The former James Joyce (Hail Mary, Avondale Arms) space is now a comic book bar/resto... What? I don't know if this concept will last long like the others but in the meantime the pouch might as well check it out. The massive
bar is too reminiscent of the previous Irish pub. Kinda tough to not think
of this joint as an Irish pub with all the wood in here and not enough comic book/toys stuff to offset that personality. The idea of this place is so kitschy and gimmicky that it seemed like they had a dream of the concept after watching a Comic Book Men marathon. The dining room area is pretty open but the comics section is spaced out larger than it needs to be unless they decide to increase their inventory. Right now it's pretty sparse, only a handful of comics. The bar is great, though, no work needed since it's been there forever... But it could use a lot more party liquors back on the wall. The bar fits a lot of people which is a good thing... Anything that gets me closer access to booze makes for a happy pouch. The beer list is pretty decent, local and non-local... But I think the local selections are the favorites here. And now, I'm sure my one reader wants the scoop on the food... The things I do for humanity. Let's take a first look on the vittles...
Cute... But you need more than just a chalk drawing of some Mario stuff... Y'all need more toys and current comics... And brown liquors.
Crunchy Black Eyed Peas, curry. They were crunchy as promised but the curry sprinkle was just ok. It didn't have much depth to it, Bacon Salt could have done a better job.
Chicken -IN- Waffles. That one little letter, "I", makes all the difference. When this came out, I was like what the fuck is this shit... They tell me the chicken is in the waffles. Dude, don't do that. EVER. Never put tiny bits of chicken in a waffle batter and think it's cute to serve this to the paying public. This was so bad, I can't think of anything to say except that I wouldn't wipe my own ass with it. The batter was way to soft and undercooked. It fell apart too easily and the tiny pieces of boiled chicken were almost non-existent. The maple syrup made sense with the waffles but the mustard seeds were baffling and useless. This was pretty awful... What were they thinking?
Fried Anchovies. I thought the waffles were bad... This took it to another level, a level that I have not been on in many many moons. The fries were room temp, hard, dried up and pretty much inedible. You know how fries that have been cooked to death have nothing inside, it's just a hollow shell... This was that. I thought it might have been one or two of them but it was every single one. Some of the worse fries I have ever had, seriously, how do you fuck up fries this bad... Then there's the anchovies. I have never seen fried anchovies like this ever in my entire measly life. It's as if they took canned anchovies soaked in oil, breaded it and deep fried it... Because that shit fell apart with the slightest touch. They tasted awful, super salty from the canned brine and then seasoned after frying for that double salt face punch. The useless fried lemon was soggy and slimy, reminded me of a used rubber. This dish even made the pouch scratch his pannus in confusion.
Flat Top Brisket Burger. I'll pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today... Better yet, how about I pay you to cook it to the proper temp today. Asked for mid-rare, mid-well comes out. This was one sad generic looking burger... What a waste of good brisket, if that was even the mix. The bun was dry and mealy and barely toasted with no butter. Just some char around the edges. The tomato slice and onion were basic but the lettuce looked like it was torn apart by a honey badger and then urinated on it... Why is it so moist? This burger reminded me of a BBQ I went to in high school and that was even better... Made by a teen aged snot nosed kid. Why would anyone pay $9 when you can cook a burger this average at home for pennies on the dollar. Skip it and just go to Checker's instead.
Salami & Butter, fennel carrot slaw. This sounded good on paper with all the buzz words like Pine Street saucisson and B&B pickles. The salami was good of course but 4 tiny quarter size slices on top of barely seasoned herb butter in a hard roll seemed like kinda of a ripoff. The roll was nice looking and had a nice shellac on it... Which after the first tough bite it seemed like it was actually shellac resin secreted by the lac bug. They forgot the pickles so it was a build your own sando when they brought it out after asking for it. The quality control in the kitchen is quite amusing when they forget one of only two ingredients in the sandwich. The fennel carrot slaw was mostly carrots and watery mayo... Publix slaw even laughs at this.
