Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Wahoo Grill

It's been awhile since I made a revisit but all my past visits were pretty decent. It's a reliable neighborhood resto that proved they could stand the test of time and stay in business after all these years. Let's see if they can prove to the pouch if that still holds water... Well, in the pouch's case, it's more like whiskey.
The joint still looks exactly the same as it did and they still get a pretty good crowd. The bar in the back was dark, sad and lonely... I don't know why they haven't moved the bar to the front, it's all about window dressing, make the joint look happening even if it isn't. People like to see a bar from the street while they're driving by... It makes the statement that they have booze. I like booze... And fwied cheekan. They still have both, so, let's go see what the fuck is up with them nowadays...

Fried Calamari.spicy hoisin and mayhaw-citrus sauces, crisp banana peppers. This dish is as old as PEI mussels in some type of wacky exotic broth. It's still crispy, crunchy and a bit chewy. Same as it ever was. It's one of the great gimmick dishes that never fails to sell... In any resto.

Crab Bisque, crab meat blended with cream and a touch of sherry. It's a pretty basic recipe but it works for this hood. The consistency was fine, not too thick and not too thin. It was fine in a generic kinda way but nothing that memorable.

P.E.I. Mussels, chorizo, saffron broth, grilled bread. Speaking of the fucking devil... Here's the motherfucking mussels. In a chorizo and saffron broth no less. A bit small on the size of the mussels but who's expecting plump medium+ sized mussels here. They were average and acceptable, as expected.

Southern Fried Chicken. Does anybody really care if it's from Springer Mountain after it's been fried to hell? It's like a broken record with every place that uses Springer Mountain chicken... The whole organic free range bullshit is out the window once you deep fry that yardbird. Having said that, this fwied cheekan is still decent but not crave worthy enough to make it a destination because it is all white meat, zero dark meat here. The crust/batter was a medium thickness coating which wasn't bad, it was pretty crispy. The white meat, of course, was kinda dry inside. The mound of mash and greens were all filler whether it be on the plate or in your pouch. I rather just get a 8 piece box from Publix and sit on a curb and chow down on that, instead.

Beet Salad, braised beets, goat cheese, walnuts, bacon, sweet onion, spinach, arugula herb-cider vinaigrette. Not a bad looking salad... Pretty decent looking actually. It tasted like how it looked, pretty tasty. At least it's colorful unlike the previous dishes.

Duck. I think this was a special for the night. A decent amount of duck breast fanned out but that arugula salad looked like they just poured it out of the bag, undressed. The duck was cooked pretty much spot on, maybe a tad over but it was still pink so it's ok... But the overall dish looked so damn dry. Undressed salad, not much of a sauce for the duck except that berry compote thingy. It's a very home cook version.

Charleston Shrimp & Grits, sauteed and simmered in a spicy tomato cream sauce over creamy stone ground cheddar grits. Nice plump skrimpz, kinda looks like it's from the shrimp cocktail but the star of the show was just too soupy. I hate soupy grits but people like to call it creamy sometimes when it's been sitting around for too long. This would be a great version if it was at a QT gas station. Ok, it wasn't that bad but it was just so average at best... And how do we know it's really from Charleston? I had some fucking kickass S&G's there, these didn't taste like them...

Brasstown Beef N.Y. Strip, 10-ounce grilled, Wahoo! steak sauce, cajun fries, grilled onion. Why do I wish that the onions on top was a onion volcano instead? Those onions were barely grilled, maybe they wanted it "flame kissed". Nothing like raw crunchy onions to put a film on your taste buds before you bite into a piece of manmeat. The strip was fine, cooked pretty much spot on mid-rare... But overall, it was just so generic looking. Piece of meat, onions on top, fries and sauce on the side... Longhorn's and Outback's does the same thing... Wait, Outback's gives you side options for no additional charge.

