BK Nightmare King

Oh, joy... This fat fuck is on a roll here with the fast food slop. Yes, I succumbed to yet another gimmick to challenge the Pouch. Lucky me... Or is that Fucky me? So, what do we have here this time? Burger King has been in the fast food gimmick burger game for awhile as well to lure in the freaks and uninitiated... They started with the Halloween Whopper with the black buns that turns your shit green. Then they had the Angriest Whopper with hot sauce baked into the red buns which turned your shit reddish brown. Now, they are giving the corpulent crowd a new flavor... The Nightmare King with a booger green bun. I can only imagine what color Mr. Hanky will be when he shows up on Halloween night. They say it's suppose to give you bad dreams or nightmares after you eat this demon. I call bullshit because I have nightmares every night no matter what I eat... Except Popeyes. So, what's the big deal about this burger? Well, first off, this ain't no Whopper... It has a chicken fillet on top of a burger patty. Let's see what they have to say about it...

"Introducing the NIGHTMARE KING, this spooky sandwich features ¼ lb* of savory flame – grilled beef, a 100% white meat crispy chicken fillet, melted American cheese, thick cut bacon, creamy mayonnaise, and onions all assembled on a glazed green sesame seed bun."

NIGHTMARE KING - Feed your dreams or nightmares.

Jesus, look at that fucking thing... The only thing I'll be feeding is the toilet in about 10 minzies. Stop being a prepubescent little twat, Pouch, and do it for your one fan... You sound as if someone has to twist your arm to eat food. If I get IBS right after, at least I don't have to wait to find out what color it is. That green colored bun is kinda creepy... Let's see if the real thing is as toxic green as the picture.

This omen cost $6.39... Almost as much as Arby's Seared Duck Sando.

Hmmm... It's not as green as I thought it would be. The green coloring supposedly comes from watermelon but who the fuck really knows if that is true. But it's a sizable sando. It's pretty thick with all that shit in there.

The side view doesn't make it anymore appetizing... It kinda looks like the wicked witch sleeping on her side with no underpants on... Which is kinda revolting to visualize. Elphaba, there are rejuvenation procedures these days for it... Just sayin'.

Sliced this creasture down the middle and there's the green. I'm kinda in the middle with this thinger. I don't hate it or like it. But the green spongy bun is kinda interesting... It's still keeping my curiosity.

Now, you can see all the layers of this Beetlejuice sando. The bun is pretty green. Could be matcha coloring for all we know. The fried cheekan patty looks dry as fuck and the burger all grainy. The cheese is barely melted. Oh, boy... Better add the "D" to IBS...

They give you 3 slices of bacon, but they are so thin that you can't even see it in the side view shot. But once you lift up the bun, they are there. They actually look pretty decent, not all shriveled up and burnt.

So, how was it, Pouch? It was nothing special, nothing craveworthy enough to get it again... You can't differentiate the textures or taste in each bite. It just tastes like a meat mass with not much seasoning. At least the regular old Whopper has some taste to it. C'mon, no one eats at a fast food dump for taste, it's all for filler on the cheap, but this fucking thing wasn't cheap at all. Blah blah blah, who gives a shit about how it tastes... All we want to know is what color was your shit, Lord Marsupial! I don't want to disappoint y'all but sadly, the turd cigars were normal color... Like baby brown sharks.
Yeah, this gimmick was exactly that... An impulse buy to find out what all the fuss was about. But I have no regrets, I did all in the spirit of Halloween. Plus, I was really fucking bored.

They also have a "Scary Black Cherry" slushie...

One can only imagine what color your piss or doodie will be after slurping this satanic swill.

The only nightmare I had was how gullible this fat fuck was for a holiday gimmick. This year's BK gimmick burger was a bust, better luck next year, but McDonald's is bringing back one of their most elusive shit sandwiches... And I can't wait for this year's review of the McRib, it's a Cheekan Lipz tradition that my one fan expects annually. I hope my bowels are up to it after this fiendish sando.