The Pouch has been known to risk life, limb and FUPA (fat upper pannus area) in search for the best fwied cheekan known to pouchkind... Sometimes, they are located in shady areas, shit, who am I kidding? Most of them usually are... The bigger the shithole, the better the cheekan. I'm already lickin' my lipz just thinking about eating that cheekan with one leg behind each ear... You really are a sicko, Pouch.
So, this stout porcine was on Mountain Industrial Blvd in Tucker... Don't ask the paunchy slob why it was roaming around this area. I'm invoking the official U.S. policy of DADT (don't ask, don't tell). Ok, I was actually checking out the Tucker Brewing Co. which is pretty cool... But the rotation of food trucks are disappointing sometimes. Eh, let's face it, most food trucks are a letdown these days... And this fat fuck was starving like a Gap Girl and needed something crispy and greasy to fill the endless abyss that is the Pouch. I was looking for some tacos because I heard there's decent tacos to be had around here... Hopped on my Rascal and burned outta the parking lot like a fatburg outta a sewer. It's ok, I have run flats on this beast. So, I'm cruising along and I see this Mama's Chicken... Instant blood flow. I turned around and headed inside with a full blown hard-on... Well, it was more like a tent pants on a 4 year old in Underoos. This is gonna be a fucking epic adventure... I can feel it in my gouty toes.
It appears to be an old Krystals... But I'm fucking loving the colors and the look of this stand alone cheekan outpost. I can't wait to weeble wobble this lard ass inside... Man, those signs on the windows look just like Popeyes... Could it be an ex-cook that worked with the legend himself? Kinda like all the Peter Chang ex-cooks opening up their own shops around town and kicking ass.
Giant menu on the outside. It's fried cheekan all day, all the time... I'm in cheekan lipz heaven. If there was seafood on the menu I didn't see any because my eyes were crying greasy tears of joy.
What. Da. Fuck. is going on in here... Did I walk into a gas station with a Krispy Krunchy Chicken in the corner? Who designed this... The Colonel with a bipolar disorder? It's the weirdest fucking thing at first but it makes sense after you take it all in... It's literally a chicken and beer shack. There's a whole wall of beverages to choose from... Careful man, there's a beverage here. The menu looks yuge but it's really just different combinations of chicken and a handful of frozen fried seafood which you should prolly avoid. I took a peek at the staff cooking back there and I was getting excited again... Could this be a Flip chicken joint like Jollibee? Oh, fucking please be it... Because this will be amazing. Flip grub had short stints in this one horse town, none of them have ever lasted... There's a million KFC (Korean Fried Chicken) joints around town but there has never been a FFC (Flip Fried Chicken) joint. It has never been tried before in this town... Could this joint be the first to bring Flip style cheekan to da ATL? I was so nervous from the excitement that I just stood there at the counter drooling like Simple Jack... I had a serious case of mushmouth and mumbled out my order. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my fat facegash? Then I looked at the kid's name tag and he was Vietnamese... Fuck me, they were all Vietnamese, not a Dela Cruz, Garcia, Fernandez, Gonzales, Sanchez or any lechon and lumpia in sight. But this might not be a bad thing... We all know how amazing the fish sauce glazed wings are at Nam Phuong... But is there such a thing as Vietnamese fwied cheekan? Is there even a CFC... A Charlie Fried Chicken? I guess I'm about to find out, you goofy motherfuckers!
Half & Half, Livers and Gizzards and a roll, $4.49. Jesus. Henry. Christ. Look at this goddamn portion... It's yuge! The golden brown crust looked amazing... The batter was not too heavy nor too light, it was just right. Big ass pieces of liver and gizzards overloaded the box, it even started to melt some of the styrofoam where it made contact. It was all fried to order. Took a bite of the liver and the crust crackled and crunched perfectly, the liver was moist with that unmistakable mineraly taste. It was all good except that it was under-seasoned... C'mon, Nguyen, how can you forget to season these tasty little fuckers? Luckily, I had a lot of hot sauce. The gizzards were big and the crust was just as good as the livers but the gizzards seemed to be not prepared correctly ahead of time... Like letting them soak in seasoned buttermilk overnight or simmered for a couple hours in a herb seasoned broth to tenderize them. The gizzards had a wonderful crunch on the outside but the crunch on the inside was too tough and bland. The whole packaged looked amazing but I would stick with the livers for now until they figure out how to prepare the gizzards properly. But for about $4, you just can't beat this fucking ginormous portion.
10 Piece Mixed, 5 Rolls, $10.99. Hey, girl... I got somethin' real important to give you... A gift real special, so take off the top... Take a look inside, it's fwied chick in a box! Was it a holiday I didn't know about... Christmas? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Shit, everyday is a holiday when it comes to fwied cheekan... And I'm gonna get fucked up because that golden fwied cheekan was flowing outta that box like cheap wine. How they stuffed 10 pieces and 5 dinner rolls in that cardboard box, I have no clue... But those Vietnamese are crafty little fuckers. Look at that crust, just like the livers and gizzards... Just the perfect medium thickness and crunch... But once again, the chicken like the livers were under-seasoned. For a mixed box, you would think they would give you more dark meat than white but somehow they put in more breast than thighs which kinda bummed me out. The dark meat like the legs and a couple thighs were moist and tender but the white breast meat was kinda dried out. I loaded so much hot sauce on there just to get it down my throat. Was the fwied cheekan all that the Pouch had hoped for? Fuck no, bro. But it didn't stop me from eating the entire box in one sitting... Fuck me, this fat fuck did it again! It's an average deal for a 10 piece mixed box, you can get a better deal at Publix with their outstanding supermarket fried chicken. And the question that my one fan prolly wants to know the most... How does it compare to Popeyes? Y'all know the answer to that already but I'll say it anyways... Not even fucking close. Maybe if they glazed it with fish sauce... Hmmm, don't steal my idea, mofos!
I like their unspoken concept of chicken and beer but Mama needs to focus on their main item and that is the almighty chicken. The problem is their menu is just too fucking big, they need to get rid of some of the dead weight on there and consolidate it to be less overwhelming. They are wasting their time, energy and money on the non-sellers. Just focus on making a great fried chicken... If you fry it, they will come. But I must say that I'm not opposed to going back to see how they're doing... It is fried chicken afterall. What's that old saying, "Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good." Well, the Pouch says fuck that noise! I rather have no pizza than bad pizza... I can't comment on the sex part since I'm an innocent, fragile, young and naive school girl. But it can be said that a bad fried chicken is still pretty good... And I really want them to make a kick ass FC. But if it hasn't improved drastically on the little things in the near future, then those assclowns on Yelp may have a point with the plethora of negative reviews, all 3 of them.
Don't fucking die on me, CFC! Get your chicken shit together because I need to eat mor chikin... And I ain't talkin' about that low rent Chickfila shit because boneless fried chicken is udderly disgusting.
2922 Mountain Industrial Blvd
Tucker, GA 30084
http://mamaschicken.net/index.html
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