Stout Irish Pub

Stout, Stout, let it all out, these are the beers I can't do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

In prohibition times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul
In black and tan, they really really ought to show
Those one track minds that took your Yuengling Lager
Kiss them hello, you really should jump for joy
You really should shout for joy

Stout, Stout, let it all out, these are the beers I can't do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

They gave you Yuengling, and in return you gave them 'Hell Yeah!'
As cold as ice, I hope we live to tell the tale
I hope we live to tell the tale

Stout, Stout, pass them all out, these are the drinks I can't do without
Come on, I'm slurring to you, come on

And when you've downed your last bottle
If I could change your mind, I'd really love to buy you another
I'd really love to drink another

Stout, Stout, hope y'all don't run out, these are the drinks I can't do without
Come on, I'm still drinking with you, come on

56 E Andrews Dr
Ste 16
Atlanta, GA 30305
(404) 869-1151

www.stoutirishpub.com

Alex's Pan Asian Cuisine

Pan Asian cuisine is a mockery to the modern free world... It is the mud baby of Asian grubbery or just plainly crap in a wok. A mish mash of flavors struggling to be recognized... And you thought you can tell the difference between Asians? Prepare your taste buds for a firework show of mediocrity... It is Norcross afterall.

This former Frontera location is dimly lit and looks like a dusty old saloon in the dayz of yore... Nothing inside has changed except the food (if you can see it in the dark). Mebbe when Obama gets into office he will re-distribute the cuisines back to their respective cultures.

Their claim is "Chinese-Japanese-Thai-Steak-Seafood-Sushi and Fun"... The only thing missing is taste. Try saying all that in one breath, I can't. I'm feeling light-headed, someone open a window quick! Just looking through the menu is painful... Asparagus with Twin Nuts, Chinese Sausage Salad, Shrimp MoonPie, Bangkok Shrimp and Pad Prik. I don't know about you but I don't want my kok Bang'd or Prik'd.

Spicy Flat Noodles - Ok, how bad could that be? It's got shrimp, chicken and beef... And spicy noodles. Yum right? Yeah, like scooping a pail in a river of raw sewage. Noodles so overcooked that it turned to mush, Slimer wouldn't eat it. The shrimp, chix and beef while plentiful were lackluster and devoid of any seasoning except the pile of chili paste mixed in after the fact. I spied a couple jalapenos in there... I was wondering where my side of sour cream and guacamole were.

This joint is as dead as the strip mall it's located in... And the food might as well be too. I had better Oriental chow at the food court at Greenbriar Mall, it's a good sign when there's chicken bones on the curb. There is nothing appealing to the sense here... Because everyone knows that we eat with our eyes first. And my eyes are starting to rain.

Meh.

3466 Holcomb Bridge Rd
Ste AA
Norcross, GA 30092

(770) 209-7889

alexscuisine.com

Waffle House

Screw Flying Biscuit... They should call this joint The Flying Sausage. Literally, my sausage patty flew off my plate... I think it tasted good but who knows at that time in purgatory. Speaking of sausage, there's a lot of it in this shack at 4:30 AM... Dude, cross your legs if you're in a mini skirt or do a Ken-Tucky Chrome, Buffalo Bill style.

"You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a tranny."

"You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still gonna blow you behind da dumpster."

Why am I here....

Duct Tape.

2264 Cheshire Bridge Road N
Atlanta, GA 30324

(404) 634-9414

www.wafflehouse.com

Barker's Red Hots

I'm wondering if the owner is named Bob... Because the price is wrong bitch. Even though the grub was tastee, I don't know if I want to spend $12 for 1 Red Hot (more like Pink Warm), 1 Weck (Not a total Wreck) and 1 MoonPie (Mmmm, Pie)... Again.

I'm not bashing the place but actually enjoyed it. The owners/staff were very friendly which made shelling out over 10 clams for processed meat a lil bit more comforting. It is very clean (proudly displayed 100 point report on the wall) and quality of ingredients looked fresh.

Red Hot - While the mystery meat was good, the preparation was ok. They didn't cook it long enough to give it that char and flavor of the coals. It was warm through but not very juicy. Not bad but I prefer a nice snap of a natural casing.

