Thanks Fat Murica, Arby's did it again! They came up with another fucking gimmick to lure in the untapped neophytes into their dumps... And this fat fuck again as well. Jesus, why am I such a sucka for this garbage... Maybe because I am so lonely. When they say "We HaveThe Meats", they kinda mean it, somewhat... They are the only fast food chain to have offered pork belly, venison, elk and now, the duck. Let's see what they have to say about it online...
"True hunters know that successful pursuits in meat hunting begin with dedication and patience. Our Duck Sandwich is no different. Our Duck Sandwich features a premium duck breast, smoked cherry sauce, crispy onions all on a signature Arby's bun."
Since, my pursuit in meat hunting for chicks on Saturday night in midtown was a total failure like most weekends, I had a fool proof plan to slay another bird the next day. Arby's is only making these birds available at 16 locations throughout the nation and the only location offering this gimmick in Atlanta was on Roswell Rd and Wieuca. Ugh, y'all gonna make this muffin top drive through Buckhead to get some play... They better have this shit in stock or else I'll just have to go to Popeyes right up the street.
Let's take a gander shall we...
Hmm, it doesn't look anything special from this PR pic... Fuck, did I make a mistake driving all the way over here? Fuck it, you fat slob and just do it... You know you want to.
I have never paid $7 for one fast food sando ever before... I'm kinda regretting it already but it's got a sticker with a duck on it. Seriously, how good can it be? You motherfuckers better do some witchcraft on this meat craft... Or give me some weed first to give me the munchies or chant some sorcery shit. Open the damn box already...
Like usual, the visual of the real thing is nothing like the picture... At first glance, it looked like a cow muffin between two buns. I'm kinda disappointed already. Let's see what's under the hood...
That is some sad ass fried onions. Wait a minute, nevermind the fucking onion straws... Is that skin on that piece of meat thinger? Let's take a closer look...
Fuck me. That is a seared skin on something... Let's cut it in half and find out what this mysterious meat is.
Jesus, is that a moose knuckle? The meat hunt is over... Look at that bloody gash... It's fowl looking. Kinda reminds me of this fat hillbilly slob that took me home after a sloppy night of quarter pitchers in college... She was a beast. She did things to me that shouldn't be done to farm animals. Is it bad that I kinda wanna do an American Pie on it? I can imagine eating this is almost like going down on a heavy set broad... There's usually a lot of mons pubis to gnaw on. I better grab a handful of napkins before I even attempt to work on this bloody hatchet wound.
Let's take a closer look... Seriously, how is this possible... From Arby's? That is a pretty thick ass piece of pink duck breast. It is even a bit on the bloody side to make you do a double take at the buns. And the seared skin is kinda amazing to find on there as well. Took a bite and the thick breast meat fills up your mouth to satisfy that carnivore carving. It was tender, juicy and had a nice chew to it... Unpossible! And the skin was seasoned pretty well, too. There was no way this was made in this kitchen. They had to have prepped and cooked all these duck breast at another location and vac packed these beauties with instructions on how to reheat because there was no fucking way these slack jaws working here can sear a duck and render the fat this precisely. I hate to say it but did they sous vide these duck breast? I mean, if they're in vac packs already, then all these retards have to do is throw it in a hot water bath. However they prepared it, it was kinda worth the $7 to sample this mons pubis of duck.
I must admit, this might be Arby's best showing of exotic meats that they have been introducing on a limited basis. Sometimes, gimmicks do work and whatever gives them the most attention puts them on the radar for people who usually don't eat at fast food joints. The only time I even go to an Arby's is for their gimmick meats because it's just so ridiculous... Hey, believe me, I still waiting for their next gimmick to fail so miserably so I can rip them a new asshole... That's because I'm just returning the favor. If they come out with a bone-in Tomahawk chop or a wagyu or kobe steak sando, you can bet on my fat ass that the Pouch will be there. This is their 4th limited edition game meat, so, maybe their 9th mystery meat will finally kill the Pouch from curiosity. But I wouldn't bet on it.
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