Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Vero Pizzeria

Brookhaven has become like a controlled experiment breeding Village of the Damned like demon spawn beings... These northern urban clans all look alike with the same inclination in clothes, cookie cutter homes, cars, mates, the exact amount of kids and tastes. This area consists mainly of ex-college frat and sorority kids that have just started to grow up and acting like adults by showing each other how awesome they are but one thing these entitled pikers still love to eat is the lowly pizza. So, Vero, a relatively new 'ZA joint boasting a fancy Acunto oven is sandwiched between sister restaurants Haven and Valenza. It was always on my list to try but there were so many other great 'ZA joints on my rotation list that made this a backup to a backup option.
In the beginning, they weren't very well organized in the whole ordering and delivery process. Why would you have customers order at the counter, then try to find a table and good luck having the servers deliver the right order to the right table... What a total shit show that was until they finally realized it had to be 86'd and go back to the normal proven way of a server taking your order and delivering the correct food to your table. I seriously wonder where these people's head were when they thought this would be a good idea. Haven and Valenza have always delivered decent meals for me in the past... I guess it's finally time to bite the bullet and drive all the way to Whitieville and sample what their Acunto oven is pushing out... I hope it's worth the wait or else I'll be pushing something else out in their water closet.

Crostini, olive tapenade, oven roasted tomatoes, mozzarella, prosciutto. Looked pretty nice when it came out... Until further inspection. This was billed as an olive tapenade but upon further inspection, there was .01% of some sort of olive spread thinly layered on the bread underneath all that garden shit. I was expecting the pungent flavor of the olives to burst in my mouth but it was so flavorless that it was left sitting on the plate until the server came back and took it away... He did return with another one that was coated slightly a bit thicker with the purple paste. I don't get it, are olives really scarce right now? Did someone hijack a huge shipment of olives and holding them for ransom? They really need to just omit the olive tapenade part and stick with cherry tomatoes, mozza and prosciutto bruschetta thinger.

Burrata, prosciutto, charred winter squash, saba. After that bread thing debacle, this came out and it showed promise. The sack of burrata was very decent but what matters most is what's inside that ball sack. Everyone wants a creamy white filling inside that explodes in your facehole... And mostly it was. It was very decent for $8 and of course, the prosciutto is always good and the saba (fake balsamic of reduced crush grapes) was surprisingly refreshing. It's not the prettiest visual but it worked.

Farm egg, guanciale, pecorino, black pepper. I know, I know, why didn't I just get the classic margherita pie... I wanted something different to see what their Acunto oven can do with the right pizzaiolo manning it. Even though, this style of pie isn't new to the 'ZA scene, it is kinda craveworthy nonetheless... This version showed promise when it came out with an egg on top, then a girl came out with a spoon and broke the yolk and tried to spread it around, then left with the spoon and half the yolk still on it. WTF, yo! I didn't ask you to break the yolk and you didn't even ask me if I wanted it broken... Jesus friggin Christ, I'm pissed off already and I haven't even put my stubby finga on it yet. The pie didn't look too bad, a bit chintzy on the toppings and the pie was kinda small, I know they're trying to do the traditional Napoletana style but c'mon, for the price I'm paying, I like it bigger than 10"... That's what she said. The 'ZA was ok tasting, nothing outstanding. The blisters on the crust looked great but the entire dough/crust was crackly instead of a nice crisp on the outside and then finished with a perfect chew. The bottom was also a bit greasy. The whole Yolkgate kinda ruined it for me and the pie was just pedestrianly acceptable for this region.