Grilled Flank Steak on Weck - This was tasty and a decent imitation of a true Beef on Weck. The flank steak was tender but a little too thick... Just stick with a good, juicy and thinly sliced roast beef. The Kummelweck roll on the other hand nailed it, it was a tasty balance of caraway seeds, kosher salt (pretzel salt preferred) and horseradish. A bit pricey for meat, bwead and a tiny pickle. Oh, well... It's for a good cause, my belly.

MoonPie - Enough said... Yum.

I like this joint and will support them when I'm in the area... Otherwise, I'll stick with Nathan's. I second what Ivan mentioned, Papaya King can't be beat.

Burp.

3000 Windy Hill Rd
Ste B-6
Marietta, GA 30067

(770) 272-0407

www.barkersredhots.com

Rise Sushi Lounge

Did I walk into STATS by mistake... Because I needed a 1000 c.c.'s of adrenalin, STAT! This place was as dead as the fish in the display case. The ratio of staff to customers was 14:1... And yet we couldn't get a menu let alone service. The only Asian working was the "sushi chef", who turned out to be the assistant. The "Master Sushi Chef" was nowhere to be found... I think he was applying for a job at Ru San's.

Took a gander at the tired-looking fish in the case and my first thought was... An ex-girlfriend. No Toro, Chutoro or Otoro... Meh. But they did have Uni so I got excited. I wanted to Rise outta my chair and walk out when I saw him pull out a wooden tray of mushy, brown and watery Uni... Was it Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard? My manhood deflated quicker than a 70 year old man when the sushi helper started poking at it with his nose-picking finger... It was disturbing to hear him tell me that it was fwesh. To top it off he states that the "real" sushi chef prepares Uni Nigiri chopped up. WTF?

Actual order of dishes:

Octopus Salad - 4 thinly sliced octopus had decent flavor but the mound of half-way sliced accordion of cucumbers were barely marinated in the "vinaigrette".

Soft Shell Crab - Lightly battered and crispy, not too bad. They left out the wasabi aioli but they included another mound of poorly sliced cucumber in some strange dressing... I think it was shellac.

Sushi/Sashimi Combo - I haven't seen a more pathetic display of sliced fish since the Butcher of Bakersfield. Hacked up like chum... I rather have the skills of a Rabbi behind the counter than this helper's help. I don't know if it was sushi grade or grade school but it tasted pretty much low rent... as in Section 8. The spicy tuna roll was treated in the same fashion of the Uni... A monster mash of tuna giblets seasoned with Taco Bell sauce, c'mon, you gotta think outside the bun when it comes to innovative sushi!

Shrimp Tempura - Nothing Ru San's couldn't handle... It was crispy to say the least. The tempura sauce was some type of witch's brew of salt and more salt... I wished I brought my BaconSalt.

Miso Soup - It was wet... Fragrant like Limberger cheese and tasted like old shoe leather.

Side Salad - It was green... No dressing and a couple dices of wet mushy tomato.

This ass-backwards meal wasn't even worth 50% off... Who ever pays full price for this better get a proper rogering as well. The Dinner Menu was funny like a clown (but crying on the inside), it was merely there to amuse me. Just poor service, quality and execution on all cylinders. They didn't even say goodbye which was fine with me... Less eye contact the better.
1 Star each for the 2 fwee glasses of house wine since they have no liquor license yet.

Sayonara biatches...

Flush.

300 Marietta St
Ste 104
Atlanta, GA 30313
(404) 477-0947

risesushilounge.com

Dogwood Restaurant

Dog-Gone It! You don't have to spend a fortune on a waredrobe to eat here... But try to dress accordingly. The table of Joe Six-Packs from upstate GA had the style coordination of the synchronized swim team in the Special Olympics... When did tight rolled acid washed jeans, knee slapping brown braided belts, denim snap button shirts, molester-stache and LA Tech light gear sneakers come back? They musta been here for the "grits".

The $30 prix fixe menu is less than the minimum political party donation... And you get instant gratification without the fear of being vetoed. You can't write in your choice from the main menu because there is no substitution... Yet. This crib is spacious, modern, so fwesh and so clean clean. So, let's get to the quick and dirty...

