Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Redux

The Pouch has been on a fried chicken mission lately... How much fucking fwied cheekan can this disgusting fat bag eat everyday? The answer... Well, y'all know the answer to that... A chicken shit-load, that's how much. Fuck me, I gained so much weight in the last week... The Coneheads ain't got shit on me... This fat fuck coined the term, Consume Mass Quantities, motherfuckers.
So, everybody and their mothers have been killing each other to get their hands on the Popeyes Chicken Sando 2.0. Y'all have seen all the stories on a daily basis. The lines have been out the fucking doors and down the street at every location... And they aren't slowing down any time soon. What is it about the Popeyes chicken sando that is making these mooks go medieval on everybody's ass? Is it really that good that people have to kill for one or are they just doing it to post it on Instagram and other social media platforms just to get likes? I'm 99% sure it's the latter... Because I had the two different sandos when they first came out in August and they were good but not crave-worthy enough for the Pouch to wait on line for another. Popeyes swore it would be back like the Cyberdyne Systems T-800 in a couple of months... And they kept their promise... And so did the pedestrians like the good Pavlovian dogs that they are. Ring the fucking bell and watch the terminators come to feed. Ding ding... Time to eat, Pouch. Yes, my master...
Believe it or not, the Popeyes on Clairmont and Briarcliff was not that crowded on a recent week night... I shit you not, there was like 3 people in there but it still took like 20 minzies to get two friggin sandos. Not a big deal, but took that shit outta the joint, pronto, before any motherfucker tried to jack my fat ass.

Now, served in boxes! They probably ran out of the regular bags. Look at these two beauties... Talk about sweater puppies. I almost shoved my fat face between them two bronze breasteses and motorboat it. Let's take a closer look at the 2.0 sandos...

The Classic. You are one ugly muddafukka... Looked like some mook sat on it which made the box pretty useless after the fact. But no matter, it's gonna be chewed up and swallowed anyways. This was the regular cheekan sando with a creamy mayo-based sauce. The crust was thinner but maintained it's crispy crunch. The giant hunk of white meat itself was also better... Tasted like it was brined. It was juicy and had a lot of flavor in the white breast meat which are usually bland as fuck. This version 2.0 was better than the original. I guess they figured, let's make it even better on the second try... And they sure did. I'm ok with it, but I won't be waiting on line for another one any time soon.

The Spicy. This looked a lot better with a puffy top bun. The spicy Cajun sauce isn't that spicy but the batter is seasoned with a bit of cayenne to give it a little extra kick... The two elements come together to give a novice enough of a bite to tingle the tongue. I forgot to ask for the Cajun Sparkle, once again, like a dumb ass... That's because I was trying to get the fuck outta there, STAT. The spicy sando was better than the classic just because of the seasoning. The crispy crust was thinner so you're not eating a bunch of breading. The hunky white meat also tasted like it was brined as well. They did good on the spicy version... But I still think they need to put more pickles on there, they give you two slices but it really needs at least four slices.

I had four of these cheekan sandos, now, and the redux is definitely better tasting but they are still not crave-worthy enough for this fat slob to wait on line for another. The one unintended consequence of the ultra popular cheekan sando is that you will have to wait in line to get their dericious bone-in fried chicken as well... They really need two lines- one for the sando and the other for everything else. If you go to the drive-thru, well, you're just gonna be fucked then...