Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen

I was on my way to Savannah to do the rounds in the resto scene down there yonder... Then I spotted this creasture in the middle of nowhere with the likes of Mos Eisley... Otherwise known as Warner Robins in downstate Georgia. This middle earth spaceport district must be the hotbed for every single smut chain restaurant in existence. I have never heard of this place before but... You will never find a more wretched hive of slop and gluttony. We must be cautious.

"Scratch Kitchen. Handmade Food. Exceptional Value." ...Sounds like my kinda dump. That chef is serious as cancer about producing good food and laser focused on garnishing that handmade dish. I hope he washed his hands before returning to work... Flush.

Triple Treat Sampler. Nachos, loaded potato skins, chicken tender. This was more like a triple threat dog dare to eat it... What is what on this platter? I think I see the chicken tenders in the corner, even they're scared to be on this dish... The waitress looked at me and said, "C'mon, don't be a chickenshit and just eat it." This is the most poorly prepared appetizers I think I have ever had. I had better appetizers from the microwave. That is not even nachos, they look like snotchos... As if the kitchen did a giant farmers blow on this plate. I'm still trying to figure out why this nation has an obesity problem...

Chicken Tenders. I didn't want that tainted cheekan tenders from that previous mess, so I ordered some by itself. Ok, this doesn't look that smutty. They should just call this dish, "Brown bagging it" because everything came from a brown bag... Frozen fries, frozen tenders straight from the factory. Scratch made my ass... Wait, maybe they meant they were scratching their ass while they were waiting for the ding from the fryer timer. This tasted as one would have expected, carnival style grub with the smell of overworked fryer oil.

Baby Back Ribs & Chicken Tenders, mash taters and green beans. The combinations here are endless, you can customize anything here... If you wanted those tenders swimming in the baked potato soup those mofos in the back will do it. They don't give a shit. It's kinda fun having it your way. Too bad your way is not their way... The ribs are totally premade and reheated (barely). While it was somewhat tender they were pretty much all drenched in HFCS BBQ sauce. It's like the premade ribs you get at Kroger and just reheat by boiling the entire bag. The mash taters were average.

Grilled Salmon, corn and mac. Ok, this didn't looked half bad. The salmon was in one piece, unmolested and seasoned somewhat well. It tasted like salmon, too. How can this be? Don't get your hopes up too much because the mac was absolute garbage, as if they just cooked the pasta and sprinkled the cheese packet over the macaroni straight from the box. The corn was straight from the giant commercial family size can... I saw the giant Edlund Old Reliable can opener on the end of the table in the kitchen.

Full Rack of Baby Back Ribs. Another person at the table wanted the full rack but sadly the broccoli was the best part. I have no clue what was in that bowl... I can only imagine the worst.

Homemade Chicken Pot Pie. This actually looked handmade... The pastry on top looked like a blind man putting on his toupee in front of the mirror in the dark.There were holes on one side and too much hanging off on the other side... But it was not too shabby. The cream of chicken soup mixture inside was pretty good although you guessed it, it was ultra salty.

Top Sirloin Steak & Shrimp. This may be the fanciest dish of the night... Luckily, this was my main course. The shrimp was actually grilled and I loved how they stacked them next to each other... From the skewer to the plate. That is some fancy presentation. The sirloin was cooked spot on mid rare... Fucking unbelievable! I'm so stoked right about now. Even the meat was somewhat tender, of course, there were a few hard spots. But in the end this piece of meat was totally unseasoned and the loaded baked tater was only half loaded unlike the kitchen staff, they forgot the bacon bits and butter. I guess I was just expecting way too much from this kitchen. They are totally drinking on the job.

Sweet Baby Carrots, Red Beans and Rice. The carrots were supermarket grade and not really sweet. The red beans and rice tasted like it was days old and off putting... There was a funk in there that I haven't tasted in a long long time. It reminded me of jail.

This place was almost like the Cantina on Mos Eisley, it was filled with a wretched hive of scum and villany... Not talking about the customers (ok maybe 43% of them were) but the food and servers were just filthy. One person at the table stepped on a roach before we even ordered. All I cared about was not finding one of them in my Makers Mark... Always get it neat, so you can see through it. Our server watched us eat the whole time, as if waiting for us to almost finish so she can give us the check and go home without even asking if we wanted dessert, coffee, or whatever... Not that we were going to but shit, mofo, at least offer it. Another server was sweeping the carpet with a broom right next to us and a couple other tables... Dust and roach legs were all flying up in the air all around us and the other tables acted like this was normal. I truly don't understand the hillbilly mentality... They really love dirt. As for this dump, never again. I don't think I have ever wanted to leave a resto this fast... Ok, maybe except for Red Lobster.

2915 Watson Blvd
Warner Robins, GA 31093 
478-971-1527
http://cheddars.com/