Roasted Tomato Soup - Verra tastee, good consistency and flavor, the fwied goat cheese ball melted in my mouth... Yes, I swallowed and licked my lips afterwards.

Buttermilk Fwied Chicken Bweast - A hefty portion, verra good crust, moist and tender inside. It was boneless since I didn't noticed any bones on the corner. Baked mac & cheese was a little too dry, eh, I like it sloppy, gooey and crusty on top kinda like the trannys on the corner of Linden/Courtland. Braised greens were well prepared and tasty... Makes me wonder if the little old lady washing dishes made it.

Maple Cheesecake - A worthy addition to the menu but not even in the same league as Junior's. The portion was enough to feed the whole soup kitchen line down the street.

Logan Turnpike Grits - Lobsta, Shroom and Ham/Pimento - Super creamy, warm and had the right amount of tooth... Are you listening girls? This ain't da Jersey Turnpike kinda grits. No wonder Joe and da Plumbers at the next table came here... This Grit is da Shit.

I don't care if they put lipstick on a Dog, Pig or a Maverick... The food is still good eating here. Especially, the Maverick.

Burp!

565 Peachtree St
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 835-1410

www.dogwoodrestaurant.com

The BookHouse Pub

I'm guessing this joint isn't named after the busty chick with the tight sweater in the corner table but rather Twin Peaks' secret hush hush society of vigilantes. I don't know what the puppy smuggler ordered but I'll have what the guys are having... Because this place is full of wood. Literally and Literary.

The MJQ boys did a great job with the all wood theme and I got really excited when I first walked in... No pun intended. But I think they could use a few more books with a name like The BookHouse. The place ain't big by any means but it'll keep the rowdy trolls to a minimum. The outside back patio is spacious like the Mines of Moria and woulda been gweat if summer had just started.

The drink menu is good for a place this size but the impressive food menu has more dishes than tables which is must try on my next visit. It's a great place to grab a dwink and/or bite to eat whether you are hand solo or with fwends. The bartender is friendly but is scared easily like a frightened Monchhichi when there's multiple drink orders. He quickly scurries out for a quick breather on a cancer stick and re-emerges a new and more confident Hobbit. Slinging out dwinks like a veteran crack dealer on Boulevard.

Now, stop reading my ridiculous drunken review and ride your unicorn there! The word is out... Like a gay midget coming out of the cabinet.

736 Ponce DeLeon Ave
Atlanta, GA 30306

(404) 254-1176

www.myspace.com/thebookhousepub

The Lamplighter Cafe

As we walk through the Doors, I heard...

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If Gastro was to say to you
Snarky Snacker, we couldn't get much fatter
Come on baybee, feed my belly
Come on baybee, rub my belly
Try to Light the Lamp on fire

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the kitchen
For now we can only booze
And our bellies become a lil itchin'
Carmen Cappello, light the burner
Carmen Cappello, light the fryer
Try to Light the Lamp on fire, yeah

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the haystack
For now we can still only booze
And our hunger become like crack
Carmen Cappello, fire up the scrapple
Carmen Cappello, fry up the fish & chips
Try to Light the Lamp on fire, yeah

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Pouch, you couldn't get much bigger
Come on Gastro, finish that burga
Come on Gastro, try the Hellcat's Sampler
Try to Light the Lamp on fire

3.5 Stars

Burp

Hellcat's Dessert Sampler

Fish & Chips

Scrapple Fried Egg Burger

Pork Quesadilla

Potato Soup w/ ham & cheese sammies

280 Connally St
Atlanta, GA 30322

(404) 247-0240

www.lamplighteratl.com

V1 BBQ & Cafe

Gastro's marsupial pouch has a life of it's own... Kinda like Kuato. I open my mind to him and he shows me my future place of sustenance... So I got my ass to the Mars of Duluth.

This brand spanking new half occupied strip mall had two hidden gems, Taipei and this joint, but like a fugazi, Taipei turned out to be a fake and got rubbed out. V1 shined on with their outstanding Chinese BBQ... Roast Pork, Char Siu, Roast Duck and Soy Sauce Chicken.

