Thursday, May 25, 2017

Ameer's Mediterranean Grill

The fucking Halal Guys are still pissing me off every time I drive by it... They shafted the entire city of Atlanta with their deliberate dumbing down of a NYC classic street grub... They may have tricked the non ex-pats with their low rent mass volume slop but the pouch ain't falling for that banana in the tailpipe ruse. I had such high hopes for a piece of NYC icon to shine in this mossback state... But noooo, they went full retard and all commercial and now it's all about the Benjamins. So, fucking mad still... And, now, I have to resort to going back to the local Medi eateries. Not that they are bad, it's just a been there done that kinda deal... I go to Waikikie from time to time for a SPAM musubi when I'm too lazy to make them at home and noticed that I haven't been to Ameer's in many many moons... I remembered it was pretty decent on my last visit and now, I need to make a revisit and see how they're doing these days... It's basically the same set up, nothing has changed and that awful wrap around painting of the beach and the village scene in the middle of the desert is still as gaudy as fuck like before... I love it. Makes me want to eat a shawarma on the backside of a sand dune... Riding on a camel.
Ok, let's just dip our cameltoes right into this joint and order a bunch of shit and see where they stand these days... All I can taste right now is that nasty after taste from The Halal Guys even weeks if not months later. Bringing up bad memories again... Can this place erase the smut from my taste buds of old with some tasty grubs of new... Let's go find out.

Fatayer, spinach pie with herbs, spices, and lemon. Ok, does this looks like it belongs in one of those new camel toe underpants every women is raving about... I kinda want one, too. If you attach a toilet paper roll on the back of it, it could be a home made fleshlight... Did I say that out loud? Nevermind. So, I split that labia majora V pie in half to inspect and smell the goods inside before I put my tongue on it... I mean you gotta practice safe cunilingus with all the bad health scores out there these days. This was pretty tasty, I would actually eat this out on a nightly basis... Nice crust and the filling was flavorful even though it's vagintarian.

Fried Eggplant Salad, garlic, spices, and herbs. Where's the tortilla chips, ese? There was so much middle eastern pico de gallo on top, that it overshadowed the eggplant underneath it... But once you push all that salsa aside the eggplant was pretty good. I liked it, it was a nice little herby salad but I wouldn't order this again as a whole item, it should really be on the side in a combo or entree.

Kebi, cracked wheat and lean meat stuffed with lamb and pine nuts deep fried. Look at these gorgeous mountain oysters from Mount Parnassus. Jesus, if I had a set of these babies in my cameltoe underpants, who knows what I could accomplish in the world... But all I got are a couple of tic tacs, no wonder I have no life or gender identity and cry myself to sleep every night. But these golden fried balls of mince meat were crunchy on the outside and delicate and flavorful on the inside.

Combo #2, chicken kabob, beef & lamb shawarma, falafel, hummus, tomato pickle parsley salad, Arabic rice. They have a few combo plates that gives you a decent amount of feed for a decent amount of loot. I got the one that had a nice variety of shit on it. I tell you what, all the proteins were executed pretty spot on and flavorful. This is prolly your best bet if you want a nice portion of food.. But of course, the pouch eats like it's having quintuplets, so I usually order enough food to feed the entire Brady bunch plus da pouch. 

Pita. The combo also gives you a giant pita, too, to make your own sando... The quality of the pita is pretty decent.

Kufta Kabob, Humus, garlic spread, tomatoes, onions, and tahini. It ain't gonna win any beauty contests but beauty is only a light switch away... Trust me, the pouch has eaten some nasty ass shit in the dark and liked it...  I mean look at this creasture, it either looks like a turd sando or a monkfish with head injuries. But the kufta was full of spices, moist and firm with a nice bite to it. Why do people hate the word moist? I get moist just thinking about Popeyes. This also came with some regular old brown bag steak fries... For a quick lunch, this steak tube pita sando will do.

"Baklawa", pecans, walnuts, and spices. You would think with all the tasty shit that was had earlier that a baklava would not be some kinda difficult thing for them to make right but this was just ok... It was too moist.. Oh, shit, that word keeps popping up at the end of this ridiculous post. I kinda prefer the filo to be crisp and flaky and the filler to be smooth and moist.... I think they watered down the honey binder because it was just too wet overall... Or maybe it has been sitting around for quite some time and it just naturally broke down with age... Jesus, I sound like I'm talking about myself. No wonder I cry myself to sleep so often.