Ricotta, mozzarella, maitake mushroom, garlic, parm crema. This also sounded pretty tasty and for parts of it tis was... The shrooms, whole garlic and ricotta were good but not much else. I keep coming back to the crust and wonder why is it so cracker like... It has a decent rise on the outer crust and nice blisters but it has no chew at all, how is that possible for 2 minzies in the Acunto? There was barely any char on the bottom, either. I guess it's just a bad dough because I usually eat the crust when it comes to a Napoletana style 'ZA. Notice the pools of olive oil randomly on top of the pie... I think you're suppose to drizzle that on before it goes into the oven. And of course, all that oil seeped to the bottom after pulling the slices apart. It was a pretty dull pie... I shoulda stuck with the classic Margherita...

It must be that time of the month... Look at all that grease. Ate a couple slices and then gave up...

 
Cannoli... Or a ground beef burrito, perhaps a sushi roll from a bodega. Just skip this and the desserts all together. Get your check and leave before you do anymore internal damage.

I was kinda disappointed with this resto group's attempt at Napoletana style 'ZA and most likely will never go back... It looked great on paper especially with the prized Acunto oven... But the product coming out of there was lackluster and kinda disrespectful to the proven Acunto oven. Just stick with their other two restos, you will be better off at the end of the night... Then you won't have to look around for another joint to eat at... But there's always Popeyes, they stay open late. You gotta look for the silver lining in every bad resto experience, in this case I ended up with some dericious crispy crunchy spicy fwied cheekan lining the sides of my bowels. I slept like a filthy slut after a proper rogering.

1441 Dresden Drive #120
Brookhaven, GA 30319
http://vero-pizzeria.com/

Friday, August 19, 2016

Baldinos Giant Jersey Subs

Year after year, I keep driving past this sub shop and year after year, my pouch says to me, when are we ever gonna stop in there and try it out, you dingus? I tell my pouch, shut the fuck up and mind your own bidness. I feed you when I'm ready to... Then the pouch starts mumbling and rumbling... I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips... You'll get nothing, and like it!
So, after the pouch's hissy fit, I decided I would shut his ass up once and for all with a surprise visit for a couple subs. This place supposedly has been "Serving the Best Subs in the World Since 1975"... Has subs even been around that long? That's like a century ago according to millennial math. Fuck millennials, they don't even eat bread with gluten... Shit, people back in the 70's were inhaling gluten by the gallons back then, didn't give a shit or complained about it and they even lived to tell about it now. Let's go check out the subs and see if we develop a stylish condition with all that gluten in there.

Italian Special, thinly slices of pressed & boiled ham, extra provolone, salami and pepperoni. There's something very low rent and redneckish with the shredded lettuce, but somehow I adore it. Maybe because it takes less effort than to chew whole pieces of iceberg lettuce which then also lessens the time for the meat flaps and gluten to slide down to the pouch to shut it up from complaining like a little whiny bitch. The bread here is pretty good, I like it, it's perfect for a sub... But the bottom does get soggy somewhat quickly from all the Eyetalian dressing. So, turn it upside down because the top piece is more robust. It's a pretty standard Italian, the dressing is acceptable and not too herby and vinegary, there's a good amount of meat in there even though you can't see it too well hiding underneath all that vegetable shit. For the price of a half, it's a decent size sub and it will fill up your saggy fat bag.

American Special, lavish layers of turkey, boiled ham and roast beef. I really like the sound of "lavish layers" of assorted meat flaps.... So, on Sunday's they have this American Special with a soup or side for like $3.79, which is a fucking steal, yo... You can't beat that white bread with a stick. You also can't have an American Special without loading it the fuck up with 'nanner peppers and pickled japs... What exactly is an American Special sub... Who the fuck knows but it was pretty good. The bread they use here are spot on for a sub, it hold everything together pretty well.

Chicken Noodle Soup. This reminds me of the soup and bread from the Pine Street shelter when I stopped in to see what all the fuss was about their food many moons ago... Hey, I saw a big line outside and had to check it out. This cheekan noodle soup was nothing special but it helped to wash down that sub with silly lettuce strings. That dinner roll thinger was as big as the bowl of soup... Who needs that much bread.