Cod. Not a bad looking piece of fish, pretty chunky... Too bad it was undercooked, raw in the middle. Sent it back and it still came out a bit undercooked. Well, it ain't gonna kill you but it may if you send it back for a 3rd time... All I heard playing in my head was "Boogers and cum, how about some feces with your flounder?"

Bliss Cake, a wahoo! favorite! warm, semi-sweet chocolate cake with hints of ginger, cinnamon, red wine, hazelnut whipped cream, chocolate ganache. It looked like it made a Hershey's squirts trail from one end of the plate to the other end. It did a zig zag formation to disorient you, kinda like how you would run away from a alligator. I wouldn't call it a Bliss cake because it wasn't all that joyful in my mouth. It wasn't bad, like everything else it was just average, almost store bought quality if you will.

Even with this lackluster visit, I think this is still a perfectly decent neighborhood resto for this area. I would prefer to go to Dish Dive before coming here but if you have a larger party this would fit the bill fine. The food isn't gonna blow you away, it's standard American fare and it's average. The menu seemed like it hasn't had a make over in years and there is nothing here that anyone would consider adventurous eating, so it's safe. The only thing I wouldn't do again is sit near the open kitchen, I don't know if the vents were working properly that night but you come out smelling like a grease trap afterwards and it took days to get rid of the grease smell from my jacket.


1042 W College Ave
Decatur, GA 30030
404-373-3331
http://www.wahoogrilldecatur.com/

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Royal China

Royal China has been just OK for me over the years... The dim sum wasn't the freshest but the menu dishes were decent, not bad not great. It was a good back up... And boy, did this joint ever saved the night from a horrendous recent visit at Oriental Pearl. Wanna hear about it? Shit, mofos, of course you do!
OP has always been my go to joint for consistent and quality Cantonese vittles. The dim sum was always on par+ but Best BBQ has taken the #1 spot for dim sum the last couple of years. Their regular menu items were spot on most of the time, I have always had and said good things about OP... Until now. Made a large rez for 7PM one recent Saturday night before Chino Munkee New Year, they had no problem handling that, the place was pretty packed but only a few tables had food, wasn't really a concern in the beginning but I had that spidey sense tingling in my pouch. It took forever to get tea or water to the table, it's usually you sit down and out comes the tea pots and cups... Nothing came out for 15 minzies. I only spotted 4 servers for the entire place. None of them came by, had to wave down the fucking hostess/owner/monkey trainer... Said, she would be right with us. I called bullshit... And was right, she totally ditched us. Waved down a server and he got 1 pot of tea for a table of 11... Yeah, that sounds proportionate, motherdick. Water took another 9 minzies to come out. Ordered a bunch of dishes and waited and waited, the fucking bowl of soup finally came out after waving down another server. The fish maw soup was just ok, tasted like it has been sitting out for hours. Waited and waited some more like an hour after ordering. I scanned the room with the same people at their empty tables, waiting. I ran next door to the food court to get some dumplings to go and went back to the table, still fucking nothing. I mean this was like almost an hour and half already. The owner said to stay put, it's coming... Yeah, it's like a 90 year old woman saying she's cumming any second now, just keep pumping away, sonny... Fuck that shit, I told that dried up cunt owner this was the worst visit I have ever had in over 10 years here. No wonder why so many servers and cooks quit, she said I was lying, "don't say lies!". I don't have to say lies dumbfuck, I can count the number of servers on the floor and the cooks on the line. She told me to go back to the kitchen and see how many cooks she has back there... "People are getting food!" she says. I started pointing to at least 10 tables with no food since we got there and the people at the tables were laughing because they were fucking pissed off, too. I was the only retard with balls to speak up... With a little help from my friend, Whiskey, of course. We walked out and the owner tried to stop us... Fuck off, skank or else I will pour this pot of cold tea on your floppy fried egg titties and fart in your general direction. I will hiss and cut you if it demands it. Who you trying to get crazy wit, ese? Don't you know I'm poucho?
All that malarkey and hilarity lead me back to this back up joint... Old, Royal China. Still looks the same outside and inside but the menu is all shiny and new! A giant multi-level laminated menu full of professionally shot photos of Chino dishes... This made me suspect of the food. Almost. It reminded me of JIA in PCM with their shiny colorful laminated menu as well and their food sucked a giant donkey sauce squirting cock. But beggars can't be choosers at  9:30PM, yeah we sat at that shitshow in OP for over 2 hours for fucking soup... Soup ain't a meal, Bania can tell you that. It really was like an episode of Seinfeld at that goat rodeo. But... Royal China's new and improved menu didn't look halfway bad. It looked good and we ordered a bunch of classic safe dishes, didn't want to jinx the limited luck we had at this time of the night. The hot tea pots and water came out within 3 minzies... We're off to a good start. So far...

