Fig Jam

Baroni really didn't do it for me, it was too similar to Wolfgang Puck's Express... Which was not good. It was a concept to bring WP's haute cuisine to the everyday man in a really dumb down menu. Too bad the everyday man didn't care for his frou-frou dumb slop.

Baroni attempted a more localized affordable menu but most dishes fell short. The pizza were ok but really nothing to write home about, I mean, they definitely can do a proper Napoletana 'Za as proof at Baraonda... But Baroni had a gas oven not wood fired. So, maybe there's your problem. Their other problem was the clientele they were attracting... It became more family oriented which is not a bad thing but for their bottom line, it was a bad thing. Family of 6 taking up valuable space and only ordering a pizza and a salad to share doesn't help pay the bills. They also don't order alcohol either. So, basically, it became an upscale Ci Ci's. They needed to change strategy or else face the firing squad.

Now, they've changed up things here more oriented for the adult scene... Bigger bar, better mood lighting and a customizable menu with small, medium, large plates to fit your appetite. But is it for the better? I think so, I like the new space. These guys, Mario and Constanzo, know what they're doing, they can deliver but they have to have the right formula. Baroni seemed to have the right formula but it was too cartoonish. It screamed franchise. But now I think Fig Jam has a personality, a local spot to hangout and nosh... It feels right. But nevermind all that jazz... How's the food?

Let's take a first look...

(Quail Airline Breast, Blackberry Glaze)

First dish that came out was pretty tasty... A good sign. Cooked medium with a nice pink center. Some would think it's a bit too sweet with the glaze and all but it worked for me.

(Lamb Belly, Bourbon Maple Sauce)

Saw this first on the menu and had to order it. It was either pork belly or lamb belly... You don't see lamb belly around town much, so I had to have it. It was super tender but not fatty. It was a nice dish, not mind blowing but did satisfy the craving.

(Stuffed Topneck Clams, Bechamel, Panko)

Presentation is lacking but who cares, I'm not eating the plate. Was pretty good and happy to see there was actually a whole clam underneath all that stuff and not canned minced clams.

(Hot Crab Dip & Naan Bread)

Ok, let's just get it out there... This is not Naan bread. It's more like a pita or flat bread. They need to work on the dough recipe if they want to continue to keep calling it naan. The crab dip was passable... But I'm not really a big fan of dips because they seem so trailer park to me, it's like some neck just started to combine things he had lying around his single-wide in a bowl... Basically, crap in a bowl.

(Mussels in Coconut Lemongrass Curry Broth)

Yes, this dish has been done a million and one times but that's ok with me. If it is done properly and tastes good, it's all good with me. Mussels were decent size and the broth was flavorful. It'll do the trick if you want to dine on some unbearded bivalves.

(Flatbread- Lamb Sausage, Feta Cheese, Roasted Garlic)

Yeah, it's a pedestrian dish because it's meant to be. But if the ingredients are fresh and cooked to order, this is a tasty little filler. The roasted garlic was the best part.

(Flatbread- Portobello, Goat Cheese, Onion, Truffle Oil)

Truffle oil is so overdone but I gotta admit, this was good. It's just a good combo of toppings. Fragrant and tasty. The flatbread was just right, not too crispy with the right amount of chew.

(Mixed Grill- Duck Breast, Sausage, Lamb, Sirloin)

This is like every man's wet dream... A good selection of different cuts and all cooked... (wait for it)... "To perfection". That even surprised me from a place opened only for 3 days. It was like $30 or something, easily one of the more pricey dishes on the menu but I thought it was worth it.

(Revolutionary Mac & Cheese)

Nothing really revolutionary, it was pretty much a law-abiding version... Meaning it was a very standard version but it coulda used a little more cheese and cream to get a more velvety texture. Also, got to be hot hot hot as well since you're serving it in a little cast iron thingy.

