Kyma

This is another joint that I have not been back to in many many moons... This place hasn't changed a bit since Jimmy Carter's last year in office. I remember the days when this was a happening spot in Buckhead proper where all the ginzos would gather to watch the Jersey Shore in the Octopus Lounge. I couldn't tell if the golden brown stains on their white tank tops were self-tanner lotion or tapenade... I always wanted to use a piece of pita to find out but I was skeered to get their hair grease on me... Sometimes, you just don't want to wake a sleeping douchebag. Fast forward a decade and half later and this joint is still stuck in the same space time continuum... It's like a giant time capsule. The same decor, same menu, same crowd... It was like watching Celebrity Deathmatch for the first time again. The space is still totally fine, it's clean and it works... But I don't know if I would ever take people from outta town to eat here because the service has never been that great, there's a smug aura that the staff emanates here. Dudebros, you're a fucking server or bartender serving people... You can at least act like a normal human being. Shit, shouldn't I be the one talking down to the help, instead? But sadly, I don't operate like that since I'm a obeast second class citizen. I decided to drink and nosh at the Octopus Lounge aka bar instead of going full retard in the dining room since I wasn't that hungry... I just wanted to come in and see how they were doing these days and report back to my one reader. The dining room was pretty empty but the lounge side had more activity... Then a huge group came in for a birthday or some shit. Jesus, people still get all gussied up to come here? They looked pretty young and the attention seemed to be going to the chicks... What was this... A quinceañera? If they wheel in a fucking paleta cart filled with a plethora of pinatas I'm fucking outta here, el guapo... Unless they have guava flavor... 
Well, let's see if they still have the magic or not after all these years...

Crazy Donkey. There is a reason why they don't print the prices for these beers... Because no one would order them. But lucky for them, there's a sucka born everyday and today is y'all's lucky day... Give me the most expensive Greek beer you got, TYVM. It's a bad sign when every dude is drinking a Bud light at the bar. $12 for a fucking bottle of American IPA style beer... Jesus, did I lose a Bum Fight or something and got the word "Sucka" tattooed on my forehead? Don't answer that... But the answer is yes. There is nothing special about this beer except that you should get a punch in the back of your head for ordering this scam. I am a donkey, a fat pot-bellied donkey...

Traditional Table Spread, red peppers, feta. While the red pepper puree was good, it was nothing that you couldn't do at home... It's easier than you think. These spreads and dips are big money makers for them.. Cheap, easy to make and fuckers love them because it's non-threatening and tasty.

The Reason Why Atlanta Eats Octopus, circa 2001Grilled over an Oak-Wood Fire, Marinated Red Onions. This is one of their famed dishes... Not that nobody else was doing grilled octopus before they opened here but they had better PR to make like it was their creation. It's a good snack, plump tentacle nuggets of tender octopus and seasoned nicely.

Truffled Veal Sweetbread Nuggets “Professionally Cooked the Way They Should Be” Combined with Roasted Eggplant, Green Zucchini, Yellow Squash, Garlic Confit,Tomato, Sour Dough Bread Toast. You can definitely smell the truffle oil in there but the toast was hard as a garden paver and totally useless. Let's see how it tastes...

Up close and personal... Three little fried nuggets bathing in a confit of stuff. Don't even think about putting this on the toast because you will break your teeth and look like a meth head afterwards. Just use a left over pita from the spread or eat it solo. The sweatbread nuggets were pretty tasty, could be a little bit more crispier but it will do... And I would get it again even though the portion is tiny.

The Infamous Spicy Lamb Pie12 hour Braised Leg of Lamb, Thyme and Oregano, Lemon Greek Yogurt. They were out of the lamb cheeks so I had to fall back on this because I was craving some type of lamb dish. It's a nice presentation, I forgot how purdy this looked... But let's see how it tastes.

A view from the back side... The phyllo is flaky and crispy on the outside and the minced lamb inside is flavorful inside. The little arugula salad gave it a nice balance with it's bitterness. It's another tasty snack while boozing at the bar and watching the guidos fist pump after doing a lemon drop shot... Bros before hoes, yo.

There's nothing wrong with this joint, it's just a bit dated on the style and menu... I am just not a big fan of this place for the craveworthiness of it because nothing was craveworthy. The service/bartender was slow but attentive enough not to piss you off too badly... Unless you ask for the price of the Donkey beers after your ordered them. The few bites I had brought back some memories from the last time I dined here but not good enough to bring me back for another decade. This place has become more like a location for the starter foodie crowd or the hip spot for graduating high school kids. It still ain't cheap to eat here, though... I had a few snacks and drinks and it still cost more than for a family of 10 to feast at Lan Zhou Ramen or Nam Phuong. Look, Greek grub ain't that serious in this town... These overpriced Greek joints around town is known more for the spectacle and the party crowd, especially, for the bachelorette parties with dickwear and dickgear and tossing thousands of napkins around to distract you from the food. But those hookers ain't swallowing octopus tentacles down their throats... I wonder if penis gummies would taste good stuffed inside phyllo... Squirt... Poof.  


3085 Piedmont Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
https://buckheadrestaurants.com/restaurant/kyma/