Tasty China Smyrna

Years ago, the original Tasty China was a relatively unknown Chino joint until Peter Chang was plastered all over the interwebs about his Szechuan culinary prowess. That motherfucker was a good cook but he was also a magician, too. He would pop up at random Chino restos around the country and create a cult following status... And then he would mysteriously disappear without a word and reappear at some hole in the wall Chino dump in the middle of no where USA. The last place that chubby Chino was spotted was somewhere in fucking Virginia... I think he's still there, possibly against his will, it is Virginia after all. But enough of stroking his ego... Let's turn our attention to TC's newest location a little closer to town on Atlanta Road. Both the original and new location are still using his name as a PR gimmick even though he has been out of this one horse town for years. I gotta admit, I haven't been back to the original TC in a long time because I really didn't buy into the hype like the whities did... Like they discovered some new cuisine from outer space or something. And Jia in PCM didn't help to win me back, either... Jia is fucking god awful. How anyone can say it's good is beyond me... It's prolly the same dopes that says Gu's Dumplings in KSM is good. It didn't look that far on the GPS but once you get to this part of Atlanta Road it feels like you're in the same town as Jeepers Creepers in rural Florida... It is fucking dark and scary up in here. Maybe Peter Chang will magically show up in this tiny strip mall one day since he loves weird hillbilly locations so much...
Walked in and the space is pretty modern looking and they fucking serve booze up in this piece (ok, just beer and wine but I'm alright with that)... Is it me or does anyone find it strange that a Chino joint has craft beers on tap? Fuck yeah, who cares, I'm loving it already. Ok, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, pouch... Doesn't take much for me to get excited these days when you have a BMI over 32. Ordered a couple beers right away to lube my innards for the imminent ma la experience... While I perused the menu. It's pretty much the same with the classic hits. Enough talk, time to eat, motherfuckers and see if it's still the same old same old or perhaps they amped up their Szechuan game without PF Chang... 

Szechuan Black Vinegar Peanuts. This little appetizer is not rocket science by any means but the roasted peanuts swimming in seasoned sweetened black vinegar with diced jalapenos and green onions are pretty damn tasty.

Dry Fried Eggplants. Their most infamous dish in all the lands... And it's still pretty good but the portion was smaller and the ma la heat was lighter than I remembered. You can see the Szechuan peppercorns sprinkled around on there but there was barely any heat in them, maybe they were old peppercorns, who knows. But the eggplant was crispy and had a nice bite to them as expected.

Braised Fish in Red Chili Oil. You can't not order this if you come to this place... This cauldron of lava fish has been spot on every time I had it in the past. But today is the future and PF Chang ain't cooking here no mo... Let's see if it still lives up to my memory. And... It does, somewhat, but like the eggplant it needed to be a lot spicier. That's the whole deal with this dish, it must be spicy as fuck. The fish was tender and melted in your mouth like it should but you need that heat on the back end to make you sweat... And it wasn't there. Perhaps they may have dumbed it down for the roundeyes.

Mapo Tofu. This dish is the lemon test of a true Szechuan joint... And I was excited for this to come out from what I remembered from the days of yore. And then this came out... It was a bowl of red grease. They should call this Braised Tofu in Red Chili Oil. I make mapo tofu at home a good bit and it should never be this oily. I don't even see any minced pork in there, it's just tofu cubes, chili paste and castor oil. The only saving grace is that the rice soaks up all the grease and makes it look more appetizing to eat. It was acceptable but I would not get this again.

Xiao Long Bao. I was on the fence on this one but the roundeyes were all clamoring for it. I was vetoed. All I needed was one look at this specimen and it was game over for these soup dumps... The pouch's instincts were right again! You can't miss that thick ass dough even if you were blind. Even with the thick armor skin there was no soup in these dumps. Did they evaporate while being steamed? The answer was reveal when I picked one up and the skin had holes on the bottom... Why even bother with the spoons? Fuck me, these dumps were so dry, doughy and chewy with no flavor whatsoever... I've had better soup dumps from the local grocer's freezer. The truly sad part of this specimen was how long it took to get to the table... They basically came out last. And the last impression is usually how you define the quality of the place.

Szechuan Beef Flank Noodles. Yes, it looked oily as fuck but I was ok with this noodle dish being a bit greasy if the broth was flavorful. There's a decent amount of noodles on the bottom and a handful of tender flank as well. Get it mixed up pretty well and this spicy beef noodle soup wasn't half bad. I thought the heat level would be more intense after a few slurps but like the previous dishes, it had the appearance of ma la but the taste was ma ma... aka so so. The overall construction of the bowl was fine but the heat level was just not there.

Braised Flank with Dry Persimmon. Sounded good on the menu but it looked like it came from a can of Dinty Moore's beef stew. But looks can be deceiving and this exhibit looked like a toilet at Taco bell at 2AM but it ended up tasting pretty good. Mix it in with a bowl of rice and you got yourself a tasty comfy dish that you would like to eat in your pajamas and then pass out on the couch with the empty bowl resting on top of your fat belly... Not that it has happened to me or anything.

Szechuan Chicken. Sometimes the most boring sounding dish on the menu can surprise you... If the cheekan ain't fried, it can't be good, right? Fuck that noise, this bloody red cheekan bowl was prolly the spiciest dish of the night and I kept picking at it over and over again with my grubby chubby sausage fingaz. Yeah, it was pretty good.

It was pretty acceptable overall but nothing craveworthy enough to bring me back here on a regular basis... Just like the original location. I just don't know why people buy into the hype so much about this place. It's good enough for the masses that wants to pretend to be adventurous eaters but even dish after dish of supposedly spicy items, I was barely breaking a sweat. I prefer Good Luck Gourmet if you're looking for a higher ma la level in your food and they also have a better variety of dishes. Tasty China may be good enough for this area in upstate GA but I think I will just stick with the Szechuan and Shaanxi joints on Buford Hwy any day. If anyone mentions Jia, I will cut you with a cheekan wing bone from the parking lot at PCM.


1860 Atlanta Rd SE
Smyrna, GA 30080
www.tastychinasmyrna.com