Domo arigato, Mr. Naito
Tomo, Tomo
Domo arigato, Mr. Naito,
Tomo, Tomo
You're wondering who I am
Marsupial or manpouch
With fish sent from Japan
I am the hungry man
Secret, secret, I gotta secret...
I've got a secret I've been hiding under crispy salmon skin
My pouch is hungry, my belly is busting, my bowel I.B.S.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed sushi, and somewhere to nosh
To keep me alive- just keep it coming
Somewhere to nosh to keep me alive
I'm not a Buddha without credentials- I'm not what you see
I've come to Yelp with my review, so we can be fed
I'm not a critic, I'm not from Saveur, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumference went beyond his control
Beyond my control- we all need control
I need portion control- we all need portion control
But I don't...
Gateau De Tai Et Ankimo - Seared Japanese snapper, monkfish liver terrine, ponzu jelly on shiso. It was a party in my mouth, too bad you weren't invited. Munch.
Tomo Urchin - Uni wrapped in shiso, seaweed and tempura fried with Tomo salsa. Amazing flavor and texture. Crunch.
Pork Belly Kakuni - Super tender cubes of belly In dashi sauce that went straight into mine. Get in mah belly! Slurp.
Omakase - Sashimi only: Shima-Aji, chu toro, live scallop, mackerel, kinmedai. This school of fish couldn't be any better. OMaGoshie.
Domo arigato, Mr. Naito,
Tomo, Tomo
Thank you very much, Mr. Naito
For doing the job that nobody can do
I want to thank you!
I'm Overjoy! Overjoy! Overjoy!
BURP!
3256 Cobb Parkway
Atlanta, GA 30339
(770) 690-0555
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Livingston Restaurant + Bar
One word: Swank
In a city full of new hotels and restaurants that look like they came from a "build by number" cookie cutter book... It was about time Atlanta has gone retro. This joint is solid... Built on stone unlike all the other "fancy" hotels that are made up of particle boards and tumbleweeds. You can huff and puff all you want because this shit ain't coming down, Bubba.
The bar on the other side of the dinner room is glam. Great drinks, service is refined and a nice little bar menu to nibble from. Screw roof top bars, they are so 15 minutes ago... None of them ever works out. Give me a bar stool that I can stagger to from my dining chair within 10 feet and I'm all set.
The modern American menu is simple and spot on... And Gary Mennie executes it flawlessly. You don't need caviar, raw fish or liquid nitrogen to make a dish sound fancy. Just give me a piece of man meat that is cooked properly and I'm happier than a pig in shit. As you can see with this impressive list...
Crispy duck croquettes - blackberries, cilantro, sweet potatoes. This ain't no suffering succotash.
Softshell crab - ramps, tarragon, citrus dressing. This is one crab I don't have to make a run to CVS afterwards.
Spring pea soup - marcona almonds, mint, tangerine oil. Is this velvet? Velvety smooth and Velvet Jones approves.
Jerusalem artichoke soup - green apple, curry essence, crispy shallots. It's gotta be Velvet! I'm so Jonesing this soup.
Woodlands gardens chopped salad - shaved parmesan, frisee, walnut oil vinaigrette. I would go to the woods of OTP for this ruffage.
Georgia white shrimp - fava bean puree, ham hocks, pickled vidalia onions. One tail I love to chase... Down my throat.
Veal porterhouse - cauliflower gratin, vidalia onion marmalade. Porter, bring me a wheelchair.
Hanger steak & short rib duet - crystal farms rapini, crispy gnocchi, beet juice. Screw listening to Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder, I rather eat this duet.
Louisiana rabbit - speck ham, garlic chips, golden potato puree. Now I know why Elmer Fudd has been hunting Bugs all these years... You delicious wascally wabbit!
Atlantic halibut - red onion marmalade, sunchokes, brussel sprouts. I like Hali-Butts and I can not lie. You other flatfish can't deny.
Coconut financier - this is one investment you won't loose your shirt over... Well, mebbe you will have to loosen your shirt after this behemoth of a meal.
The Georgian Terrace is back. Kicking ass and taking names... Oh, and while you're at it put me down for a 4 top next week. This place is awesome and classy... Even for a guy like me with no class and all crass.