Gastro loves Ming's BBQ and HK BBQ... But bite after bite non-stop of their BBQ, I must say we have a new winnah, this shit is G O O D. The roast pork was super cripsy, thin layer of fat and tender pork... It was perfect. The soy sauce chicken was properly marinated and it shows through on the color and flavor with each chomp. The char siu couldn't get any better with the perfect balance of sweetness and tenderness.

The BBQ is the main attraction here but the rest of the menu ain't no side show either. There are some real winners like Beef chowfun, Hainanese chix, Sambal squid, Curry or Tom Yum chicken, Hokkien fwied noodles, Mee goreng and Curry Laksa noodle soup.

Someone stop me before I explode... There's always tomorrow.

V103 might be "The People's Station" but V1 BBQ has the true "Asian Persuasion".

BURP!

3940 Buford Highway
Duluth, GA 30096
(770) 623-1136

Joli Kobe Bakery & Bistro

Sandwiches are B O R I N G... unless it's a ginormous man meat filled Carnegie Reuben or a nasty tasty Philthy Whiz wit. But if you use fresh quality ingredients, I will eat your sandwich... And this prissy dainty joint does.

I don't have the time or desire to drive up Roswell Road just to eat a friggin overpriced sammie. So, I was amused that they opened a mini-me version intown... I had to see what a hectic day in the life of a Real Housewife of Atlanta was like. It was all for research... Or shits and giggles if you prefer.

These gold diggers have it made... Made to order sammies, soups and salads. They also have some well prepared pastries and other desserts that I can care less for... But they would looked pretty as a trophy or in Hugh Hefner's sun spotted-rotten arm though.

Turkey Panini - The onion marmalade and brie cheez made the sammie. Sweet, gooey, warm and soft... Kinda like the broads working at Krispy Kreme. Came with too much chips.

Classic Joli Chix Salad - Simple and delish. They don't over dress it so you can actually see and taste the chicken. More friggin chips, how much chips can one eat?

Veggie Barley Soup - Tasty but nothing spectacular. It's friggin veggie soup!

Mini Eclairs and Mini Lemon Coco Cake - Cute, fun and tasty... But the bite size portions were more than enough for me or else I'll hurl.

This place has a nice spread... I guess you need to if you wanna marry rich.

Cha-Ching!

Burp.

1545 Peachtree St
Atlanta, GA 30309 (404) 843-1440

www.jolikobe.com/

Luna Nueva

I really like this space but it's been cursed from the beginning. La Fonda, Miro's Garden and now this Mexi-joint.

Did Dr. Herbert West dig up this grave to Re-animate? I have no idea if the owner is a Doctor or just a Demento, but is it a good thing to open up so close to Halloween and without any publicity? I hope they didn't put the headstone in storage yet.

Not much has changed in decor since Miro's... except that they don't have a liquor license (where's that stake?) . The menu looked promising until I asked the server what kind of tortilla they used- corn or flour. She said "I don't know but it ain't the crunchy kind!".

WTF? Cuckooooo...

Chips and Salsa - Not too bad but the salsa was orange... And yet I strangely liked it. Kinda reminded me like Marie Sharp's Habanero sauce or Goo Gone.

Tacos - Chicken, beef and pork... All shredded like confetti, dry and tasteless. The corn tortillas were greasier than a Dirty Sanchez and fell apart like a pinata. The only difference is that it wasn't filled with yum yums for your mouth. The salsa verde was too watery and barely made the mystery meats any better.

Sampler of the same bland mystery meats in dusty old flour tortilla:

Quesadilla (chix), why is there cheddar in there? And why is it buried under a pound of spanglish wice? This shoulda been buried six feet under.

Enchilada (pork), tasted like an open-end frozen burrito. Thanks Old El Paso... I'll Pass-o.

Chile Relleno (beef), a sad deflated specimen now just a study in moppishness. The batter was thin and soggy, the poblano pepper was even thinner and the cheese/meat was abducted by aliens.

Spanish Rice - Just call it Spanglish Wice because it was a San Francisco tweat. Who knew rice from a box could be so dry and bland.

I was tempted to try the churros but after that train wreck of a meal, it would just be insult to injury to my stomach.