(Molten Lava Cake)

(No idea what this was, some kinda Bread Pudding thinger)

(Cheesecake)

Yeah, I'm not really a dessert/pastry person, hence no comments on the last three dishes. They did send out this brownie thing also and it was ok. The desserts are not really all that, but I don't expect it to be for a place like this.

This joint is good for drinks and some bites... Maybe even a full dinner excursion. It really depends on your mood. I liked it for what it is and I hope the area will enjoy it, too. With a little time, I think they will become a whole lot better. We need more stuff like this on this stretch of Peachtree... Because Justin's and Frank Ski's just doesn't do it for me, renting the same old Lambo on the weekends get tiresome.

2 Stars.

1745 Peachtree St NE
Atlanta, GA 30309
404-724-9100
http://www.figjamatlanta.com/

Latitude Food and Drink

Opened quietly only a few months ago in the old Grape space comes an upscale casual new American resto with a very simple menu. I like it already because the limited menu reflects thoughtfulness and focus on fresh local ingredients... Well, who isn't these days. But with this menu, I can't find one thing remotely suspect that it came from a frozen brown bag on the back of a Sysco truck.

The decor and interior is simple and modern but yet cozy and comforting. How could this be hidden inside a mall? Better question, why is it in a mall? Mebbe they got a good deal on the space since no one comes to Phipps Plaza anymore. But whatever the reason, let's give it a shot... It looks promising.

(Sazerac)

Ah, yeah, pweez.

(Beef tartare- local sirloin, roasted garlic, fried capers, fresh aioli)

Lurv me some raw meat. The sirloin wasn't ground to mush like most tartare, it had texture, like little cubes of spongy flesh. Toothy, if you will. This was pretty much spot on, except the over lathering of aioli on the toast thingers, it doesn't need that much. It overwhelms the natural flavor of the beef itself. Plus, you got garlic and capers on top of that, don't need the aioli really, a little butter would even do. But a nice app to start. Me likey.

(Crispy eggplant- tomato conserva, house made ricotta, pine nuts)

This was one dish I was wondering how they would do it. When you read it on the menu, it conjures up images of this Sichuan dish called Dry Fried Eggplant that everyone and their mothers know. Well, at least in my numbskull it did. And surprise me it did when it came out, it looked really fucking weird. Big wedges of eggplant dusted with cornmeal-esque coating and deep dried. Might even been in the fryer a tad too long, it was pretty dark. Hope it doesn't taste off. Nope, not bad at all. The skin of the eggplant itself gave off the impression that it was almost burnt fried. The San Marzano tomato conserva (fancypants name for tomato paste) was pretty awesome, sweet, delicate and vibrant. Add a little soft ricotta and nutty crunch of pine nuts and you got a tasty app. It's fugly initially but after tasting it, it's all good.

(Chioggia beets, vinegar, tarragon, fleur du sel)

These local Chioggia (not of the Italy sort) coulda been a bit sweeter. Well, they were local... So, can't fault them on the product. But I did miss that beautiful and bold red and white stripes you normally find in a real Chioggia beet. Overall, a nice side dish, only thing I would say for this is easy on the salt, bro.

(Grilled pork chop- bone in chop, roasted brussel sprouts, apple agro-dolce)

First things first... Was it cooked to temp? Yes! Medium with slight pink. That's how you do it, baybee! This nicely grilled bone in chop was spot on. The bone was even Frenched properly (no silver skin or other crap all wrapped around the bone like some burnt condom), kinda impressed but expected for a restaurant/chef of this level. Brussel sprouts were nicely roasted with some char around the edges. The sweetish apple "sauce" enhanced the pork nicely. Good, simple and satisfying dish.

(Lamb burger- ground lamb and beef, gruyere cheese, rosemay aioli, arugula)

Now, this is a burger... Cooked properly to temp, medium rare of course, and super juicy. Maybe too juicy. Only gripe is they shoulda let it rest a bit before putting it on the ciabatta-esque bun... The bun did it's job absorbing the meat juice but there was some leakage over the edge. The smoked fingerling taters with crema and chives were fine, nothing mind blowing but did pair well with the burger. Thank God, they didn't do fries, a nice change.