I get how this place has been around for so long, it's relatively cheap, it's made fresh with pretty decent ingredients and the daily specials truly are a deal. They have cooked dishes and pasta salads as well but you basically come here for the subs which are totally acceptable but not super memorable. They also have a philthy cheesesteak but c'mon, how good can that be? I guess I will have to find out next time when the pouch starts moaning and groaning about never finding a decent philthy in this one horse town.

5697 Buford Hwy NE
Doraville, GA 30340
http://baldinos.us/

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Hot Cafe - Laos. Thai. Chinese.

When you see a run down strip mall with signs falling off, pot holes the size of Mama June, hobos sleeping on the curb, plywood on the windows and gunshots in the distance... You know you have just arrived in Laos.... The entire strip mall looked like it's been around since the Depression and haven't changed a bit in decades. This joint has been around for over 20 years, it ain't pretty to look at on the outside and inside but you know it's a goddamn gold mine for authentic ethnic vittles when you get dripped on by the AC unit right over the front door... And I ain't talking about a drop of condensation every 5 seconds, it is basically pouring out of the unit at 5 gallons per minute. They're basically taunting you with a triple dog dare to enter. Seriously, this is the first test to separate the real eaters from the wannabe hipsters. Most people will never come down to this exclusive area except for Tyler Perry and the Pouch. But finding Laotian grub is a lot more difficult than the ubiquitous Thai and Viet joints that line up and down Buford Hwy.

Laos is sandwiched in between Thailand and Vietnam... Which makes sense on their front sign but what about the Chinese part? Well, anyone who knows anything will know that Thailand and parts of Laos is full of Chinos and they have influenced their cooking for many decades... While Vietnam and Laos had a lot more French influence. The menu is pretty evident of their heritage- pho, mee soup, banhcan (noodle soup), lard na, pan fried noodles, pad thai, pad se ew, lab, yum, lo mein, fried rice, pad king, tom yum and a bunch of specials like roast duck, curry and slutty Chinese American dishes.
Let's go check out this dump...

Fried Beef Dry, glutinous rice. The most ridiculously thin and flavorful jerky in this one horse town. These jerky are so damn good that you would shoot someone over it...I just heard another couple shots in the distance. See, even they know this shit is good. You can't have Laotian grub without their national staple, the sticky rice, and this was excellent... The crackers may frown upon the basket that it's served in because there is no plastic wrap lining it. But if you want authentic and the risk of getting some jungle virus, this is the only way to eat it.. with your fingers! Here, smell my fingers...

Fried Sausage. Another Laotian favorite street snack... Look at these beauties, it's like the neighborhood pitbull just took a deuce on a plate... I can't wait to put this in my face gash. The charred skin has that crispy texture as if they lightly flashed fried it, then you get to the porky goodness inside which was tender and flavorful with spices and hints of lemongrass and the bits of waxy fat are reminisce of the Chinese waxy sausage. The chew on this sausage is indescribable, you will just have to eat it to know what I mean... And it's glorious. These are the real deal.

Fried Chicken Wings. Wangz? I know, right? Who the fuck in their right mind would get this? I know what you're thinking... Does it come with fried rice? No motherfucker, it doesn't but it does come with a sweetish red sauce that tasted kinda old... But who cares about that dipping shit, the wings are fucking amazing. How can this be? It is ultra crispy, the skin is thin and crunchy and the meat was juicy. They are addictive, I even ate the tips of the wings, that's how fucking good they were. The family at the next table ordered 3 full sized plates of it, that's fucking 30 goddamn wings and some of them were whole wings. Even the 4 year old ordered a 5 piece with fried rice as his main dish. You know there's something mystical about these wings when the local slopes are ordering these in mass.

