Dumpling Master

What?! For fuck sake... Not another goddamn franchise in this one horse town. Wait, it's a dumpling chain you say? Well, slap my lard ass and call me Sally or is that Sa-rr-y. But does this town really need another mediocre slutty Chino dump for gwailos? Whether we need it or not, this dumpling franchise has been breeding like fucking rabbits. Opening 7 locations within a year's time... Peachtree City, Alpharetta, Chambodia, Dickhater, Buford, Athens and Snellville... And another 4 in the works. Just by the strategic placement of each location, you already know their business model was to cater towards the roundeye demographics. The Pouch already know this ain't gonna be authentic because there were no misspellings on their website or menu. Their website declares, "Where every visit promises culinary excellence."... Where one of the Chef's pick was the Edamame on the menu. If it was an authentic joint, patrons wouldn't be using a QR code to order factory assembly line grub. The menu is the same at all locations but I highly doubt it would taste the same across all locations like any McDonald's worldwide. Keeping it simple is great for consistency but there's no way in hell each location's kitchen staff will have mastered the same cooking techniques and execution... Unless you press a button and wait for the ding. I waited a long time to make my initial visit because the Pouch's instinct has never failed this obeast underlord. 

Fuck me, let's go finally take a first look and taste at the cursed location in Decatur which recently was home to a Pho 24... Will they truly be the Master of Dumpling or will the Marsupial Pouch take a Master Dump...

Definitely the work of a corporate designer for the social media and wannabe influencer crowd. They do have some of the greatest hits for their dim sum. The Decatur location soft opened back in July and was giving out free milk teas... Let's just say I would not get another if they were in perpetual soft opening. It was bad enough for me not to take a pic.

Appz, dumpz, noodz, flied lice and stir flies... The two items that caught my eyeball instantly was the chowfun and mapo tofu... You know that shit will be on the Pouch's docket.

Har Gaw Shrimp Dumpling (6), $7.95. Don't be fooled be the illusion, these were tiny like a baby squirrel just got castrated. The dough was a bit thick and the shrimp was flavorless. I drown them in soy and vinegar and it barely made a difference. Maybe I'm just spoiled by Best BBQ's ginormous flavorful har gaos and compare them to everyone else's version. Skip.

Pork Wonton with Chili Sauce (8), $8.95. What genius picked out this plate for this dish? The vibrant red chili sauce was barely noticeable on the dark plate. I picked up a wonton and wonder why it felt so hard between my chop sticks... I took a nibble and it was cold as ice. They literally took this out of the fridge like a premade carpaccio and spoon chili sauce over it. Bro, at least shock it in boiling water for 5 seconds to trick me. I told the older dude (maybe a manager?), he took it back and came back out with the same exact dish a minute later... WTF! Old Boy literally nuked it and pretended like I wouldn't notice. The dried out hard skin wasn't a dead give away at all. Fuck this shit, yo! 

Soup Dumplings, Pork (6), $8.95. Oh fuck me, now... I can already tell how they will taste by just one glance. The pleats were acceptable but look at how thick these mofos were... I think they used these as prophylactics in the 1600's. With skin that thick, one would think it would hold the soup inside like a Stanley Tumbler. Nope... Wrong again. It barely had any soup inside. Took a nibble on the chewy top and looked inside, not even a puff of steam to convince me it was steamed recently. The only "soup" was just moisture that cooled down and pooled around the marble sized pork filling at the bottom. If you have any leftovers, use them after a bountiful night at Johnny's Hideaway, these Jimmy hats will guarantee to keep out any STD variant even Herpes Simplex 10. What a disappointment but not unexpected.

Pan Fried Dumplings, Seafood & Pork (8), $8.75. What a snoozer... For the price of admission, you can get two big bags of premium frozen gyozas at any Asian markets and make them at home and it would taste 10 times better. Their dumpling sauce was quite lovely, though... The dumps not so much. I looked around and the gringos were devouring these like wolves chewing off their own leg in a jaw trap. Hey, more power to them, tripods.

Shen Jian Bao, Pork (5), $9.95. So, if my fuzzy math is correct, each bao cost $2.19 a piece... Nevermind. These Shanghai style baos are on the smaller size than a normal pan fried baozi. They are known for their crispy bottom, soft doughy top and juicy savory pork filling but it was barely browned. They are passable but at $2 a piece, not really worth it.

Shen Jian Bao, Beef (5), $9.95. The only difference is the color, they are slightly pink which may put off some roundeyes. These were browned a bit better with a hint of crispiness but the beef filling was dense and not juicy at all. Skip these.

Pork Wonton Noodle Soup, $9.95. The noodles used were the wrong ones but the broth was actually quite decent and the wontons were acceptable even though they used the cheaper wrapper, wrapper made with egg is preferred. This was a pretty big bowl of noodle soup and it was quite satisfying but if they had the correct thin wonton noodles this woulda been a winner.

Green Beans with Garlic, $11.95. These were pretty good but it needed a lot more crispy garlic and they didn't use ground pork bits. The pork makes a huge difference in this dish but the color was vibrant and it had a nice toothy snap with each bite. The portion size should have been a bit more generous at this price point.

Beef Chow Fun, $15.95. I literally asked the Chinese server if the chow fun was the real deal and he nodded yes... Then this came out. Wha da fuk is this slop? It looks like a beef chowfun but it ingredients are all wrong. The thin ass noodles should never be used in this dish. It needs to be the wide rice noodles so it can absorb all the flavors. The dull color is evidence that they didn't use dark soy or not enough. Red onion is fine but yellow onion is preferred for the sweetness. The bok choy is ok but not necessary. But the bean sprouts is a must and needed more of it, a lot more. The beef was not sliced across the grain and it was chewy as fuck. It wasn't seasoned at all. This is one of the worst chow fun I have ever had and for $16 this was an absolute horror show. But I shouldn't expect a properly executed Cantonese dish at a Shanghai style joint. Avoid this at all costs.

Mapo Tofu, $12.95. WOW... Can this be true? Did they redeemed themselves after that shit show of a chow fun? This mapo tofu dish sure did. Look at the vibrant red color... Let's take a closer look...

Wow, this looked legit... And for the taste test. The flavor was good and it actually have some heat and spiciness to the sauce. Only thing missing was the pork bits. Just like the green beans, it needs the fatty savory bits of pork to round off the dish. But it was still a good dish and for $13, it was worth the price of admission. 

This is not authentic by any means but you don't expect it to be at a franchise joint. No one fucking expects gourmet Chino at PF Chang's or Panda Express but you would think the dumplings would be good at a place called Dumpling Master. Sadly, the dumps were probably the worst part of the menu. The green beans and mapo tofu were good but it's not enough to get me back here. But for everyone else, this will do.  

Time for the Pouch to take a master dump... Splash.

Flush.

1248 Clairmont Rd

Suite 1A

Decatur, GA 30030

https://dumplingmaster.us/