(Glamour shot)

(Doughnut holes with blood orange marmalade)

Light, airy and fluffy. Not too sugary on the coating but the blood orange marmalade was a little too tart... Yes, B.O. is usually tart but in a dish like this, you might want to balance it out to be more on the sweeter side since they went lighter on sugar coating the ballz. It's a cute dish but for $7 a pop for 6 nuts, I'll pass next time.

The service was great, this is how all restos should be like and I don't ask a lot of the servers, just get my order right and bring out my food on time. It doesn't take much more effort to be a decent human being to paying customers, actually, if you enjoy working at a place, it takes very little effort. Our server was excellent, knowledgeable and not overbearing. The bartender kinda screwed up my Sazerac in the beginning with it being way too sweet and overly spiced, I asked if they could just round it off with a splash of more rye... He went ahead and made a brand new one and delivered it to my table without missing a beat. Now, that's service... And I didn't even ask for it.

This new-ish resto from Micah Willix is definitely one of the hidden gems in Atlanta, let alone inside a friggin low traffic zombie mall that I despise. The menu is fresh, seasonal, affordable, consistent, well executed and controlled (it doesn't have 8 million dishes on it trying to impress us with fancy truffle oil and all that other bullshit or trying to break new ground with some weird ass cuisine, which we all know has never and will never work in this town)... Add a lil great service to that and you got a winner.

Go.

2.5 Stars

3500 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, GA 30326
678-990-9463
http://latitudeatlanta.com/

Baci

How I ended up in Town Brookhaven is still a mystery because I have no rational recollection... But since I was here, let's see what's new in this dumpelopement. I initially wanted to try Tre'za for their "wood fired brick oven" pizza but when I walked in and looked around, it had the feel and look of a gaudy cafeteria. I spied the oven, oh, dear Lord, no fucking way. I had that pouch feeling it would not live up to expectation. So, I walked.... Across the street. This looked like a cute resto, let's try it, can't be that bad, right? Gotta be at least one edible thing on the menu.

From the creators of the Cafe at Pharr... Menu doesn't look half bad, it's your standard staples found in every menu and every establishment on this level. Nothing all that creative but proven dishes that has worked time and time again.

No booze? WTF... I'm outta here. But I was gently coaxed back with the promise of ceviche and lobster mac n' cheez. Ok, let's eat...

(Mussels )

Didn't look half bad, mussels a bit on the small side but the sauce looked way too thick. Kinda like an Alfredo sauce from a jar. Tasted it and it was! Ciao, Francesco Rinaldi! Could not stop laughing. This was a great start. BTW- the grilled bread were two little slices of air dried baguette that wasn't even cut on the bias. Totally could soak up all that sauce, all 2 liters of it. You can see it sneaking in on the top right... Depressing little fuckers aren't they?

(Japanese Ceviche)

I lurv me some ceviche, the acid from the fresh citrus tastes so fresh and so clean clean... Except this wasn't ceviche, it was a god damn sashimi sampler. Where. Da. Fuk. Am. I? Will I Am, can you help? Why would anyone, let alone a resto owner/operator, would ever call this a "ceviche"? This is insulting to the eating customers on the highest level. This must be a joke... As this app has proven.

(Baby Beet Salad: 1st take)

$7?! This can not even be considered a side salad... It's a side side salad. Is this joke? Am I on Candid Camera? Allen Funt, where the funt are you? No seasoning, no dressing, no flavor. This did not involve cooking, how can it be this bad? Send it back, bitches.

(Baby Beets Salad: Redux)

Like a midget on Viagra, it grew a little bit bigger. 2nd take, bigger and a wee bit better, but that's only because they added the candied almonds this time. Pretty sad still. I made that sound when it came out to the table, just like seeing a special ed kid getting off a short bus with a helmet on... Awwwww.