This joint still has what it takes to stick around for awhile... As long as they keep up the quality and consistency. Is it craveworthy enough to be one of the best intown? Prolly the fuck not but for a local Medi joint, it's pretty solid and doable in a slutty kinda way... I would do this putana again. Shit, I ain't picky... You can't be when you're as rotund as the pouch.

2168 Briarcliff Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30329

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Chinatown Food Court

Yes, everyone all knows Krog Street Market and Ponce City Market as the real food halls in Atlanta but fuck that noise, the people in the know will always consider the Chinatown Food Court as the OG of food halls in Atlanta. When I say OG, I meant it in the literal sense... This food court is like a prison yard where all the gangs stay in their area. You got the Orphans and Boppers on the Top One Gourmet and Yanmi Yanmi side, the Furies and Rogues in the middle with China Kitchen and Chong Qing, and then the Warriors and Riffs on the other end with Hong Kong BBQ... It's like a turf war up in this piece... Can you dig it? ...Why am I wasting my time on this blog again? This is the stupidest blog ever.
Ok, this food court is not a hotbed of rival gang activity but it's obvious where the good shit is located by how close certain groups of people are huddle up next to. The Chinos love HK BBQ and Chong Qing while the Chicos love Top One Gourmet and Yanmi Yanmi and the roundeyes are just sprinkled throughout the place because they are dazed and confused... It's funny to see the blatant segregation by choice but it's a harmonious environment in here... Rodney King would be so proud to see everyone getting along and he would absolutely love the cheekan wangs and flied lice combo at Top One Gourmet... Get some fried intestines on the side, too, bro.
I was running around getting shit done in the area and I needed to eat something on the quick and cheap... So, I stopped in for a quick bite because it's always dependable, tasty and affordable. But of course, the pouch just can't eat like a normal person with one stomach, it has to eat like a cow with four stomachs... Look away when the pouch eats... It's udderly disgusting and make sure your children keeps their hands and feets as far away as possible. I just got a bunch of different shit from each stall. It's time to feed...

Xiao Long Baos.

Scallion Pancakes.

Beef Chowfun, wet style.

Fried Fish with egg and green peas gravy rice plate.

Dan Dan Noodles.

Mixed up but not very spicy.

Pork with String Beans.

BBQ Pork.

House Lo Mein.

Still one of the best options to grab some incredibly tasty grub on the cheap. I didn't do any spicy fish in hot oil on this visit because I had more shit to do afterwards and crapping my underpants was not on the agenda. But I'll be back when I have more time to digest and process the tasty Sichuan grub up in this piece... And I'll never use the bathroom in here because the sink faucets don't match. Go around the block to Southbound, their bathroom is much nicer to mess up... But grab a whiskey cocktail first so you can say you're a customer. Splash.

5383 New Peachtree Rd
Atlanta, GA 30341

Food Terminal Revisit

This massive "Malaysian" street food court has been fucking killing it since day one with zero PR or adverts... Word of mouth is stronger than any paid PR garbage with their email blasts and this is ethnic food, too... On Buford Hwy. There were a ton of gwailos up in this piece and they don't even serve tacos here... El Rey is up the street, brodudes. How can this be? It was a goddamn zombie herd in this joint for the first couple weeks... You couldn't even get in the door without waiting in line outside in the dense pollen. But they do try to get the brain sucking tourists in and out as efficiently as possible with their army of staff and cooks. They got like 35% of Atlanta's Asian population working here... It's ok, tho, we breed like rabbits. The shit comes out quick and relatively fresh and made to order. It's obviously not the best ethnic street grub you will ever have but for this town, it will totally do. I was not super impressed with some of their dishes in the beginning... People went more to see what the fuss was about. This joint is a FOB's dream come true... It's obvious that Sweet Hut's fingerprints are all over this place but it's a bit more classy and mature. The menu, shit... Who can not comment on that ginormous menu. It's like reading the 10 commandments etched on the stone tablets. I don't get the whole giant laminated picture filled menus, it's like they ate at Royal China one night and said, "Hey, this is a great idea! Let's do it, too." I guess I'm ok with the giant cartoony menus because the FOBs dig it, but the product is what I'm here for... The first few visits were good not great, nothing craveworthy enough that made me want to come back over and over again. So, once the initial hype and crowd has been through the joint a couple of times, it was time for the pouch to go back and see if they have improved their work flow... Let's go check out the lunch time service. I need a little something to tie me over before my real lunch...

