The old dumpy Suburban Plaza shopping center has been totally transformed into a place that real human beings would actually go to... The newish Walmart has become the anchor in the renovated strip mall, along with a giant LA Fitness, The Comet bowling alley, Home Goods, Ross, a book store, Starbucks (of course) and now a real live restaurant... The second location of a New Orleans cajun/creole joint... And get this, it's owned by an Indian dude. Indian people like Koreans will open up any type of restaurant no matter the cuisine or ethnicity, they just don't give a shit... All you need is a buck and a dream. Speaking of dreaming, seriously, a cajun/creole joint in Decatur... Will this shit work? Do the hicks around here even know what kinda food this is? I love people watching inside restos... Especially, when they're fat and dress like shit. Ok,so we have an Indian guy running a cajun/creole joint in an area that is saturated with great Indian grub... Why the fuck not? He ain't gonna compete with the plethora of Indian cuisine here.
It's not a bad looking space and they were packed... The crowd was mixed, some rednecks, some families, some inbreeds, some old people and I even saw an emo girl with a shaved head, giant nose/ear piercings and awful tattoos wearing Pinhead's outfit... I thought it was Sinead at first but then realize she is a fat pig nowadays... This youngster obviously had her feelings hurt recently, perhaps even on a daily basis and she came here to be in a safe space... And for some New Orleans food. I don't know, cajun/creole food ain't exactly that popular in this town... And the places that do do it are pretty shitty at best. So, I went to the bar while I waited for my table... What a shit show that was. Asked for a Second Self Thai Wheat, skank looks at me and walks away... Yes, service with a smirk at it's finest, hooker. Asked her again and she sighs like it was her job to pour a beer or something... Would you like to be still sucking cock for $5 a head in the back of a Chevette, instead? When my table was ready, I went up to her to close out or transfer it, she was finishing a cocktail and running a lemon peel around the rim which was nice to see she was doing it somewhat right... Then she tried to toss the peel into the glass and it bounces off, she picks up the peel off the dirty drain mat and tries again, it totally missed the glass and now it's on the wet counter, she does it again and threw it on the drain mat again... She gets really pissed off and picks up the filthy lemon peel and dips the whole thing into the drink with her fingers in there... And off it went to the customer. Remind me not to get a cocktail here... As if I would in the first place. So, I transfer the beer to my table... Which was fucking wobbling all over the place. The Indian owner dude comes over with a credit card bill fold and sticks it under the table, still wobbling all over, he did this for 5 minutes. I'm like, dude, just give me another table. He keeps fucking with it and then realizes that there are adjustable screw foots on the bottom and then he finally got it. Jesus, I'm fucking exhausted already... Fuck it, let's just order some food and get on with it... The quicker we eat, the quicker I can get the fuck outta here... And then cry myself to sleep.
Lump Crab Cake, mustard cream. $12 for a single cake, that's fucking ballsy, yo. It better be full of lumps and no fillers. Server tells me that it's all lump and broiled in a mold/ring. Ok, doesn't sound too bad... Came out with saute marks on top. This thing was kinda small, compare it to the tiny lemon peel next to it. Jesus, I got fucked again... It's sitting on a fried green tomato to visually trick you that it's bigger than it is... Kinda like how dudes put socks down their pants, not that I do it... All the time, just once for research. It was just an ok crab cake, nothing that craveworthy... It needed more seasoning and it was barely warmed through. The crabmeat tasted worn out/old, no bounce to it. I would not get these again. Spend the money on something else.
Sampler Platter, coconut shrimp, cajun popcorn & fried okra. I fucking hate to say this but this plate of fried shit was pretty good. Those goddamn coconut shrimp gets me every time... There's something ultra redneck low rent about them that makes them so good. The fried okra seemed freshly battered and fried, the crust was nice and crispy and delicate, too, very nice. The cajun popcorn was crawfish tails, also nicely done. It also came with a bunch of thick sauces there were just ok but it's something to dip your fried shit in... People like dippin their shit into things. They love to cover up the food they're eating. How about this, just stick your finga into the sauce and suck on it... Same difference.
Seafood & Andouille Sausage Gumbo. This is an all roux gumbo, no file. They might have used a bit too much brown roux, it was pretty thick, almost like molasses... But the chunky pieces of crabmeat on top was a nice surprise. I was on the fence with the density of it in the beginning but after awhile it either grew on me or got thinner... There was a good bit of sausage and shrimp in there, too. It was seasoned pretty decent, no major complaints on that. Overall, not great but totally acceptable.
Oyster Po'Boy. The first thing I asked was about the bread, server had no clue... Said, it may be a roll or baguette but I think it's local, I'll go find out. She comes out with a picture on her phone that said, "Heritage Ovens Artisan Bread" and on the bottom of the picture in the corner, I can see- 'mond, VA'. So, that ain't so local after all... I already had a feeling but I ordered it anyways, how bad can it be? ...Famous last words. The oyster nuggets themselves were nicely battered and fried but under seasoned. The potatoes were soggy and had a weird aftertaste to it. So, what about the bread... Oh, that's the fun part... It was greasy as fuck and hard. Come again? You heard me... The bread/roll/baguette thinger was awful. You try to bite into it and it's just cutting into your gums and sawing it with your teeth ain't gonna help, shit was like made out of kevlar or something. I just don't get it, why order shitty bread from a food vendor (Performance Foodservice) from Virginia when there's so many good local bread makers... Shit, even a day old Lee's Bakery roll woulda killed it.
Cajun Jambalaya, chicken, andouille and shrimp with Bayou seasonings and white rice. This may not look like a big portion from the pic but it is fucking huge... This plate can feed 3 easily since this jamba was pretty thick and heavy. It was actually pretty good, they said it was spicy... Spicy my ass. I asked them if they had ghost peppers in there... Or perhaps Carolina reaper, scorpion pepper? No no and no... Then it ain't spicy then mofo. There were a lot of shrimp, sausage and chicken chunks... I was kinda impressed they didn't chintz on the proteins. The rice was cooked spot on, too. This was a pretty decent jambalaya... For the price to portion ration alone, I would get this again. They will give you a special hot sauce if you want it spicy... Tried it, it was just ok, too liquidity... Jesus, that's what's gonna be in my toilet later on.
I have no problem with them opening up a NOLA restos in this renovated strip mall, this mall has zero restos and maybe this will help jump start the area with more local restos, no fucking chains please... One fucking Starbucks is more than enough for a lifetime. As for the food here, some hits and some misses but it's totally acceptable and I would stop by again when they get their routine and consistency down... But I'm still weary about the bartenders abilities behind the stick... Oh, wait, they don't even know what the fuck a muddler is. Stick with the beers... For now.
1495 Church St
Decatur, GA 30030
http://www.louisianabistreaux.com
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