Tuesday, July 22, 2014

1910 Public House

Who knew Sprig had a semi hipster sister resto way out in nowhere where the children of the corn dwell? Come to think of it, Malachai and Isaac are fucking hipsters in disguise! It kinda reminded me a bit of Nashville but without the hipsters and fake beards. The crowd is more local yocals because seriously, how many people do you know who lives up in Lilburn are cool, trendy and hip? Your cousins don't count. But this town is literally a single block, one stop sign and you're outside town limits... And this resto/market takes up half the block. Let's go see what's cooking in Amish country and please god let me get the fuck outta here in one piece.

Fried Green Tomato. Good effort, nice crispy cornmeal crust but the entire thing needed seasoning aka salt and pepper. The chipotle aioli gave it some pop for flavor but without it, it was kinda bland. It's not bad, I think it tasted better than it really was because I was really hungry.

Country Fried Steak. Nice heaping of fattening goodness. I totally blank out for a second and thought it was fried cheekan on first sight until the first bite. Surprise chickenhead, it was tenderized cubed steak inside. It was a nice piece of fried steak but the saw mill gravy was the star of the show, they should really serve this with a big fluffy biscuit on the side. The mash taters were mash taters, the green beans were standard issue and spot on. A tasty southern dish done right.

Smoked Pork Chop. Thick cut bone in pork chop cooked spot on medium minus with a touch of pink. And unlike some BBQ joints that claims their meats are smoked, this really had the smell and taste of a smoked chop. The peas and carrots at first glanced seemed like it came from the Kroger frozen aisle but this was the real deal made from scratch. It was fresh as can be with that inherent crunch that can not be found in the common household freezer bag combo. The mash taters were mash taters. Another well executed southernish dish that delivers without all the extra bling we find in all the other modern southern restos these days.

1910 PH Burger. Sometimes all you really want is a juicy burger cooked to temp... And this didn't disappoint. It was cooked spot on at mid- rare but the bun really needed a quick brush of butter and toasting. That extra crunch of a toasted bun makes a big different in taste and also helps to capture the juices and not turn the bun into mush with all the other condiments applied on to said bun. I have been becoming more of a burger purist in that a great burger need not any cheese, I think it takes away from the natural flavor of the meat, but that's just me, today. Overall this was a pretty good burger. Sundays they have a burger and draft for $10, fries are $2 extra. Skip the starch and just get another cocktail instead.

Goat Cheese & Prosciutto Flatbread. Pretty much an after school special snack with caramelized onions, mushrooms, goat cheese & prosciutto on grilled naan bread. This was part of their resto week special which is why it looked like it came from the kiddie menu. Not bad, decent flavor, they coulda melted the goat cheese a lil, though. If this came outta an Easy Bake, then I'll be impressed.

Smothered Chicken. Also, part of their resto week menu but just a smaller portion than the regular menu's. A semi thin grilled chicken breast topped with carmelized onion ,bourbon peaches, vegetable medley & rice. It was an ok dish that anyone could make in a wok but the rice tasted weird to me... A taste I haven't tasted since the days of yore when I was a poor college kid making instant rice in the microwave. Any rice that has been rehydrated always looked broken or cracked and unusually bland... Not saying it was instant rice because they pride themselves on fresh local ingredients but it had all the characteristics of one. It's funny because Cafe Alsace promised fresh haricot vert but I was once served olive drab canned green beans that weren't even frenched... What a crock of frogshit. But we all know there is no real French food in this town. Anyhoo, this dish sounded better on paper than on a plate.

Chipotle Shrimp Tacos. Who doesn't have tacos on their menu these days in the land of fusion confusion, it doesn't even matter what type of cuisine the resto is, tacos has to be on it. Eskimo whale blubber tacos are to die for. This was a chipotle seasoned shrimp topped with fire roasted corn salsa on a corn torilla. Came out looking pretty impressive until I looked at the single ply of corn tortilla... Everyone knows that a reputable taco should have 2 ply like a reputable toilet paper because they break apart from all the sweat from the sauce, salsa, protein juices.. Imagine what the corn tortillas has to deal with. At least grilled them off a lil to give them more tensile strength. The flavors were decent, the shrimp had a lil spicy kick to it but definitely not spicy on any level that's worthy. Overall, a tasty lil filler at the bar when pounding cocks and chasing tails.