Shiitaki Ground Pork Cheong Fun. This was good the first time except that the rice noodles were over steamed and gummy... This time around it was pretty much spot on. It had good texture and a nice bounce to it. The shiitaki and minced pork bits and the sweet and savory soy sauce basically makes this dish. Definitely get this and the XO one is good, too.

Five Spice Shrimp Rolls. Ok, when I saw this on my first few visits, I was like Jesus fucking Christ, c'mon, how fucking roundeye is this... But I had to try it at least once in my measly life... And it was pretty decent. It was crispy, crunchy and the minced shrimp paste filler had a nice bite to it. I finally had this dish and I'm prolly not gonna get it again.. No that it was bad, it was just kinda average and boring.

Salted Goji Herbed Chicken. Similar to the Hainanese Chicken Rice but with the distinctive Goji berry flavor. I liked this better than the Hainanese cheekan. This also came with the chicken rice but they forgot the sauces.

Crispy Pig Ears. I get these every time I'm here... Yeah, they're that good. Git yo some.

Grandma Wonton BBQ Pork. I had to get this again to see why everyone loves this so much... The fried wontons are still as gwailo as fuck, I mean it's like something you give to kids to shut them the fuck up at the table. But everything in this crap in a bowl was pretty damn decent and the bbq pork was a lot better this time around, the thin noodles are great. This is not a real dish, it's something they made up, they call it a family recipe... Ok, whatever to honor your paw-paw.

6 Hour Braised Beef, thin noodles, beef broth, pickled mustard greens, spring onions, cilantro. The broth could be a little more richer and complex but it's totally acceptable when there's a heaping pile of tender as fuck meat flesh in there. They didn't skimp on this bowl... And it's also loaded with their kick ass thin noodles underneath all that meat flaps. It's totally satisfying and great for nursing a massive whiskey hangover.

Black Pepper Rolling Hot Plate, ground beef, zucchini, bell pepper, mushroom, egg, fried shallots, spring onions, tomato braised rice. Looked like my 8th grade science project... Where do I add the vinegar and baking soda in this rice volcano? It also looked like a giant titty to me... Yes, I'm a sicko... And fat. On some demented level, this specimen kinda reminded me of this skank with a botched boob job that worked at a bowling ally I dated many moons ago... I wanted to finger it and throw it into a gutter. I just need to get my head outta the gutter and just use the spoon to mix it all up... Let's go ahead and do that, now... Move along move along...

First off, can I tell y'all that I friggin love that giant heated stone bowl, too bad it won't fit in my jacket... Perhaps I can hide it under my pannus flap. No one will question me let alone be the one to pat down the pouch. After mixing it all up it transforms itself into a ridiculous tasty fried rice concoction... Why I didn't order this before was just plain stupid on my part. I'm not a smart man but I know what love is and I loved this dish. The portion is huge and the price is low. Easily, one of their best dishes.

After a few visits, the pouch can safely say this street food joint is a solid choice for a quick bite or a feast with friends. It's fun food, so don't expect anything on this menu to blow your mind and pouch. The prices are affordable but they add up real fast because the giant menu is designed to trick you into ordering more and more dishes... Which the pouch will instinctively do with any menu anyways. In my younger days, I used to look at a menu and say "OK" to the waiter. Shit, I came here for a quick bite and ended up over ordering... Again. No wonder I'm such a fucking fat slob. They are getting their beer/wine/sake license pretty soon, so, those fuckers will be seeing a lot more of the pouch when they do. Here just take my money and shut the fuck up and feed me. Pweez.


5000 Buford Hwy NE
Chamblee, GA 30341

Wednesday, May 17, 2017


This has been one of the best and most reliable joints in town since forever... It's barely ITP but I come here more often than their smaller sister location, Ginya, on Northside Drive. I haven't been back to Shoya in many moons... But it's not like they're waiting for the pouch to show up so they can make their weekly numbers. They fucking slay it on a nightly basis no matter what day it is. The pouch's share is just the icing on the taiyaki fish cake for them... Because these motherfuckers have been raking in the Benjamins since they opened and they deserve it... Let's sneak in quietly for an update on how they're doing these days...

Hizzy Wisky. Jesus Christ, look at that pour, it's at least 8 ounces for $6. Me rikey.

Ankimo. Still some of the best monkfish liver, velvety and smooth.

Udon & Tempura. Moist and crispy. Slurp and swallow.

Beef Belly & Tendon. It was mostly all ultra tender belly and no tendon but still good.

Fried Baby Octopus. One of the newer items and they were fucking dericious.