Papaya Salad. A lot yahoos who have ordered their papaya salad think that it's too wet and funky... Saying it's too much fish sauce and vinegar. Stupid motherfuckers, you have no fucking clue what you're eating and then pretending to tell us how it should be. Laos style papaya salad, especially here, have shrimp paste... Something that most people never even heard of or used. Hot Cafe uses a lot of shrimp paste added to the ferment fish sauce to give it that rusty pipe water look. You can tell the shrimp paste by it's funky smell, texture and taste. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is damn good and they could make it super spicy as well. Even the mild version had some kick but it does peak quickly, so order it medium spicy so it doesn't destroy your taste buds for the other dishes. I like how they give you some cabbage and pork rinds for a little different contrast and texture.

Pan Fried Noodle with Pork. So what, I didn't get the lard na... I thought long and hard about it but I was craving some pan fried noodles. To tell ya da truth, this wasn't far from it... It's basically the same stir fry mix with the slutty brown sauce you get with the lard na but the noodles are crispy instead of soft wide rice noodles. If you let it sit long enough the crispy egg noodles will get soft from the gravy.Yes, it looked fucking slutty Chino grub as hell to the eyes, but it tasted so much better in your facehole. You get the soften noodles from the gravy and then the crunch from the other ones. This dish shows you how much Chinese influence are in their cuisine.

Everything I have sampled here were damn tasty and some were outstanding... I would have loved to have seen some Lao sandwiches on French baguettes on the menu here... But seriously, how much can two old little ladies do back there in the kitchen? Their menu is extensive enough. There's a lot more to try here but it's hard to get away from the beef jerky and sausage... Even the wings. I will try to sample a different dish on all my future visits. The basil fried rice and green curry sounded very tempting but until then, I will still be dreaming about them beef jerky and sticky rice.

5286 Riverdale Rd
Atlanta, GA 30349

Friday, August 12, 2016

Cook Out

This may be the only time that I wished a fast food joint had an open kitchen so you can see what the fuck is going on back there... There is just something wrong and sneaky about placing your order with the team member behind the counter out front while she spits the order through a mic to the back. What the fuck is back there, I wonder... Every now and then one of the gremlins sticks their head out to see what's going on. It seems very shady to me... Shit, this whole place seems shady to me... Why is there a mountain cabin theme? There isn't even a fucking sink inside the bathroom, it's outside the bathroom like at the Renaissance Festival. Whatever you do, don't fucking wash your hands with the round blue "soap" in the trough... Excuse me while I puke a little in my mouth.
I have never been to one of these places, but every one of these locations is slammed packed all the time... Which is usually located in a pretty shitty area that no cracker would ever deliberately live near by, unless you're a hipster millennial. What is the draw here? Why is it so popular? There is no fucking way this food is that good... You know what they say about the cat... Curiosity made the pouch fat.
Let's go see what all the fuss is about... Do I need to get really fucking drunk before hand? Sounds like I should... Ok, maybe afterwards.

Double Burger Combo, chicken nuggets, fries.You would think a combo for $4.99 would be the way to go to sample a bit of their stuff... Look at what came out from behind the curtain. Let's just say there ain't no wizard of cooking back there. Is this a fucking joke? I've seen week old Happy Meals that looked more appetizing and they give you a toy also. 3 dried out pink slim nuggets, shit doesn't even come with a sauce. I guess ketchup is for everything here. The fries woulda been good if they were freshly fried, these have been sitting under a heat lamp on low for hours... Limp and dried out like the Joneses in apartment 15 at the Sunrise senior citizen home. The burger looked like a three-toed sloth made it. The bun was all wrinkled and looked like it was sitting under a brick. The lettuce looked like it was torn apart a la Mr. Hand to Spicoli's school schedule. The leaky mustard and ketchup underneath the bun looked like it was hand painted on. The crusty overcooked double patties inside reminded me of two gorgeous thinly shaved black truffles... Too bad, even a pig wouldn't shove his snout into this. This burger was worst than any shitty back yard  BBQ I have ever had. It was so plain, bland and boring.