Eggplant, String Bean, Pork Belly. Goddamn, this looks savory, saucey and chunky... Perfect for this munkee. Shit was delish.

Scallop Nest. This was just ok... Decent amount of scallops but they overloaded the dish with too many stalks of celery and the nest was made with deep fried vermicelli noods. Skip it next time.

Pan Fried Noodles. Classic street food noods... Perfect toothy texture on the noods and the flavor was spot on. Good simple dish. Can't fuck this up but I have tasted worse.

 Chinese Fried Chicken. Can't fucking celebrate year of the munkee without some cheekan... Ultra thin and crispy crackling skin with a somewhat tender meat, a bit cool on the temp but hey, cold fwied cheekan from the fridge the next has always be killer. I wasn't expecting this to be made to order but it was still pretty good even ordering this late at night. I would get it again only if I came in earlier so they can make it to order... All crackling and juicy.

S&P Shrimp. Anyone who doesn't eat shrimp with the heads on is just a fucking putz. The best part of the shrimp is sucking out all the brains and juices within it's head... Then eating the head itself and chasing it with the body. Good stuff.

S&P Squid. Who doesn't like this Americanized dish... Lightly battered, fried to a crisp and generously seasoned with salt and not much pepper... But it was still tasty as fuck.

Pea Shoots. These damn things used to be so fucking inexpensive... Until the roundeyes started ordering this in mass and exhausted the supply. But this shit is still tasty... Tonight only. 

Tofu in Soy. Not exactly the most exciting dish in the whole but sometimes you need protein one way or another... Just not up the butt.

Beef Chowfun. The standard of all standard noodle dish... If you can make a consistent one over and over again, you will have a special place in my heart. This version was not too shabby. Correct size noodles, the right color, the right amount of grease and thinly sliced tender beef. It's a good beef chowfun.

Clams in Black Bean Sauce. This is another classic Cantonese dish... But they we a bit chintzy with the amount of clams, some shells were empty but the ones that had clams were pretty tasty. The black bean may have a bit thicker than usual for this dish. It's an ok dish, but better with more clams.

Royal China saved what coulda been a Popeyes night, not that Popeyes is bad, it's fucking amazing but just not for a pre-Chinese New Year's dinner. My go to Oriental Pearl turned out to be a fucking bloody goat abortion... We made like a fetus and headed out for the front door. I will fucking rank on those motherfuckers from this day forth until they have proven themselves worthy once again... And it won't be anytime soon. But until then, I will try not to bust Royal China's balls that much on their dated and gaudy interior design... Along with their history of really shitty health scores. But their newly designed menu deserves some recognition and their no bullshit service was able to seat a large party kinda late on a Saturday night quickly which was well appreciated. Is it the best Chinese vittles in town, fuck no, but they are a great back up skank when the bitch you wanted to slay is out fucking some other fat douche bag.