Kibinago Karaage. Like goddamn fries, you just keep eating them on repeat.

Whole Squid. Still one of the classic favorites for the pouch.

Miso Cod. You can't not order this up in this piece, always executed spot on.

Ribeye Steak. I have never ordered this but it came with tater cubes and it was perfect mid rare.

Sausage. These little pudgy snausages are so damn finger licking good that sometimes I can't tell if I'm eating my own fingers or not.

Chicken Karaage. Naturally, these fwied cheekan nuggets will always be on my table.

Soft Shell Crab. Sometimes I want to stuff these in my pants and ask people if they want some tasty crabs.

Beef Tongue. Tender and thinly shaved... Just like the memories of the cheerleaders in high school.. Whom I admired from afar with my new telescope.

Sashimi Deluxe. Always a must have on every visit. It's just a gorgeous spread with a variety of raw fish... Kinda reminds me of the Cheetah.

Fried Shrimp Heads. The best part of these sea roaches.

Jesus Christ, did I fucking order enough dishes or what? I am such a fat fuck and there's no hiding it... But the pouch can hide many things underneath it's pannus flap. Shit, I found a bag of lunch size Fritos in there once... That was kinda embarrassing, you shoulda seen the hooker's face when I pulled my underpants down and a bag of chips falls out. The original izakaya of Atlanta is still killing it after all these years and there's no evidence that they'll be fucking around any time soon... They just slay every motherfucker that comes in nightly, taking names and running them down with dericious grub. Some of the hardest working bastards in this town... And the end product proves it nightly. This has always been on my radar and always will be... Until I say otherwise. But for now, every mook already knows about this joint and how sick the menu is... I don't need to circle jerk them anymore... They are just pumping and squirting on full auto.

6035 Peachtree Rd A101
Doraville, GA 30340

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

First Watch

This Florida based breakfast/brunch/lunch (BBL) chain has been spreading their eggs across the nation faster than Lindsay Lohan's legs across Hollywood... This franchise might be even sluttier than that redheaded slut but I love me some egg sluts... No, not the ones in L.A., but the ones in my piehole. This breakfast chain has six locations all OTP and now they have one ITP, right in the middle of the new and shiny Decatur Crossing development... This Fuqua project has done wonders to revitalize this run down area of Decatur with new life, energy and rise in property values, even though they pushed out my after Victory bike night snack spot, Church's Cheekan. It's ok, their cheekan wasn't that good anyways but when the pouch is craving a quick cheap cheekan snack, that shit will do... And then I would usually end up crying myself to sleep afterwards for the sin I have committed against Popeyes.
So, I have never ate at this new BBL spot because who the fuck would drive all the way to upstate Atlanta for breakfast grub when you got Home Grown, Folk Art and Waffle House within a few minutes' drive... This place kinda reminds me of Tupelo Honey, they are in the same competitive league vying for that disposable income from the millennial and family crowd. But in this area, it was all gray and blue hairs... Well, at least during my visit. Bless their early bird hearts... Wait, I was eating at the same time they were... Holy shit, my pathetic loser status is now complete. The pouch was eating solo along side with the geri's. But that's ok, I usually buy my friends... I pick them out from the menu and I put them all together in my happy place. Jesus, I sound so pitiful... And lonely. Makes me wanna get Life Alert just to have someone to talk to. Let's take a look who will become a friend or a frenemy on this menu...

Tumeric Lemon Aid (lemon, turmeric, ginger) and Morning Meditation (orange, lemon, turmeric, ginger, agave nectar, beet). Jesus, I swore, the Kool-Aid man will be skating through a wall in the next few minzies... Look at the color of these refreshing beverages, so vibrant and so fake looking. How much HFCS is packed in these "fresh juices"... Took a sip... Damn, they were pretty tasty and packed with flavor even though they looked so processed and manufactured. I'm ok with these pricey breakfast elixirs...

Biscuits & Turkey Sausage Gravy. You can't be a southern breakfast joint if you ain't got a decent B&G... That's like having no rice on the menu at a Chino joint. The turkey sausage gravy seemed like such a cop out to appeal to the millennials and non-porkers. But you need the piggy fat in there for a proper gravy. So, how did this specimen turn out? Not too shabby, The generous amount of turkey sausage gravy was nice but the gravy itself was just acceptable and the biscuit was pretty decent. It's not a bad snack if you want to be healthier but c'mon, look at this thing, there's nothing healthy about it... Just stick with the damn pork sausage for that proper flavor and fat content. 

