Sunday, July 7, 2019

Hai Authentic Chinese Lunch Visit

This is a first for the Pouch... Posting a follow up not long after the initial visit. I was and still am excited about having this "authentic" Chino resto so close to my dump in Dickhater, err, Decatur. I am still running on the high from the first visit but I needed another hit to continue that high... So, I made a quick lunch visit during a week day. The lunch special menu is pretty much generic roundeye slop like General chicken, broccoli chicken, Mongolian beef and Kung Pao... But at the very bottom, there is a Hot & Numbing Flounder. I knew I had to try this for shits and giggles but then I started thinking... Yes, this pea brain does work sometimes... This dish may be the braised fish in hot chili oil. I remember looking for it on the menu on my first visit and just bypassed it, maybe I got verklempt with all the Panda Express dishes. 
Went in on a Wednesday afternoon and it was pretty quiet. Only a couple of tables were having lunch. Good, that means my lunch will be made fresh and properly. I was jonesing for some mala fish in chili oil... C'mon, let's get to it already, Pouch! Your fat ass can't wait that long...

Sliced Pork Knuckle, braised in brown sauce and sliced after chilled with chili sauce and garlic oyster sauce. I like that they have the balls to serve something like this in this area... And I love seeing the roundeyes' face of disgust and going into conniptions... The expressions on their fat face are priceless. I can't wait til they put moose knuckle on the menu in the future. Camel toe will be just too much for this demographics to handle... Especially, with their demon spawns around.

Hot & Numbing Flounder Lunch Special. On my first visit, I was too excited to even notice that this dish was the braised fish in hot chili oil. I just totally bypass the name on the menu. But I saw this on the lunch menu and this dish brought me back. When it came out, I got really excited... It was a hefty portion for a lunch special. Hey, I ain't complaining, no fucking way I was gonna question them about it. The color was vibrant with a deep red hue. They packed a good amount of tender flaky flounder in that cauldron. But the heat or mala was lacking, not that it wasn't good, it was just not spicy at all. But that was more my fault for forgetting to ask them to make it super spicy. This was a great dish during lunch for $10. The dinner menu is $16, hopefully it's a bigger portion but pictures from other people didn't seem much larger.

A soup came with the lunch special and this hot & sour soup was generic at best. They even served it with fried wonton strips... Fucking nailed it. Yeah, nailed it into the coffin of slutty Chino slop. I still ate it, though.. Because I'm a fat fuck, but without the stale ass strips.

Dragon Eggplant in Spicy Garlic Sauce, a reimagining of a classic dish. Oh, it's a "reimagining" of something but that wasn't the first thing I thought of when this came out... I was like, shit, am I going to eat a human centipede or was this a John Holmes bodies exhibit? Who fucking came up with this dish, Lorena Bobbitt? But I'll tell y'all what... This shit was tasty. I have never given a BJ before but if it tasted like this, I may go gay a couple times a month for this tasty morsel. The presentation is skillfully executed. The spiral sliced eggplant is arranged in an artistic fashion and the spicy garlic sauce is coated evenly in every nook and cranny. It's just a good dish, even without meat, plain and simple.

I'm still pretty impressed with this joint. It's the best real Chino grub around in this area... And I'm OK with their menu being half Panda Express shit for the crackers and the other half with very acceptable Szechuan grub for the slopes. There is enough "authentic" dishes here that will satisfy my Chino cravings without having to drive to Buford Hwy... But remember to tell them you want the real mala on the Szechuan dishes or else they will dumb down the heat to gwailo levels.

I'm giving them a pump and a half a squirt... It's good enough to pass the smell test.

2641 North Decatur Rd.
Decatur, GA 30033
www.haieat.com

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