5399 New Peachtree Rd
Chamblee, GA 30341
770-986-9866

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Community Q BBQ

I just watched a documentary called "Cowspiracy" and had an instant hankering for animal agricultural beef... But secretly I just wanted to contribute some greenhouse gas emissions of my own after consuming an abundance of some quality smoked manmeat. There are a lot of BBQ joints in this one horse town but only a handful are in actual competition with each other... The "others" are just total garbage and such a waste of meat because they suck at making Q. Don't ever boil meat unless you're making a beef stew.... Yeah, Fat Matt's, I'm looking at you, motherfuckers... And what the fuck does George Goddamn Clooney really knows about quality BBQ anyhow? But let's make a revisit to an oldie but goodie and see if their shit still stinks of smokey goodness....
Community Q has been around for awhile and they consistently put out quality shit. Let's see if they still do after all this time... The place was packed on a recent Sunday night. C'mon, you fat lil piglets, put in your order and move it. They really need to learn from the master, the Soup Nazi, in line ordering etiquette. I ordered my shit like a pro under 60 seconds and planted my fat ass in an empty booth nearby... Waiting, impatiently like a dry mouthed Ethiopian child with a bloated pouch looking into a Chipotle. Five minzies later and my platters arrive...

Half pound of brisket to start the pouch juices and meat sweats flowing. Still one of the best examples of sliced brisket in this town... The bark, smoke ring, flavor, tenderness were all there as you can see it with your own brown eye. Also, got a half rack of ribs to continue the flow of the gastric spunk within this pouchy creasture. I don't know what kinda fucking sorcery is this but there is something magical about sliced brisket made well.

I was still hungry so I shared a 2 meat 2 sides combo with a couple of extra piglet nibbles on the side... Ribs and sliced brisket (again), Brunswick stew, mac n cheez, smoked sweet tater with kale and the banana pudding. I really don't need to tell y'all how good it was because it was and hopefully will always be consistent. If you haven't been here after all this time, I don't know what the fuck your deal is... But get your fat ass over there. Just don't be that indecisive prick that doesn't know what you want and hold up the goddamn line up... Especially, when I'm there behind you. I will cut you and bite your ears off.

Burp.

1361 Clairmont Rd, Decatur, GA 30033
404-633-2080
http://communityqbbq.com/

Friday, January 29, 2016

Staplehouse

I have read and heard so much about this place that I was kinda skeered to come here before they have gotten their game down with the consistency and execution... I didn't want to be let down. This joint has been on my radar for weeks and I wanted to go every single week but just couldn't bring myself to do it... I wanted to go when they are at the top of their game but if it turned out to be a disappointment, the pouch woulda done what it does best... Blowing shit up with no remorse. It's been awhile now since they have been doing dinner service regularly... I guess it's that time to face the music. I know Ryan Smith is a seasoned cook and a good one at that, so I had a feeling it won't be as bad of a shitshow as I make it out to be in my tiny useless squirrel brain... But at the same time, I'm repeating "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." over and over again in my head. Can y'all sense that I really don't want to be disappointed here...
Snuck in under the cover of darkness one recent week night and headed straight for the bar... It was pretty quiet overall which was perfect but I couldn't believe the demographics in here on this night. It was all older well dressed whities... In this neighborhood? Am I missing something here, was it mistress night or something? A girl in the corner of the bar ordered a Cosmo, yeah, a fucking Cosmo! Now, I'm thinking this was a hangout for escorts. If there is a fucking silver Lotus Esprit parked outside and that sex on the beach in the corner starts talking about it riding on rails, I am fucking outta here, yo. Shit, I'm just hijacking this post to avoid talking about this joint aren't I? ...Focus, pouch, focus. Hell, let's just get it over with and see what damage there is at the end... C'mon, SH, work it baby, work it, own it....

Beef Tartare, sake bushi, celery, puff rice. When it came out, it looked a little thin... But once you put that meat in your mouth you'll know why this was not a bigger portion. The beef was diced almost a brunoise size which basically melted in your mouth. The contrast of textures in this simple dish was well thought out. The puff rice gave it that crunch to offset the ultra tender cubes of beef and the sake bushi basically like a powder bonito flake all paired well together on the palate. I think we're off to a good start, so don't fuck it up, yo. Give me another cocktail... I'm getting a blood flow.

