Nashville Pouch

The pouch was craving some real hot chicken and decided to hit road and get the fuck outta dodge from the lack of decent grub lately. Nashville is the only place to score some original hot cheekan, so I guess that's where the pouch will be heading... And maybe hit a few other eats on the way.

B&C BBQ, Melrose.
I heard good things about this small BBQ chain (B&C = Bacon & Caviar). I hit up the Melrose location which is pretty small. There were a bunch of stuff in steam trays... Oh, shit, flags are going up already. Fuck it, it can't be that bad... Maybe.

Smoked and Fried Wings, dry. For $1 a piece, they better be good... And they were. Real good. Great smokey flavor with a crackling skin. Get them dry and try out all their sauces on the side. The Sweet Heat and Hot are the best for these wings.

Fried Pickles. The Bread & Butter pickles made no real difference than a regular fried pickle but they were crispy and tasty. They are battered and fried to order, you can see the fry basket marks on them.

Brisket, Pulled Pork, Mac n Cheez and Garlic Cheese Grits. The shells in the mac were great capturing the oozy gooey cheese, a very tasty version. The garlic cheese grits were really tasty as well. That's like 2 for 2, fuck, something has to give... Haven't tried the BBQ yet. The semi-sliced brisket were tender and flavorful. A decent bark and smokey smell minus the smoke ring, could be a bit more moist but it was a very nice brisket, overall. The pulled pork was tender as well but didn't have enough flavors and smells. It would be fine inside a sando since no one would really notice between slices of bread. The sauces were pretty good overall, sweet heat, hot and zydeco were the standouts. Not a bad BBQ joint, I would come back here if I needed a quick fix.


Loveless Cafe.

The infamous tourist trap for biscuits and country ham and all things overpriced. The pouch had to investigate this mini Disneyland for hillbillies.

Country hospitality.

The biscuits and preserves. While the biscuits were tasty, they didn't give me a blood flow. They were kinda small and looked a tad undercooked. I guess they have to make them small for the volume and cooking time. But they do give you a shitload of them. There is no problem getting a second helping without even asking, they just appear on the table. Just plan ahead before ordering your main breakfast or supper. You can fill up real fast with these little fuckers. The blackberry preserve was the best, the strawberry and peach were ok. Don't forget to ask them for a little sorghum honey. There is also a giant bowl of butter packets on the table, not that you will need them with the amount of butter in there already.

Live action biscuit love making.

Southern Sampler Breakfast, country ham, bacon, sausage, two eggs, grits. This was a good way to sample the porky goodness. Their infamous country ham was salty as fuck, I mean real salty. It would be good chopped up in a good fried rice or a musubi. The sausage patties were kinda dried out but the bacon was nice and crispy. The scramble eggs were scrambled eggs. The grits were creamy and smooth. I didn't know what the white gravy was for in this platter... I guess country folk use gravy for anything and everything.

Country Fried Steak and Eggs, hashbrown casserole. I get the white gravy here in this breakfast plate. Gotta have it for the country fried streak... Which was one of the best country fried steaks I have had. It was huge, crispy and tenderized perfectly. The batter was really nice, held together nicely and had a wonderful crunch. The tenderized meat inside was soft and meaty at the same time. The white gravy was smooth, velvety and flavorful which means it's bad for you. The hashbrown casserole was basically baked shredded tater and cheese. Pretty tasty but it's really just a filler... And there were a ton of filler in here. There was no lack of the statistically speaking obese population in this place. Fat people love this place and for good reason. It's salty, fatty, filling and the tables were spaced out generously. They know their demographics...


Prince's Hot Chicken.

The last time I stopped by it was closed so I went to Hattie B's instead which was also very good.

