Sucker Pouched

Sometimes the pouch have faith in humanity when they make recommendations to try something at their favorite local dump... And sometimes it gets sucker punched right in the fucking pouch. Let's go see what the pouch can regurgitate after a shot in the gut and a swift kick to the nads...

MoonShadow Tavern.

Wings, Intolerable (hottest) and Lemon Pepper. So, someone told me that this townie dump has some of the best wings. That sounds like a challenge because sometimes the biggest dumps could have incredible wings... Or you can have the biggest wings and incredible dumps afterwards. Too bad this place wasn't one of them. First of all, the wings were room temperature... WTF. Their "hottest" was like the hottest mild, it was pathetic and intolerable to even see this on the menu because it's false advertising. The lemon pepper was mostly a grease pool used to glue the spice mix sprinkled on top. I think the lemon pepper were spicier than the "intolerable". The wing size were about medium minus, they were barely crispy and dry inside. I don't know if this batch of wings were just sitting around and they reheated it in the oven and sent it out just to get rid of it because no one here would really notice or care.. But these wings were a real shit show.

Chicken Tenders, tots. The tots were really crispy and good, so, I'm still baffled how the wings were soggy knowing that the fryer was working for these tots. The tenders were crispy as well, light crunchy batter and relatively moist flesh inside. The honey mustard jizz was a joke, looked kinda like the horse semen that stable workers jacked it off into a jug. The tenders were a decent tasting snack, avoid the sauces at all cost. Just ask for some hot sauce instead.

Philly Cheesesteak. It looked like total diarrhea on a plate with two pickle slices on the side... They must be for your eyes like coins for the ferryman. Why is it open faced? Don't you know you're supposed to wrap it so nothing falls out? I hope they don't put a Mission style burrito on the menu, you would prolly have to wrap it yourself. So, I spread out the innards evenly across the hoagie roll (don't expect Amoroso) and squeezed it together and took a bite. You know what... It wasn't half bad. I was ready to destroy this but the hand sliced ribeye, onions and shrooms were quite tasty... Maybe I was just drunk. Is it a "Philthy" cheesesteak? Fuck no, it's a Tucker roadkill meatwich.  

Side salad instead of fries from the cheesesteak. I gotta have something healthy after inhaling all the grease and smoke in this joint. The balsamic vinaigrette was better than that horse jizz but not by much. Standard whitie salad in the obligatory crappy scraps of wood bowl. Cuz, I'm so fancy.


Varuni Napoli.

Mamma. Even though this was a sauceless pie... The ingredients and crust were top notch. Great char and crisp to the outside but soft and chewy on the inside. Still has that great pull to it. Me rikey rong time.

Margherita. The classic pie is still worthy. I ate the entire thing in one sitting... Not that these are giant pies but two at one time is just about right for the pouch for a late night snack. Well, I was really drunk as well... I think I was making out with Luca. Then he ran away on his Vespa.


Midway.

Hot Wings. Haven't been back here in some time... It's an ok local bar with a decent beer and booze selection and the menu is just ok... But, these wings were actually quite good. Plump medium size wings with a nice coating of their really weak hot sauce. Skin was crispy and the meat was moist and flavorful inside. No monumental complaints here except that this was like so many other places in this town claiming to have hot wings. Someone please get me some real hot wings for crying out loud.

I got sucker pouched on those townie wings but hopefully this week will be filled with wonderful and dericious surprises that awaits the pouch... Or maybe not. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it will be not...