Lucky Thai

Everyone knows that when you're in Thailand you can get lucky real easy but you also gotta do the tucky test on any suspect kathoey to make sure that cameltoe isn't just a wiener wrapped up in duct tape... But over here on state side, it's quite difficult to get lucky with a place with decent Thai grub. They may say they got authentic kathoey grub but most of the time it turns out to be baba booey in disguise... You know, a fugazi, a fake, a fraud, a forgery, a hoax, a sham, a charlatan. Like I have said many times before... There just ain't any spectacular Thai in this one horse town, I didn't say authentic because it would never sell in this town... It's just too much heat for the pale ones.
So, one day, I drove passed a Taco Bell and all of the sudden I had a hankering for their new gimmick of the month- the Double Chalupa which they state it's a "boatload of goodness or even a yacht of yumminess"... Yeah, it's more like a Viking funeral vessel for a giant flaming turd, but that's another review. So, I turned around and pulled into the Cafe Bombay strip mall which is always dead as fuck... I was going through the back way to Taco Bell but then I noticed a relatively new Thai joint that's a couple doors down from the gangsta Pure Lounge (don't worry, I will get to this place soon, it looks fancy!)... My double chalupa plans became null and void when there's another Thai grub to investigate for my one fan... I can't wait to see what awaits the pouch in this back alley Thai joint.
The first thing you see on their website is a self-proclamation that they are "Atlanta's Highly Recommended Asian Restaurant"... Shit, with words like that, who can resist a highly rec'd resto that serves only Asian cuisine? But my one reader may be asking themselves, what kinda Asian cuisine? Isn't it obvious? They serve only the bestest Oriental grub... Naturally.
Walked in and sat down... Look around and there is no hint of booze anywhere... My suspicions were confirmed when the 60 year dry aged ladyboy reaffirmed the fact that they don't have a booze license. I was fucking livid inside... I almost wanted to go next door to Pure to slammed down a few shots of Hpnotiq and Hennessy, otherwise known as the Incredible Hulk because I wanted to smash that joint up! But I didn't since I have recently became a born again Buddhist because I want peace and serenity now... And who can resist those flowing robes? They are so fucking indulgently soft, bro... I swear they're at least 800 count. It feels almost godly wearing those moo-moo's... Fuck total consciousness on my death bed, just give me the 800 count of Egyptian cotton now. I was still kinda pissed that they didn't even have a beer and wine license... But they had a menu, let's take a look and don't piss me off any further with some shitty dishes... And of course, they already started on the wrong foot with a bunch of slutty Chino grub... The first thing I see is Crab Rangoon... WTF, yo? Then came edamame and pot stickers, and wonton, egg drop, hot & sour soup... I'm getting green and I didn't even drink Hpnotic. The entire Entree part of the menu was all junky gwailo Chino dishes except for the Spicy Basil... Ok, it's totally a roundeye dish but at least it wasn't Chino. Skipped the entire Entree section... Then came curry, noodles, flied lice and house specials which were mostly Thai. It gets better as go you down further... That's what she said... But then came the Japanese section which was like more than half the menu (why is this place called Lucky Thai again?). The sushi/sashimi did not look that good at the tiny sushi bar to me but I was still curious as a pussy cat about the sushi anyways... Let's just get to the good stuff already, you talk too much pouch...

Rock & Roll bbq eel and avacado. I was gonna try the 3 fish sashimi sampler with the standard tuna and salmon but the last fish on the the list was escolar... It used to be hamachi but they changed it to the cheap disgusting escolar. Seeing it on the menu almost made me gag, didn't even have to see the actual product. So, I resorted to getting something safer but still not the gaijin stuff... This bbq eel and avocado roll was quite long, it had a lot of pieces on it (8 to be exact and 1 retarded one on the end). It was average at best and the shit fell apart too easily when you try to eat it. There was nothing really memorable about this but at least it was cheap.