Double Burger Combo, bacon wrap, onion rings. Ok, we already know how bad the double burga was... But what's this? A bacon wrap? It was basically a low rent burrito. Gummy flour tortilla filled with bacon strips and chopped up bits. There's something interesting about this until you put it in your mouth. It's just goddamn terrifying. If you closed your eyes and took a bite, you would think you're eating a gummi bear with pop rocks inside a hand towel. The mushy feel with grainy bits of texture and the aromatic essence of clorox makes you want to gag instantly. It's such an ugly display that it shouldn't even be called a Mexican't wrap... Let's just call it a Carlos Danger because you don't want that wang anywhere near your mouth. The onion rings in the lowest form of flattery were prolly the most edible part of this dirty box.

After sampling these morsels, my conclusion is... You gotta be real fucking drunk or have the palate of a billy goat to eat here and keep it down. Why do people love this slop? I have no friggin clue... Maybe because it's cheap and when you're drunk at midnight you just don't give a fuck what you put in your mouth except that it's cheap filler since you spent all your loot on booze and blow... Or maybe this slop reminds them of when they were kids, eating junky fast food that satisfied their childhood cravings and memories of innocence and not ever gaining weight eating shit like this... After all, we are all still kids at heart but just in saggy fat bags.

Flush.

Ok... I also had the limited edition watermelon milkshake which was pretty decent with chunks of actual watermelon. The sweet tea was ultra sweet, pee in it to pH balance that bitch.

Another courtesy flush.

Locations found in shitty areas.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Noble Fin

Now, since 4th & Swift in midtown has shuttered after 8 years supposedly due to all the pedestrian food halls and the new Buckhead in Inman Park/Quarters... The only place now to sample their cooking is at their new joint in way the fuck upstate GA. I would prolly never come up here if I didn't have to but since my office is in the hayseeds of Norcross, I might as well take the opportunity to sample a few dishes at the weirdly placed location... The same exact spot that I watched a Dreamland BBQ burn down to fucking ashes. Dude, have you not seen Poltergeist... Don't fucking build on top of dead half-assed smoked/BBQ'd meats. If I see a clown sitting in the corner in here, I'm gonna shit my phantom underpants since I don't wear any. And make sure the cable box is turned on before you turn on the TV itself... A white fuzzy static screen is not cool when you're trying to eat a rare steak at the bar, I don't want that shit to be crawling across the top to the MILF sitting next to me, you will fuck up my chances of a proper BJ in the back seat of my Jeep... And some pink cookies in a plastic bag she just made fresh for her kids... Which I'm gonna crush later.
So, this joint has been receiving some decent reviews from the local yokels and mossbacks up here. Since, no one from ITP will ever venture out this far to give a glimpse of the offerings, I guess I will have to do it... Because I don't trust anyone's taste, not even mine... But what the pouch does have are a very particular set of skills, skills it has acquired over a very long feeding career... What those skills are still yet to be determined. So, let's take a first bite on this newest outpost in upstate Georgia. There better not be any banjos playing up in this piece or else my piece is coming out blasting.

Maine Lobster Roll,  celery leaves, lemon pepper chips. For $19, I don't know if it's pricey or not for the hinterlands... You just don't see much seafood up this way but if there's a lob roll on the menu this plump lil dumpling will order it. Look at it, it doesn't look half-ass bad... Just stop it with the celery leaves in there. Keep it simple and dressed accordingly. The bun itself was pretty damn good, buttered and toasted correctly all the way around. The lob filler was dressed a tad too much and contained more claw meat than tail. Take out some of the celery leaves and it looks a lot more appetizing. The lobster meat was tender and sweet, so it really didn't need all that dressing to begin with. The slight buttery crunch of the top split bun was perfect with the decent size lobster chunks. The fingerling tater chips were really good. Overall, this was a very very decent version of a "Maine" lob roll... Was it worth $19? I would say yes but with the added cost of driving all the way up here, it really turns out to be a $25 lob roll... But it comes with tasty chips, though.