This time they were opened and packed already when they opened at 2PM. Their hours are so fucking baffling, they open when they feel like it. The menu hasn't changed much and the prices are still pretty reasonable. The amount of whities in here made me do a double take if I was in the right place... It was almost blinding by the amount pale white legs and flesh in here. Every single cracker ordered a plain or mild breast white meat piece. I'm like, c'mon, dudebros, don't be that useless piece of white bread underneath your plain fried chicken, that slice of bread is there for a reason. 

XXX HOT Leg Quarter. This simple leg order took almost one fucking hour to get. They were so backed up with all the crackers' white meat breast orders. The lady at the window asked me if I was sure I wanted XXX HOT... I rolled my eyes back like a great white and made a sigh. She said, oh, you have been here before. That's right, auntie, I have been here a few times before and the XXX Hot is the only way to go. I remember the XXX Hot was oilier and brighter red in the past, this version was dryer. The crust/skin was crunchy as usual and the heat was there but not as potent as I remembered it last. The cayenne seasoning penetrated the crust and into the flesh nicely, it's seasoned very well but it wasn't hot enough for me on this visit. Don't get me wrong, it's still a very kickass hot cheekan and for $5, I would get this at least twice a week if it was in Atlanta.

The purpose of the slice of white bread... To soak up all that XXX yum yums. Who woulda thought eating a plain old slice of white bread could be this exciting...

Pinewood Social.

This was one of my favorite spots in this town for great drinks and very decent grubbery... That is until the college kids took over this place. There were hundreds of these lightweight kids in here, half of them were wasted and barely could stand up... Fucking amateurs. Jesus, what I would give to be back in college, the talent here were like shooting fish in a barrel. Squirt. I don't know how these college kids can afford this place, it ain't exactly cheap... Oh, wait, daddy's plastic is free.

So, I had to get a drink, at least one drink since I'm here. The 42nd Parallel was a very good drink. Took off after that and headed to White Castles for a midnight snack...


White Castle.

The only proper way to finish off the night, two White Castle gut bombs after a night of heavy boozing... Awesome. Why is there no White Castle in Atlanta... Why do they make me suffer with Krystal's shitty hack burgers.

I like this town, the resto/bar scene have been getting better and better every year... I will go to more places next time and report back to my one reader.

Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken

If there's chicken to be had, the pouch is gonna be there... So, Hard Rock Cafe had one of their last bike nights of the summer. What perfect timing to get up front free parking for bikers and the chance to sample the much talked about Gus's fwied cheekan. The joint is located on the bottom level near Benihana's (I didn't even know they had this dump down here). Gus's took a pretty spacious spot, there's a good bit of tables and a counter bar here (no alcohol yet). The kitchen is bright, real bright and spacious. Looks like they were anticipating or hoping to do high volume here with all the deep fryers they got back there. It seems like lunch service would be their busiest shift with all the offices around here and dinner service a lot slower since no one sticks around after work. They may get some tourists or conventioneers but those people usually stick with the franchises, it's safe. Enough talk, more chew, time to see if the pouch approves...

The tiny sign... But they have a bigger one from the street side.

It ain't that cheap... Let's hope they are worth it.

3 Piece Dark w/ beans and slaw. The 3 piece dark comes with 2 thighs and a leg but I had them switch out a thigh for the whole wing to get the full range. First observation, they are small pieces of yard bird, I mean real small. It's like a cornish hen. The beans and slaw are pretty standard issue, nothing worth noting, just filler. The slice of white bread doesn't do much here for a regular fried cheekan, but if it was a hot cheekan then that's another story... There's a purpose for that, to soak up all the hot cayenne oil. Which brings me to...

