Bell Street Burritos

All the old school dotards will remember Tortillas on Ponce many many moons ago... It was the original no frills hipster California aka Mission-style burrito joint... And it was a local favorite until they closed in 2003 after like 20 something years of feeding the punks of Ponce along with a baby Pouch.  Then the millennials came and the proliferation of corporate burrito chains just squeezed them out and it's a fucking travesty, man! This is why we can't have nice things... Everyone bemoans about the extinction of the mom and pop shops but they do nothing to support them, they're all talk on social media and no action... Ok, going once or twice while professing your love doesn't help keep them in business. The Tortillas space then became home to a J. Christopher's (whatever the fuck that is) for a few years until they relocated... Now, it's some fraudie gym for the Ms. Piggies to do kickboxing, the sport of the future... Or until they get bored and find a new trendy fad to get likes on FB and IG.
So, fast forward to 2010... And Bell Street Burritos (aka West End Burritos) was born. Like a burrito phoenix rising from the ashes of Tortillas. A lot of people missed Tortillas over the years since their demise and BSB was now here to fill that void. The Pouch was excited by the news as well and had to try it... And it wasn't good, AT ALL. It was totally bland and soggy as a freshly laid diaper. It was nowhere even close to the original Tortillas... Who the fuck are these people sucking their dicks? How can anyone even with the palate of a billy goat can say this was just like Tortillas... It's fucking baffling. Some people are so desperate to replace a long lost memory that they will accept anything that barely resembles it. Oh yeah? Well, not this fat fuck. I have avoided this place like the plague until now... It's been a good 9 years or so since my last visit, they must have gotten better at their cooking skills... Because girls only like guys with skills... And lardasses like the Pouch only like restos with cooking skills.
They closed their original location in the Sweet Auburn Curb Market to open their newest location in Tucker inside an old Mexican't dump. They did a good job on the renovation and built a large front deck which was a good move... But it overlooks the dumpy Lawrenceville Hwy. The parking is not very user friendly and the lot doesn't hold a lot of cars. It's ok if it was on the Belt Line but this was on L'ville Hwy and people ain't gonna be riding bikes or those POS scooters to this joint.
Once inside, it's all counter service... You place your order, take a number and find a table. There is no salsa bar but there are a few squeeze bottles of salsa... That is if you can find one because inconsiderate people take the entire bottle to their table and hog it all like it was theirs. The problem is they don't have any plastic sauce cups to share the salsa at the service counter... But after tasting the salsas, it's not even worth searching them out on people's tables. But enough of the trivial things, let's get to the good stuff... I am very curious if they have figured out how to make a flavorful non-soggy burrito after all these years.

There are 3 burrito sizes- kids, regular and X-large. I went with the regular since the XL is just a total waste of money if it sucked ass... Come to think of it, I shoulda gotten the kids size, instead. The regular burrito was hefty in weight but short and stout in stature... Hey, some chicks dig girthy burros. The more I look at it the more it looks like a soda can wrapped in foil. Hmmm... Let's open this fucker up shall we? Cut me, Mick!

Pork Burrito, pinto beans, melted jack cheese, rice and salsa fresca, $7.25. You can add onions, jalapeno (pickled or fresh) and cilantro for free... Wow, how generous (rolls eyeballs). It didn't look too bad at first glance, until I took a bite (it was barely warmed through). Jesus fuck, it's the same old bland ass wet diaper again... I can feel the IBS-D already. I even put both the red and green salsa on there for flavor and nada... Nothing, both salsas were totally unseasoned, ketchup has more kick. Hell, every single ingredient in there was unseasoned... Even the pork which naturally has a good flavor was devoid of all porky fatness. I thought they fucked up and gave me shredded chicken instead. The tortilla was soaked through within seconds and turned into a gummy mess. The only thing holding the entire thing together was the foil and of course, the more you peel down the foil, the more soggy it got towards the bottom. This is the worse burrito I have ever had, no contest... Who are these people that think this burrito is just like Tortillas? It's baffling and a total mindfuck. I looked around to see if people were really enjoying it and they seemed to be... But y'all didn't see the slobs eating here. These are probably the same people who think Gu's Dumplings is authentic Chinese.

Green Tacos with onion, cilantro and green salsa- ground beef with flour tortilla, chicken with corn tortilla and side of chipotle salsa. Anything else has got to be better than that sad sack of shit I just shoveled into my facehole... I'm still waiting for the surprise donkey punch. These two tacos don't look half bad... Famous last words. Is that shredded chicken or pork? I can't tell, they both look the same... I have a feeling the chicken will taste just like the pork, bland. The double ply corn tortillas were acceptable, just not grilled, I don't think it was even heated through. At least they got the classic toppings right. We all know the salsas are totally useless but how about the chipotle salsa... Compared to the community salsas the chipotle salsa actually had flavor. They did it! They made something with flavor... But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. The chipotle salsa is like a standard red salsa available at any taqueria. The chicken taco even with the chipotle salsa was average at best. The chicken is pretty tasteless as well. It's amazing how the onion had more kick than the chicken.
The ground beef taco which is usually the most pedestrian of all tacos kinda like a Taco Bell regular taco... Surprisingly, had the most flavor of everything sampled here. It had the ubiquitous orange grease from the spices dripping out of the mystery meat and the sturdy double ply flour tortillas held together perfectly till the last bite. It's amazing that the most boring taco was the best thing I tasted. I am truly in Bizarro World.

Now, I know I didn't miss anything after all these years since my first visit. The second visit was almost exactly the same as the first 9 years ago. There probably won't be a third visit even though they emailed me some discount coupon for my next visit... But if I get liquored up with enough brown juice, I may sneak in to try the much hyped pork and green chiles burrito just for shits and giggles... Which may turn out to be just for the shits. But I doubt that some green chiles will make much of a difference with their flavorless pork.

4053 Lawrenceville Hwy
Tucker, GA 30084
https://www.bellstreetburritos.com/