Dumpling Master

What?! For fuck sake... Not another goddamn franchise in this one horse town. Wait, it's a dumpling chain you say? Well, slap my lard ass and call me Sally or is that Sa-rr-y. But does this town really need another mediocre slutty Chino dump for gwailos? Whether we need it or not, this dumpling franchise has been breeding like fucking rabbits. Opening 7 locations within a year's time... Peachtree City, Alpharetta, Chambodia, Dickhater, Buford, Athens and Snellville... And another 4 in the works. Just by the strategic placement of each location, you already know their business model was to cater towards the roundeye demographics. The Pouch already know this ain't gonna be authentic because there were no misspellings on their website or menu. Their website declares, "Where every visit promises culinary excellence."... Where one of the Chef's pick was the Edamame on the menu. If it was an authentic joint, patrons wouldn't be using a QR code to order factory assembly line grub. The menu is the same at all locations but I highly doubt it would taste the same across all locations like any McDonald's worldwide. Keeping it simple is great for consistency but there's no way in hell each location's kitchen staff will have mastered the same cooking techniques and execution... Unless you press a button and wait for the ding. I waited a long time to make my initial visit because the Pouch's instinct has never failed this obeast underlord. 

Fuck me, let's go finally take a first look and taste at the cursed location in Decatur which recently was home to a Pho 24... Will they truly be the Master of Dumpling or will the Marsupial Pouch take a Master Dump...

Definitely the work of a corporate designer for the social media and wannabe influencer crowd. They do have some of the greatest hits for their dim sum. The Decatur location soft opened back in July and was giving out free milk teas... Let's just say I would not get another if they were in perpetual soft opening. It was bad enough for me not to take a pic.

Appz, dumpz, noodz, flied lice and stir flies... The two items that caught my eyeball instantly was the chowfun and mapo tofu... You know that shit will be on the Pouch's docket.

Har Gaw Shrimp Dumpling (6), $7.95. Don't be fooled be the illusion, these were tiny like a baby squirrel just got castrated. The dough was a bit thick and the shrimp was flavorless. I drown them in soy and vinegar and it barely made a difference. Maybe I'm just spoiled by Best BBQ's ginormous flavorful har gaos and compare them to everyone else's version. Skip.

Pork Wonton with Chili Sauce (8), $8.95. What genius picked out this plate for this dish? The vibrant red chili sauce was barely noticeable on the dark plate. I picked up a wonton and wonder why it felt so hard between my chop sticks... I took a nibble and it was cold as ice. They literally took this out of the fridge like a premade carpaccio and spoon chili sauce over it. Bro, at least shock it in boiling water for 5 seconds to trick me. I told the older dude (maybe a manager?), he took it back and came back out with the same exact dish a minute later... WTF! Old Boy literally nuked it and pretended like I wouldn't notice. The dried out hard skin wasn't a dead give away at all. Fuck this shit, yo! 

Soup Dumplings, Pork (6), $8.95. Oh fuck me, now... I can already tell how they will taste by just one glance. The pleats were acceptable but look at how thick these mofos were... I think they used these as prophylactics in the 1600's. With skin that thick, one would think it would hold the soup inside like a Stanley Tumbler. Nope... Wrong again. It barely had any soup inside. Took a nibble on the chewy top and looked inside, not even a puff of steam to convince me it was steamed recently. The only "soup" was just moisture that cooled down and pooled around the marble sized pork filling at the bottom. If you have any leftovers, use them after a bountiful night at Johnny's Hideaway, these Jimmy hats will guarantee to keep out any STD variant even Herpes Simplex 10. What a disappointment but not unexpected.

Pan Fried Dumplings, Seafood & Pork (8), $8.75. What a snoozer... For the price of admission, you can get two big bags of premium frozen gyozas at any Asian markets and make them at home and it would taste 10 times better. Their dumpling sauce was quite lovely, though... The dumps not so much. I looked around and the gringos were devouring these like wolves chewing off their own leg in a jaw trap. Hey, more power to them, tripods.

Shen Jian Bao, Pork (5), $9.95. So, if my fuzzy math is correct, each bao cost $2.19 a piece... Nevermind. These Shanghai style baos are on the smaller size than a normal pan fried baozi. They are known for their crispy bottom, soft doughy top and juicy savory pork filling but it was barely browned. They are passable but at $2 a piece, not really worth it.

Shen Jian Bao, Beef (5), $9.95. The only difference is the color, they are slightly pink which may put off some roundeyes. These were browned a bit better with a hint of crispiness but the beef filling was dense and not juicy at all. Skip these.

Pork Wonton Noodle Soup, $9.95. The noodles used were the wrong ones but the broth was actually quite decent and the wontons were acceptable even though they used the cheaper wrapper, wrapper made with egg is preferred. This was a pretty big bowl of noodle soup and it was quite satisfying but if they had the correct thin wonton noodles this woulda been a winner.

