Hattie B's Hot Chicken

There has not been a more over-hyped, over-crazed, over-PR'd opening in this one horse town in recent or past memory... You would think it would be some incredible restaurant/cuisine from NYC or LA with a sick menu, but nooooo, it's just a plain old fwied cheekan shack from Nashville... Not that I don't consider fried chicken one of the greatest foods ever created. When Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken came to downtown Atlanta, there were some hype but nothing on this level... Their second location in Chamblee got zero hype but I think the chicken there is better. I guess like in real life Memphis will always take a back seat to Nashville.
So, what makes Nashville Hot Chicken so desirable that makes tourists from near and far wait hours on line for? The original hot chicken joint, Prince's, was once the prince of the game but over the years the chicken has became worse and worse just like the lines outside their doors. The TV exposure and celeb chefs making appearances does help out these little local mom & pop shacks financially but in the long run makes their products deplorable and shameful. The last time I was at Prince's, I waited an hour and a half for a fucking XXX hot leg quarter and it was total garbage. I looked around the dumpy room at all these schmucks with shit eating grins on their faces as if they were eating gold or their last meal on death row. They have convinced themselves that this is what good food should taste like via the network media and social media in order to garner the almighty AAA effect on Facedouche/Instascam... What's the AAA effect you ask? Well, every mook who posts on FB/Instagram non-stop is always looking for Attention, Acceptance and Approval.
The Pouch says fuck off with all that nonsense. I barely post shit on social media.... Who the fuck got's the time... I mean, look at this stupid ass blog now. The Pouch was once a prolific writer (but still a prolific eater) and now, I am... "Truly a sight to behold. A Pouch beaten (or eaten). The once great chomper, now, a study in moppishness. No longer the victory hungry marsupial that have posted so many times before, but a pathetic, washed up, aged ex-bowel movement." Even my once loyal reader has moved on to better blogs like Goop, since Gwyneth Paltrow is such an authority in the food scene these days.
Let's get back to the original question... What makes the Nashville Hot Chicken so popular and in demand these days? Hasn't this gimmick ran it's course even after KFC introduced their version a couple years ago? Which wasn't as bad as I thought. I have been to the original Hattie B's in Nashville years ago and it bested all the other Nashville hot cheekan joints at that time. Their passion at that time created a really good product at a really good price point. They have since opened many more locations but never one in Atlanta, until now... Let's go see why it's been so popular since their doors opened... I tried to go a bunch of times but I passed on it every time since the line was wrapped around the fake lawn and building... Let's try this again and see what all the fuss is about... I was riding my motorcycle early one Sunday morning and happened to ride by this joint and noticed that the line was not bad at all, looked at the time and it was like 10:30AM, this place doesn't even open til 11AM and people were camped out already. These motherfuckers were sleeping on the tables using the brown burlap paper towels for blankets and pillows. You don't want to wake a sleeping elephant, I was a little skeered... But FUCK IT, just do it Pouch and regain your one reader's loyalty back, that's the only way to be legitimate again. I got on what seemed to be a line in this mini burning man gathering... There's no fucking way any of these mooks live intown, they were all tourists from OTP. But what blew me away was the amount of fat people here, it was surreal and surprising at the same time. Obese people don't move often, especially, early in the morning on a weekend, unless there is food involved or leaning over the side of the bed to pee in the pan. This creasture in front of me had legs the size of beer kegs, no ankles, just kankles... When they finally opened the doors for business exactly at 11AM, bigfoot walked in and blurted out a laundry list for his order. Does this beast really need to eat that much deep fried shit this early in the morning... As I asked my reflection in the glass door because I was gonna order exactly what he just did. Jesus Christ, am I as disgusting as all of these other fat slobs on line? Only one way to find out...

This spread included the large dark of STCU and Southern, a mild jumbo tender, a hot wing, pimento mac and cheese, black eyed pea salad, creamy coleslaw and banana pudding. The sweet tea was not sweet at all. Let's get right to the jumbo tender which was a bit dry and chewy, but it had a nice thin crust which was crispy and crunchy but the mild seasoning was pretty weak, obviously. The sides were pretty average, nothing really stood out. The slaw was slaw, the mac tasted like box mac which is not always a bad thing, the black eyed pea salad was bland but the watery vinegar base could help cut down the heat from the hot cheekan. The banana pudding was pretty good, it tasted like it was housemade and not from a box. But what about the hot wing and the STCU and Southern leg quarters, Pouch? There's just too many words in this post and your one reader is falling asleep... Just get to the good stuff already, fatso..

