When a fish joint is out of fried oysters at the beginning of service with only a handful of patrons in the place, that's a problem... When they say but we have oysters on the half instead, that's an even bigger problem. So, what you're basically saying is that we have oysters in the house but we ain't gonna use the fresh ones for frying. What happen to hospitality in this industry? That means your fried oyster app is either from a giant plastic bag from the back of a truck or from a bucket of factory shucked oysters sitting in warm salty water with preservatives. It's gonna be fried anyways, so, these fucking nitwits wouldn't even notice the difference between fresh and frozen. Looking around the place, I'm sure the majority of the Buckhead Betties wouldn't be able to tell, either. Know your customers' tastes and give them what they deserve.
I have been here a couple times before... And with each time it didn't get better. But I thought it would be better now since Shane Touhy has taken oven the kitchen head honcho position (he's also exec-chef at Milton's, too. Yeah, cause that makes sense). If anyone remembers, he was chef at Dogwood, a relatively decent upscale-ish "new southern" resto that went kaput a few years ago. They blamed the economy for their demise and not for their terrible location. So, what's the next best thing? A fish fry shack. Hey, this economy sucks dick, it's either occupy the front door of a greedy bank looking for handouts or take a job slinging fish sticks. But good for him, though, he's working at least... Let's see some of his work in action shall we...
Conch Fritters.The special of the day. Hmmm, special say you? I lurv me some conch frits... But these were just hushpuppies in disguise with a few tiny tidbits of conch or maybe it was calamari. Who woulda known the difference right? Damn you Bahamas for ruining it for me.
House Smoked Fish Dip - served chilled with pita chips or crackers. So, the menu says you have a choice between pita chips or shit crackers... But none were offered and when I inquired about it, server says it's only served with white trash Ritz. Thanks for nothing, Rabbit. The dip was ok, tasted like fancy feast in a can with Liquid Smoke and amped up Old Bay. Thanks for nothin', 8 Mile special.
Pepper-Seared Tuna - black pepper seared sushi grade tuna, cucumber salsa, dill, and a sweet soy chili vinaigrette. Is it me or does this tuna look like it had a bout of IBS? Someone get me some wetnaps, STAT... We got a squirter! Besides the dismal plating, the tuna was as expected and nicely defrosted to retain the bright coloring.
Crispy Fish Bites - served with lemon and tartar sauce. 2 out of 3 ain't bad... Who needs lemon juice on fried fish anyways. These weren't bad, crispy outside and steamy moist inside...
Basil-Blue Moon Mussels - Prince Edward Island (PEI) mussels, poblano peppers, onion, fresh citrus, wine, smoked tomatoes and Blue Moon beer. Served with toasted bread. I'm getting tired just reading all those ingredients. One would think with such a descriptive dish it would actually taste good. We all know mussels are cheap as dirt, it's like $2.99 for a huge bag at H Mart (at least 3 doz in a bag)... But if it's made well with plump fresh mussels, I'll gladly pay marked up resto prices for it.
Look at this poor excuse of a mini hatchet wound, PEI my ass. This salty gash looked like it was accidentally cured and smoked. Half of them were bad, tasted like a dirty hobo's taint that hasn't been wiped with a damp cloth in months. The other half were basically empty shells. The broth was like the collected foam from the beer tap trap, settled and warmed up. This was prolly the worst bowl of clam flap I have ever eaten in my life. They actually charged real money for this. Awful.
Shrimp Po'Boy and Caribbean Lobster Bisque – slightly sweet & spicy with lobster, blue crab, tomato & island spices. I don't understand... What is going on here? I thought a po'boy used a baguette and not a Pepperidge Farm hoagie roll. A few slices of pickles and shredded lettuce make not a po'boy. The batter on the shrimp was so thick that it formed a dense protective shell that prevented the shrimp from actually cooking all the way through... Shit was translucent inside, mebbe this was a sweet shrimp po'boy from an izakaya. If the Death Star had that batter as an operational shield, Luke woulda been S.O.L. The Caribbean Lobster Bisque was quite the specimen... Oily, salty, tasted like tomato soup, not one bit of lobster and a spoonful of canned crab meat, look at how stringy it was. This was so piss poor, a soup kitchen would laugh at it. I don't know what to tell you... I'm as baffled as you are.
Super Grouper - grilled, fried or blackened and topped with cole slaw & remoulade. Chickpea, Tomato & Cucumber Salad as the side. No way they can fuck up a blackened grouper, I mean it's basically a burnt piece of fish. Take a look at the filet, what color is it? A Filet-O-Fish is darker than that. No way this was cooked in a cast iron. Take note of the portion size between the coleslaw and the remoulade... Dyslexia in the kitchen I assume.The chickpea cum salad... You don't want to see a pic of it, let alone taste it. Next...
North Atlantic Grilled Salmon, red-jacket potato salad. Look at that plating... Mmm mm, just like how my college roommate plated our 2 minute and 15 second gourmet meals. Ding! But the salmon was fine, boring, like every other menu in town. The baseball shaped potato salad thinger... All it needed was red-stitching. Oh, and don't forget the giant cup of hard, over-cooked hushpuppies to pad my ever-growing ass with. If I ever lost an eyeball or ball, I know where to find a replacement.
Cold LOBSTER Roll (seasonal) – chilled lobster tossed with a touch of mayonnaise, lemon, and fresh herbs and served on a toasted brioche roll. I don't even know where to begin with this specimen... I think one look says it all. Absolutely hardcore... Hardcore like a used up 48 year old porn star, a lot of flap but not much pink. I should really be an optimist and look at that roll as half full instead of a half empty piece of crap. Parmesan corn on the cob on the other hand wasn't too shabby. Imagine that, a boiled corn on the cob, how do they do it? I want the recipe. Atlanta just doesn't know how to make a proper lobster roll... Makes me cry.
Don't ask. I have no clue what this creasture is... Placenta, maybe? Could also be the retarded cousin of the strawberry smoothie in a beer mug at Toulouse from the days of yore.
Like in baseball, three strikes and you're out... And I'm out of this stadium for good. There were more misses than hits in this grease pit. It's like a glorified Long John Silver's but with white table cloth prices. Everything on this menu is like roulette, you have one in 38 chances to hit a winning dish... Well, at least one that's acceptable. Ok, it wasn't that bad but the mussels were that it overshadowed everything. There is just no consistency or passion in the kitchen, nor do they know how to cook each dish properly. But it's wonderful for the Buckhead crowd, they seem to love it. There, I said something nice. Now, fuck off.
Fair Rating.
3279 Roswell Rd
Atlanta,
GA 30305
404-474-9508
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