Chocolate Cheesecake. Chocolate and cheesecake... That's all she wrote. Oh, and some chocolate drizzle like some kid went to town with some crayons. One bite was more than enough for me.

I like the place, friendly staff, decent and consistent grub, ok cocktails and beers, cute out in nowhere location... Works for me but don't know when I'll be back again because I feel like a tourist out in the woods. Might have to revisit Sprig soon... Closer to civilization.

107 Main St.
Lilburn, GA
(770) 564-6911

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Blue Ribbon Grill

If Johnny's Hideaway ever had a sister restaurant... This would be it. Wait, they don't own this joint do they? That would be a frightening and intriguing thought. This was like real adventurous eating... Not because of exotic ingredients but because of erotic exchanges between the blue hairs at the bar.
I have passed by this place through the years but never actually gone inside to examine the specimens within. This place is fucking awesome. Kinda like discovering a rubber in your wallet when a hot girl wants to bang you in the toilet unexpectedly... Hell, what am I saying, old people have no fear of dying and they don't need no stinking condoms. They barely have any sensitivity downstairs let alone any consistent blood flow, so they need every nerve ending they can feel to perform the job. Speaking of barebacking it... I guess it's time to sample some of the chum up in this piece. Why am I doing this to myself, again... Oh, yeah, for my one loyal reader! I should get a Purple Heart after this...

Jumbo Buffalo Wings. Nice that you can split the style of wings to be had. Spicy hot wasn't all that spicy, it was pretty pathetic actually. I think it was carrot puree sauce. The other was lemon pepper, if you wanna call it that. It was like under seasoned dry fried wings with a squirt of lemon from a bottle with a couple flakes of black pepper from the paper packet you get with to-go orders. The wings weren't jumbo but more the standard mid size. It's pretty pedestrian but I ate it all anyways. I'm such a careless fat fuck.

Chicken Pot Pie. OK, when this came out, I was kinda impressed, especially, coming from a place like this. They actually made this puff pastry plate bowl thinger. I know your first thought is, well, Panera has their bread bowl slop... And yes, this is not much different. But it doesn't mean that I didn't liked it... Even though the pot pie filling was salty as shit and pasty and kinda tasted like it was from a can, I was still intrigued by the edible plate bowl presentation. I need to make some edible puff pastry underpants or depends... Now, that would be a whole new meaning of eating out a chick.

Grilled Reuben on Marbled Rye, golden brown onion strings. Do I dare to even order a New York staple in this dump? Do they even know what corned beef is or marbled rye? I wasn't in the mood for a greasy burger so a greasy reuben it was. It came out looking ok I guess... Took one bite and I was right, not a real reuben, just a mediocre knockoff. I do respect them for subbing out the brown bag fries for some of their onion strings which were nothing special but it woulda been good as a burger topping. I like the effort but this will never happen again.

This place is a trip... A time warp of sorts. The staff is attentive and the menu is very standard pub grub with a couple of visual surprises. Taste is not their main objective here... Their selection of classic and trendy cocktails from the 80's still lives on for the low low price of $7.25. After a couple lemon drops and cosmos, I'll be feeling frisky and in the mood for a cheekan pot pie the size of a naval carrier like the gaggle of haggles at the bar. I can totally score here without cleaning out my stash of blow unlike at those other trendy nightclubs and the hawks that circle around. Well... Maybe. I have been dryer than the sabertooths at the bar. Bartender, another cosmo, pweez... Then I'll go home and cry myself to sleep.