Large Dark, STCU and Southern. Shit, it's an eclipse! Nah, it's just the shut the cluck up and southern style... I wanted to try both ends of the spectrum, I call it the McCartney Wonder Effect aka the Ebony and Ivory taste test... I kinda prefer the Sinatra Wonder version on SNL but most millennials won't know what the fuck I'm talking about anyways... I am dark and you are light, you are blind as a bat and I have sight, life's an eskimo pie, let's take a bite... Nevermind. This pair of legs looked pretty balanced, kinda like yin and yang... Let's take a closer look.

Look at that thing, it's as black as night with extra habanero chili powder sprinkled on top... I'm getting IBS-D just looking at it. The crust was like armor, there's no way you're gonna eat that thing with your hands. I tried cutting it up but the crust was not cooperating. It was a total mess eating this but was it as spicy as they say it is? Well, no... It wasn't the same STCU I had in Nashville. Seemed like this sample I got was made in advance and kept in a warm box... The crust was kinda dried out and the meat inside was dry as well, it was pretty disappointing. I'm thinking that the STCU needed to be pre-made because it is such a process to develop that thick ass dark crust... But all that hard work didn't pay off in the end product. The STCU heat level was not as hot as I remembered it as well, it was pretty weak for their extreme hot level... I would say it's a 6 or 7 out of 10. Don't get me wrong, there's definitely heat in there and 99% of the pedestrians here will never be able to handle it. For the Pouch, the heat kicked in after 60 seconds and then it peaked after 5 minzies, from there it was all downhill. I will never get this again because it was such a nonevent and didn't deliver what it promised.
The plain Southern style fried chicken turned out a lot better, the crispy thin crust, the juicy innards and the simple seasoning made this a lot more appetizing to eat unlike that other warlock leg. It's a pretty good plain fried chicken but for the money, I would do Popeyes all day long. Look, no one comes here for their plain fwied cheekan, their gimmick is the hot chicken and it's obviously bringing in all the boys to their fake yard. I looked around and I was pleasantly surprised to see that most people were getting the "hot" level at least.
As much as I wanted to forget about the dark lord... The thick molasses crust of cayenne, chilies and spices on the STCU will sit in your bowels like the pit of Sarlacc but it won't take a thousand years to digest... It will slowly give you little love notes over the rest of the day to remind you that the demonic shit you just consumed is still alive and well inside you like Rosemary's baby. You will be burping and farting periodically until the Kraken is released with little to no warning. It will definitely put your stock of double ply to the test... Over and over again for the rest of the night. If you bring home TP from your office, you will literally be shit outta luck with that 1 ply crap. After a strenuous 4 rounds... I tried to tie my balloon knot as tight as I could before I went to bed but Davy Jones popped my balloon at 4AM and I stumbled into the bathroom like a belligerent Jack Sparrow and sprayed the starboard side of the bowl with a dose of Hattie Bowel's. Another reason why I will not be getting the STCU ever again... It's just bad news all around.

The hot wing on the other hand was actually quite nice. The hot seasoning had a gorgeous vibrant red color and a nice little kick which balanced out the crispy crust and juicy meat inside. The way to go here is to just stick with the hot level on all the chicken options but if you really need just a bit more heat then the damn hot will do. The pickle helped cool down the heat but the white bread was a total waste. I can only imagine how many loaves of bread go straight into the trash can every day. Shit, the STCU basically melted the white bread and the wax paper and it wasn't even that hot.

I liked Hattie B's a lot more in Nashville and while their shiny new Atlanta location still needs to work on a few things, I am genuinely happy that they are doing a ridiculous amount of business since the first day. They did an amazing job on transforming the former location that sat empty for years. Tourists and pedestrians will continue to swamp this joint for awhile but hopefully, once the crowds die down and gets more consistent, their food will do the same. As for the Pouch, I would rather drive to their location in Nashville for better executed hot chicken before I get on the insane line again in L5P. Atlanta once again proves that this town love gimmicks. Atlanta gets what Atlanta deserves...

PS- No chicken bones were found in the parking lot... Yet.

299 Moreland Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30307
http://hattieb.com/