Someone slap me... I must be having a nightmare. I rather take Fenton's Reagent than Dr. West's Green Reagent Serum for this industrial waste.

Splash.

1150 Euclid Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30307

The Flying Biscuit Cafe

Looks like Delia is off to the bank and Gastro is off to the loo... Once again.

The newest Franken-Biscuit is alive and kickin' in Sasquatch County. Unfortunately, Delia's formula has been so diluted down from the Thin air up here, it isn't even close to the original.

3B Chicken Sammie - Bleu cheez, Bacon & Basil is the claim. Just because it has mold on it doesn't mean it's "Bleu". I have seen/tasted Beggin Strips better than this pre-fabbed Sysco bacon. The basil lost all identity after Jeffrey Dahmer chiffonade it to death in the kitchen. The chicken bweast coulda used a squeeze of this and a pinch of that because it was flat... and bland.

Heffers love her biscuit
And Senior Citizens love you too
And the eggs may look warm to you Babe
And the cheese may look blue
Ooooh Biscuit
Ooooh Flyin' Biscuit makes me sing da Blues
Ooooh Biscuit
If you should go eating
In the franchise of mediocre life
Dragging behind you the resilient roach
Of a million compound eyes
Don't be surprised, when a Crackho' on Ice
Appears under your seat
You slip out of your chair and go out of your mind
With your meal flowing out behind you
As you claw the thin grits

Flush.

5270 Peachtree Parkway
Ste 120
Norcross, GA 30092

(770) 407-5885

www.flyingbiscuit.com/index.html

Urban Flats Flatbread & Wine Co.

Where am I... Alpharetta?

Oh dear baby Jesus, Lindbergh City is lost like Moses in the desert. This place is the melting pot of suburban mediocre crud grub. You have all your greatest hypocrites:

LongJohns, Chili's Willy, Taco Smack, 5 Toolz Burgaz, Tongue In A Groove, HotPrix, My Fanini, Zips and now Urban Cracks...

I don't know who came up with the ideal of serving it on an artist palette... but that flatbwead sure looks like a mess of gooey oil paints. The Spicy Shrimp Chorizo tasted, well... flat. The first one came out undercooked and without chorizo... it was so pathetic, I thought it was a joke by the dishwasher. When the manager noticed it was made wrong he sent out another one. The second coming wasn't anymore of a religious experience than the first. C'mon, you guys know the second time around just doesn't have that build up. If I had a sausage that looked that disgraceful, I wouldn't be showing it in public let alone have someone put it in their mouth. The chorizo were plain old sausages dyed in pink coloring ... my wine had more spice.

The wine list is pretty good for a cookie cutter joint but some prices are just outrageous for a soccer family joint. They have these new fangled temp. controlled cuvee/wine dispensers... Yippy, hooray, now you can serve 3 week old wine and pwetend it's fwesh. Yay...

The DJ was an embarrassment... I think it was Corky. His mix was all over the place... Hell, I wouldn't hire him for a Bar Mitzvah. He played stuff that would make Helen Keller scream her hands off.

Even though, the menu is a mess and the DJ was a re-re... The wine, booze and service can make up for it (3 stars for each). Oh blah dee, oh blad daa...

Life Goes On.

2450 Piedmont Rd
Ste 100
Atlanta, GA 30324

(404) 949-0600

www.urbanflats.net

The Shed at Glenwood

Did I just walk into an Echo Chamber or Romper Room? Hell, some kids need to be taken to the Chamber for some "Discipline"... Did I just say that out loud? Back on topic...

The cement floors and the hard flat walls made for a great game of Pong for the Atari 2600 with the acoustics of a friggin prison cell... And the table across the way with a crap load of hellacious screaming demon spawns didn't help neither. I love how parents think they have the right to ruin other people's dinner after a long work week with the Wraith like shrills emanating from their Hobbit banshees.

We get lured to a side table which was obviously camouflaged to our server's vision or attention. Does it really take 10 minutes to get a glass of water? Yes, it does when she's trying to kill 12 glasses of water with one pass for 4 tables. WTF you think this is... Chuck E Cheese?!

I never thought much about this place based on previous reviews but since Lance Gummere came from Shaun's, I had to give it a shot.

