Popeyes New Chicken Sandwich

The Pouch is not even gonna mess around with some stupid background story on this one... My one reader already knows how much I fucking adore Popeyes and all things Popeyes. So, Popeyes released their so called "New Chicken Sandwich" to compete with the ultra popular original Chick-fil-A fried chicken sandwich... This is not Popeyes' first chicken sandwich, but this one seems to be thumbing their beaks at the Eat Mor Chikin behemoth. Other fast food dumps like KFC, Mickey D's and Wendy's have tried and failed to make a dent to steal market share away from the churchy poultry zealots.
I am not a big fan of Chick-fil-A, not because of their religious views (I can give two shits what they believe in and I'm dumb enough to think for myself), but because they're more hype, gimmick and style than substance. I see these pedestrian zombies lining up at the drive thru on my morning commute and these crackhead motherfuckers cut off other drivers just to get their morning fix. It's like these mooks can't get through the day without their precious chicken biscuit... But I admit their waffle fries and Polynesian sauce are pretty damn tasty, though.. And the staff is bizarrely nice all the time... Cuckoo cuckoo. They also got some smoking hot chicks working there, too... Almost made me want to fill out an application one time when I was still drunk from the night before.
Enough, of the talky talky... Let's get to the walky walky... I'm just going to do a play by play, frame by frame of their new cheekan sando...

So, this is what it's supposed to look like... Looks pretty fucking epic to me. Thank goodness I got two of them... And a little dessert, wink wink.

Picked up the classic with mayo spread and the spicy with Cajun spread, both $3.99 each. It's supposedly buttermilk-battered, hand-breaded white meat with pickles on a toasted brioche bun. I did see the worker split the buns and put it through the toaster. The bags were pretty hefty and large... At least doubled the size of a Chick-fil-A sando.

Shitty wrapping technique... I have seen others wrapped in the style of a ready to eat In-N-Out burger, so, half the sandwich is showing and you hold the wrapper to eat it. This just looked low rent. I have seen more sexy looking crumpled up toilet paper than these specimens.

Ta-Da! Voila! Here they are motherfuckers! In all it's glory... Then I hear the sound of air leaking out of a tire. The top buns were all mushed. Eh, who cares, it all goes to the same place anyways... The chicken itself is what counts.

Peeking under the hood (classic on left, spicy on right, duh!)... Looks like we have an amateur pump, pump, squirter at the sando station. Mise en place, motherclucker, mise en place! Put the hood down and let's take it for a ride, Pouch...

Let's take a look at a side shot... Those are some hunky pieces of white meat cheekan.

Well, Pouch... Give us the scoop already. Was it all that was promised and more? Did it make all of your wildest dreams come true? Did this cheekan sando beat the fuck outta Chick-fil-A? Yes and no. Yes, it was better than Chick-fil-A. No, it was not as crave-worthy as I hoped for. The crispy crunchy crust was amazing as expected but the chicken meat was just too thick and tough to be seasoned through thoroughly. Speaking of which, I forgot to ask for a few packets of Cajun Sparkle... Dammit, that shit is like crack, it's Cajun Crackle. It's a tasty fwied cheekan sando (needs more pickles) but it pales in comparison to their outstanding spicy fried chicken. Even the spicy Cajun version was not spicy enough for me, I had to pump a few squirts of hot sauce on each bite just to get a little blood flow going in my nether regions. IF they made it with a boneless thigh meat in the new sandwich that woulda been fucking incredible... But we all know the millennials and whities don't dig on dark meat.

Overall, it's a good showing but I ain't hankering for another one anytime soon... But I'm always in the mood for their spectacular spicy fwied cheekan.

Let's recap...

...With a glamour shot of the two beasts up front and dessert in the back. The box of dessert was amazing...

Thanks fat 'murica, you fucking did it to me, again!

Squirt.