Maine Diver Scallop "BLT", pork belly, green goddess aioli, arugula, spiced tomato jam, toast. Reading the menu description really throws you off after you visually see it in person... The letters "BLT" makes you think you will be eating it with your hands like a sando... But this was more a fork and knife kinda dish. The scallops were good and seared properly, golden brown unlike most places that are basically black and chewy. The green goddess aioli tasted like nothing if you closed your eyes, the spiced mato jam was pretty decent. The frozen hash brown triangle toast looked pretty good but it was way too greasy and left a film in your mouth. It's a decent appetizer.

Beef Tartar, brioche toast, watercress mayo, baby romaine. Those greasy hash brown toast again! Seriously, who eats tartare with thick ass pieces of greasy toast like that... But if they were half the thickness it would work. The tartare itself was very good, a very nice brunoise size dice of quality raw meat. The baby romaine was basically the center pieces of a normal size romaine... Which was used more as a colorful plate filler. Use the chips from the lob roll for the tartare, that pair up nicely with the perfect sized bite.

Rigatoni with Clam, dolin blanc, calabria chili, guanciale, oregano. This sounded great on paper with all the "foodie" buzzwords... And for the most party it was but it was also a bit sloppy. Some of the clams were a bit gritty but nothing too over the top where it distracted you away from the overall dish. I liked it but with a bit more tweaking and attention to details I woulda liked it a lot more. It's a good start, it has good bones to build upon... But not in a swimming pool. Shit, right back to the Poltergeist references.

There's no doubt what demographic they are trying to cater towards here in this area... One look at the apparel coming in through the door should tell ya. Well off, gaudy, segregated white people driving fancy cars who talk the bullshit talk while ordering a white Zin... I mean none of these old ass manscaped fuckers ordered a real man's drink... Whiskey, bourbon, rye, take your pick, I won't even make fun of you if you got vodka. They got a decent whiskey program for a new joint, not extensive but better than average... But they don't know how to fucking price out the labels. Why is a Whistle Pig the same price as a Bulleit... None of the pricing made sense, I was totally baffled. If I'm paying the same price of a Willett for a Jim Beam, why the fuck would I drink that shit... Oh, wait, maybe I'm paying up for the Suntory name now but yet they don't carry any Japanese whisky. Besides, the tomfoolery at the bar, the place is pretty nice as well with the staff but they need a lot more training. They also need to print out a liquor menu because none of the bartenders know what the price is, they had to log in every time into the POS and look it up. The menu itself is promising with a little more work on execution and plating, it's more than adventurous enough for the palate in this area. People coming here ain't looking to expand their taste, they're looking for familiarity and maybe a little more just to pretend that they're intown. I like the place and it will do well in this area but I don't know if this will be a destination for me... Maybe if someone was expensing it.. Then drink all the Beam-Suntory swill as you please! And order 4 lobster rolls...

5260 Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Corners, GA 30092
http://www.noblefinrestaurant.com/

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Taka Sushi & Passion

Taka was one of the better sushi joints intown for a long time, he was almost up there with Soto. When Soto left this one horse town after 13 years of trying to broaden the rednecks palates with some innovative Japanese cuisine for the bright lights of NYC (which made him famous almost overnight)... Atlanta lost one of the best sushi chefs in the country that no one knew about. But there was still Taka, toiling away and trying to continue Soto's work in his little corner of a place off some side street in Buckhead. He always had his following but it wasn't enough to do the things he wanted to do... And then the rent hikes skyrocketed with the rodeo drive of Atlanta, you know, that shithole with all the awful restos in one place. Taka closed down and moved up to Roswell Rd across the street from one of my favorite Popeyes location. No one knows if this is Sandy Springs or upstate Buckhead... But who really fucking gives a shit, right? The new spot took forever to open but it's open now and there seems to be some lack of traffic during the weekday lunch service already and who knows if lunch service will be scrapped to save money... But they are supposedly doing well during dinner service... Shit, let's go get some dinnah...
The space is modern but has a Japanese feel to it as well... The sushi bar with high stools is modern and kinda have that dark cold feel to it... I don't know if I would want to sit at the sushi bar. Looking around, people really don't seem to belong in here or how to act, they all seem so fake like blowup dolls to make the place look happening. I really don't give a shit, so send some booze this way and a menu, STAT... Let's sample a lil bit of something each...