Baby Cabbage, sunchoke, pork belly, wintercress. This is my kinda wedge salad! This cabbage wasn't raw and crunchy but instead it was soften and warmed, topped off with cubes of crispy pork belly. It was a different approach to what sounded like a very simple dish on the menu... Which I couldn't believe that I liked it as much as I did.

Braised Beef Neck, celeriac, oyster mushroom paste, rye. This is why I love restos like this that cooks what they want and give customers a little something more adventurous to discover. At first glance, the perfectly chopped chives on top took me back to the days in the kitchen where I have prepped buckets of these perfect little fucking rings day after day for my mise(ry) en place. The chives gave this slice of  "terrine" beef neck a little color of brightness than just a brown patty on a plate like a slice of meatloaf. Come to think of it, a couple squirts of spicy homemade ketchup would be a nice play on this dish as well... But that's just me, a sicko. The beef necks were really good, a little salty on the finish but it works. The neutral tasting celeriac wedges and puree balanced that saltiness out. It's a good looking and good tasting dish. I approve.

Roasted Mushrooms, farro piccolo, Charleston gold rice, sunflower, crisp egg. This dish is just good menu writing. Everything in here just works perfectly together. You get a lot of different textures and colors. It's so simple but yet so good. You can smell the woody and earthy notes from the gorgeous mushrooms.

And the nice surprise here was the crisp egg hidden in the middle. Crispy on the outside, soft boiled on the inside... Mix that shit up all around and it's fucking fantastic and oh so savory. I really liked that crisp egg and the soft yolk pulls this dish all together. These motherfuckers are seriously working me here with their dishes so far... I do keep a pair of knee pads in the car just in case you want to go that extra mile.

Rabbit Boudin, dark roux, chioggia beets, celery. This dish is just stunning, crazy ass colors and textures once again. That rabbit boudin was pretty awesome from the great color on the casing to the smooth and savory sausage mix inside... When I saw the word boudin, I was thinking of blood pudding. How fun would it be if they had mixed in some rabbit boudin noir? But the rabbit boudin blanc alone did not disappoint. The chioggia beets were really good too except that I wished it had retained it's candy cane color. Another excellently executed dish.

Baby Carrots, aged beef fat, broccoli, dandelion greens. The thing that got me on this dish was the "aged beef fat"... What the fuck is that? Yes, exactly as it sounds. The creamy "sauce" had the savory notes from the fat but without all the greasiness. Mix it all up with veggies and it's like a pseudo vegan orgy in your mouth. Those baby carrots were spot on and the char from the broccoli florets gave this dish the smokiness it needed. I can't believe that I liked an all veggie dish... Even if it's not 100% vegetarian but you will never notice the beef fat if they didn't mention it.

You can't enjoy this bad ass spread without a cocktail or two... Penicillin, Gran Torino, Old Fashioned, Life of Ryan, Oaxaca Flacka Flame, 20th Century, The Ivey League... Ok, maybe I had 7. Gosh, I am such a fat fucking alchie... But if Stuart Smalley can be happy with himself with all his faults then I can too... Because "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." ...Now, pass the booze.

I am no sommelier but I can drink the shit outta some vino... I've been into Malbec for awhile now and who knew the dominant grape variety in Cahors wines was Malbec. You learn something new everyday, even for this unread fat alchie. This half bottle of wine was really nice but it also came with a price... Totally worth it, though.

I'm not even gonna beat around the bush here... This place fucking kicks ass. The talent in the kitchen is one of the finest in this town. The creativity, the technique, the execution, the presentation, the price and the service really makes this joint a destination spot even if it's in a shitty ass neighborhood... Oh, excuse me, an up and coming hood. If the a la carte menu was this skillful, then I will definitely be back to try the chefs tasting menu one of these days. This was far from fine dining, that's not their style but it was dining at it's finest on this night without all the pretentious overpriced shit found elsewhere. It was fun dining. Let's hope they'll stick around for awhile and I'm still on the fence with their prepaid tasting menu... I just don't think that system will work for this town like it has in cities like Chicago, Atlanta just ain't big enough to support it. And it just seems way too invested for most people. But I still like what they're doing here.