Green Beans with Garlic, $11.95. These were pretty good but it needed a lot more crispy garlic and they didn't use ground pork bits. The pork makes a huge difference in this dish but the color was vibrant and it had a nice toothy snap with each bite. The portion size should have been a bit more generous at this price point.

Beef Chow Fun, $15.95. I literally asked the Chinese server if the chow fun was the real deal and he nodded yes... Then this came out. Wha da fuk is this slop? It looks like a beef chowfun but the ingredients were all wrong. The thin ass noodles should never be used in this dish. It needs to be the wide rice noodles so it can absorb all the flavors. The dull color is evidence that they didn't use dark soy or not enough. Red onion is fine but yellow onion is preferred for the sweetness. The bok choy is ok but not necessary. But the bean sprouts is a must and needed more of it, a lot more. The beef was not sliced across the grain and it was chewy as fuck. It wasn't seasoned at all. This is one of the worst chow fun I have ever had and for $16 this was an absolute horror show. But I shouldn't expect a properly executed Cantonese dish at a Shanghai style joint. Avoid this at all costs.

Mapo Tofu, $12.95. WOW... Can this be true? Did they redeemed themselves after that shit show of a chow fun? This mapo tofu dish sure did. Look at the vibrant red color... Let's take a closer look...

Wow, this looked legit... And for the taste test. The flavor was good and it actually have some heat and spiciness to the sauce. Only thing missing was the pork bits. Just like the green beans, it needs the fatty savory bits of pork to round off the dish. But it was still a good dish and for $13, it was worth the price of admission. 

This dump shop is not authentic by any means but you don't expect it to be at a franchise joint. No one fucking expects gourmet Chino at PF Chang's or Panda Express but you would think the dumplings would be good at a place called Dumpling Master. Sadly, the dumps were probably the worst part of the menu. The green beans and mapo tofu were good but it's not enough to get me back here. But for everyone else, this will do.  

Time for the Pouch to take a master dump... Splash.

Flush.

1248 Clairmont Rd

Suite 1A

Decatur, GA 30030

https://dumplingmaster.us/

Nanbei Gourmet

Over the last year, the Pouch has been on a homestyle Asian comfort grub and street food kick. Every new and existing gringo resto has been such a snoozefest with nothing exciting, just the same old generic items on every menu... It's like they're still stuck in the COVID era and trying to compete for the same demographics with a limited menu but who can charge more for the same slop and what dummy will pay for it. There's no honor in paying more for the same dish pretending to support local businesses... I'm all for supporting local but no one cares about bragging rights anymore except Yelpers. I have mostly passed on American restos because I was tired of being insulted dish after dish as if I was reading the children's menu. Shit, I have ordered from the children's menu on a few occasions because the main menu was full of crap. This fat overlord wants excitement, diversity, quality and value these days.  

The Chinatown food court exemplifies these traits and has been so consistent over the years that it's been on my regular rotation for over 2 decades. I have my go-to's but I have always noticed why there was an unfilled stall in the back corner for such a length of time. Then suddenly a new place popped up and I took a gander at their menu. It was a mixed of Chino cuisines, Sichuan, Cantonese, Lanzhou, Taiwan and Slutty-Chino. But what really got me excited was the prices... They were substantially less than all the other stalls... How and why but long story short, this joint has been on my regular rotation for the last few months and if I can't find anything else new and interesting to eat, this will be my back up plan. I have been waiting to review this newcomer because I didn't want any Yelpers to flash mob this joint and ruin it like they ruin everything else that they touch. Since, the cat is out of the bag... Let's take a look at all the dishes I have tried so far and some over and over again... 

 

This is their new menu, cut down by half from the original menu which was pretty extensive. Since, they have been getting more popular and sometimes even a line to order, they have raised their prices from 10-30% which is pretty high but still worth the price of admission. 

First snack visit, test run on a few items.

Shanghai Juicy Steamed Pork Bun (8), $8. They were so juicy that they shat all over themselves, all the soup leaked out. The skin was too thick and the pork mixture was too chunky and unseasoned. This was such a bad start that I pretty much gave up on them on the first dish... Until the next dish.

Dry-Fried French Beans with Minced Pork and Preserved Vegetables, $9 (now $10). This dry fried green beans was so good and the portion was generous. This won me back instantly. It's pretty hard not to order this on every visit.

Beef Chowfun, $9 (now $10). There is no place in da ATL that you can get a quality beef chowfun for $10. The $1 increase is nothing for the huge portion size. The flavor and seasoning and correct ingredients make this one of my favorites. I have ordered this pretty much on every visit.

Second visit, I wanted to try a mix of dishes which turned out very satisfying.

Beef Tendon & Tripe in Chili Sauce, $9 (now $11). I can't say this enough, their portions are very generous to the price ratio. Look at this beast, it was awesome and spicy enough even for my volcano mouth. The balance of both cuts was perfect and the seasoning was spot on. You get a bit of both in each bite.

Beef Noodle Soup, $9 (now $11). They used to have a lamb noodle soup on the menu but was never available on my visits. So, I settled for the beef noodz. This was a giant bowl of soup and tons of big chunks of meat. Fresh egg noodles are usually used in this dish, but I was curious of what type of noodles were under there, so I mixed it up a bit... 