Roasted Pork Empanada, Onion Marmalade - The fwied dough tasted like the eggrolls in the Chino-American joints. The pork filling was steaming hot but passable. Marmalade is supposed to be thicker, this was more like a salsa.

San Marzano Tomato Fondue, Goat Cheese, Pine nuts - A hefty portion it was but the bwead was charred a bit too long on the edges and the bitterness really overwhelmed the fondue aka tomato sauce. But it wasn't bad at all.

Braised Beef Brisket, Logan Turnpike White Corn Grits, Broccolini - One stalk of broccolini, although tasty. White corn grits were very good, nice and creamy and the right amount of tooth. The brisket had some decent parts that flake off with a fork but other parts you couldn't cut it with a Dremel. Replace it with anything other than brisket and we'll be eating good in the neighborhood.

Although it didn't really impress me much with the noise, service and grub, it could be much much better... but I liked the neighborhood feel. Lance just needs to get in the groove and hopefully they'll be dancing a different beat with time. Just watch out for Stewie like trolls moonwalking around the resto... They should be taken out back to the other shed.

Wah Wah... Cry for me.

ZIPPP IT!

475 Bill Kennedy Way
Atlanta, GA 30316

(404) 835-4363

www.theshedatglenwood.com

La Pietra Cucina

No signs, No hours, No website, No problem!

Eating here is a crap shoot... They open and close whenever they want to. I have seen better hospitality in the bathroom of Cocktail Cove. But if you get lucky during the week when they are open, it's a real treat. Food is fresh and well prepared and the price is well worth it... even though some Cheap Charlies complained it was too little food for too much dinero.

Calamari in Sicilian Tomato Zupetta - This ain't your run of mill fwied tubes you find from an Applebeez cracker jack box kitchen. Tender calamari wading in a flavorful pinot grigio tomato sauce with toasted garlic, tapioca like cous cous and pine nuts. Delicate and delish.

Black Spaghetti - The pasta was awesome, calabreses sausage was a bit too salty and the rock shrimp looked like it came from a frozen pre-cooked salad shwimp bag at K-Roger's down the stweet. If you ran outta rock shrimp substitute it with... let's say lobster. Don't try using your weak Jedi mind trick on me with those whale shark krill. Besides that mistake, this dish was yummo.

Seasonal Risotto - Duck confit and mushrooms. Damn good. Arborio rice cooked perfectly with a little tooth to it and velvety. The duck was plentiful and tender. The mushrooms savory and added richness and color to the dish. Just friggin G O O D.

The bwead and bwead sticks were just ok... olive oil was fine but no fwesh ground black pepper. Just some chincy pre-ground black flakes. Meh.

Next up... pappardelle, tagliatelle and gnocchi.

It looks like they are finishing up the rest of the space and hopefully they will be opened on the weekends. If this joint survives and I hope it does... it will be one of the better Eye-talian joints intown.

I hope they gave the management company an offer they can't refuse on the lease.

I sleep wit da fishes for another bite of that risotto...

Splash.

1545 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 888-8709

What's Gastro eating now 10/9/08!

Myojo Chukazanmai Japanese Style Noodles with Soup Base, Soybean Paste Flavor.

This shit is G O O D...

Seven Sushi Bar and Lounge

I don't know how they came up "Seven" but maybe it has something to do with them being unable to serve more than 7 people at a time. Or me feeling like I died Seven deaths from the wait. Can you say "In da weeds"? Cuckoo cuckoo!

Not only was the wait excruciating... The menu was as well. When 5 outta 8 pages consists of rolls, you gotta ask yourself...

"Where am I???!!!"

It seems like they used everything from Fune when they took it over... including the menu and the stockpile of raw fish. I was kinda looking forward to the "Kaiten" theme but I'm glad they didn't have sushi on a plate playing hide and seek on that conveyor belt.

Fune's selection of sushi had me Fuming in the past and Seven ain't turning my frown upside down either. Even the sushi chefs seemed disappointed with their selection... Looked like they were about to perform Hara-Kiri since there was no Otoro to be had. Hey, belly for a belly right?

Tako Sunomono - 4 slices of octopus, 4 strands of seaweed and 400 slices of cucumber. The octopus wasn't bad but the cucumber salad had the acidity of water. For $8, I hope they used Bling H2O.