4006 Lavista Rd
Tucker, GA 30084
(770) 491-1570

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Smoke Belly

Who doesn't like a new BBQ joint in town? It is always a nice welcome so we don't have to drive way out to bumblefuck just to have a taste test... But should we really trust anything that says BBQ in Buckhead? I want to but the low information Buckhead bimbos could probably care less about the grub vs. the scene to show off their new sundresses and trend of the week open toe sandals... And don't forget to wear a thong that's darker than your sundress, so everyone can admire it. But I digress.. The space is built out nicely, there's a lot of space and a lot of horny broads up in this piece (there I go again!). Bros, come dressed in your best and pressed triple pleated khakis, pastel Polos and boat shoes with the knotted leather laces.. Oh, and don't forget the croakies for your Aviators. You know chicks dig that shit, like putty in your A&F cargo shorts. Ok, enough of making fun of the Buckhead militia (even though, it's so much fun!)... Let's get to the main act.

Pork Rinds. House freebies, guess you can't really complain about them... But you know I will, though. They're a little stale from sitting around for a bit too long but decent. They really need to be made to order and arrive at the table still popping and crackling, it's the only way to eat them. But it's a nice gesture.

Fried Pickled Okra, bbq ranch sauce. Is this from the kid's menu? The crust/batter barely held on to the okra. They were not terrible, just needed another minzie in the fryer. If the okra was indeed pickled, the fryer oil musta reversed all the pickling process. This is a scientific break thru, y'all, kinda like reverse osmosis but turning something pickled back to it's natural state. 

Sauces. Sweet, Savory, Carolina Gold, Cherry Cola, White, Carolina Red, Spicy. There were more sauces at the sauce station but how many sauces do you need, seriously. With all these options, you would think one sauce would be the rock star... Sadly, none of these sauces, not one, was even worth mentioning. Some were so revolting it would make a billy goat puke... And those fuckers will eat anything. Just looking at this pic is making my bowels twitch.

Deluxe. Pulled pork, sliced brisket, mac n cheese, bourbon baked sweet potato souffle. My eyeballs laser beamed right to the sliced brisket.. On the look out for that exquisite bark and pink smoke ring. Where are my 3-D glasses because it was such a chintzy portion of scraps, barely a slice and a half of dried out baked brisket with no evidence that it was even smoked for 10 minzies. It was almost as chewy as beef jerky. But here's the real kicker in your nads, they don't tell you about the hidden charge for sliced vs. chopped brisket. That extra dollar sneaks into the bill at the end of this nightmare hoping no one will notice. The pulled pork was dry as well but at least they give you a semi decent portion. The mac n cheese was cold and congealed and it was akin to eating white cheddar Cheez-It. The potato souffle had so much brown sugar in it that it basically liquified and made it into almost a soup. The pickles were just sliced cucumber sprayed with vinegar, Massengill perhaps. The toast was spot on, though. None of the meats had any flavor, how does that happen? This was quite baffling.

Baby Back Ribs. One look is all you need to know how it was prepared. Fat Matt's anyone? If I'm paying top dollar for BBQ ribs, I expect it to be smoked from beginning to end... Not poached off in liquid and then briefly tossed into a smoker to pretend it was smoked slow and low. You might get away with this in Vermont but not in the South. These were not fall off the bone tender, pieces of it seemed like it was super glued to the bone. How many times must I try to saw the meat off with a knife? Once again, how is this devoid of all flavor? It's a real mind bender. Fuck it, I give up.. I'm breaking out my smartphone and pulling up my McRib locator app, STAT...

Brunswick Stew. The test of a competent Que joint... With the luck we have been having with the rest of the menu, I'm not very confident. The color was off already, the sniff test... Whoa, what is that smell? First, bite... Salty, tart and tasted like it was drowned in liquid smoke. There's no mistaking liquid smoke, it's like that gasoline burn in bad cut up coke you get from a dumpy club. I've had really underwhelming stew before whether it's way too sweet, too thick, too watery, wrong ingredients, etc, etc... But this was probably the worst version I have ever tasted, I didn't even finish half of it. That's a first for the pouch. The salt level was unbearable. It's not that difficult to make even a half-ass stew with recipes found on the interwebs, hell, I'll even settle for Guy Fieri's version... Ok, maybe not that low rent but still, is anyone tasting this food up in this piece? Perhaps, Mikey? He'll like anything.