Burp.

541 Edgewood Ave SE
Atlanta, GA 30312
404-524-5005
http://www.staplehouse.com/

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Dish Dive Mondays

I think I have said to my one reader in the past that I adore this place. This tiny ass space is the definition of a local joint for the local yokels. I have been here a handful of times and it has lived up to my expectations every time. I have been on a pilgrimage in search for the mecca of all lobster rolls in Atlanta... C'mon, puh-leez, we all know lobster rolls suck in this one horse town. Ok, they don't suck suck but the lofty price paid for them was basically a robbery in progress. Shit, what is it with this town and charging upwards of $30 for a smallish lobster roll. I have made lobster rolls for less than $10 and they were 100 times better... But sometimes I'm just a lazy piece of lumpy cow muffin and don't feel like picking the meat outta the shell, so I get suckered into paying those sky high prices only to get kicked in the wallet and nuts again and again... That is until, Shane put a cute Vietnamese spin on the classic lobster roll on DD's special Monday menu. And get this shit, it's under twenty-fucking-dollars. SOLD, motherfuckers!
Everyone knows what this joint looks like and how it operates, it's basically a dining room with a kitchen... Enough small talk, let's just get to the good stuff.

Banh Maine. Don't bitch and complain to me about having shallots on top... I'm a classic lobster roll kinda pouch, myself but I also know this ain't no classic lob roll either. That's why it's called a Banh Maine... But at it's soul it is a real lobster roll, just with a little hint of Vietnamese finesse. The top split bun was from Alon's which was spot on and the lobster meat was finished off in butter. The dry rub dusted prawn chips are a nice touch to keep it within the theme.

Buttered and toasted... Finally, a place that does it right. It was a very well stuffed roll, err, banh Maine. The lobster meat was spot on, not over-cooked and rubbery like most places. The meat was so tender like little pillows of sweet buttery clouds. The shallots and celery leaves worked well, it didn't take away or tried to distract you from what you're actually eating. This was a very tasty lob roll and the $19 price tag made it even more dericious.

Cabbage & Green Papaya. This was an impressive mound of ruffage. I love me some Som Tum... But so many Thai joints fuck it up so badly. I wasn't expecting an authentic Som Tum here, fuck no of course not, but since this menu tonight was all about Asian grubbery, I had to try it... And I'm glad I did. This shit was real tasty, the only thing it needed was more fish sauce and lime juice for the acidity. But overall, this nouvelle version bested most Thai joints in town. The mint played very well in this dish as well and the little fried onions and garlic gave it that extra crunch.

Pork & Crab Eggroll. I know what y'all are thinking... $8 for 3 eggrolls may seem pricey to the slutty Chinese grubbing roundeye but the filler inside ain't the same chopped up rabbit shit cabbage you would find at those other dumps. This was filled with a good amount of pork but the crab was a bit on the light side. Still really good, though... Although, I woulda fried them a tad bit longer for a more golden crust. I ain't complaining though, just a personal preference.

"Monday's with Shane"... Sounds like a public access television show. Wait, a minzie... That's a good idea.

Theses bastards did it again... They did dun good to fill da pouch up with tasty vittles once again. Like I said before, we need more of these local yokel joints, it's good for da hood and for da pouch. Places like this give cooks the freedom to make what the people want and the kick ass lobster roll was everything that I was looking for in this town. Double D is off da hook, riding da bus to flavortown, so gansta, it is so money that you'll want to shut da front door... My bad, that's the other public access TV show with that flaming hair cocksucker, Triple Dicks. No donkey sauce here, thank baby fucking Jesus... Was that too much? Was it out of bounds?

