Pho King

So, they put in a Pho joint in the old space that was like a dozen different dumpy sushi reincarnations... I remember a long time ago I ate sushi here and I got the worst case of hives known to mutant kind. I looked like Mystique except without the giant blue mams and camel toe. God, she's hot, she can give me blue balls any day... Took me like 3 days to recover from that warm sushi hives effect and swore to never go back ever again. So, after many different sushi tries by dummies who thought they could get away with sub-Ru San's grade sooshee intown and giving people the heebie-jeebies, someone is trying their hands at "authentic" pho... So, naturally, they call themselves Pho King. Yeah yeah, ha ha, you so funny. I guess it's time for the pouch to go back to this lair of despair and see if their pho is truly pho-king good... I got like 2 boxes of Benadryl just in case I mutate from the slop again...

This plaque that you usually find on bathroom doors is on the front cover of the book-like menu... I kinda dig that they improvised restaurant supplies for other purposes. I just hope it isn't repurposed from the sushi joint before with a new sticker.

Papaya Salad. I had them mix it with shrimp and pork... And this is what came out. Looks like a mess but the papaya was marinaded in the fish sauce mixture but not enough citrus acidity or sugar. It was kinda bland and boring and the color was dull. You gotta have some heat in there with a little dices of bright red chili peppers. It was brown and dried up greens basically. Doesn't exactly say eat me. It wasn't awful, just a real snoozer. The fried onions was the best part.

Banh Mi, BBQ pork. Banh Mi sando intown for $3.50... Ok, a dollar mark up. I can live with that if it is good. The thing came out on a dish that is 3/4 too small for the sando to fit into. Hey, it's a FOB thing. It looked decent... But the bread was a little stale. It reminded of Lee's 6 for a $1 special after 4pm rolls. Not that there's anything wrong with it.. It's just that I expected a bit better quality. I don't even know if it was Lee's rolls but they were close. The carrot/daikon (do chua) was a little weak, needed more sugar and pickling time. Big hunks of jalapeno and thin cucumber slices. Let's cut this baby in half and see what's inside...

I think I see an umbilical cord... I just fucking wit ya. Does the BBQ pork looks minced to y'all? This didn't look or taste like BBQ pork. It was all chopped up with not much flavor. The really good banh mi have that char on the pork and the marinade gives you that unmistakeable flavor. This banh mi works if you're in a bind but I would just stick with the oldies but goodies on Buford Hwy (Quoc, Lee's, etc) if you don't want to compromise.

Bun, grilled shrimp and charbroiled meatballs. This sounded great on the menu.. I envisioned large shrimp with grill marks and those deliciously firm but yet moist meatballs you find in a nice pho. But these were like boiled sausages that were fried afterwards. It had a weird texture but the taste wasn't all that bad. It didn't work in this dish but could in another dish. The shrimp were these tiny shrinky dinky skrimps with an orange nuclear glow to them. They tasted like nothing, overcooked and rubbery. The rice noodles were as expected and they weren't all clumped together like other places, so that's a plus. The fish sauce concoction that you pour all over this were not bad, a bit spicy which was fine by me. Overall, this is just pretty much a generic version of bun. Not all that tasty and definitely not craveworthy. Try some on Buford Hwy and you can taste the difference within the first bite.

Pho, dac biet. Let's get to the good stuff first... The broth, that's really all that matters in a bowl of pho. Color, a bit light. Aroma, not that fragrant. Temp, medium hot. First sip, weak and thin. More sips, weak and thin. Repeat. The spices were barely present... Star anise, cloves, cinnamon, fennel, cardamon, coriander, ginger. Where were they? Not in the broth or they obviously didn't use enough... And that goes with the beef bones. Hell, stick a few oxtails in there. Oh, wait, but those are expensive now. Weak weak broth. Maybe if I added stuff to it then it will be flavorful...

Doctored it up with all the goodies... Because no one wants to slurp on bland ass shit. I made it spicy because that's really all there is and some fish sauce to trick my taste buds. After loading the fuck outta it, it was still borderline passable. The noodles were great, though, not clumpy at all. The meats were all cooked off before hand, so, no nice red raw meat slices sitting on top to gradually cook to dull pink color. Found only a few threads of tripe but there were a decent bit of tendon. It's another middling bowl of pho. I asked about bun bo hue and of course the server had no fucking clue what that was... *sigh*. So, I ate about 1/4 of the bowl and I had enough. All the pieces of this puzzle didn't fit in my mouth in taste, texture and balance. It's sloppy, seems almost thrown together because I don't think they're exactly expecting ex-pats to be breaking down the doors in Chipotle central for authentic home cooked meals back in the motherland. Everyone in here was white, imagine that. They know they can take some short cuts. It's not awful, but it's not slurp worthy either, it's just not up to the pouch's standards. I wish it was better since it's across the street from my dumpy condo. But the take out orders were flying out the door, I noticed at least 8 take out orders while I was there.

I give them props for having the balls to open a loosely-authentic pho joint right on Peachtree intown. You won't find the greatest Viet-grubs here but if you're lazy and desperate this could fill your pouch with some level of satisfaction but expect to pay more for the convenience. The staff is mostly millennial kids that have massive ADD, ask them for something and they run off and do something else. You stare them down and they get shy and pull out their smartphones to hide in Facebook or pretend like they are busy. Maybe after 5 minzies or so they remember to bring the check or the take out box you asked for 10 minzies ago. Overall, it seems like they wanna give a fuck about dishing out good food up in this piece, I saw mama-san in a hair net in the kitchen so that's a good sign... The grub looks like it's playing the part but so did Warner Oland and nobody believed he was Chinese in Charlie Chan... Ok, maybe the white people did.

For now, it ain't that pho-king good...

2221 Peachtree Rd.
Atlanta, GA 30309
470-891-8989
http://www.phokingrestaurant.com/