When I saw a blog post praising this place for their salmon and trout (no meat whatsoever), I knew something was fishy. I was really hoping to have another decent BBQ option within close proximity but it seems like the food here is just for background noise, the real reason you come here is for the trim scenery. With so much ass for the picking, who really cares about the pork butt... You can get some of that at the Pool Hall  or 5 Paces down the street. I have no doubt this place will slay it with their targeted demographics... No doubt.

Smoke Belly, mission accomplished.

128 E. Andrews
Atlanta, GA

Monday, June 30, 2014


Let's take a quick lookie at the new Octopus Bar peep's more upscale sequel... Lusca. Love the two octopus murals. I like how they opened up the space more which makes it brighter vs Bluefin's old set up. I also like how they have valet for the back parking lot. How Bluefin lasted that long is anyone's guess but they were just not pushing themselves to set themselves apart (their food was just a snoozefest for the prices they were charging)... Hopefully, Lusca will standout based on what they're doing with Octo Bar.

Fried California Anchovies, fennel, lemon. Nice little dish. Anchovies are so under-rated these days, such a great little fish. I love eating whole fish, so much more flavor than dusty old fillet-o-fish. The fried lemons were cute but it should really come with fresh slices of lemon, too. The taste is so much better with a few squirts of lemon juice... Pump pump. Just don't get it in her eyes.

Amaebi, Kampachi, Isaki (grunt). All seafood prepared well except the rice was a lil too moist and pasty. Temp on fish was spot on, not too cold nor warm. The quality of the fish was a lil above average but for the high premium price (it ain't cheap to eat a couple pieces of nigiri), I was expecting Sushi Nakazawa quality. Sent in the amaebi tails to be fried off too, but the kitchen said it was unsanitary, that's a first for me when every other respectable sushi joint will do this and it's really an expected practice. But it's all good, no need to make a big deal over some tail. There's always more fish in the sea.

Rock Crab, avocado, pain au levain, keylime, scallion. Tasty little dish, plenty of crab and avocado but the bread was toasted a little too much to the point of almost burnt on some parts which made it hard to chew and bitter. The portion control was out of control when I saw the next table's portion was at least 50% larger and no, they didn't order two. Weird but whatever, these are the kind of kinks that a newish resto should be aware of. Consistency, baybee, consistency.

Sea Urchin Tagliatelle, bacon, breadcrumbs, lemon, chili flake. I love anything with uni, anything, it could be on dog shit and I would eat it. A dish made popular by none other than Eric Ripert from Le Bernardin, I make a version that's fucking rad as well... But this version needs a revision. The big chunk of uni on top was great but the choice of pasta was poor. They need to toss their noodle in some neutral oil to keep from sticking and gumming up because this pile of carbs seemed like it was held together with Super Glue. I literally cut this thing in half with a steak knife and it held together like a piece of medium well protein. I have had fruitcake that fell apart easier. This dish would be better with a bucatini or any type of "spaghetti", hell, even pappardelle would work better. I would use gemelli in my version but that's just me. It tasted ok but definitely won't be ordering it again unless they make a drastic change. E for effort, though.

Is it a destination spot based on what I have sampled? No, but it has the pedigree to be something better. I do like that it's a changing/evolving menu but there's just too much Octo Bar sweat with an Armani suit in here. I'm sure with time they will evolve into something with it's own personality and not just another late night industry hangout with a high price tag. Don't get me wrong, Octo Bar is awesome, love those guys... But I would like to see them do something different with this space. Wow me, mofos!