I took a small bite and there is not a hint of any spiciness. The server did say it would be like a 6... And I said, 6 on a scale of 100? So, I Jerry-rigged up my own hot chicken with the Crystal hot sauce packets (I think I used like 10 packets). That sauce ain't hot by any means, they're like a weak Tabasco, but anything is more spicy than the chicken alone. Ok, let's get to the shit... The crust is thin, ultra crispy and has a really nice color, possibly due to the small pieces and quicker cooking time. This tasted more of a dry batter to me but some say it's wet... A wet batter could produce this thin crust but it would have to be applied thinly to the piece which may be why it wasn't spicy. But whatever technique they used, it was a very good crust except that it wasn't spicy whatsoever. The meat is real juicy as well. The Crystal hot sauce gave a little kick in heat but it could only do so much, at least the slice of bread now has a purpose. This is a pretty damn good chicken except that they're so small and 3 pieces isn't enough to consider it a meal, it's really just a $10 snack. 

I think they will do fine here even if it's in Peachtree Center. The lunch service will more than make up for the dinner service since no one ever sticks around downtown after work. It's also kinda tough for the locals because of the terrible parking situation, no one wants to pay X amount of dollars just to pick up a semi-pricey fried chicken. Is it worth it? Yes and no. Yes because of that awesome thin crackly crust and juicy meat that are made to order. No because the dark pieces are really small (even the breast was small but who really gets white meat) and for basically $2.75 a piece (dark) this might be more of a treat every once in awhile than a weekly craving like Popeyes easy in and out. I don't know if the small pieces of chicken are organic free range shit or not but does it really matter after it's been deep fried to hell... If they get bigger pieces than I would come back more often. World famous? Prolly not but I would consider this one of the better fried chicken in town.

231 W Peachtree St NE #05
Atlanta, GA
404-996-2837
http://gusfriedchicken.com/ 

Rice Mac

Sometimes, you just get the itch for some full retard Americanized Chino slop... Well, most of the time it's because you're really drunk or hungover and that shit is like medicine in the middle of the night. Or you're just a poor college student looking to fill yer belly and don't give a shit what it taste like... Well, I got the perfect fobby place for you. The new Rice Mac (I Love Rice) recently opened in the old Pita House space that once catered to the student population that inhabited this area. Pita House was pretty much garbage overall but they had a following, prolly because it was pretty cheap and filling. So, what do you do to lure the same demographics... Open another cheap and filling spot. Fusion Chino grub is always the way to go... But Rice Mac ain't just another dumpy hole in the wall take-out joint, it's actually pretty nice inside from the tiles to the Edison light bulbs. The menu is pretty straight forward on all the classic fusion hits. Let's take a sneak peek and sample some vittles.

Kimchi Fried Chicken, seasoned in lightly spiced kimchi base. Too bad there was zero kimchi seasoning. The batter to chicken ratio was like 30:1... It was too puffy with tiny morsels of cheekan inside... Wait, did they get this ideal from the chickens in waffles at My Parents' Basement? Students, save your $5.50 and put it towards something else on the menu.

Lo Mein. The classic Americanized noodle dish that's right up there with Chop Suey (whatever the fuck that is). This dish is heavy and will fill your fat ass up in one sitting. It's not as greasy as I expected which made the noodles go down easier without the guilt. Could use a little more veggies but they do give you a shitload of chicken.

Kung Pao Chicken. George likes his cheekan spicy... Too bad it was as spicy as a can of Mountain Dew. The veggie mix was actually pretty good and fresh. The peanuts had just the right texture, blanched just a bit to soften it up. It could be a lot spicier but they do give you a shitload of chicken.

Singapore Noodles. No char siu pork in sight... At least they used the right mei fun for this dish which made me happy but there wasn't enough curry powder, bell peppers and onions to balance it out. You can forget about finding any chili peppers, peas, fish sauce or cilantro in there. I opted for the chicken instead of the shrimp because I have been on a cheekan kick lately. Shit, when am I not on a cheekan kick. This was like all the other dishes sampled which tasted as expected... But they do give you a shitload of chicken.

Sesame Chicken. The infamous cousin to the General Tso's cheekan. The factory battered nuggets were as expected, bready and small chicken pieces inside. The HFCS sauce was spot on with it's sweetness and cloying factor. The silly piece of broccoli and sesame seeds finished off this dish. This is your perfect Gwai-lo'd version of the sesame cheekan. After a few bites, this got real tiresome real quick. All in moderation with this dish... But they do give you a shitload of frozen deep fried cheekan nuggets.

