Empire State South

I've never been to Athens because I'm Asian and they hang people like me up there... But I really wanted to eat at the Five & Ten by Hugh Acheson through the years, never made it. I heard good things about his food and I'm glad he finally opened up a joint in middle of midtown. It's the fancy version of the southern meat and 3 (in this case, 2). So, I compared both menus (a couple of dishes are on both menus) and it seems like Five & Ten's menu has a bit more adventurous dishes... Like the pork cheeks and sweetbreads. I hope with time, he will put more items that you don't see on every friggin' menu around Atlanta.

The space is similar to Miller Union, you know, that cutesy, artsy and rustic style that is as cookie cutter as a kick in the cul de sac in Alpharetta. But it's totally fine and cozy. The thing that I don't get is what the fuck is up with Bocce? Who the fuck played it before all these stupid ass bars started putting in these dirt mounds? Whatever. Old people shit.

Let's get to the food, quick and dirty style (This is during Nick Melvin's 3 week reign)...

Anti Pasta - Devil eggs, tea sandwitches, fancy nuts and semi pickled veggies with some jam thingy. It's cute and all but it was just hunger pains filler. It tastes how it looks in that pic. Not thrilling but nice. $10 is not bad deal... I guess. So is a BJ in the alley on Boulevard.

Simple Fried Chicken - 2 small drums for $8... WTF?! Have you lost your mind? I can get a 9 piece box at Popeyes for $7.99... Do the math. This dish came with some corn kernels on the bottom and tomato pepper jelly that looked like it spilled on top by accident. Crust and meat were just ok. Don't waste your time on this dish.

Pork Belly - Aaah! Finally, something worth the price of admission. It's fucking pork belly, who's gonna complain? Oh, vegans and vage-heads? Screw you, eat the okra then... Duh. BTW- this was a nice composition of a dish. The corn/veg medley actually complimented the pork. Good stuff.

Short Ribs (sides: green beans and sweet potatoes) - If you claim you're a Southern resto, you better know how to do this right. And ESS delivered unlike the fwied chicken... Shit was a nice portion, fork tender and just an all around good piece of meat. The sides were passable but bland and made for pedestrians.

Pork Chops (sides: mac n cheese, eggplant) - Why on Earth would you serve two thin cuts of chops? Leave it whole, please... Because that shit was over-cooked, tough and chewy. And I asked for a little pink on the inside (which they totally disregard)... Kinda like my broads. Mac n cheez was ok, didn't give me a blood flow. The eggplant was decent but once again, the sides needed seasoning... Nothing more boring than limp dick food. C'mon, the menu ain't that complicated... Season your food at least.

Hummingbird Cake - I never even heard of this cake before but it tasted like a carrot cake, it even looks like one. I'm not a big dessert/pastry person, so, two bites just about does it for me. It was ok... Kinda like eating room temperature butter. They should serve this with bread.

It is a nice addition to midtown and the parking is easy even though you would think it would be a bitch since ATL's new street parking laws were made by a monkey. Service was good despite the fact that people were complaining about that online, glad they listened and fixed the problem. The food needs work but maybe it will get better with a to be named veteran (Ryan Smith) from Eugene and Holeman & Finch. But I still hate that fucking Bocce and everything that it stands for... Which is taking up valuable space and played by old wimmen with elbow skin faces. Who can eat looking at that shit?

Squeal squeal squeal!

3 Stars.

999 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 541-1105

www.empirestatesouth.com