Tostones Latin Cafe

Taco Bell. Muerto.

Alvarado's. Difunto.

Tostones. Vaya con Dios.

The 3 strike rule always applies to a restaurant in the same location... Especially, when it comes to the same theme/cuisine. Tostones is the newest reincarnation in this cursed location. No one knows why this space is cursed because it isn't that bad of a location. There's a bunch of restos within walking distance that have been around for years and making money. Plus, a brand spanking new giant QT just opened across the street. Talk about free advertising from all the traffic that goes through there. They spent a decent amount of dinero to change the look and feel of the place. It's definitely nicer inside since Alvarado's. But how is the food?

The menu includes hot dogs, hamburgers, tacos, tortas, Cubano, tostones, burrito bowl, maicitos, quesadillas, arepas, salchipapas, pinchos kabob, and even a fucking chicken finger basket! It's basically a plethora of trashy and grubby eats. Their two items that they highlight are the tostones of course and Cuban sandwich. Cubano? Fuck yeah! Well, that's all you have to say, ese... I'm totally down syndrone with that. Let's drool, er, I mean let's eat...

Cuban Sandwich. Looked pretty decent, huh? I'm getting a stiffy. The bread is nicely pressed but it ain't no Cuban bread but it'll do. The fillers looked decent, too. Can this be a contender? Only one way to find out. First bite, got a huge dollop of mayo squirting out. WTF, yo?! There is no fucking mayo in a Cubano. Period. At least they kept the lettuce and tomatoes on the side, gracias a Dios. It needed more pickles and mustard. Overall, it wouldn't be a bad Cubano if there wasn't any mayo in it. Kinda disappointed that one item can ruin such a classic sandwich. Keep tweaking it and you may convince the pouch that it's better than that Crappy Cuban on 14th Street... Does anyone even know if that dump is still open? Does anyone care? Next...

Toston Ropa Vieja. Marinated beef w/cheese, sofrito. I lurv me some old clothes, they are so tasty... Especially, soiled underpants. More skid marks the better... But this didn't smell funky enough. This meat didn't cook long enough so it was still too tough and not even a hint of a tomato stew base. I guess the spoonful of sofrito was there to trick people into thinking that it has been stewing all day. I asked them if they make their ropa vieja early in the morning so that it can develope that amazing, homey, cozy, comfy, taste that only an abuela can make... And of course, they fed me a big fat lie and said "Si". Look at this thing, it's like pulled pork from a can with some crappy chow chow on top. The tostones were ok, a bit dry but passable. This is the resto's specialty? Christ, who are you kidding? Have you not look at the previous business before you? They failed because they fucking sucked a big fat dick and y'all are lubing up to do the same.

Seriously, yo... Based on the two best dishes that they offer, they gotta do better than the slop the previous concepts/owners dished out in the past. Once again, for the second time in one week, I see owners of a brand new spot just sitting around and pulling their puds. Get in the goddamn kitchen and do it right. This is not your own personal man cave.

Until this days old "Latin Cafe" do a 180 in the kitchen, it's just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode once again in this cursed space. Wake up motherfuckers, you can do better than this.

Fair Rating.

5499 Bufored Hwy
Doraville, GA 30340
770-936-3000
http://tostoneslatincafe.net/