Popcorn Okra Japanese Style. They're basically okra tempura, tasty and crispy, not slimy or moist inside. You can polish these little green nuggets off in a jiffy.  

Grilled Black Cod. Everyone does the ubiquitous miso cod... Let's try just the grilled cod. This is how it came out... Looked like the dishwasher was scrapping shit off a plate. For the amount of money spent, you would think they would present it in one piece and not split open like a hatchet wound. But it tasted really good, flaky, seasoned well with a bit of sweetness from the caramelized glaze. I don't know if I would get it again, it was good but not $16 good for a small piece of cod.

Uni Zukushi. "All about sea urchin"... Shit, for $23, it motherfucking better be. This presentation was better because it was on a fancy plate... That alone is like worth $2 already. So, you got an assortment of uni on top of a bunch of shit... You know, dericious shit like... Otoro, scallop, sweet shrimp and squid. Ok, maybe this dish was worth it. They are small bites but packed with flavor and sublime texture. Shit was good, I could use 10 more of these, portions are small.

Sashimi Sampler. Speaking of small... This sashimi plate was a joke when it came out. I kept staring at it hoping it would grow like those tiny magic growing sponges... But they didn't. These are some of the thinnest smallest slices of sashimi I have ever seen, eaten and paid normal size money for... But they did tasted pretty good and were quality... I just can't get over the "two chew and swallow" sized pieces. Dude, you got to do better... Maybe your demographics in this area don't get it but I do... Don't fuck a brotha from another mother out of standard practice sized pieces... These were like something you put on the end of a hook.

Sushi Omakase. So, when you order an omakase and paying a decent amount of loot for it, you expect it to be visually presented on a more elevated level... And then this came out... On the smallest motherfucking plate available. It's like a tiny hors d'oeuvres plate at a low rent wedding. The shit was all jammed together and almost falling off the sides for crying out loud... But the slices were actually normal size. Seriously, I can make a prettier plate like this at Nori Nori for less than half the price with unlimited rounds... Ok ok, I know the quality here is like 10.9 times better but this chef's choice of nigiri was just good, not great... And I don't even see the fucking fried sweet shrimp head anywhere on this cheese plate. Jesus Christ, I had to ask for it... And they made a stink of it... Like anyone of these fuckers in here will even eat this with his eyeballs staring at them.

Sweet Shrimp Head. It finally comes out and it looks glorious! It was damn good... I could eat like 20 of these beauties and be ok with it. The brains were real fresh on this one.

Tamago. Sometimes, I like to see if there's real talent behind the bar and it's not with how they slice the fish or how much uni they can stack on top... It's hidden in the most simplest of things. Yes, inside a fucking egg omelet. A true sushi master can make this omelet look like an easy simple task, even though, for us retards we have no clue how much experience and years of practice goes into this one little dish. How do you know when this was executed with a master's technique? When you bite into and you pitch a tentpants... It's slightly sweet, fluffy but yet firm and the texture is sturdy but gives way and melts naturally with the heat and moisture inside your dirty face gash. This version here was 70% of the way there. It tasted good but the layering and cut was amateur... Looked like a Fruit Roll-Ups made with egg. It's ok, if you're looking for a filler.

