Brockett Pub House & Grill

So, one of my little birds told me about this place a long long time ago... I Googled that shit and I was like where the fuck is Clarkston... Is that where that fat girl that does the car commercial from American Idol is from? I checked it again on the map and I was like this shit is way out in boonie central. I ain't going out there, I will get lynched by Barney Fife. But the pouch has no fear when it comes to recommended pub grub... If it's good I will risk life, limb and pouch for it. This part of town is fucking scary, it's like the Children of the Cornholio up in this piece. The pub is weirdly located basically in the center of a 4 or 5 way intersection and they even have their own package store attached to the pub on the other side... It's like bars in Florida, you can buy the booze but you can't drink it on the premises. It seems like this shack is quite popular with the townies around here... Let's go inside carefully and don't make any sudden moves... You never know who's packing heat up in this piece... Hopefully, I'll be packing the pouch with some tasty morsels...
Walked in... And it sure was a townie bar. Dingy, grimy and kinda dark for that Parisian ambience... But it was packed with mostly white people and even some families... What is going on in here? Sat at the bar and ordered a pint of Guinness for $5.50, that must the cheapest pint of Guinness in all over ATL. I'm kinda liking this shithole already. The menu was pretty much the greatest hits of the standard pub fare but with a couple of trendy ingredients tossed in there to be hip. I basically just ordered the classics... Just a couple of small samplers...

Look at this spread... How much fucking food can the pouch jam on top of the bar... Let's go find out.

Wings. Always get them naked because the hot sauce could be total garbage like at most places and then you're shit outta luck. These were as advertised... Jumbo sized. They were pretty decent, crispy outside, meaty and juicy inside. The hot sauce was nothing to write home about but the wings themselves were good enough to distract you away from that crappy hot sauce. The fries were pretty decent coming from a brown bag.

Fried Pickles. This was a giant portion of fried pickle chips... Nice crispy crust/batter and a healthy briny flavor inside. The home made ranch was pretty good. This was a very decent pub grub snackery.

Crispy Brussel Sprouts, apple, rosemary salt, apple cider reduction. Bless their country folk heart for missing the "s" on Brussels but they sure do know how to make a mean plate of B.S. It was also a very healthy portion and now, I am full of B.S... Like y'all didn't know that already.

Burger. Pretty much a very standard pub burger but the patty was quite large and they even got it to the requested temp, mid-rare. It's a tasty burger, seasoned well... It won't win any awards but it will definitely do the trick for a fat fuck like me.

Philly Cheese Steak. It ain't no Amoroso roll but for a dumpy pub with a tiny kitchen, this Philthy was not bad at all. A good amount of thinly slice meat (who knows if it's truly ribeye or not) which was tender and flavorful. The grilled onions gave it a bit of sweetness but the single slice of melted Swiss cheese didn't have the coverage power it needed to hold the meat together... For $10, another slice or two of Swiss won't kill them but I would have gone with a provolone or American white instead.

BPH Salad. With all that slop that I just ate, this salad ain't gonna do jack shit to counteract all that grease I just inhaled.. But in some fucked up alternate bizzaro universe, it will pretend to make me feel good eating something healthy... Kinda like a fat chick eating a 10 piece bucket of fwied cheekan and washing it down with a bucket of diet coke at the ghetto ass KFC next door.

If you're ever around this area (either, consciously or by mistake)... This dumpy little pub in the middle of bumfucknowhere may surprise you... It ain't the best food you ever had but when you're craving greasy junk food and some suds, it will do the deed. The bartenders were great, attentive and quick with the drinks and they don't stop for nobody, always doing something (cleaning, running food, etc) and not sitting around like so many other shitty bartenders at places of this caliber. As for the grub... Looking back at all the vittles I just ate, Jesus, this can't be healthy... Not even for a goat. I am so friggin bloated right now... I can feel my bowels in motion. I'm gonna explode pretty soon... I need TP for my bunghole!

4522 E Ponce de Leon Ave
Clarkston, GA 30021
http://brockettpub.com/