BURP!
659 Peachtree St. NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 897-5000
http://www.livingstonatlanta.com/restaurant.php
In a city full of new hotels and restaurants that look like they came from a "build by number" cookie cutter book... It was about time Atlanta has gone retro. This joint is solid... Built on stone unlike all the other "fancy" hotels that are made up of particle boards and tumbleweeds. You can huff and puff all you want because this shit ain't coming down, Bubba.
The bar on the other side of the dinner room is glam. Great drinks, service is refined and a nice little bar menu to nibble from. Screw roof top bars, they are so 15 minutes ago... None of them ever works out. Give me a bar stool that I can stagger to from my dining chair within 10 feet and I'm all set.
The modern American menu is simple and spot on... And Gary Mennie executes it flawlessly. You don't need caviar, raw fish or liquid nitrogen to make a dish sound fancy. Just give me a piece of man meat that is cooked properly and I'm happier than a pig in shit. As you can see with this impressive list...
Crispy duck croquettes - blackberries, cilantro, sweet potatoes. This ain't no suffering succotash.
Softshell crab - ramps, tarragon, citrus dressing. This is one crab I don't have to make a run to CVS afterwards.
Spring pea soup - marcona almonds, mint, tangerine oil. Is this velvet? Velvety smooth and Velvet Jones approves.
Jerusalem artichoke soup - green apple, curry essence, crispy shallots. It's gotta be Velvet! I'm so Jonesing this soup.
Woodlands gardens chopped salad - shaved parmesan, frisee, walnut oil vinaigrette. I would go to the woods of OTP for this ruffage.
Georgia white shrimp - fava bean puree, ham hocks, pickled vidalia onions. One tail I love to chase... Down my throat.
Veal porterhouse - cauliflower gratin, vidalia onion marmalade. Porter, bring me a wheelchair.
Hanger steak & short rib duet - crystal farms rapini, crispy gnocchi, beet juice. Screw listening to Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder, I rather eat this duet.
Louisiana rabbit - speck ham, garlic chips, golden potato puree. Now I know why Elmer Fudd has been hunting Bugs all these years... You delicious wascally wabbit!
Atlantic halibut - red onion marmalade, sunchokes, brussel sprouts. I like Hali-Butts and I can not lie. You other flatfish can't deny.
Coconut financier - this is one investment you won't loose your shirt over... Well, mebbe you will have to loosen your shirt after this behemoth of a meal.
The Georgian Terrace is back. Kicking ass and taking names... Oh, and while you're at it put me down for a 4 top next week. This place is awesome and classy... Even for a guy like me with no class and all crass.
BURP!
659 Peachtree St. NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
(404) 897-5000
http://www.livingstonatlanta.com/restaurant.php
Zoe's Kitchen
ZOWEY! Holy Varsity F.O., Batman!
"The color orange symbolizes balance, warmth, enthusiasm, vibrance, flamboyancy, and is demanding of attention." They forgot one... Craptastic. No amount of orange can brainwash you into thinking this is good grub. All these pedestrian cookie cutter concepts are so tiresome. I stood there for a couple of minzies looking at the menu and there was absolutely nothing appealing but I had to try it. This joint that bills itself as "healthy" is incredibly bland and tasteless.
Gweek Chicken Pita - I opened up this pouch and the chicken looked like the inside of a Tauntaun... And I thought it smelled bad on the outside. Lettuce was as fwesh as my socks after a weekend of muddin'. Tomato was as red as the Gimp's gag ball. Caramelized onions were as sweet as wet leather shoelaces. Feta was as fragrant as Limburger cheez. Did they ship this stuff from the Hoth system? Meh.
Potato Salad - While it was in fact a tater, a salad it was not. The least you can do is a reach around and jingle my salad, wasn't asking for a full toss. The bland slaw on the other hand needed more than a toss, try a handshake. Blech.
When I see an "oz" bag, I don't think of a bag of Lay's chips. This crushed up sack of flakes couldn't feed a goldfish. Crunch.
Last but not least, this Pimento thing... It looked like fromunda cheez from a baboon's ass. What a rip. Poop.
Eat Smart. Eat Somewhere else.