Holy shit, they were using the knife sliced wide noodles... Albeit not fresh made but still I was so psyched for this. Wide sliced noodles just grabs onto the soup better than thinner noodles. I loved the texture of everything in this bowl... The big chunks of meat paired perfectly with the wide noodles. The soup was rich and complex and full of flavor that will satisfy the pouch during a cold wet day. For $11, it's still worth it.

Fish & Eggplant with Plum Sauce, $12 (now $13). This was an interesting combo, lightly fried fish fillets stir fried with garlicky Japanese eggplant with a light sweet "Plum" sauce. This was very tasty. I loved the crisp crunch of the flaky fish and then the soft savory eggplant with a hint of sweetness. I wished they made this portion as large as all the other dishes, still a very respectable portion.

Wait, did I forget to order the beef chowfun? Oh, that's right, I switched it for the beef noodle soup... Which was a nice trade off.

Third visit, I had to get a traditional spicy dish and the beef chowfun again.

Mapo Tofu, $9 ($10). Wow, look at that vibrant deep red color! This already looked legit. The tofu cube size, the pebbles of pork were spot on. What about the spicy level, Pouch... Did it pass the obeast test? Fuck yeah, it did. When you poured it over rice, the rice instantly absorbed the red chili oil and gave you the full experience with each bite. This was a perfectly executed mapo tofu. 

Dry Fried Green Beans, $10. They shortened the name on the new menu, good... And it still tasty great. Totally worth it for the large portion.

Dry-Fried Beef Rice Noodles, $10. I can't be away from this amazing dish for too long. $10 is still the cheapest around in this town. Even HK BBQ next door is charging like $13+ for this dish. They were tasty but for a few dollars less, I can this incredible beef noodz only a few feet away.

Tientsin Steamed Pork Bun (6), $6. They are pretty fat and the price stayed the same... All their dumps are like $1 each. These were fine, nothing to write home about. The dough is pretty thick and gummy and the meatball inside was smaller than it appears. The flavor was acceptable but I would skip all their dumpling dishes and put the loot into other dishes yet to be tasted.

On the most recent visit, I was surprised by the new smaller menu format and price increases. They kept their most popular and regularly ordered dishes. They removed a lot of scary sounding dishes and a bunch of slutty-Chino Americanized dishes. Which was a good move. Kept the menu doable and quickly executable. There was one classic Sichuan dish that I wanted to wait to try and today was the day.

Sliced Fish in Hot Chili Oil, $13 (previous $12). Look at that crazy deep red color, I'm in wuv already. You just can't get a ginormous bowl of spicy fish anywhere for $13. This bowl would cost you close to $30 anywhere else and they barely give you enough fish to go around with 4 people let alone 1 fat fuck like me. I was scooping up the fish into my rice bowl and more fish was popping up from the bottom. I kept eating more fish and more fish was floating to the top like my dead goldfishes in my aquarium when I was a young Augustus Gloop. The fish was endless, it was amazing. I have never seen this much fish in this dish anywhere else, ever. This is a fucking keeper. I ate this dish for 3 days.

Fatty Pork (Belly) with Pickled Cabbage, $12 (previous $11). This is one of those dishes that got lost in translation. The real Chino version is ridiculously tasty and pleasant to look at. This dish was a sad sack of hamster vomit. I swear, if I threw up on top of this, it wouldn't show. It would just blend right in and may even make it taste better. We all love pork belly but not fucking boiled slices of gelatinous fatty mush. There was barely any pork, it was all belly fat. The real Chino pickled veg is green and tastes amazing but look at this sow smegma. It was too fermented and it shouldn't be drenched in chili oil... Someone was smoking crack when this order was submitted. Hell, even a FOB wouldn't eat this shit... This would be more torture than being smuggled inside a cargo container in the hull of an oil tanker for 2 months. Just don't fucking do it, ever. They let me down on this dish... Fuck, they should have removed this dish on the menu revamp. 

Bok Choy (Shanghai) with Mushrooms, $10 (previous $9). Naturally, I was going to order the incredible dry fried green beans like usual but I wanted to be adventurous and got the classic bok choy and shrooms. And I'm glad I did. Since, I got the fish in chili oil and that disgusting fatty pork belly, I needed something refreshing and clean and not heavy like the other dishes. This was a perfect balance. Nice big portion, too, naturally.

Beef Chowfun, $10. I just can't get enough of this dish. It is just so goddam satisfying.

This is one of the best Chinatown food court stalls let alone any food court. The prices have increased but the quality and portions have not. I love this place and posting this review is a gamble for my well-feed-being. So, don't fuck this up for me and everybody else... Yeah, I talking about you fucking Yelpers... Go to Panda Expwess, Tin Drum or PF Chang's, mofos. I was gonna say Hawkers, too, but I kinda like them in a slutty kinda way.

5385 New Peachtree Rd

Chamblee, GA 30340