(Lobster Mac n' Cheese)

Mmm, couldn't wait for some lobster mac... Everyone loves this except the people with the gluten thingy. It was crappy under cooked elbows with no cheese except on top. See any lobster in there? Neither did I but at least you didn't fucking pay $6 for this. A whole box of elbow mac is like 80 cents. Fuck me, bamboozled again. Keep the change, you filthy animal.

(Chef Risotto of the Day: white and green asparagus)

C'mon, surprise me with a properly cooked chef's risotto of the day... White and green asparagus sounds simple enough. Too bad this was rice pilaf, instead. No evidence of stock, parmesan, cream, butter, salt, pepper... Oh wait, I see black specks, could be black pepper. And there, there's some shaved parmesan hairs. Yum-mo, no mo'. I love the presentation, just like at the Pine St. soup kitchen. Slop. Glop. Flop. Next!

(Baci Burger: kobe beef burger, american cheese, homemade pickles, duck fat fries)

Looks like someone was trying real hard to copy the 10PM burger... But it looked more like a backyard BBQ gone wrong with cousin Eddie at the helm. A) Why even ask for a temp on these pathetically paper thin patties that were supposedly KOBE beef. B) Why the fuck would anyone molest the shit outta a premium cut of ground beef? This was not Kobe beef, not even close, it looked more like Kobe Bryant wiped his ass with a Publix bun after a double overtime game. And added a little toe cheese on top for that gooey goodniz. This was so visually revolting, I sent it back to whence it came. But I did taste a duck fat fry or two... Dude, don't quit your day job. How can you send out food like this? It is baffling.

So, after that fiasco of a meal... The sweet little lady owner offered a dessert on the house. I refused but a choco-fiend at the table wanted to try the chocolate cake with ice cream. Told her not to do it, but she did it anyways and she paid the price... Culinarily and monetarily, they charged us for the cake. But it wasn't worth the hassle to get them to change the check. I just pretended it was like an expensive divorce, it was worth it to paid the extra $6 and get the fuck outta there.

I can understand that you've been opened only for a few days. But when you boast about how many restaurants you and your family have and opening another one soon... There is just no excuse for this wretched food coming out of the kitchen. The owner's son even came out to joke about how he cooked the burger... Dude, I'm fucking paying for that burger that you burnt to shit and you're laughing about it? Go the fuck back to college, bro.

No Rating.

705 Town Blvd
Suite 510
Atlanta, GA 30319
678-705-7628
http://baciatlanta.com/

Botekim Brazilian Bistro

When most people in Atlanta think Brazilian, they think of the all you can eat meat joints like Fogo de Chao and Sal Grosso... And possibly, mebbe, Red & Green Brazilian (even though its Korean). We won't even speak about sad sack of shit called Chima that went kaput years ago... But no, people, Brazil actually has other food besides AYCE meat on a skewer brought to your snout by people wearing funny clothes.

Stopped by here to grab a quick lunch, it was almost empty except for the two fugly broads across the way with these hideous Uggs on. Any chick that wears that shit should be exiled on the same island as Alice the Goon from Popeyes... Did someone say Popeyes? Anyway, let's hope the food here doesn't smell or taste like Uggs.

The menu read well with all those Portuguese words, so much fun! That is until you read the description in English. Not that it's bad but if you look at the menu as a whole, it is filled with international global fare. Brazilian cuisine is mixed with different cultures but this menu isn't all that "authentic". Did you know fettuccini, tomato sauce and meatballs was Brazilian? How about Shepherd's Pie, chicken fingers, lamb shank, flounder meuniere or Milanese chicken? Who knows but then again what do I know, I don't speak Brazilianese.

What I do know is food that is well prepared and taste good. So, let's start out with some classic apps... I'll have the croquetes de carne and bolinho de aipim com carne (fritters). What, what's that? You're out of both of them? But there's NO ONE here and you just opened for lunch. Did you eat them all, Jabba? The server then begins to tell me, "Our food vendor hasn't come by yet." WTF?! Just shoot me in the head, did I hear that correctly? I was about to ask her why but I stopped myself before it got any worse.