Spring Rolls. Your standard issue veggie rolls but they were hot and crispy at least.

Wonton, Hot & Sour Soup. Oh, man these were so bad... It's just so full of processed ingredients that were flavorless and so bad for you... Unless you're still fucked up from the night before or this morning. The hot & sour was neither hot or sour... Just warm and neutral. The wonton dough was thick and the sawdust like filler sparse... Just like every wonton soup found in all the hole in the wall Chino joints, where do they source these wontons? I gotta know! It really is an ancient Chinese secret.

Mushroom, Miso Soup.  And I thought the other two were bad... The shroom soup was just instant broth with thin slices of real mushrooms at least, it looks like a beef broth but tasted like nothing, not even MSG. The miso soup was also instant which you can tell right away from the funky finish. It's perfectly fine to make the instant stuff in your dorm room but one would expect a little better here, wait, nevermind. The soups come with the entrees so there's really nothing you can do about that,  maybe they can sub it out for another crispy spring roll, instead.

They're good eggs here... But this isn't Asian food, this is fusion filler food. You do get a full meal at a decent price which is great for students and drunks alike. They are providing an essential service to the community. What that exactly is I have no fucking clue but I do like how clean the place is and watching them cook every dish to order. No one is expecting rainbows and unicorns here but it's affordable and it will definitely fill you up if you're in the mood for some sloppy gloppy fusion grub. Stick with the main dishes where they actually have to use real meat and cook it, the frozen nugget stuff is pretty much junk. I don't know if I would be back anytime soon but I wouldn't say no to it if I was out drinking heavily the night before... Like my dumb ass would know or taste the difference in that state. My daddy always said, Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son... But hey, at least they do give you a shitload of chicken.

2050 N Decatur Rd
Decatur, GA 30033
404-963-1266
http://www.ricemacs.com/

Hindu Chino Medieval Pouch

There is no rhyme or reason why the pouch eats the way it does... If it's drunk, it may want Chino. If it's drunk and in the mood for curry, it may want Indian buffet. If it's drunk and waving a sword around, it may want to LARP. Luckily, for my one fan, the pouch will give you all three in one post! This blog is so stupid, I am such a retard, why am I going all the way to north bumblefuck Medieval Times to eat a half roasted chicken with my bare hands... Wait, that's not stupid, it's gonna be fucking epic... With booze involved of course.

Calcutta Palate.
Pretty newish on the Indian scene, but it was dead as a fucking door nail during a recent weekend lunch buffet. At this rate this joint will go down the shitter like most of the food I had here. The location is not awful but it's set back behind the Buford Hwy Farmers Market away from the needed traffic.

They spread out each tray very thinly like there's a lot of food there. It's about half inch thick and half the trays were kinda dried out.

The tandoori chicken had good color but it was dry as sawdust. The goat/lamb stew was ok, mostly just bones but the tiny scraps of meat I found were tender.

The best thing was the saffron basmati rice even though it was bland as a hamster's nutsack.

Naan. Very mediocre. Barely warmed through, no color on the bottom, tough on the pull. It's almost like they were store bought and reheated. They would be good for doggy diapers, though.

The garbage plate. Sampled almost everything and everything were pretty tasteless. I would not come back here unless they change out the chef. By then it may be too late for this dump. Thank god, I had a few cocktails before I came here and many more afterwards.


Hong Kong Harbor.
When I'm drunk, I get lazy... And being lazy, I find myself here more often than any other dump. This place has been around forever, the dim sum is hit or miss, usually more misses than hits (ask them to make them to order, let the whities eat the shit off the carts) but some of their main dishes really nails it.