I'm glad Taka reopened with a nicer more modern space, he deserves it. He's a smart and talented guy... He ain't stupid when he underslices the fish with smaller portions, he knows the crowd in this area and they don't know shit about sushi and they're ok with fucking rolls and Taka is ok with taking their money to the bank with these low food cost items. This entire place on this night was ordering about 98% rolls vs sashimi or nigiri, etc... I think this pissed me off more than he did. After all, he's got skyhigh rent to pay. Sadly, this place will not be going on my sushi rotation for the time being and I don't see him or his passion doing anything different going into the future (if it's not broke why cut normal sized sashimi?)... I was still starving after all this and I was tempted to get the ramen, then I remembered his ramen from the Buckhead days... Next. For the money, I rather spend it elsewhere and there's no lack of good sushi and izakaya joints in this town these days.

4600 Roswell Rd NE E110
Sandy Springs, GA 30342
www.takasushiatlanta.com

Friday, July 29, 2016

Savage Pizza

The Savage Pizza in L5P really fucking annoys me like a dingleberry that's latched on to one of your ass crack hairs for dear life and you're crying like a little bitch trying to pull it off... This is not the time to do the bandaid technique because it can draw blood... Kinda like what I want to do to some of the dirty mooks inside the L5P pizza spot. But their Avondale location is totally the opposite, it's a stand alone location hidden a couple of blocks behind Pallookaville. The building looks like an old strip joint, you can almost smell the cheap perfume still lingering around the building and hear the clap clap of clear acrylic 6" stiletto platform shoes haunting the back rooms. 
This location appeals to me because I don't have to deal with annoying as fuck nitwits that think they just earned a political science degree after watching the RNC/DNC on the TV. Seriously, stop fucking trying to convince me why you are right and everyone else is wrong... I'm just here to eat some glutenized carb heavy 'ZA, subs and calzones... And perhaps with some animal bits on top. 
The scene was pretty quiet on a recent Saturday night... I assume this location gets more deliveries and take out orders than dine in because they only had one server working the entire place and she was pretty busy running around checking on the few tables that had people. I haven't had the food here in a very long time so I have no fucking clue what's in store for the pouch... Let's hope it's halfway edible.

Bolognese. This pie's got red wine marinara sauce, Italian sausage, sun-dried tomatoes, red onions, mushrooms, parmesan and mozzarella cheeses. Doesn't sound halfway bad... And it didn't look halfway bad when it came out. For a no style 'ZA joint, it was pretty decent looking and tasting. The preparation and execution was consistent but the only thing I did not like was that they cooked it on a perforated pan, you can see all the little holes on the bottom of the crust. Did I think this was gonna be NY or Napoletana style? Fuck no. But for a local pizza, it will do.

Italian Sub. Yeah, this is a sad motherfucking sight...It's all bread and they didn't even try to trick me with enough filler to jack it up. This was no Eyetalian sub... It's like a sando that you would make if you were out on a boat on the lake... It's just for survival or filler to soak up all the booze you have been pounding on Lake Lanier.

Spinach Calzone. This really surprised me when it came out... It looked really nice, like they actually gave a shit. I couldn't fucking believe how professional this looked... And it tasted pretty damn good too. The marinara was not too sweet and not too watery, it was just right... But I coulda used some more of that bloody goodness. They never give you enough marinara anywhere. I love calzones, there's just something about it that makes me giggle and wet like a school girl... Reminds me of eating one out, too. Jesus, Pouch, you are one sick bastard... Do I sound like I really give a shit? More sauce, Ma! We need more sauce, STAT. 

After all these years, Savage Pizza still pleasantly surprised the pouch with their pies and calzones... The subs, not so much, so forget that noise. But let's not kid ourselves here, it still ain't no NYC 'ZA or Napoletana pie made in an Acunto or Ferrara 900 degree oven. It's a decent acceptable product for the south but I would still never go near the L5P location because it's a total goat rodeo... But their country location in Avondale, I would come back again and try the other 'ZAs and ZONEs... But not too soon, though.

115 Laredo Drive
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
http://savagepizza.com/