So, I just order a few other things just to see what they're all about. The server asked me if I was eating all this, I said no and that I was sharing with my dining companion... Then she says, "Well, if you're sharing we'll have to charg...". Stop right there, Snuffleupagus, don't even say another word, I know what you're going to say... No, I am not sharing, I was ordering for the table. This was like a friggin nightmare but only worse since it was daytime. Of the two tables, I get the worst Goddam server who obviously haven't been on the job for that long. It's like explaining the stock market to a ra-tard... They like numbers and the pretty colors on the screen but have no clue what the fuck it means.

Anyways... Let's just get to the eats...

(Linguicua de Porco Acebolada - Brazilian pork sausage, caramelized onions, toast points)

Doesn't this look strangely familiar, something you ate as a kid, this cheap ass looking tubemeat reminds me of... Vienna Sausage! Those nasty processed forcemeat wieners that tasted so good when you were piss drunk or stuck on the side of a snow covered mountain. But here, they add some caramelized onions and bread which makes it alright... Guess that depends on how many drinks you're in or how far the mountain rescue team is. Help me out here, Stallone. Dangle this you, cliffhanger.

(Porco - grilled pork loin, cheddar cheese, pineapple, fries)

Sandwiches always sound so good in a different language but when you see it, meh, it's the same old same old. This tastes exactly how it reads and/or looks. Nothing special or interesting about it, just something to fill yer belly. The brown bag fries which were in stock, came out hot and crispy... Surprising, yes, I know.

(Vaca Atolada - Braise beef ribs, asparagus, yucca)

Everything about this dish looks/says French... Except the yucca on the bottom, which I guess makes it Brazilian? Who knows but this dish was the winner, no contest. I always thought this would be more like a stew-ish/braised style dish. Asparagus- spot on. Yucca- nice with al dente texture. Demi glace- rich and flavorful but a bit salty. Beef ribs- perfect fork tender. Cooking like this makes me smile.


Then the smile turned into a frown... Mebbe it's just me because I'm anal about restaurants doing things right, hell, if I was the owner I would want to do things right... But this large chip on the side of the bowl of the beef ribs really bothered me, kinda like for anyone who has ever received a glass with a crack in it, it's disturbing because you don't know if you'll be eating that piece of glass/porcelain in your food... I could understand them overlooking this if it was a packed house and the kitchen was slammed, but there were 4 customers in the entire place. Attention to details is not their strong suit.

I was excited about this place but after what the server revealed about their food sourcing... One can only guess how much of this menu consists of premade and prepackaged food that they're selling to you as Brazilian cuisine. The beef rib dish was good but I'm not in any rush to head back any time soon.

1.5 Stars.

1410 Terrell Mill RD SE
Marietta, GA 30067
(678) 402-7584
http://botekimbrazilianbistro.com/

Fil-Am Star Cafe and Bakery

This town has a handful of decent Asian joints but Filipino cuisine is almost impossible to find in the South. Most people don't even know what the fuck Filipino food is anyways, so when I ask people if they ever had it, they all say "it's just like Chinese food." ...WTF. But luckily, there is one single place in metro Atlanta that you can actually sample some of the island's grub. This place has been around for a bit and still alive and kicking, so they must be doing something right. There were a couple other places OTP for Filipino swag but I know of one that definitely got 86'd a while ago. It's just a cuisine that's not very well known with the Necks, what a shame. Or not.

I don't crave Filipino food but I do like it because it draws its cuisine from so many cultures... From Chinese, Spanish, American, Malay, Arab to a handful of other Asian and Latin cultures. All this equals to only one thing... Pouch likey!

Ok, let's quit with the chit chat and do some chowing... That's what she said. Ooooh! So, y'all tag-a-long with me and see what I'm about to put in my pouch.