Beef Belly Wonton Noodle Soup. This is one of the best dishes here. It's like 7 or 8 bucks for a big bowl of comfy homey satisfying noodle soup. Big chunks of ultra tender braised beef, tendon, belly along with delicate shrimp/pork wontons, wonton noodles and gai lan. The broth is complex, rich, flavorful and soothing. I love this dish in any season... But usually best eaten when drunk.

Sour Mustard with Fried Tofu. This is another dish off the meny that is another fav. They make the best sour mustard in town and you can pair it with tofu, pork, beef, chicken, squid, shrimp... Shit, they will put anything in there for you, just gotta ask for it.

Sausage Bun and Shrimp Cheong Fun. The bun was too dense and dry, no moisture, even the sausage inside was kinda dry. Imagine fucking this thing? KY, pweez. The shrimp cheong fun looked ok but it wasn't steamed long enough and the rice wrapper was still too dense and the shit fell apart trying to pick it up.

Har Gao and Fun Guo. The har gao were just ok but the skin was a bit over steamed, kinda just broke apart with the first bite. Fun guo filling was totally bland, how does that happen with pork bits inside.

Tripe and Meatballs. Tripe was decent but it was cold from sitting on the cart for so long since no round eye would ever eat this. The meatballs were acceptable, once again barely luke warm. Doing dim sum here is a gamble, sometimes it's halfway decent and sometimes it's not even worth mentioning.


Medieval Times.
Holy fucking Grail... Look at this spectacle. This place is like the Disneyland of live action role playing pimple faced dorks. Good, I will fit right in. The place is huge and they have a bar.

This is prolly the stupiest fucking thing ever... But it is also the best fucking thing ever. The cheesiness of this spectacle never ends like a Nacho cheese machine. But the dude with falcon flying around the place was pretty cool. I wanted to ask him what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow... That little fucker would look better battered and deep fried and going down my belly.

"Bill of Fare". This is the most ridiculous menu I have ever seen. I have had better food in coach on a flight to Florida. Thank goodness, I had the grail to partake boozy substances from this goblet during this crusade.

Tomato Bisque, warm baked bread. The plate and bowl kinda scares me, they look like they're made of lead. I guess it can't be worse than the bill of fare being served. It's almost like being in prison. The tomato bisque is served from a plastic pitcher which is better than from a wooden bucket and ladle served by a hunchback. The bisque is so watery and obviously army issued MRE. The bread is so factory frozen Texas toast grade.

Roasted African or European swallow? It also came with a corn on the cob and half a roasted potato that was basically thrown on your plate... Speaking on which- These "Made in China" plates could really be made of lead and I'm eating off of it. Maybe I shouldn't lick the plate. For a high volume mass joint, this roasted chicken wasn't half bad. The seasoned skin was crispy at spots and the meat was really moist and tender. Was it a dream? I thought this shit would be sitting under a heat lamp for hours. 

Pastry of the Castle. This was totally from Sysco. Flaky pastry is subjective. The baby food fruit-esque filling was obviously machine piped. This is the type grub that will give you gas. Where is diaper when you need one... I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! This place is a trip, the food isn't good but the entertainment has it's moments.

Revival

Well, the wait is over for the pouch's one reader on it's take on the new southern vittles by the red bearded beast of the popular dim sum house known as Gunshow. I'm not a big fan of Gunshow because everything that came out wasn't really Chinese food... I was bamboozled, I'm still baffled why they call it dim sum. I guess it's the same thing with the chicken in waffles at My Parents' Basement, anything the fuck goes to make it sound cooler than it is...
So, the old Harbor House Pub has been given an interior make over for Revival's future survival into the southern grub arena. One woulda thought they were gonna do a meat and three style concept but they decided to do a la carte with the option to upgrade to family style which I think it's a bit of a ripoff (it's like $45 per person or something outrageous like that for an entree and trimmings). They want to make you feel like you're having supper at his Gam-Gam's house if you choose the family style dinner. I rather just get a few cocktails and sample some of the grub, you just don't need to eat everything in one visit even though the menu is kinda limited. Alrighty then, let's see how much shit the pouch can stuff in it's fat facehole a la carte style.