I like orange but shit...
Next!
2333 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
(404) 233-9637
"The color orange symbolizes balance, warmth, enthusiasm, vibrance, flamboyancy, and is demanding of attention." They forgot one... Craptastic. No amount of orange can brainwash you into thinking this is good grub. All these pedestrian cookie cutter concepts are so tiresome. I stood there for a couple of minzies looking at the menu and there was absolutely nothing appealing but I had to try it. This joint that bills itself as "healthy" is incredibly bland and tasteless.
Gweek Chicken Pita - I opened up this pouch and the chicken looked like the inside of a Tauntaun... And I thought it smelled bad on the outside. Lettuce was as fwesh as my socks after a weekend of muddin'. Tomato was as red as the Gimp's gag ball. Caramelized onions were as sweet as wet leather shoelaces. Feta was as fragrant as Limburger cheez. Did they ship this stuff from the Hoth system? Meh.
Potato Salad - While it was in fact a tater, a salad it was not. The least you can do is a reach around and jingle my salad, wasn't asking for a full toss. The bland slaw on the other hand needed more than a toss, try a handshake. Blech.
When I see an "oz" bag, I don't think of a bag of Lay's chips. This crushed up sack of flakes couldn't feed a goldfish. Crunch.
Last but not least, this Pimento thing... It looked like fromunda cheez from a baboon's ass. What a rip. Poop.
Eat Smart. Eat Somewhere else.
I like orange but shit...
Next!
2333 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
(404) 233-9637
Dusty's Barbecue Restaurant
Dusty walks warily onto the street,
With the pork pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of pig feet,
Ice machines ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the baby back ribs
To the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think Emory kids going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone
Dusty's bites the dust...
RIP.
1815 Briarcliff Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30329
(404) 320-6264
With the pork pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of pig feet,
Ice machines ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the baby back ribs
To the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think Emory kids going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone
Dusty's bites the dust...
RIP.
1815 Briarcliff Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30329
(404) 320-6264
Wan Lai
I Wan't Lai... The grub at this "Fat Boy Shop" is friggin' G O O D.
Finally, a Cantonese place that serves Cantonese vittles. While, I do love me some hot and numbing Sichuan food, I have to rate this as one of the best Chinese resto in ATL.
Beef Chowfun - Greaseless, no lube jobs here. Melts in your mouth and not in your hand slices of tender beef. Noodles cut to size and doesn't slap your face around when you try to eat it like some meat curtains. Possibly the best version in Atlanta. Friggin' can't stop eating this shit, nom nom nom.
Congee - Delivered piping hot in a cauldron of thick yumminess, filled with chunks of 1000 yr old egg and pork. Serving it in a claypot makes all the difference. Friggin' delish, slurp.
Rice Casserole - Abalone and bone in chicken claypot. Crunchy rice on the inside of the bowl makes the dish. Add the soy sauce concoction and stir to perfection. Friggin' knocking on heaven's, door.
Pea shoots - Ma la style. Not real spicy but the pieces of minced pork completed the dish. Friggin' shoot me, awesome.
Training for the Mustard Belt starts early this year. I swear, I will eat everything on this friggin' menu, even if takes me a week and gain 20 lbs doing it, it's worth it. Stick with the real stuff, leave the Panda Expwess specials on back page where it belongs, on the back page.
You go home now, fat boy! You eat evey ting!
BURP!
4897 Buford Hwy
Atlanta, GA 30341
(770) 216-8587
Finally, a Cantonese place that serves Cantonese vittles. While, I do love me some hot and numbing Sichuan food, I have to rate this as one of the best Chinese resto in ATL.
Beef Chowfun - Greaseless, no lube jobs here. Melts in your mouth and not in your hand slices of tender beef. Noodles cut to size and doesn't slap your face around when you try to eat it like some meat curtains. Possibly the best version in Atlanta. Friggin' can't stop eating this shit, nom nom nom.
Congee - Delivered piping hot in a cauldron of thick yumminess, filled with chunks of 1000 yr old egg and pork. Serving it in a claypot makes all the difference. Friggin' delish, slurp.