1829 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, GA 30309

Friday, June 27, 2014

Pho Delight

Vietnamese grub can be had all over Buford Highway, up down, left right, sine cosine and tangent every which way but fuzzy math... You know, cuz Asians are SMRT and really good with math and noodle soups. Shit, we invented the goddamn things. I was up this way for some tools and noticed this joint all by its lonesome in a strip mall with a farmers market... I was like, what the fuck is this place doing up in redneckville? White people don't eat this shit.. They lynch people with slanty eyes like us. But anyways, this place has been around for a bit so I went in to see what all the fuss was about.. Yeah, a pho joint this far up can only mean two things... Let's go find out.

Bun Bo Hue. Spicy noodle soup with lotsa goodies inside. This version was pretty "authentic" homestyle with all the fun stuff like pig's blood, hock, brains, offal... All the things that would make a Buckhead douchebag puke. It wasn't spicy enough for me but I also didn't want to bastardize all their hard work by dumping a shitload of Sriracha and Sambal Oelek in it either. So, I stuck with it as is and was I glad I did. Sometimes, a bowl of funky noodle soup is great as it was intended. Git ya  sum.

Bun with  BBQ Pork. Although it looks like a very simple dish, getting all the ingredients executed properly is harder than it looks. Is the noodle over or under cooked, is the pork grilled correctly, is the do chau (daikon/carrot) pickled properly, is the nuoc cham sauce made proportionately and balanced with enough fish sauce and sweetness, is there enough crushed peanuts and balance of assorted veggies... This came out pretty good. It's not usually my go to dish but for the summer it's a nice refreshing dish.

Cha Gio. These tasty little fuckers came out hot, crispy and steamy inside.

"Chef Special" aka stop being an entitled little biatch and make your own wraps. Huge portion and it's totally worth it. It's like a Viet-rito.

Pho Dac Biet. The broth is hot, that's a good sign. The slurp, very flavorful, me rikey. A very nice well balanced broth, I'm quite surprised on the quality for a place way up in the sticks. It could use more meats and offals in here but I'm not complaining because the broth was so tasty. Just dump all the garnishes in there and it's a full bowl... That's what she said from the bathroom.

Amped up Pho. We need more Sriracha, Sambal and cowbells!!!

For a pho joint up in bumblefuck nowhere, it was surprisingly good... Better than average. After a few visits, I'm already a regular when I'm up in this neck of the woods. Shit is good, just don't nuoc their mam... She's a killer.


4805 Lawrenceville Hwy
Lilburn, GA 30047
(770) 806-8181

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Kochi Sushi & Hibachi

I have driven by this joint a few times before, it always seemed suspect to me. But sometimes curiosity gets the better of the pouch. The pouch is like a curious cat (it also likes a delicious cat every now and then), always meddling in things that shouldn't concern it. I was up this way to run a few errands and was kinda hungry... So, I couldn't pass up the chance to see what this place was all about. I sat in the car for few minutes pondering if I should go in and risk having diarrhea for the rest of the night or not. Fuck it, I just restocked a butt load of Charmin... Let's go and munch on some pink tuna. It can't be that bad... Right?

Your standard accoutrements of lackluster and flavorless ginger carrot dressing and miso soup (thanks Sysco)... I think they serve this at County on Tuesdays.

Mixed Tempura. I thought it was two fwied cheekan legs when it came out which put a smile on my facehole until I remembered I ordered tempura. The crust was so heavy and thick that it even made wire marks on where the pieces of the battered rocks rested at the bottom of the fry basket. These things had no flavor at all, I mean bland as cardboard. The tempura sauce did nothing to introduce any seasoning to these over fried dough turds. It was awful. Here's a hint, use fucking cornstarch next time... Maybe even some panko if you're feeling Japanese American that night.