Cornbread. A different take on the classic cornbread found everywhere else which was nice to see. It almost reminded me of a hand held french toast when it came out... That's because I'm a retard and think like one when it comes to food. This was a pretty tasty skillet cornbread... I don't know if you really need anymore butter on this because that cornbread was like 48% butter already. 

Hickory Smoked Local Greens, Fatback Fried Silver Queen Corn, Revival Mac n Cheese. The sides looked more interesting than the mains. This trio would be a good sampling on what they can do with the sides. The local greens were smoky which was nice but needed a bit more seasoning, it just tasted like soggy smoke. The corn was too pureed for me, it needed more texture because the silver queen has pretty good size kernels which I was expecting... It was more creamed style which I guess that's what they were aiming for since it's a la Gam-Gam style or is that Gum-Gum for the dentally challenged. The mac was pretty decent, smaller twisty pasta versus the common corkscrew mac everyone else uses. The cheese was thicker and less gooey which was acceptable but it coulda been browned a little more on top. The line cook making the mac looked like he was about to go postal any minute, like his father didn't give him enough love as a child... Spooning the mac n cheez mixture aimlessly into the ramekin like how an inmate cook slop the gruel on your tray at a prison cafeteria. It was quite amusing... Let it go, pal, your father can't hurt you anymore.

Wood Grilled Georgia Quail. My mind is always in the gutter so y'all know what I'm going to say before I even say it... These two dirty birds need to stop eating each other out, there's children in here. I have seen 70's porn cleaner than this. For a dish like this, I wouldn't use a flat plate, instead use a shallow bowl/dish thinger to keep all the sauce in one spot. This is just ugly plating, the brown juice swashing all over the place like they had the Hershey's squirts... Shit, it's almost like two birds and one plate. That's a porn I would watch. The quail is more tender than I thought it would be. It's seasoned well maybe a tad too salty for the more refined palate but shit, mofo, this is southern grub it's suppose to be salty, greasy and bad for you. For $18, I don't know if two little solo quails on a plate will do the trick as an entree... Those fuckers on Naked and Afraid would go apeshit over this on day 13, though.  But I wouldn't get this again...Even on day 20.

Revival Fried Chicken. I lurv fried cheekan but I heard it was just so-so in the beginning, that's the main reason why I waited until now to come here. Hoping the chicken got worked out for the better... Shit, 3 pieces for $13, mofo better be good. Maybe I should have waited longer to come here after it was put in front of my snout... It came out with a thick hard dark crust, no way Gam-Gam would be able to bite into this. The mix seemed to have a little tempura style in there based on the pattern the batter fried up. It's more a wet than dry batter. The crust is dark, too dark, almost knocking on burnt's door... Also, real salty. The brine is salty enough, so you don't need to season the the batter or the chicken after it comes out of the fryer. This was a borderline acceptable fried chicken (definitely not on any top 10 list as it stands) but when you tack on that $13 price tag, it makes it real difficult for me to order it again when I know how much incredible Popeyes I can get for that same amount. With limited entree selections to choose from on this menu, this fried chicken needs to be way better than it is now since it's really the star of the show. At this point I would not recommend this fwied cheekan... Even with hot sauce.