Lumpiang Shanghai - The name is alien but the picture of this is oh so common. Fried eggrolls with meat and veg, of course! Fresh, hot, crispy and tasty. It was nicely wrapped and fried, which surprised me because they're usually all fucked up looking and falling apart. Good job, Lumpy.


Lechon Kawali - You know WTF this is... Oh, yeah, bitches! Deep. Fried. Pork. Belly. Glorious. That is all, nerds. It's served with this liver based sauce but it tasted like fresh earthworm dung.


Fried Chicken Max's Style - Who the fuck is Max and why is his chicken so good? Max's is a popular family chain restaurant in the Philippines famous for his fried cheekan, duh. But he steams his chicken first vs. choking it, before he deep fries it "to perfection" (I stole that from Cracker Barrel). It makes it super crispy outside and moist and juicy inside (just got a blood flow). How was this version? It was pretty good, very crispy on the outside but the inside was a little dry. Don't worry, I still ate the fuck out of it like it was Megan Fox. Squirt.


Pancit Guisado - Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? This dish was greasier than a guido's mane. I kid I kid... Tis was alright, nothing to write Imelda Marcos about, she wouldn't read my shitty letter anyways since she's prolly bizy counting her shoe collection. Whore.


Tortang Talong - Looks like someone sat on a whoopie cushion. This reminded me of some bastard child of a frittata... But this was described as pan fried grilled eggplant with meat. And you forgot to mention a basket load of eggs, too. It was passable but it would be a "no thanks, ma'am" next time.


Chicken Adobo - Can't go to a Filipino joint without ordering this dish. The unspoken national dish. Mebbe it is spoken and acknowledged, I don't know, I don't speak Tagalog. It was a nice dish but not a blow me good without teeth kinda dish. I love anything adobo but it needed more flavor and seasoning (garlic, soy and vinegar). Plus, I like the chicken browned off a little first before stewing. I would prolly order another adobo dish on my next visit.

For it to be the only Filipino resto in Atlanta, you gotta take the good with the bad. Most of the dishes are hit or miss but beggars can't be choosers. Just eat it and shut the fuck up. Translation: This pouchy liked it. It's cheap, filling, tasty and different. Go git ye sum.

1.5 Stars.

5150 Buford Highway
Atlanta, GA 30340
770-220-0592

http://www.filamstarcafe.com/

Green Ginger Asian Fusion

Didn't feel like waiting for over an hour to get a seat at the bar at Cakes & Ale, so decided to give this place a shot since I have eaten at every single local resto around these parts (chain shit restos excluded). Can't be that bad, right?

Famous last words...

The interior looked fine. Modern and somewhat cleanish looking. Seems like an alright place for a quick bite before some heavy duty whisky drankin in the square. Place was practically empty for a friday night. Not a good sign. Then I see an iPad inside this hollowed out space in the side of the table. What could it be? Wine list like at some really cool restos? No, it was a fucking gimmick with stupid games on it, you couldn't even access Safari to check your email. What a waste of money.

Let's hope they spent big dollars on the ingredients, too. The menu is way too long... That's what she said. No, really, the waitress said that. And it sure was a rather large menu with just way too many dishes on it. So, I stuck with the simple high turn over dishes to keep it fresh at least. Is it me or the does the menu seem to read backwards... For example, isn't it Shrimp Tempura vs Tempura Shrimp? Who knows, I don't speak Spanish...

(Tempura Shrimp)

Look at the pic... One of these things is doing the wrong thing. The shrimp has a panko crust and the veggies a tempura batter. Nothing wrong with panko but it is not tempura shrimp. Tell tale sign these sea creastures came from the back of a truck in a discreet brown bag. Sad part is, they weren't half bad, crispy and hot. That's more than I can say for the "fresh made" tempura veggies, the batter was made in house alright but I wouldn't call it tempura, it was more like watered down spackle. The best part was that they battered and fried all the veggies together in one clump. Of course it came out semi crispy on the outside and pure mush with 5 gallons of oil in the center. Pure bliss.