2233 College Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30317 
404-957-7918
http://www.dishdivekitchen.com/#about

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Iron Age

Ever since Iron Age took over the ginormous space that was once Sydney's Buffet and then Hy Buffet, it has become a giant K-Pop night club that I like to call... Club FOB. It's got that underground vampire vibe with the blue lights and K-Pop videos blasting on giant screens through out the cavernous space. But this ain't no ordinary club, it's like Disneyland for slants... With the smell of AYCE Corean BBQ wafting in the air. For $23 you get an unlimited meat selection of assorted flavors and marinades of pork, beef, chicken and octopus. It's a great fucking deal if you're a fat piece of shit like me. They actually paid someone to print menus that slashed out "$25" to "$23" to make you feel like you're getting a deal... Which you totally are. Their limited banchan options pretty much sucks ass except for their ultra velvety and smooth tater salad and grilled rice cakes... But seriously, who the fuck goes to an AYCE Corean BBQ joint for the banchan filler? You're there for the mounds of meats... I'm getting the meat sweats just thinking about this mouth orgy and how I am going to shovel all that manmeat into my face gash at a steady and efficient pace like a pro on gangbangs.com. You need a game plan before entering this bottomless fiery pit of bloody flesh. The challenge is quite difficult to conquer every option on the menu... So, bring a gang of your own choosing to bang the meat out. Let's go eat some meat and don't forget the tissues...

This nether world filled to the brim with FOBs, raw meats and sometimes unbearable K-Pop teeny bopper music. It's a fucking spectacle and it's awesome.

The meat list. 2 chickens, 7 porks, 7 beefs, 2 intestines, 1 octopus. The beef soup was pretty decent as with the japchae but the grilled rice cakes were very tasty with the spicy sauce.

You get to order 2 meat platters at a time. Sometimes they give you a single serving and sometimes they give you a double serving, there is no rhyme or reason... I think when they are so busy they just shovel a mound of meat on the platter just to get it out. They are pretty damn fast with the response time. They also change out the grill plate constantly so the crap sticking to it doesn't smoke and burn. Very efficient.

Octopus. These were not small by any means, one serving had about 5 medium size whole octopus marinaded in a semi sweet and spicy sauce. They took a few minzies to cook because of their size but none of it turned out chewy. I would get them again. I wanted to get the intestines but no one at the table wanted any and no way in fucking hell would I eat the entire serving myself. But I will get it next time.

I'm getting the meat sweats just looking at this... After multiple platters of meats, I think we had about 10 servings plus all the sides... I was dunzo. Especially, after the Iron Age Soy Beef Steak... It looked like a fetus put through a meat tenderizer. It was a giant mound of babymeat and I ate all of it, even the placenta. After inhaling that load in my mouth, I was paralyzed. I have hit the brick wall and my pouch was stretched out more than Kate plus 8's belly and it looked like a badger attacked it with extreme prejudice. I could barely fucking walk outta here let alone get out of my chair.

Mission fucking accomplished... Just waiting for the gout to set in, now.

2131 Pleasant Hill Rd
Duluth, GA 30096
678-584-9098

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

W.H. Stiles Fish Camp - Dub's

This joint was the last on my list to visit... Somehow, in my bizarre mind, I wanted to save the best for last. I wanted to wait for the lobster roll to end my culinary tour in the PCM. I mean they are part of the Bacchanalia empire after all, so I expected nothing but quality from them since everything else in this food hall has been lackluster at best so far... Maybe this place will be that one gem in the rough.
The space is laid out alright I guess, the squiggly bar out front and the normal seating in the back. I sat at the bar but one thing really baffled me... Why aren't there hooks under the bar to hang your shit? For seasoned restaurateurs, why wasn't this cheap but important item installed along the entire bar... I've been to shitholes and dive bars that even have hooks under the bar, but not much else.
Billed as a fish camp, the first thing I looked for was the elusive fried clams with bellies... None were to be found. Sometimes, the fried oyster appears on the menu. But it's off the menu more than it is on. It's a pretty much straight forward menu of mostly fried seafood and sandos. But of course, the lofty priced lobster roll was the main attraction here. Let's sample a few items and see if this lives up to all the hype from the tourists.