I'm happy that someone opened something in this dead space (Revival, get it? har har), it makes Decatur an even more of a destination town to hangout for food and drinks... But southern grub is dime a dozen in this town and you really have to do something special to edge out the competition. Especially, with the name behind this place... People expect more. It seems like the side options are better than the limited entrees. I sampled the chocolate cake which was a hefty slice but it was kinda dry and fell flat after a couple of bites. The cocktails (toasted old fashioned was a fav) are respectable but that's only half of the equation. Southern food isn't rocket science, but you have to make it look visually appealing as well as the taste of it. This joint could be a lot better, no, it needs to be a lot better... So, hopefully a newer version 2.0 of the menu in the future will tickle the pouch a lot more than it does now with the pretty mediocre offerings I have sampled so far... Especially, the fried chicken. Anyone who thinks this is the best they can do is only kidding themselves or just buying into the hype. Hero worship can only trick your palate for so long. I expect more if I'm going to pay more... So does everyone else with taste. There's just too many other options.  

129 Church St.
Decatur, GA 30030
470-225-6770
http://www.revivaldecatur.com/  

My Parents' Basement

The former James Joyce (Hail Mary, Avondale Arms) space is now a comic book bar/resto... What? I don't know if this concept will last long like the others but in the meantime the pouch might as well check it out. The massive bar is too reminiscent of the previous Irish pub. Kinda tough to not think of this joint as an Irish pub with all the wood in here and not enough comic book/toys stuff to offset that personality. The idea of this place is so kitschy and gimmicky that it seemed like they had a dream of the concept after watching a Comic Book Men marathon. The dining room area is pretty open but the comics section is spaced out larger than it needs to be unless they decide to increase their inventory. Right now it's pretty sparse, only a handful of comics. The bar is great, though, no work needed since it's been there forever... But it could use a lot more party liquors back on the wall. The bar fits a lot of people which is a good thing... Anything that gets me closer access to booze makes for a happy pouch. The beer list is pretty decent, local and non-local... But I think the local selections are the favorites here. And now, I'm sure my one reader wants the scoop on the food... The things I do for humanity. Let's take a first look on the vittles... 

Cute... But you need more than just a chalk drawing of some Mario stuff... Y'all need more toys and current comics... And brown liquors.

Crunchy Black Eyed Peas, curry. They were crunchy as promised but the curry sprinkle was just ok. It didn't have much depth to it, Bacon Salt could have done a better job.

Chicken -IN- Waffles. That one little letter, "I", makes all the difference. When this came out, I was like what the fuck is this shit... They tell me the chicken is in the waffles. Dude, don't do that. EVER. Never put tiny bits of chicken in a waffle batter and think it's cute to serve this to the paying public. This was so bad, I can't think of anything to say except that I wouldn't wipe my own ass with it. The batter was way to soft and undercooked. It fell apart too easily and the tiny pieces of boiled chicken were almost non-existent. The maple syrup made sense with the waffles but the mustard seeds were baffling and useless. This was pretty awful... What were they thinking?

Fried Anchovies. I thought the waffles were bad... This took it to another level, a level that I have not been on in many many moons. The fries were room temp, hard, dried up and pretty much inedible. You know how fries that have been cooked to death have nothing inside, it's just a hollow shell... This was that. I thought it might have been one or two of them but it was every single one. Some of the worse fries I have ever had, seriously, how do you fuck up fries this bad... Then there's the anchovies. I have never seen fried anchovies like this ever in my entire measly life. It's as if they took canned anchovies soaked in oil, breaded it and deep fried it... Because that shit fell apart with the slightest touch. They tasted awful, super salty from the canned brine and then seasoned after frying for that double salt face punch. The useless fried lemon was soggy and slimy, reminded me of a used rubber. This dish even made the pouch scratch his pannus in confusion.

Flat Top Brisket Burger. I'll pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today... Better yet, how about I pay you to cook it to the proper temp today. Asked for mid-rare, mid-well comes out. This was one sad generic looking burger... What a waste of good brisket, if that was even the mix. The bun was dry and mealy and barely toasted with no butter. Just some char around the edges. The tomato slice and onion were basic but the lettuce looked like it was torn apart by a honey badger and then urinated on it... Why is it so moist? This burger reminded me of a BBQ I went to in high school and that was even better... Made by a teen aged snot nosed kid. Why would anyone pay $9 when you can cook a burger this average at home for pennies on the dollar. Skip it and just go to Checker's instead.