Shrimp/Veggie Tempura - What do you think it tasted like... Crap dipped in tempura batter and fwied. Everything tastes G O O D fwied.

Sushi/Sashimi Combo - After they unhooked, scaled and butchered up the night's catch... It finally came out. The sashimi was your standard selections but sliced a tad bigger than usual... It tasted ok, it didn't melt like butta in your mouth, more like Play-Doh. The nigiri on the other hand was dreadful... It wasn't sushi rice, it was more like regular old short grain. The crap wasn't dressed with rice wine vinegar and fell apart like kitty litter. The fishies on top of the saw dust clumps tasted like 2 day old chum... Jaws could smell this a mile away and turn around. I just didn't get the inconsistency between the sushi/sashimi on the same plate.

The standard Side Salad that came with the combo is what you expect it to be... Left out on the Side. Meh.

The laugh riot of the night was Miso vs. Gween Tea... Miso was piss warm and flavorless. Gween Tea was scorching hot and burned all the flavors/taste buds outta my mouth. Even Godzilla couldn't drink this magma.

It's no wonder why Fune went belly up... but if Seven keeps this middling quality up they might as well do the honorable thing like a Samurai should. Slicing motion from left to right...

Tanto...

2.5 Stars.

860 Peachtree St #H
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 645-7777

The Bureau

If you love the smell of rancid piss and chicken bone hopscotch on the streets... you came to the right place!

Walking the one block from Noni's to here could possibly change your life or take it. No wonder it's called Edgewood... you really live on the Edge down this neck of da Woods. Their building number is 327 but wouldn't it be really cool if it was 187? (Noni's is 357... as in make my day punk!)

I love what Blair et al. have done with this space... just amazing. Art gallery, bar and nosh area upstairs and kickass bar, lounge, pool table area downstairs... all surrounded by exposed brick, it's just so NY chic. :)

They do have some interesting beers on tap but by no means is it a brew pub claiming over 100 beers from around da world. The menu looks promising as well but the Snarky Snacker and I had to try the Poutine... I tell y'all what, it smelled a lot better than some of the poontang outside on the streets. It was like the Canuck version of Lay's, you just can't eat one. I will definitely be back to try the rest of the menu.

The crowd is old school industry peeps... and it feels like all the afterhours we all did a decade ago, where everyone knows everyone. Except that we got a little older and wiser but still hanging out in the shitty parts of town. L'Chaim!

Where my dew rag at... ???!!!

Asshat.

327 Edgewood Ave SE
Atlanta, GA 30312

(678) 732-0067

www.thebureaubar.com

Cheesesteak Place

Who doesn't love two handfuls of juicy, tender, shaved meat packed in tight between a pair of fluffy buns. Imagine finding that in Ansley Mall... I'm talking about a getting a decent cheesesteak people! Geez...

It ain't a true Philthy... but the owners are trying their best, bless their little hearts. I rather try the lamb vindaloo and naan bwead they were eating in the back office because it smelled delish. I loved how they kept sneaking in a bite here and there in between customers.

The roll ain't Amoroso (stwike 1), the meat was frozen Steak Umms (stwike 2), and the cheese was White American (what, no provolone or whiz? stwike 3). The fries were Sysco's industrial brown bag finest...meh.

It wasn't terrible... but I guess it'll do in a pinch if you're craving for some man meat in a bun. Next time, I'll take the 15 minute ride up to Roy's.

Gloria, thanks for asking... but I will survive.

Next!

Ansley Mall
1544 Piedmont Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 873-6625

Fox Sports Grill

I rather put a "Grill" in my mouth before I eat anything off of one at this joint.

3 reasons why you should pack heat to this joint...

1. It's in Atlantic Station.
2. I had better "Service" at a Jack Shack.
3. Lead to the head is better than a heart attack from that slop.

These stweets are filled with...

Chicken Bones, wannabe Thugs and first dates from eHarmony.

Something is Creepin in my pouch and needs to Come up...

FLUSH.

261 19th St
Atlantic Station
Atlanta, GA 30363
(404) 207-1369

www.foxsportsgrill.com/atlanta