Sweet Jesus, Skip Jack, Bodie Island, and one other I forgot. Look, it's no Kimball House... I'm like a broken record. No one still has an oyster program like them in this town. Dub's do have a daily rotation of different oysters which was nice. These oysters were decent but they lacked the finesse you would find at KH. Cleaning/prepping, schucking, presentation and taste were adequate but nothing all too exciting. The schucker dude was a trip, a super nice and cool guy. For the price of these bi-valves, I expected a little bit more... Just save your money and head to KH, instead.

Crab Beignets. Puffy doughy gut fillers. They were just ok, nothing really that exciting. After two bites you will be kinda over it. There's not much crab in there, at least make them crab flavored fried dough nuggets.

Chowder. There were more cauliflower and tater cubes than seafood in there. Hell, there were only a few kernels of corn, too... One would think they would overload it with cheap filler to make it more hearty looking. Too bad this was mostly cream and a few chunks of veggies... Weak weak seafood chowder. Those bread ball thingers were stale and hard... Prolly been sitting around since they opened.

Shrimp Po'boy. This was kinda visually appealing because the fried shrimp tricks you into thinking that it's bigger than it is... The bread/roll was small so all that stuff was just piled on top. You can't even fold the bread around it halfway. Shit was falling out everywhere. The shrimp was good if it was just fried shrimp alone but a panko style coating/crust doesn't do it for me in a po'boy vehicle. I prefer a wet batter or a cornmeal crust for a po'boy... But that didn't matter in the end because the bread was not made for a po'boy. Deconstruct it and eat it with a fork, you will be better off. Come to think of it, I was never a fan of their shrimp po'boy at Star Provisions because every time I tried it, it tasted like eating aluminum foil, had this metallic taste to it... Just didn't taste right unless it was sourced from the Chattahoochee's finest.

Lobster Roll. The price of this creasture just keeps inching higher and higher. It was $22, now $24. A friend said it topped $26 one time. It's a tad below an average sized lob roll. The use of the top split bun was spot on but it wasn't really buttered and toasted. The lobster filler were a mix of tail and claw meat which was fine and expected. It looked a bit overdressed but it was bland... Lacked the sweetness of a great lobster roll. You would think it being overdressed would give it some more flavor but this overpriced bottom feeder left me more and more depressed bite after bite. It looked like it had promise but at the end of the day, it was pretty much average at best and I was $24 poorer. Why do I always get suckered in for a lobster roll when I should know better. Shit, if Longhorn's had a lobster roll, I would be dumb enough to try it just for shits and giggles.

The "Today's Catch' sando was a fried cod sandwich... Which seemed to be the "Everyday's Catch" but it was pretty generous overall. They slapped on two size-able individual pieces of fried fish between the large bun. It was crispy and hot but it was pretty much unseasoned. The layer of slaw was overdressed, wet and soggy... Luckily, the thick bun held up to all that smegma. I wasn't that lucky, though, that jizz squirted all over my face when I tried to take a bite. This pic makes the lob roll much larger looking but it wasn't, the cod sando was almost twice the size. It wasn't a bad fish sando, just not as good as you would think coming from their pedigree.

Looks like the new trend to casual dining is all about seafood, you got all the new crab boils opening up on Bufo Hwy recently and fish shacks like Dub's in PCM and BeetleCat in Inman Park... I'm still waiting for someone to open a fish joint in KSM. Some sucka will prolly do it in time. But as for Dub's, I guess it fits the narrative in this food hall. Pricey, showy and perfect for the tourists that come in droves to be part of the big city. I don't love it and I don't hate it, it's just another option for the sheep to graze inside this hall. But if they had fried clams with bellies, that would a total game changer.

675 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
404-900-7900 
http://www.starprovisions.com/fish-camp/