Salami & Butter, fennel carrot slaw. This sounded good on paper with all the buzz words like Pine Street saucisson and B&B pickles. The salami was good of course but 4 tiny quarter size slices on top of barely seasoned herb butter in a hard roll seemed like kinda of a ripoff. The roll was nice looking and had a nice shellac on it... Which after the first tough bite it seemed like it was actually shellac resin secreted by the lac bug. They forgot the pickles so it was a build your own sando when they brought it out after asking for it. The quality control in the kitchen is quite amusing when they forget one of only two ingredients in the sandwich. The fennel carrot slaw was mostly carrots and watery mayo... Publix slaw even laughs at this.

South Philly Special, "With Whiz", farro bowl. After the Salami sando, I knew I was gonna be up shit's creek without a paddle on this $12 "Philthy"... Kiss the Amoroso roll goodbye because you're gonna get some standard bagged hoagie roll and the chopped "ribeye" was heavy handed on the salt but the onions sweetened it a tad bit, not much though. And that ain't no Whiz... Some lightweight substitute with no name. No self-respecting Northerner would serve this to another human being, not even in a frat house from one bro to another high off their asses. The meat portion was borderline acceptable, the roll too thick and dense but semi soft at least and the "Whiz" was not even spread evenly throughout the entire length. The cheap "Whiz" should never be melted to this degree, almost to the point of becoming yellow snow in June. Southside Philly doesn't have much to be proud about except the philthy but if they ever served this low rent version up there, they would have nothing to brag about except their stupid accents. The farro was actually halfway decent, edible at least without having to make a face and pretend to like it when asked. For $12, this was nothing but robbery... Just like in Southside.

Shrimp Tacos. There's no way they can fuck this up... No fucking way. It's goddamn tacos for crying out loud. Even if it's totally crackerized, it should still be edible. Whoops, I spoke too soon... The corn tortillas were a plus but they didn't even grill it, it was just straight outta the packaging. And of course, there's gonna be a ton of liquid on top of it from the shrimp juice and salsa... Which the tortillas were more than happy to soak up. It was like picking up used toilet paper in a bowl that won't friggin flush. The shit just broke apart like it was shot by Boba Fett's disruptor rifle. The shrimp was ok but as a taco it was devoid of flavor and amateur at best.

You are free to use any methods necessary but I want them alive - no disintegrations! I guess Darth Vader forgot to tell the cooks in the kitchen... I have never seen tacos break apart just trying to pick it up. 

Even though they have a very nice looking PR shot of the food on their website, it's pretty obvious the back of the house staff have zero cooking experience... I mean this is probably the worst menu I have ever witnessed where literally almost everything sampled was executed less than half-assed. The entire menu needs to be 86'd and a brand new menu needs to be redeveloped... By a chef or a Waffle House short order cook. Shit, Waffle House would make a killing inside this joint with their menu... And they won't even try to hide chicken bits in the waffles. A new or old resto should never have people who have never cooked professionally learn as they go, it's bad for business when the first impression may be your last.
The place could have promise because it would be a nice hangout for groups to come by for drinks and a bite after a game of frisbee golf , flag football or kickball, whatever white people like to do together. They have the space for it indoors and out... I do like the Star Wars cornholer. I hope they can turn the kitchen around because this is their major weak spot, it sucks for the bartenders and servers to have to pick up the slack while the customers suffers as well with no show food orders. The comic book side is a cute idea but do you really think it's a sustainable feature for the long term? Just get rid of it because running a comic shop is a full time job. Just put more arcade games in there... I know I would go back for some old school arcade games and pinball machines. Let's hope the management with Leon's and Brick Store experience can break the curse of this space and correct their mistakes before they share the same fate before them. Good luck.

22 N Avondale Rd
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
404-292-4607
http://myparentsbasement.squarespace.com/