(Sashimi Regular - 15 pcs sashimi & chef's choice roll )

Wow, look at the purdy colors. How exciting... Not only did it wet my whistle, I wet my pants also. Looks just like the plastic window display food in the Narita airport food court. Only if it was. Previously frozen and recently thawed raw fish for your oral pleasures... Shit, I rather get it on Boulevard. It's fresher. At least they used Shiso leaves on this presentation but the tuna was the worst of the bunch, the silverskin in between was so tough and unchewable that I decided to use it as floss... Why not, kill two birds with one stone. Shit, someone kill me, instead.

Let's hope the chef's choice roll is a nicer surprise than this plain Jane Ru San buffet quality spectacle.

Oh, shit. What a surprise... A California Roll. The sushi chef has really out done himself this time... Now, get back to mopping the floor.

(Pad Kee Mao aka Drunken Noodles)

WTF is this? I rather French kiss the Predator. This looks like it was pulled out from the bottom of a donkey's ass. This is not Pad Kee Mao, OK, mebbe after a few whiskeys, wait, make that a whole bottle. I would have to be bat shit drunk to convince me that this is a Thai dish of any form. It was greasy, pungent, way too sweet and salty with overly dried precooked chicken that had the texture of a super ball from a candy machine. This was just awful. Look at it.

Not only was the food dismal, the service was almost nonexistent. The server was sitting at a table at the other end of the resto talking on the phone and folding napkins or something. The food came out in such a weird order and we were never given napkins or utensils, I almost thought I was at an Ethiopian joint and might as well eat with my toes... It woulda tasted better. I didn't realize it until I walked out that the name of the resto had "Asian Fusion" in it.

My Fried Chicken Lips got what my Fried Chicken Lips deserved for this mistake.

What a dump.

No Rating.

265 Ponce De Leon Pl
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 373-2788

www.greengingerdecatur.com

Ledet Ethiopian

This area is Ethiopian central. It's got so much competition in one parking lot. I like Ethiopian grub (hell, I like every cuisine in the world) but I don't eat it much because there's nothing really crave-worthy about it. But these places must be doing something right and filling a niche for all the ex-pats in this town. Sometimes, I just need an injera fix when I get tired of eating Popeyes in the same lot. YES, you heard correctly, I can't eat that dericious God's gift to the world every single day... Just only 5 days out of the week.

Most of these places are plain Jane, decor is not their strong suit but they usually shine through in their food. The menu here looked decent enough with the standard assortment of Kitfo, Tibs and what not... Only thing missing were the stews called Wat but they do have some vegetarian version. The funniest thing was the prominent display of Trader Joe's 2 Buck Chuck wine for something like $6 by the glass. Who fucking prints that on their menu?!!!


Instead of getting the usual Kitfo of raw cubed beef and spices... I opted to change it up a little. Actually, I wasn't all that comfortable doing the kitfo here, just a pouch feeling. But anyways.. Back to the food.

(Sambusa)

UFO's? ...Be afraid, very afraid, they are real. Unidentified Frying Objects. Pre-fried and re-fried to order. Totally tasteless and bland. It was like 3 day old sawdust. I think they just found these behind the fryer. Godawful. PS- there were two options- lentil or beef filling... Was offered neither.

(Goden Tibs)

Came out on a sizzling hot plate, crackly and steamy. Looking good, Billy Ray! Then the server just dumps it on the injera lined plate. Smooooth. This wouldn't be bad if it didn't consist of 50% bone, 30% fat, 10% gristle and 10% edible meat. When I was done eating what was actually edible, the plate of bone, gristle and fat looked like it had the same weight/volume as when it first came out to the table. The veggies and injera were the best part. Boy, am I stuffffffed. Shoulda got the Kitfo... Check, pweez. At least I didn't have to weigh myself when I got home like I usually do after each meal. Winner!