Umikaze. Yes, it's umikaze and not omakase. The umikaze was a class of Japanese naval destroyers... What it means here at this dump, I have no fucking clue.. Neither does the sooshee chef it seems like. The rice was cold and the fish was warm. Someone has dyslexia me thinks. Take a closer look at that "box" roll... It has friggin lettuce on it! It was quite frightening and tasted like agent orange. The UFO (unidentified fishy objects) sashimi were chopped into nugget form... The nigiri looked a bit better but the taste of all the fish on this plate was just gone from freezing and defrosting multiple times. I rather be milked like a cat by Gaylord Focker... This was udderly disgusting and it destroyed my bowels like a 16" gun.

Spider Roll. If it's on the menu, I will order it. But I should be ashamed of myself, that's like ordering a spider roll from Chick-fila. The rice was days old and mushy, you can see it in each grain of rice... It was like coming home at the end of the day to flush the wadded up toilet paper sitting in the bowl from the morning. The crab had that thick ass batter again that could shield a nuclear blast. Eating this was painful to my mouth and my dignity.

These Mickey Mouse sushi joints are dime a dozen and their proliferation seems to never end. They were nice enough people but we know where nice people finish... But hey, people with low rent taste need places like this, too. If they are making money, fuck it, more power to them... But you won't see me back here again, I have only so much dignity left to spare. At least the Sapporo was tasty, though.

4306 Lawrenceville Hwy #110
Tucker, GA 30084
(770) 939-3831

Friday, June 20, 2014

Squat N' Gobblin' in Nashville

One time, the pouch was hankerin' for some hot cheekan, so, it hopped into the Fat Mobile and drove non-stop to Nashville to nosh on some dericious poultry bathed in hot sauce... It was a good trip. So, the pouch was in the mood for more, not for the hot cheekan (well, if it had enough time for Prince's, it will) but for the hipster grubbery and fancy cocktails that this town has been birthing recently in the last few years. The pouch had to see what was new in this neck of the woods. So, how does one decide what to eat in one night... Hell, just eat it all...

Rolf & Daughters.
One of the new trendy hip spots... Get there early and wait in line with the other bearded tight rolled skinny jeans freaks because the place got packed fastest than a blind date at the Eagle.

Dry aged beef tartare, garlic chips, sunflower sprouts. This was almost as good as the raw dog meat I ate in China... But since I can't get any free range mountain mutts in this part of the world or accepted as a trendy hipster dish, I'll have to settle for this rendition. This bloody flesh was G U U D. The garlic chips paired well with the freshly ground man meat. The sprouts did little except for color contrast.

Crostini, cranberry bean, white anchovy. I am nosy when I hangout at the bar, I like to see what these "foodie hipsters" order because they are so cool. Sadly, they order the most non threatening items on the menu like wings and salads. Fucking twats, the whole lot of them. When I see anchovy on the menu, I order them... One of the most under-rated bait fish of our time. These little fuckers come in different varieties and the bigger, the brinier, the bonier, the better. These white anchovies were really tasty and it was close to umami heaven. Pass the MSG.

Squid ink canestri, shrimp, squid, pancetta, lemon. Fuck me and call me Shirley.. Or is that the other way around. This shit was so goddamn good, I totally ignored the bartender when he asked if I wanted another drink... And that happens.. Never. All the ingredients were prepared about the same size, so you can capture all the items in a single bite to maximize umami orgasm in that dirty little facehole of yours. I love that they were thinking of the pouch when they thought this dish out. Unforgettable dish in my book.

Bucatini, fra diavolo, octopus, lardo, calabrian chili. This is one of my two favorite pastas in the entire solar system, bucatini and gemelli. Bucatini is trending so hard right now but the amazing gemelli, it is almost impossible to find anywhere. I know only one place that sells it and I hoard that shit up because I can't help myself.. The fat kid inside me can't stop eating this little gem and the fat kid outside looks like a disgusting fat blob with marinara sauce all over my face and shirt. This dish was amazing as well, but when you eat the ridiculous canestri first, there is no contest... Even though this dish was tasty as shit, it felt left out like a redheaded stepchild. I kept going back to the canestri but that doesn't mean I didn't finished with this wonderful dish.