Millionaire's Bacon, brown sugar, black pepper, cayenne, maple syrup drizzle. This is what I'm talking about, Willis... Four crackling strips of smoked bacon drizzled with syrup. Did it taste like a million dollars? Fuck no, it tasted pretty good but it was kinda overpriced at $4.99.

Croque Madame, ham, tomato, Gruyere, dijonaise, artisan brioche, bechamel, sunnyside up eggs. This thing was huge but obviously, it was mostly bread at first glance. The sunnyside up eggs were spot on, whites cooked through and the yolks sunny and runny. Let's commit seppuku on this creasture and see what comes out...

Ain't a bad looking sando on the inside and it's kinda giving me a blood flow... It's a hefty portion but strangely, I kinda want to motorboat this madame. This sando was so thick there was no way you wrap your filthy hole around this... I resorted to cutting it up into smaller pieces to eat this thing. It was not bad at all... I have had some horrendous versions elsewhere and this easily tops them. I can see how this could be a kickass hangover grub in my near future.

Traditional Breakfast. Those who are not that adventurous should try their 100% guaranteed All American breakfast... It will satisfy even the most discriminating taste so that Brad doesn't have to fill out paperwork or kick 100% of some bald douche's ass since it will never be sent back due to it being a little bit under-cooked. Ok, I'm lying... It's not 100% guaranteed but I'm still gonna have a helluva piss, Hamilton.

Smoked Salmon & Roasted Veggie Frittata, ciabatta toast. A little bit on the thinner side for a frittata but it wasn't bad overall. Not much smoked salmon in there but the veggies made up for it. The ciabatta was kinda hard to chew and the rest of the plate was filled up with the old leafy greens trick. It's a try it once kinda dish and move on... But I'm sure some mook on Yelp will say this is to "die for"... Please do, so I can have your seat.

I know it's just a generic breakfast brunch lunch joint but I kinda like this place, it's clean and sterile and has some character to it... They try to give it that country hip vibe with all the wood accents and edison bulbs but it's just way too clean to mistake this for some genuine hillbilly shack and you can see corporate's fingerprints all over it. This franchise's grub is not bad and the price is pretty much on point for this type of grub for the masses, especially, the gringos... They can't get enough of this type of vittles, just like Panera. There's a lot of options on the menu to choose from and I would prolly go back to try the Elevated Egg Sandwich... I know it ain't gonna be as good as a NYC BEC or LA's eggslut... But the pouch has to try it at least once... And then report back to my one fan with my findings.

2571 Blackmon Drive
Decatur, GA 30033

Friday, May 5, 2017

Wats Crackin Garlic Crab

The pouch was laying on the couch spread eagle scratchin it's one ball through the hole in it's underpants watching What's Happening and wondering what it was gonna have for lunch since Shirley was always serving up something fierce at Rob's Place... Then a Red Lobster commercial came on talking about their crabfest and the pouch instantly knew what it wanted to stuff itself silly with. No, not an unlimited supply of Cheddar Bay biscuits... But a shitload of buttery and garlicky crabs that Rerun, Dwayne and Raj only wishes they can catch. All I could think about now was crabs and more crabs while I continued to stare mindlessly at the boob tube and scuff on my one cheekan oyster. I was in a crab trance... All of the sudden I was pretending that I was on my own sitcom called Wat's Cracken'in and the entire show was about nothing except crabs. Jesus, I really have no fucking life do I? It's pathetic, I know... But fuck it. I got in the pouch mobile and turned on my radio and Major Lazer came on... Shiiiit, I cranked it to 10 because I love this song... Then I remembered the knobs on my Realistic cassette deck player goes to eleven. I was poppin' and lockin' to Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt. Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got a... But mine was more like bubble pouch, bubble, bubble, bubble pouch. Jesus Christ, why am I writing this blog again? Thank god, no one reads this shit...
So, if y'all never heard of Wats Crackin before that's prolly because your parents afforded you a comfortable upbringing with fancy clothes, a fancy house, fancy tastes and imparted upon you with a fancy education at a fancy school and told you to stay away from places like this and pouches like me... It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. This crab shack is located in one of the most sought after neighborhoods in all of Atlanta if you are a member of the Crips or Bloods... MS-13 has been trying for years to get into this exclusive stretch of Candler Road, but discrimination, hate and intolerance is obviously still alive and well in 2017.
The parking is pretty small and there's always that one mook that blocks the exit to the one way circle parking lot. I got there before noon and the shit was out the door around to the back. Like with the Soup Nazi, be prepared to wait on line just to get in the door and then wait some more to put in your order at the window. The waiting room is kinda scary and silent... As if there was a seance in progress. I know people were in deep thought and waiting in anticipation to rip open that bag-o-crabs and dig in when they get home. I was totally in sync with them as well... But it was just too eerily quiet like a hospital waiting room, it kinda reminded me of that stint I had at Bedlam... I'm not crazy I swear, I just got on the wrong short bus. Nevermind that, we got some serious crabs to scratch and sniff up in this piece...