(Whole Fried Tilapia)

I love whole fried fish... Even if it's the Godforsaken tilapia. Because you expect it to be cooked to order. Not here, they know better, obviously... Fry it once first, let it sit around to dry out until someone orders it and then refry it again. It's all about the mise en place. Kept picking at it to find a decent piece of flesh that was semi-moist. This thing looked like it has been curing all week under the blazing Ethiopian sun. It was basically all dried out and hard as a rock... Speaking of rocks, I think this might have been a fossil from the Paleozoic Era. Even the limes were dried out, not one drop. Looks like I got hoodwinked, again. Loser!

(Injera)

Any jocks out there needing some ace bandage for your sprained ankles? Squirt.

I don't know what to say about this place, maybe the other dishes are better like the sandwiches or the spaghetti, who knows but when 3 out of 3 dishes were a dud, I think I'll just cut my losses and let bygones be bygones. The food here seems so uninspired, no passion, nothing had any resemblance of flavor. The service was spotty and not very friendly, almost had that feeling they were there against their will. Is indentured servitude still in practice?

No Rating.

3082 Briarcliff Rd.
Atlanta, GA 30329
www.ledetethiopianrestaurant.com

Baba's Gyro & Kabob

Believe it or not, but I work up in this Godforsaken area called Norcross. I pass by this giant billboard on a daily basis adverting this relatively new and authentic "Mediterranean/Greek" joint that happens to be right across the street from my office. You know what that means...

I think the space they occupy was once a Thai joint long ago... A Thai joint that was flushed from my memory along with the food. Oh, I think it was called Boone Thai, they shoulda called it Boom Thai because I blew their toilet the fuck up. Whatever.

Anyways, so, I ran in here for a quick bite to see how their shit was. This is supposedly their second location with their first in Cumming... I hoped for the best, so I got there early. Hey, first served, first cum.

(Kashk-O-Bodenjoon)
Sauteed eggplant with onion and mint, topped with cream of whey.

It looked ok, not very exciting as you can see... Wait, it reminds me of a game we played while pledging in college... Um, nevermind. But this shit was super salty, it's edible but just be warned. This shit catches up with you like an hour later and you get so friggin dehydrated. It would make you drink the piss straight outta horse's schlong if you didn't have water around... Not that we did that in college. No sir-ree.

(Lamb Gyro)

Surprisingly, it was half way decent except for the unnecessary amount of green filler. The lamb "strips" were flavorful, moist, tender and warm through. Most gyros I've had were either room temp or just plain cold. The worst offenders are the nuked ones where its evident by the hard corners, this had none of it. The pita had the right thickness, some are too thin and break apart or too thick and you spend half the day chewing it. The Tzatziki sauce was the weak link, it needed help, no flavor at all and way too thin. I wished they would display the Autodoner out in plain sight, so I can take a gander of that delicious bulging twirling layered man meat... But overall, it was not a bad gyro.

(What is this? No clue)

Next.

(Shish Kabob)
Beef tenderloin (Filet Mignon) charbroiled to perfection.

Why do restaurants always say that- "... to perfection"? Why, can I get it cooked to imperfection, is that an option? I think it's pretty much industry standard that when you cook something, anything, it should be to the best of you abilities. But back to the food, the kabob was acceptable, a little on the rubbery side. A bit overcooked and lackluster flavors... So, no, it wasn't to perfection. The rice was ok but unseasoned, maybe the only thing in the whole place that was unseasoned. The veggie medley is your standard issue assortment of crappy stir fry specimens.

The staff was pretty friendly and attentive but the food was kinda hit and miss. Stick to the simple dishes and I mean the simpler the better aka gyro. Forget the apps, look for those on your iPad. Would I eat here again since it's so close to my occupation... Only if they deliver.

1 Star.

5270 Peachtree Pkwy
Suite 115
Norcross, GA 30092
678-966-9994
www.babasgyros.com