoring in the oil. I wouldn't be surprised if they bought up all the remaining inventory of beef flavored veggie oil from Mickey Dee's. This shit was so damn tasty.

Sweet Creamed Cornbread. This is their best side dish... It is huge, it is buttery, it is supple, it is just plain glorious. I don't know how they do it but this shit is addictive... I would even cut it up with a razor blade and snort this shit pure... Not that I know what snorting yeyo is like, I just seen it on the TV. Just sayin'.

Fried Red Onion Strings. This was a special for the night... And they know just how to rope you in to getting it. They offer it as an app for $3.99 which is a steal already but in small print you can get this as a side order for $1.89. Dude, c'mon, yo, stop fucking cock teasing me... You're gonna make me cry with all the fucking onion in this side dish. Look at it, they don't fucking skimp on anything in here. No wonder I'm so fucking fat after eating here. The batter was light, thin, crispy and held onto the onion slivers perfectly to dip the shit outta them in their special "burning ranch dressing" which has a small hint of spices in there. Jesus, how can you pass on these butes for this low low price... Who fucking owns this joint...  Crazy Eddie? The prices are insane up in this piece!

This joint ain't fancy by any means, it's barely a step up from a soup kitchen... But those little things like aesthetics, decor, feng shui and filthy hobos don't mean a thing when I'm dining out... I only care about the vittles being put out from the kitchen. Coming here is such a rush, the possibility of being shot while eating some of the best fried chicken intown is a reality... But I just don't give a shit because I can die a happy pouch after stuffing it with their dericious morsels. I have tried at least half of the menu throughout my past visits and almost everything was more than acceptable with some exceptional... The fried fish sando was just ok but the philthy cheesesteak was pretty good. The fried chicken and clam strips are worth taking a bullet for... But that bullet would prolly just get stuck in my fatback. The place is basically like a local Greek diner with an extensive menu but their short order cooks are just killing it here consistently unlike many of the Greek diners around. This place is rad. 

Northlake Mall
4800 Briarcliff Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30345