No rocket science degree needed here to decipher this hieroglyph... Just an appetite the size of a blackhole... Or da pouch. They just raised their prices by 25% in May but for the amount of food you get it's still kinda worth it. This menu snapshot was before they raised the prices.

Snow Crab Combo vs. Blue Crab Plate vs. Crab Cake.
So, it took about 48 minzies from start to finish to get my to go order... The bag was so heavy, I had to change hands at least 4 times walking to my car, my fingers were bright red just like my cousin Vicki's from stirring the Kool-Aid at the family picnic. The two styrofoam boxes in the double plastic bags weighed like 15 pounds, no fucking joke... You know how the handles of the plastic bags start to cut off the circulation to your fingers because the shit inside it was too heavy and you have to switch hands like every 20 seconds? For a minute there, I thought I got fucked again like that time I bought a brand new PS2 from a van in the Aldi's parking lot and all I got was a wet phone book wrapped in plastic bags when I opened it at home. Please don't be wet newspaper in those boxes... I just had that for dinner on Tuesday night. Got home, spread that shit out on newspapers because it was dripping with grease and garlicky butter and it was like opening Marsellus Wallace's briefcase... Warm rays of golden butter beams hit my face. No, for reals, the pool of butter in the boxes literally splashed up all over my face when I opened it. Make sure you put a good amount of newspapers or cardboard underneath the boxes because it's gonna get messy.

Snow Crab Combo. The combos come with shrimp, too. But look at that beast... It is fucking piled high and wide. Shit was falling out everywhere once you open the box... I don't know why I started singing dick in a box when I saw the sausage... But where's the goddamn snow crabs?

Blue Crab Plate. It is ridiculous the amount of food they can fit inside that normal sized take out box. This crab party had so much potatoes and sausages that I wanted to call some girls to come over... But I couldn't find a copy of the Creative Loafing for the back page personal ads... Nor could I find the blue crabs. Pity party for one... Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my pouch in the mashed potatoes! 

Excavated exhibits... Once, you have separated all the chunks of taters, sausage, shrimp and corn... The fucking crabs are finally revealed in all their glory. Ok, let's start with the redhead stepchild first... The crab cake. It was average size I guess... Oh snap, that's what she said. It was soggy from being inside a sandwich baggie and it had a lot of filler in it. For $4, I guess you get what you paid for, it was kind of a sad specimen... So, skip it and stick with what they do best. I paid $20 for the snow crab combo with shrimp and that is an incredible amount of grub for that money. The blue crab plate was $13 without the shrimp and it's still more than enough to feed 3 people. The huge chunks of taters were seasoned very well and soft on the bite, the big sausage chunks were the standard issued seafood boil varietal, corn cob was as expected and everything was soaked in a massive garlicky butter bath. Make sure you got everything you need before you start this feast- like shell crackers, picks, forks, napkins, a big gulp with a long straw and lots and lots of newspapers to catch the never ending waves of greasy butter. There were about 3 or 3.5 clusters of snow crab which is nuts... And about 3 whole blue crabs cut in half. Seriously, I still don't know how they got so much fucking food in those boxes, it's like goddamn Houdini cooking back there. The snow crabs tasted fine but not ultra fresh and the blue crabs were a bit out of season, not as sweet but still tasty. Overall, it was totally worth it to try it at least once in your measly lifetime... And you will have leftovers, lots of it, so... It's kinda like eating here 2 or 3 times in your measly life.

Some people loves this joint and some people hate it... But one thing's for sure, they are absolutely fucking killing it here. They are constantly busy and they worked hard for it... I'm happy for them and they keep their customers even happier with a pouch full of buttery sea creastures, carbs and tube steaks. This is the type of crabs you don't mind getting on a regular basis... But if you hooked up with a skank on the back pages of the CL, you might want to have your Johnson checked out... Like my daddy says, "Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it."


368 Candler Rd SE
Atlanta, GA 30317