The KFC trend has come and gone in this one horse town... But that doesn't mean it's gonna stop FOBs from opening more and more Corean fwied cheekan joints around town no matter how many there are already nor will the pouch stop eating fwied cheekan on a weekly basis. The more fried chicken joints the better, I say. Jesus, I just realized why I'm such a fat fuck. Deep fried foods are not healthy for you they keep saying on ER but I have never heard Doogie Howser say that in 97 episodes... Who would you rather listen to more? The worst Batman ever playing a doctor on TV or a 6 year old that had a perfect SAT score? Shit, that's a no brainer... I'm not a smart man but I know what love is... And I lurv me some fwied cheekan.
So, the always empty Lee's Tofu House closed down awhile ago and the space sat dark for a good bit until someone had the balls to exorcise this cursed space with two crossed fried chicken legs. But we all know that curses don't go away quietly even with 3 buckets of fried chicken as a sacrifice. But the pouch doesn't give a fuck about curses when it comes to KFC... I will fart in their general direction with a lethal dose of the pouch's most powerful gastric vapors after inhaling a whole chicken or two that even the afterlife will gag.
The name of this joint sounds eerily similar to Thank U Chicken but there is no connection between the two. Let's go take a first look and see if it's worth a second visit... If not there's always Quickly's kick ass nuggets or La Mei Zi's salt & pepper nuggets down the street.
Walked in and there are giant cubbies everywhere in a tic-tac-toe formation, what the fuck is this... An episode of Hollywood Squares or a coworking space? It's more like a fucking waste of space. Who designed this... Rubik's Cube? I think I just saw Jm J. Bullock in the center square. Even walking to the bathroom in the back corner was like a rat looking for a piece of cheese in a maze... I was getting annoyed until I saw this sign in the back. I totally need this in my tiny shithole apartment, it could decorate two walls. Ok, after draining the peeping baby turtle and admiring this work of art again on the way out, I found my zen and accepted this as a safe space. Time to destroy some CFC...
Half & Half, Soy Garlic and Sweet & Spicy sauce on the side, Fried Potatoes. It took forever for the chicken to come out but after seeing the size of this specimen, I felt a little blood flow going through my manhood. The little flags tell you that this is authentic Corean Fwied Cheekan... Jesus, I hope I don't have to stand up for their national anthem with my tent pants at full salute. Maybe the word authentic is a bit premature at this point, squirt... Until the pouch blesses it with it's muffin top. After a couple of minzies of letting it cool down a bit, the whole presentation started to look kinda gimmicky... I almost thought I ordered fish n' chips served with the waxy newspaper on a Thai wooden longtail boat. It also came with daikon and shredded bitter cabbage with a few squirts of mayo. Let's take a closer look at the cheekan...
Fried Chicken with sweet & spicy on the side. The batter and crust looked ultra thick and crispy while the chicken pieces looked kinda small... Ugh, that's a bad sign already. There were some tiny wings and legs and what looked to be half chopped up thighs. The golden color looked great but I had a feeling they were over fried on the second fry. Took a bite and it was like chewing into bark. The batter was so fucking thick like body armor, I should test it against a .357 magnum slug. Once, I broke on through to the other side, the meat was kinda dried out and measly. There was not much meat in any of these pieces, just all bones and batter to give it volume. They looked good on the outside but turned out to be a dud overall. Even drowning them in the sweet & spicy sauce didn't help much. The giant wedges of regular old Idaho taters were battered and deep fried as well which gives you the illusion that it was a meaty piece of chicken until you bit into it and then depression sinks in even further. Let's see if the soy garlic ones are any better.
Soy Garlic Chicken. They are basically the same wings with the soy garlic sauce drizzled on them haphazardly and the sauce was way too sweet and not a hint of garlic. These wings were a bit better because the sauce have softened the armor plating and you don't need teeth like Jaws from Moonraker to eat these fucking weak ass yardbirds. Overall, the pouch was not too impressed with their CFC... Maybe I should try something else on the menu... The wings looked good in the picture on the menu but so did the fried chicken. The only thing that seemed worth trying was the seafood pancake because the tacos and instant ramen were so goddamn gringo.
Seafood Pancake. $10 for this pancake that looked like it was worth the change between my cushions. First of all, the hot plate it was served on wasn't even hot, they cooked the pancake in another pan and transferred it over to a cold plate... The batter wasn't even crispy and a seafood pancake is all about being super crispy. I see nice golden brown spots randomly on there but it was spongy, soggy and barely warmed through. Why even waste so much time and effort on this if you're just gonna let it sit in the back for so long?
The only thing that made my night was seeing this amazing XMAS tree ornament... This looked better than their cheekan.
Overall, the KFC is not worth it at full price for $20... But I went on their XMAS special day for half price and that was even pushing it. The batter is just way to thick and hard while the actual chicken pieces were small and boney. Thank U Chicken was a lot better with meatier pieces and a better crust but you have to drive to upstate Georgia for it. Even though, this joint is in ITP, I have almost no interest in coming back here for the KFC unless they make drastic changes but it looks like the curse lives on in this space.
5295 Buford Hwy NE
Atlanta, GA 30340
http://hellochickenfood.com/
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