South Philly Special, "With Whiz", farro bowl. After the Salami sando, I knew I was gonna be up shit's creek without a paddle on this $12 "Philthy"... Kiss the Amoroso roll goodbye because you're gonna get some standard bagged hoagie roll and the chopped "ribeye" was heavy handed on the salt but the onions sweetened it a tad bit, not much though. And that ain't no Whiz... Some lightweight substitute with no name. No self-respecting Northerner would serve this to another human being, not even in a frat house from one bro to another high off their asses. The meat portion was borderline acceptable, the roll too thick and dense but semi soft at least and the "Whiz" was not even spread evenly throughout the entire length. The cheap "Whiz" should never be melted to this degree, almost to the point of becoming yellow snow in June. Southside Philly doesn't have much to be proud about except the philthy but if they ever served this low rent version up there, they would have nothing to brag about except their stupid accents. The farro was actually halfway decent, edible at least without having to make a face and pretend to like it when asked. For $12, this was nothing but robbery... Just like in Southside.
Shrimp Tacos. There's no way they can fuck this up... No fucking way. It's goddamn tacos for crying out loud. Even if it's totally crackerized, it should still be edible. Whoops, I spoke too soon... The corn tortillas were a plus but they didn't even grill it, it was just straight outta the packaging. And of course, there's gonna be a ton of liquid on top of it from the shrimp juice and salsa... Which the tortillas were more than happy to soak up. It was like picking up used toilet paper in a bowl that won't friggin flush. The shit just broke apart like it was shot by Boba Fett's disruptor rifle. The shrimp was ok but as a taco it was devoid of flavor and amateur at best.
You are free to use any methods necessary but I want them alive - no disintegrations! I guess Darth Vader forgot to tell the cooks in the kitchen... I have never seen tacos break apart just trying to pick it up.
Even though they have a very nice looking PR shot of the food on their website, it's pretty obvious the back of the house staff have zero cooking experience... I mean this is probably the worst menu I have ever witnessed where literally almost everything sampled was executed less than half-assed. The entire menu needs to be 86'd and a brand new menu needs to be redeveloped... By a chef or a Waffle House short order cook. Shit, Waffle House would make a killing inside this joint with their menu... And they won't even try to hide chicken bits in the waffles. A new or old resto should never have people who have never cooked professionally learn as they go, it's bad for business when the first impression may be your last.
The place could have promise because it would be a nice hangout for groups to come by for drinks and a bite after a game of frisbee golf , flag football or kickball, whatever white people like to do together. They have the space for it indoors and out... I do like the Star Wars cornholer. I hope they can turn the kitchen around because this is their major weak spot, it sucks for the bartenders and servers to have to pick up the slack while the customers suffers as well with no show food orders. The comic book side is a cute idea but do you really think it's a sustainable feature for the long term? Just get rid of it because running a comic shop is a full time job. Just put more arcade games in there... I know I would go back for some old school arcade games and pinball machines. Let's hope the management with Leon's and Brick Store experience can break the curse of this space and correct their mistakes before they share the same fate before them. Good luck.
22 N Avondale Rd
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
404-292-4607
http://myparentsbasement.squarespace.com/
3 comments:
As a long time stalker, that food ranks somewhere in the top three of nastiness.
Such kind words, i would like for you to meet everyone in the kitchen and also tell me all your secrets to running a comic book store from your years in the business.
This is not Yelp. Not here to kiss anyone's ass just because they opened a place... Maybe a bit of the truth will help jump start the focus on the major weakness here because this place could be really good. It's sandwiches for fuck sake, not even real cooking. If you think the food is the best as it could be, then continue doing that. But when I see 2 customers at the bar waiting over an hour for a sandwich that never showed, they both paid for their drinks and left disappointed. I can nitpick everything wrong here but that's not what you want to hear, you already know what's wrong with the flow and daily operation. Try watching every staff member operate for an hour, there is no urgency to attend to customers. There is no secret in running an efficient kitchen or a comic book store. Do one or the other. I like the place but the operation needs work, why is it always obvious to everyone except the owners. Good luck and I hope I don't have to say I told you so.
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