Honey Pig Revisit

Back in the day, Honey Pig was the premier Corean BBQ joint... People waited in line for dozens of minutes for a table because it was hip and funky and there were really no other options around. Nowadays, there are dozens of options for quality Korean BBQ all around town. I was jonesing for some AYCE oriental BBQ, so, I drove to upstate Georgia to chow down on some unlimited manmeats and K-Pop at Iron Age, but it was an hour wait... Fuck that noise, the pouch was starving and there was no fucking way I was gonna sit there and watch FOBs eat plate after plate of bulgogi, pork belly, cheekan and octopus while I pulled on my baby turtle pud in the "bar" area... What was I gonna do after two pumps and a squirt? Breakers was an hour wait also and I was just at K Factory recently... Since, I haven't been to Honey Pig in a very long time, I was curious how they were doing these days... Plus, if there was a long wait, I would had no problem chowing down at Thank U Chicken next door... Because I like KFCheekan.
Pulled into the parking lot and it was packed... WTF, pouch?! You are never gonna fucking eat tonite, you fat fuck. Found a spot at the end of the lot and Honey Pig looked so far away... You mean I gotta fucking walk 25 yards to get some AYCE manmeats? Jesus, fine, this will be my exercise for the week.
Got up to the door and there was no wait... Why was the parking lot so packed? Ah, all the millennial FOBs were hanging out at Thank U, MJ's and Kung Fu Tea... And of course, they each have their own car... Thanks mom & dad. Spoiled lil fuckers.
Walked in and got a table right away in the corner. I was like fuck yeah and then I looked around the room... I sense something, a presence I've not felt since... I was at Golden Corral last. You couldn't have said it any better Vader. The place was like a hive of scum and villainy... They only Koreans in here were the staff and that's even pushing it. Did this place become a Tex-Mex joint for gringos recently? And they were blasting really really awful thuggy hip hop. I want my K-PopTV, motherfuckers! I wanted to get the fuck outta here STAT but the two gwailos with me weren't having any of that shit after the long journey upstate, these merkins were ready to face pound some AYCE manmeats. Fine, I'm game if y'all are ready to accept the consequences with your sensitive Euro-trash-pouches. 
We all got the unlimited as if there was a choice if only one person at the table got it... Then I ordered a booze combo they had on the menu of soju and 2 beers for like $20. Our server who was on his 3rd week on the job comes back and says they don't have that soju/beer deal on the POS system, there is no button for it on the screen he says. But it's printed on the fucking menu I says... He says I can still put it in separately but it will be like $2 more. WTF, yo?! He made it sound like he was doing me a favor or something... You know what, motherfucker? I. WANT. MY. TWO. DOLLARS! He stared at me like a deer in headlights... He got nothing, never seen Better Off Dead. This chode was literally fresh off the boat. Whatever, brode (a mix of bro and chode), just give me some booze before I back hand your sloppy fat face and fart in your general direction after inhaling 3 lbs of bulgogi.     
The banchan started coming out and it stopped like after 4 things... If you don't ask for it or don't know about banchan then you ain't getting it... What a great money saving scam. I had to ask for the steamed egg and spicy beef soup and sesame oil and daikon wrappers and spicy rice cakes but they supposedly just ran out. So, we're off to a good start... Let's just get to the meats.

The $27.99 Unlimited AYCE manmeat deal sounded good until you saw the limited selection of just pork, chicken and beef which made Iron Age's $23.99 AYCE deal with a plethora of options that also included seafood a much more value added package... No wonder that place is always packed, you get the whole package of sight, sound, taste and ambiance... Here at Honey Pig these days, not so much anymore. They give you so much kimchi and bean sprouts that it takes up half of the cast iron drum shaped grill pan... But I still love that great piece of cookery. The meats were average at best and most of them were flavorless even when drown in a spicy marinade. Brisket, beef bulgogi, pork shoulder, assortment of pork belly (spicy, garlic, green tea, bean paste, Berkshire) tasted the same and got tiresome after awhile... But the chicken bulgogi was the main attraction of the night, not because it tasted great but it was wrapped up in a make shift tin foil pan that took all night to cook. You had no choice but to stare at it all night long waiting for that shit to cook through thoroughly. By the time it was ready to eat, you are already having the meatsweats... Not because the meat was so delicious but because you wanted to make sure you got your $28 worth because I have no plans to come back anytime soon within the next decade. What about the chicken bulgogi, pouch? Oh, that thing... It tasted like it was cooked in a crock pot, it was mushy and lost all it's texture, but the flavor was not too bad. Shit, it had all night to absorb the marinade while it slow cooked. And to end this Kordestrian BBQ was the classic kimchi fried rice but without the dancing octopus wrapped around the stem of the cast iron grill pan. The fried rice tasted just as good as I remembered... Maybe it was because I mixed a bunch of left over pork belly into it. Why can't they just serve the kimchi fried rice first and the meats last.

The service was attentive for the first 15 minzies but after that you will be pushing that button over and over again to get them to come over to refill water, banchan or meats. I don't know what happened to this joint but this will not be on my radar ever again. The young staff seemed untrained, perhaps due to a higher than average turn over rate here. The entire joint basically felt like they were doing you a favor by coming in and taking your money for this poorly prepared slop. Now, I know why there wasn't a line out the door waiting for a table. The AYCE competition around here is fierce. Most of them have upped their BBQ game and have taken some serious market share from the former king of yore. Live is too short for middling K-BBQ... But this fat fuck will still eat the shit outta it to get my money's worth. Thanks fat Murica, you did it to me again!

Flush.

3473 Old Norcross Rd
#304
Duluth, GA 30096
www.honeypigatl.com