Rice Casserole - Abalone and bone in chicken claypot. Crunchy rice on the inside of the bowl makes the dish. Add the soy sauce concoction and stir to perfection. Friggin' knocking on heaven's, door.
Pea shoots - Ma la style. Not real spicy but the pieces of minced pork completed the dish. Friggin' shoot me, awesome.
Training for the Mustard Belt starts early this year. I swear, I will eat everything on this friggin' menu, even if takes me a week and gain 20 lbs doing it, it's worth it. Stick with the real stuff, leave the Panda Expwess specials on back page where it belongs, on the back page.
You go home now, fat boy! You eat evey ting!
BURP!
4897 Buford Hwy
Atlanta, GA 30341
(770) 216-8587
Ryan's Steakhouse
Now, lookie here... I like orange. So what? I know a lot of orange heads on Yelp do as well. God forbid you get in the way of a tugboat and their strawberry soft serve ice cweam (which was orange flava) in this barnyard.
Walking in here is like herding cattle. Go straight (whip!), make a sharp right (whip!), go straight (whip!), pay (cha-ching), then make a sharp left into the general population (yee haw!). The troughs are like a mesmerizing cattle call and under intense UV death rays... As is most of the grub is cooked to death here. Don't stick your limbs under the rays too long or else you'll be branded like a cheap fraternity prank. Bring SPF 1000 on your next annual visit (or upchuck).
Salad trough - 3 words: Cha Cha Chia! Herb garden.
Soup and Taco trough - WTF is that brown thing moving around in that abyss? Yippy Kay Yay Cucharacha!
Swanson's TV Dinner trough - Pasta, pizza, fwied chicken, and some veggies a la can. The pasta looked and moved like tape worms. The pizza looked like the nephew of Pizza the Hutt. But the fwied ghetto pigeon wasn't half bad. It was edible and somewhat moist and crunchy. There were some big ass breasts in there. I'm just wondering how many Mexicans it took to catch these rascally critters in the back alley.
Meat trough - Break out the moo moo's. Leave the overcooked rubbery meat for the masses (you won't believe how many times I heard "you gots well done in there?"...Oy vey). The manager was such a sweet lady, she brought us bloody slabs of meat after meat. But the trick of getting a decent cooked piece of meat was patience and surveillance. Word of advice - do not get between the tugboats and super tankers during feeding time, you will only get crushed and possibly eaten. Watch your fingers as well, they can be mistaken for chicken.
Sugar trough - This is the main reason why we are the fattest nation in the world. It reminded me of Bluto from Animal House going through the cafeteria line and piling on plates after plates of coma and vomit inducing pure cane sugar. That boy is a P-I-G, pig! Yip, yours truly, couldn't help but make a couple rounds for the orange softee spooge. Like I said before... I like orange, I like it aaa lot.
Upon leaving we decided who's place was closer because the need to EVAC was in order. I don't how the Olsen twins do it but I give them mad props. My friend's bathroom was like a manger because I felt like I had given birth from both ends (thank god, no C-section was needed). It had arms and legs. It truly was a miracle.
Thank you, baby Jesus, I'm a believer now. Hallelujah!
Since everything and everyone here is so bloated... So is my 3 star rating.
Purge.
Splash.
Flush.
Repeat.
3371 Buford Highway NE
Atlanta, GA 30329
(404) 321-6107
Walking in here is like herding cattle. Go straight (whip!), make a sharp right (whip!), go straight (whip!), pay (cha-ching), then make a sharp left into the general population (yee haw!). The troughs are like a mesmerizing cattle call and under intense UV death rays... As is most of the grub is cooked to death here. Don't stick your limbs under the rays too long or else you'll be branded like a cheap fraternity prank. Bring SPF 1000 on your next annual visit (or upchuck).
Salad trough - 3 words: Cha Cha Chia! Herb garden.
Soup and Taco trough - WTF is that brown thing moving around in that abyss? Yippy Kay Yay Cucharacha!
Swanson's TV Dinner trough - Pasta, pizza, fwied chicken, and some veggies a la can. The pasta looked and moved like tape worms. The pizza looked like the nephew of Pizza the Hutt. But the fwied ghetto pigeon wasn't half bad. It was edible and somewhat moist and crunchy. There were some big ass breasts in there. I'm just wondering how many Mexicans it took to catch these rascally critters in the back alley.
