Hasn't Nashville Hot Chicken gone out of style already? Fuck no, if Ruby Tuesday has it on their menu as a headliner, then you know it's still very chic these days. Hot chicken has been trendy as fuck lately and it looks like it ain't stopping any time soon. Nashville's Hattie B's opened their first location in L5P in mid-2018 and every tourist from ITP and OTP has been flocking to their doors on a daily basis and they have been slammed ever since... They made so much goddamn money that they are opening an even bigger location that seats 200 sheep on the west side. I loved the original one in Nashville but the new shiny L5P has lost it's luster, the hot chicken is good but it's just not the same as in Nashville. Even Prince's hot chicken is a tourist trap now... Their hot chicken has been dumbed down so much these days that it tastes like pigeon from under the bridge.
So, does this one horse town really need another or more hot cheekan joints? Will the supply exceed the demand? Well, it really doesn't matter because people love to get on the band wagon no matter what the concept is... Just like the poke train. But that fake ass sooshee shit died off quietly into the night after a year or so. If there's money to be made, people will try to cash in on it... If you fry it, they will come... And they sure did with 3 locations in upstate GA (Woodstock, Kennesaw and Cobb). They should make a movie called Field of Thighs. I read mixed reviews about this hawt cheekan chain... But the Pouch needs to know first hand if it's shit or a hit. The first 2 locations are just too fucking far to drive only to risk being disappointed... So, I'm like if I really needed a hot chicken fix, I would deal with the shit show at Hattie B's, at least they're intown. But they recently opened a 3rd location closer into town on Cobb near Cumberland, ok, that's at least doable within half a day's ride and I wouldn't feel as bad if it sucked ass. Enough of flapping yer greasy lips, Pouch, we need more eating... Let's go sample a taste and see if it has the cojones to impress the Pouch with their hottest cheekan...
Quarter Dark, thigh & leg, creamy mac & cheese, and extra wing. Doesn't look too bad... Let's make a closer examination of the specimens...
Quarter dark, hot heat level, $7.50. I ordered the hottest level at first but then the memories of Hattie B's dry ass Shut The Cluck Up chicken came flooding into my tiny brain... I changed it to their hot level basically because I didn't want to get fucked again. The hot level aka Fiery Heat (hot but not scary) had a vibrant glossy red hue to it and it was coated evenly in all the nooks and crannies, it was quite impressive how consistent it was. I pulled the leg apart from the thigh and it was pretty juicy inside... No complaints yet! Took a bite of the leg and the crust had a nicely crackly crunch to it, the meat was moist and tender... Sounds too good to be true! But wait, there's more... The hot heat level was on par with a standard store bought hot sauce. It's not a hot chicken but a fried chicken tossed in Frank's hot sauce with honey. Was it worth the drive for this hot chicken? Nope, not at all for a $7.50 leg and thigh... You can get more fwied cheekan for the same price at Publix and pair it with your favorite hot sauce and save yourself time, gas and money at the same time. It's not a bad fried chicken but the mac & cheese was dry as fuck and starchy, it sticks to your teeth like low rent gummy bears. I heard all their sides mostly suck.
Wing, fire-in da-hole heat level (waiver-worthy), $2.50. I'm not shittin' ya, they literally made me sign a waiver for the fire-in da-hole heat level and I started to laugh and said to the girl, c'mon, it can't be that hot, you're a chain... Look at that dried out wing, I'm glad I switched the leg and thigh back to the hot. It would have definitely been a waste of money. Wasting $2.50 on a wing ain't that big of a deal if it sucked... Which it did. Ok, the cayenne coating on this thing was not as bad as the burnt and dried out STCU at Hattie B's but the wing itself was so dry and powdery. Every bite was basically like eating a spoonful of cayenne powder... I'll admit it did have a lot more kick than the hot level but it peaked after 3 minzies. It did give me a bead or two of sweat on my head but the coughing wasn't from the heat, it was from the cayenne powder. I shoulda just snort the wing, instead. Don't even waste your time with the fire-in da-hole heat level, it's almost inedible because it's just plain crap. But if y'all really want to, I ain't gonna stop ya because it ain't gonna be my money you're throwing away.
Classic Chicken Sammie, sweet vinegar slaw, $8.75. They claim it's a "Big Sammie" but it's the same size as the foam side dish with slaw. I know what y'all are saying, why the fuck did you get a chicken sammie, Pouch? C'mon, because the fried chicken sandwich mania is in full effect! But seriously, is this a joke? This ain't big by any means, ok, maybe for an ant. Stop joshing me, ese... Let's take a closer look at this Chiclet.
Sweet baby Jesus, is that Hamburglar? That motherfucker stole my Big Sammie... And left me a chicken finger. Just my luck, I get two goddamn end of the pickle slices. The bun wasn't buttered or toasted, just plain straight outta da bag. The chicken breast had a nice crunch to it but the meat itself was bland and a bit dry. I did not ask for any heat level on it because I wanted it unadulterated to compare it to the other popular cheekan sandos out there... But after a bite or two, I drowned that motherclukcer with as much hot sauce as it could absorb and threw on some slaw for that vinegary bite... But it still didn't make a difference. Their chicken sandwich pretty much sucks for the price of admission at almost $9, I could get two Popeyes sandos for that. Unreal. Skip it at all cost.
I'm gonna chalk this up to another "been there, done that, never again" category... The bone-in chicken is pretty much standard but it ain't no hot chicken... Not by a longshot. For the true hot chicken connoisseurs, this ain't the place for y'all... But the pedestrians with the palate of a billy goat will gobble this shit up. I'll take Hattie B's over this any day... And I'm being nice because they are intown. Imagine how brutal this review woulda been if I had to drive to fucking Woodstock for this slop... Let's not, instead... For da childrens.
2955 Cobb Pkwy
Ste 910
Atlanta, GA 30339
https://joellas.com/locations-georgia-atlanta-cumberland.php
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