Spider Roll soft shell crab, cucumber, avocado, and masago. Of course, if I see this on the menu I will get it... I'm such an old dog when it comes to the Spider Roll... But not just any old dog, a Pavlovian dog because I am properly conditioned... I also slobber, too, when I see this. This roll was also a hefty portion... 10 pieces for about $11 which was a steal. But how did it taste, pouch? Eh, it was ok, not much flavor to it, even with all that brown jizzy sauce all over it. The soft shell crab wasn't all that crunchy, it kinda steamed itself soft. The pieces also broke apart easily when you picked it up... I lost like 3 pieces trying to get it into my snout. I had to lick the plate like a mangy mutt which I gladly did. Those 5 dollops of spunk looked like those candy buttons you peeled off a piece of paper. Too bad they tasted like it came from a 80 year sack. I don't know, I don't want to crush their wildest dreams but the rolls sucked... So, my pouch instincts were right again and I'm glad I didn't order any of the raw stuff.

Pot Sticker (6 PCS) diced chicken, mix vegetable, and deep-fried served with ponzu sause. My bro, who's a roundeye was dead set on getting a wonton soup... I adamantly told him no like a child. I already knew that wonton soup will suck big time balls... But I had to compromise and let him get the pot stickers... How the fuck are these pot stickers? They were deep fried in a basket... They weren't even near a fucking pot let alone stick to them. Look, these were dismal... Tasted like they were made in a dumpling class for 5 year olds. The chicken was bland, the veggie filler was non-existent and the ponzu sause tasted like watered down fake soy sauce packets. I like the effort with the nice doily on the plate but putting a freshly laid turd on a Hermes silk scarf doesn't make it taste any better. These fried stickers were pretty much as low rent as you can get. Skip them at all cost. Let's try the dishes we came here for...

Green Curry with chicken, bell pepper, bamboo shoot, broccoli, carrot, zucchini, and basil (Spicy). Server says how hot do you want it... I'm like I want it Thai Hot only if you can do it right without adding sambal in there and turning it into a pink goo. She's like ah, then you might want to just make it hot then. I know, sweet tits, I know how Thai joints in this town operate... There is no such thing as Thai Hot in this town, ever. It's a pretty standard green curry. I was really hoping to find some Thai eggplant in there but they used zucchini, instead. The chicken slices were a bit dried out but the not spicy curry helped moisturize them a bit. It's a colorful dish but so are the fancy food pics in magazines... Doesn't mean they will taste good in reality. I have no desire to revisit this curry again.

Drunken Noodle with beef, bell pepper, onion, and basil (Spicy). If I can't get fucking drunk here then I can at least eat drunk noodles... I asked for hot again because Thai Hot is just not an option here. I don't want my drunken noodles to look like a smashed red velvet cake. It was an acceptable version, it was tasty enough for me to keep eating it. The noodles needed a little more dark soy sauce to give it a bit more flavor. I saw no Thai chiles on this dish, just some specks of red chili flakes. The beef slices were fine, seasoned ok and tender. Overall, this noodle dish was decent enough to get again if you needed a quick fix. But it ain't no destination for drunken noodles... Unless, you're pissed drunk then you wouldn't even know the difference this and a bowl of Maruchan's finest.

Pad Thai with chicken, stir fried rice noodle, eggs, green onion, bean sprout, lime, and crushed peanut. I liked that they put the crushed peanuts on the side for you to sprinkle on but if I had known how dried out the chicken was then I would have gotten another protein, shit, I may have even opted for the tofu as a last resort. It looked and tasted pretty decent on the first bite after mixing it all up with the lime juice and peanuts but it woulda been a lot better if they applied a bit more tamarind paste and fish sauce... It needed to be more funky. I know most roundeyes can't stand fish sauce because it smells like the hooker they banged in Atlantic City back in the early 90's... But in a pad thai, the more funkier, fishier and pungent-er it is the better. It could be a very decent pad thai if it had the deeper flavor. Not bad overall, though.  

There's really no Thai joints around this general vicinity (Toco Hill will be the closes) so if you're desperate and need a quick fix for slutty Chinese, skanky sooshee and sleazy Thai, I guess it will do. The lack of a booze license will make it more difficult for me to come back again but shit, there's always Pure Lounge next door to do some pre-gaming and post-gaming. That Hpnotic can put anyone in a trance and make anything taste good... Except for Pure's food. No amount of party liquors or hypnotist can make their menu taste good.

1594 Woodcliff Dr NE Suite F
Atlanta, GA 30329
https://www.luckythaiatlanta.com/