Pinewood Social.
It's a warehouse converted into a bar/resto/lounge/bowling alley for the hipster crowd... Yeah, yeah, I know what y'all gonna say, but there's the Painted Pin in Atlanta now. Who gives a shit, that sounds like a place for a bunch of guidos doing donuts in the parking lot with their IROC Z28s fishing for underage trim (not that there's anything wrong with underage trim). Upscale bowling resto bars never had a niche in this town like that Ten Pin Alley by The Douche Group, it's almost as absurd with bocce inside bars. But this joint sent out a cool vibe, it barely had any douche bags hanging out until I walked in..

Fuck it, time to drink and eat...

Fried Half Cheekan. I didn't get the hot cheekan, can y'all believe that shit? I know, but I had to check out the regular fwied yardbird. And this didn't disappoint, lighter crust but delicately crispy, tender and juicy inside, and seasoned well. This was a very nice fried chicken, a little different but I still prefer a thicker crust with a super nice crunch to it. For me, it has to have the two opposing textures, super crunchy crust and juicy dark meat. I don't know what the fuck that cauliflower was doing there on the plate, but if that's some kind of hipster accoutrement to this dish, then I say just leave it off and stop embarrassing yourself.

Hot Sweetbreads. These sounded great on paper... But when it came out, it looked like a sad sack of pre-fabbed crusty monkey balls. One, they weren't hot at all, it had the spice level of cocktail sauce. Two, the crust on these gonads were so thick that if you got kick in the sack you wouldn't feel a thing. Imagine biting into them. Three, the tiny tidbits of "sweetbread" inside were indifferent when compared to pus from an abscess. They were tasteless and mushy. These were absolute garbage. I just don't get it, why would anyone make them in nugget form... Keep them whole, at least I know what the fuck they are when I eat them.

The Patterson House.
The hipster central of this town. Great cocktails, if you can stand the wait... But it's STILL worth it. Never had the small bar menu before, so let's take a gander.. C'mon, the pouch has to nibble when imbibing some classics like the Pegu Club (this classic cocktail is still way too hip for the hipsters, no one orders this according to the head bartender. Go figure.)

Pork Rinds. Looked great on another table but these were over-fried, hard on some and too soft on others. I guess it doesn't matter when you're slamming down a few very finely constructed cocktails. After all, you come here to drink, the food is just conversation and for the fatties that can't control themselves. Yes, I'm talking into a mirror.

The Elvis. You guessed it, it has peanut butter, bananas and bacon... Imagine that. Too bad it was just ok. Elvis had terrible taste in food, seems like the only thing we have in common is waist size.

Puckett's Boat House.
The cute little rich town of Franklin contains some culinary gems, upscale and local grub shacks, this is one of the local favorites.

Coconut Shrimp, PiƱa Colada Sauce. When you think of coconut shrimp, you think of that redneck dump, Bahama Breeze... Ok, they are not that bad at BB but this joint kills it with their version. Giant butterflied shrimp hand battered with a good amount of coconut flesh that you can actually taste and fried perfectly. Not over fired like 99% everywhere else. The pina colada sauce was different and very tasty... Shit, who doesn't like freshly squirted creamy white sauce in their mouth.

Rusty Bucket, filled with a plethora of sea creastures. Oysters, shrimp, catfish and hush puppies... Yes, hush puppies live in the depths of the abyss, they are so cute when they first hatch. It was a generous portion but I could always use more oysters, instead they fill up the bottom half of the bucket with fries. Smoke and mirrors... But it was still a very tasty bucket of crap.

The pouch hit a few other trendy joints around town but they were mostly drinking holes with standard bar chow that weren't really worth mentioning... Or maybe I just forgot what I ate because I was toasted. It happens. Speaking of which, I did go by George Dickel Distillery on my way back and snagged some limited single barrel whisky. That place is way out in no educated man's land, a place you would not want to visit at night. I just heard a squeal like a pig.. Freaky.