Meat trough - Break out the moo moo's. Leave the overcooked rubbery meat for the masses (you won't believe how many times I heard "you gots well done in there?"...Oy vey). The manager was such a sweet lady, she brought us bloody slabs of meat after meat. But the trick of getting a decent cooked piece of meat was patience and surveillance. Word of advice - do not get between the tugboats and super tankers during feeding time, you will only get crushed and possibly eaten. Watch your fingers as well, they can be mistaken for chicken.
Sugar trough - This is the main reason why we are the fattest nation in the world. It reminded me of Bluto from Animal House going through the cafeteria line and piling on plates after plates of coma and vomit inducing pure cane sugar. That boy is a P-I-G, pig! Yip, yours truly, couldn't help but make a couple rounds for the orange softee spooge. Like I said before... I like orange, I like it aaa lot.
Upon leaving we decided who's place was closer because the need to EVAC was in order. I don't how the Olsen twins do it but I give them mad props. My friend's bathroom was like a manger because I felt like I had given birth from both ends (thank god, no C-section was needed). It had arms and legs. It truly was a miracle.
Thank you, baby Jesus, I'm a believer now. Hallelujah!
Since everything and everyone here is so bloated... So is my 3 star rating.
Purge.
Splash.
Flush.
Repeat.
3371 Buford Highway NE
Atlanta, GA 30329
(404) 321-6107
Saigon Basil
I tell you what... I came in here when it first opened...
I looked at the menu on the wall (bleh),
I looked at the craptastic assortment of slop in the steam trays (meh),
I looked at the creatures eating in here (barf),
I looked back at the door I came through (freedom),
And I walked back out (no flush).
Fast forward many moons ahead and many dwinks after a 2 day binge. I find myself burrowed inside a cave of blankets like a mongoloid fetus craving some beef noodle soup. Hell, if I was gonna drive my septic tank of a pouch to Buford Hizzy but if I didn't get some magical Pho, STAT, I woulda got SIDS. Then it dawn on me that Cliffy mentioned he liked the Pho here. I put on my cleanest moo moo rag and headed for their back door.
Snuck in like a chicken head walking on egg shells... crack crack crack cuckoo cuckoo! Fuck it, give me an order of pho all the way and make that to go mama-san! Parked my towtruck ass on the couch, turned on the boob tube and preceded to slurp down this crap in a bowl of healing goodness to neutralize the toxins. WoW doesn't know the power!
Surprisingly, the broth wasn't half bad, noodles and sliced mystery meat and what-not tasted alright. I stretched out, laid my head on a fluffy pillow and spent the rest of the day in a state of encephalitic flatulation.
Heaven.
Just like Heaven.
Burp!
1870 Piedmont Ave
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 892-8688
I looked at the menu on the wall (bleh),
I looked at the craptastic assortment of slop in the steam trays (meh),
I looked at the creatures eating in here (barf),
I looked back at the door I came through (freedom),
And I walked back out (no flush).
Fast forward many moons ahead and many dwinks after a 2 day binge. I find myself burrowed inside a cave of blankets like a mongoloid fetus craving some beef noodle soup. Hell, if I was gonna drive my septic tank of a pouch to Buford Hizzy but if I didn't get some magical Pho, STAT, I woulda got SIDS. Then it dawn on me that Cliffy mentioned he liked the Pho here. I put on my cleanest moo moo rag and headed for their back door.
Snuck in like a chicken head walking on egg shells... crack crack crack cuckoo cuckoo! Fuck it, give me an order of pho all the way and make that to go mama-san! Parked my towtruck ass on the couch, turned on the boob tube and preceded to slurp down this crap in a bowl of healing goodness to neutralize the toxins. WoW doesn't know the power!
Surprisingly, the broth wasn't half bad, noodles and sliced mystery meat and what-not tasted alright. I stretched out, laid my head on a fluffy pillow and spent the rest of the day in a state of encephalitic flatulation.
Heaven.
Just like Heaven.
Burp!
1870 Piedmont Ave
Atlanta, GA 30324
(404) 892-8688
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