Banshee

This may be the only new joint that hasn't got as much hype as all the other new openings in this one horse town... What gives? What is wrong with this place? Is it EAV and how ghetto it has become? Is it the owners/operators? Did they burn some bridges in the industry? Who knows but let's check Yelp... Those retards don't give a shit as long as they are the first to review. Surprisingly, there are only three rave reviews and 4 pictures of the neon sign and menu but no pictures of the grub... How can this be? Wait, they prolly didn't get any freebies is my guess... No reviews for you! 

Now, the Pouch's interest has been piqued. So, a little bird gave me a play by play during a recent visit about how awful the food was, especially, the braised duck mezzelune which was a salty cesspool... I must admit that I get excited and turned on by slop. I had to go and see and feed for myself since I haven't been to a shitty new resto in such a long time. So, I snuck in there quietly around 9:40 on a Friday night, it was packed but that didn't surprise me, what did stumped me was that the host said the kitchen was closed... On a Friday night before 10PM. Let me say it again... kitchen closed before 10 on a Friday night. Do they want to go out of business, is that their MO and business model? Jesus, don't make me go to Octopus Bar, they have gone downhill so much these day which gives me sad panda pouch face. The host said I could hangout at the bar and get drinks... Why would I when the bar looked like the Thunderdome... Master Blaster was in the weeds with the pigs around that trough. I got the fuck outta there literally in 21 seconds and wasn't gonna stay in EAV waiting for a gun fight to erupt on a Friday night... That's because I was only carrying a small Kahr, I will remember to bring my CZ Scorpion Evo 3 next time. 

I was kinda over this joint with that ridiculousness, but once the Pouch gets an hankering for new slop, it doesn't let go... I had to do it for my one reader since I haven't posted any new slop joints in so long. So, I got real fucked up on Saturday during the day so I can make it here early at night before the ghetto herd arrived. Got here around 5:30 to dine with the blue hairs and it was kinda crowded already. Whatever, as long as the bar is flowing and the kitchen isn't closed by 6PM we should be all good. 

Let's sample some dishes and see if it lives up to my low expectations I already have deemed them to be...  

I drank so much booze during the day that I had to piss like an inflated fugu... Don't worry, I will be enjoying myself in the shitter, I might even light my farts on fire in there for extra enjoyment.

Fry Bread, pepperoni butter, sesame, scallion. The fry bread was nothing special but the pepperoni butter was what I was interested in... How can this possibly be good? It's grease on fat... But y'all know what, it was surprisingly edible and a taste that was quickly acquired. It wasn't craveworthy enough alone to bring me back here but I would order it again if I was here again depending on the rest of the dishes.

Butternut Squash Ravioli, white bean, pumpkin seed picata, parmesan crisp, brown butter. Look at this plating... Where the fuck is the rav? It looks like it's hidden under a coral. If Nemo peeks out from beneath I will swallow that lil fucker like I did in college pledging. Let me re-plate this for them... Amateurs.

Voila! How difficult was that? Now, I can see all the actors in the bowl... That ravioli, one ravioli, looked so lonely in there all by it's lonesome. Is it too much to ask for two ravs? Not like it's filled with foie gras and truffles... It's squash for crying out loud. The parm crisp is nicely made, the white bean puree was velvety smooth, the ravioli pasta was toothy, the squash inside was fine and the entire execution was seasoned nicely. It's a good lil dish but don't be so friggin' cheap with just one veg rav... It's take two to make a Pouch feel right, it takes two to make it taste outta sight.

Wagyu Rare Beef Salad, peanut crisp, togarashi mayo, pickled carrot, tatsoi, soft egg. I was real skeptical about getting wagyu beef in EAV... It could be from the plethora of roadkill found on Bouldercrest... That road is filled with shady roadkill creastures. Ok, let's start from the top... The soft egg was spot-on, can't complain about that at all. The salad was more of a pickled veggie tasting. The use of exotic sounding Asian greens like tatsoi annoys me... Like they discovered some new breed of greens. It's just a friggin' spinach mustard thinger. Let's get to the main actor here... hidden under all that shit soaking up all the juices. The thinly slice manmeat wasn't as rare as stated but it tasted just ok, nothing really stood out on the flavor because it's been marinating under that mess. Not that it was putrid, either... But I wouldn't get it again because it got real tiresome after the perfect soft egg.

Pork Cheek Skewers, shishitos, garlic chips, dragon sauce. This will either be a big hit or a massive miss... And then this came out... This beautiful skewer of chubby swine cheeks sandwiched between shishito peppers looked amazing. There was no dragon sauce on the plate but it looked to be glazed on the cheeks. This dish was pretty damn tasty... the cheeks were tender as fuck and had a hint of sweetness and heat from the so called dragon sauce aka spicy soy sauce. This was good enough for the Pouch to put in a second order. Now, this was craveworthy enough for me to go back for more.

Pappardelle, sauce portugaise, shiitake mushrooms, fresno pepper, sage gremolata. Paying $16 for a small bowl of pasta usually pisses me off since pasta is low rent filler grub. This bowl may have been worth the price of admission if it wasn't all stuck together... I had to quickly rip the ribbons of pasta apart like a hair wax strip. The sauce and shiitake was pretty good and hearty but it coulda use a bit more seasoning. Every time I look at this bowl of pasta it reminds me of the 40 year old virgin. Oh, nipplefuck! Kelly Clarkson! I bet she likes to eat sticky pasta...

Pork Tenderloin, fig olivada, charred leek, almond, port jus. There was no fucking way in my rational pea brain I was gonna get the duck mezzelune but I really wanted to experience that nightmare... Alas, I played it safe since this entire visit has been going way better than expected. You can't fuck up a pork tenderloin, right? And that seemed to be true with this dish.. The medallions of Ms. Piggy were tender and moist, the figs were sweet and the port jus gave it that hint of richness. It's not a generous portion by any means but the execution was good enough to not make me mad for over paying for this tapas size portion. 

I was buzzed and all psyched to rip this joint a new brown balloon knot, but with the very decent visit I just had here, I have nothing really that crass to say... But then again, I didn't order the duck. I may just have to next time and then finish it off with the pork cheeks to cover up that salty cesspool in my cesshole.
The service was pleasant and prompt, their signature cocktails were ok but just stick with the classics like the old fashioned and sazerac along with the pork cheeks... And your night will not be a total shit show like the rest of EAV on a weekend night. I hope they can make it last in this shithole.

1271 Glenwood Ave
Atlanta, GA 30316
www.banshee-atl.com